This blog post a day thing just isn't working out right now. It makes me dread next month a bit. I suppose I have some good reasons for not posting everyday. Things like a wedding and not having the time to post this weekend are logical reasons. I am working to be forgiving of myself, though it feels counter intuitive.
I had some odd dreams this morning when I took my nap. I dreamed that I was back at college. All of the anxieties of living in a strange place, surrounded by unfamiliar people, and of being truly on my own for the first time came roaring back in that dream. I think I owe Njord's Darling something of an apology. Intellectually, I recalled this difficulty but the reality of it was blurred by the past. I think I painted too easy of a picture of how one makes friends in a new environment, I fear.
And then there is the awkward feeling/push to mend fences with A. I look at it all and I honestly feel a mixed sense of mortification, frustration, and something that I can't exactly define. I'm realizing that my friendship with A. was a casualty of the depressive episode that I was in this summer. I am also realizing that it was a measure of cowardice that I didn't say something to A. about what was troubling me.
I'm inwardly flailing over how to approach the whole thing. A part of me says I should hold my silence because it just was a terrible thing that I did and that there is no good reason to expect that she would be willing to deal with me again. On the whole, I haven't any idea how to proceed. I'm stuck in this place where I am wavering between doing something and not. It's awful.
roses
Monday, October 07, 2013
Friday, October 04, 2013
The news today.
So, a guy lit himself on fire in DC today. A woman got shot after a weird car chase in DC yesterday. A tropical storm is bearing down on the northern coast of the gulf as people are trying to get FEMA funded at the last minute. And, let us not forget, the govenor of Pennsylvania declared that being gay is like incest.
What in Hel's name is wrong with people today? In other news, somebody was clever at the National Weather Service in Alaska. Well played, guys, well played.
What in Hel's name is wrong with people today? In other news, somebody was clever at the National Weather Service in Alaska. Well played, guys, well played.
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Another day...
I have decided that I need to start work on getting ready for NaNoWriMo. I was on the fence as to what project I should work on. Then one of my friends nudged me in the direction of writing the second book in the fantasy series. On paper, I'm a third of the way through the outline of the first part of the story. I may have to revise my count of how many books this is going to make. >.<
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
News!
It is with great joy that I announce that my first novel is available for purchase. This has been over a decade in the making. This is the first book in a series. If you are curious about the series, a bit of the back story is up in my other blog. I will be adding new material to that a touch later this week.
The story about the novel is kind of interesting. When I was a young girl, I told my great grandmother that I was going to write her a book. I then became a touch obsessed with everything relating to being a writer. Time passed and my great grandmother did as well. Where this would have crushed some people's motivation, I just dug my heels in and became yet more determined.
I was a quiet child. I found the greatest comfort in the works of fantasy and I dreamed about being a princess. Unlike other girls, however, the princess in my dreams was not waiting for some hero to come rescue her. No, my princess was a hero in her own right. I read the myths of my ancestors and the works of some of the most brilliant minds that ever wrote fiction. Even as I dreamed, I studied my craft.
I had some aptitude for writing when I was in school. After reading the Lord of the Rings and the Simarillion in seventh grade, I decided that I had to write down the story that was living within me. My very first attempt was a four page long story. Even then, I called it my book. I will never forget the day I finished my very first draft. I brought it to my Grandmother, the daughter of the great grandmother (who was an author, like her mother) and nearly burst with pride as she read it.
She then looked at me over the tops of her glasses and said, "But where's the rest of the story?"
Over the course of time between seventh grade and when I graduated high school, I worked relentlessly on that story. By the time I had something novel length, I had decided that this was my profession. I went off to college and even as I found myself pulled in different directions, my writing continued to be my pole star. It was somewhere after the first semester of my freshman year that tragedy happened.
The manuscript that I held as my life line through high school was lost. The file it was on was corrupted and I had one paragraph left. So, I did what I felt that any other author worth their salt would do. I picked up my pen and I set to work. Over the course of the next year, I wrote my second version of the manuscript. I decided that I was going to edit it and attempt the arduous process of publication.
I was half way through editing it when I lost the second version. Life got in the way of writing for a while. I poured my story out into journal entries and random short pieces where I could find the time to write. Little did I realize that I was building a world. Six years later, I wrote the third version of the story. I was smart and I made a hard copy. While the failures of technology consumed the digital copy, I had my book in hand.
I laboriously worked on editing that manuscript. As I worked, I found that my little story wasn't as simple as those first four pages. So, rather then trying to force it all into one text, I built an outline of the story. That was when I realized with more then a little bit of shock that my little four page story was actually a series of twelve books. Then I sat down and I wrote the outline for the story that came before and after my little four page story. To say the least, I have a great deal of work ahead of me.
I stumbled into National Novel Writing Month about seven years ago. My beloved late friend Liz, who had read my earlier versions of what I had called 'the novel' pointed me in that direction. I wrote the fourth version of the manuscript that year. I put it into a proverbial drawer and forgot about it as my life became focused on the challenges of motherhood. In 2009, I blew the dust off of the manuscript and sat down with it again.
I wrote the fifth version of my manuscript over the course of the month of November. When I finished it, Liz was one of the first people to read it. She declared that I needed to stop sitting on the story and get it published. It wasn't long after then that Liz died. I was crushed and for a time gave up on my dream. Trouble came to visit my family and I found myself desperate for solace.
Rather then re-write my manuscript for a sixth time, I wrote something entirely different. (That book is in the midst of editing right now.) When I found myself with a regained sense of equilibrium, I returned to 'the novel' and went through it with great care. Last year, my Grandfather was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. It became apparent to me that time was drawing short for me to do what I had decided.
I worked with a measure of frantic effort and more then a little escapism. Having my alter ego battling forces of evil, where triumph was assured, was easier for me then dealing with the fact that my Grandfather was dying. And when I had asked him what I could do to be of any help, he explicitly told me to continue with my writing. So, I threw myself into it with abandon.
In April of this year, I published my first work. It is a little prayer book that I dedicated to my grandparents. While I wasn't able to put a copy of the book into his hands, my Grandfather knew before he died that I was a published author. In September, I published my second work, a horror novella that was my solace in the last months of my Grandfather's illness. He died before it was finished. I dedicated it to him. And now, I have this work to share. When the holidays come, I'll be giving my Grandmother a copy of each of these books.
It doesn't matter to me that I did this through a 'vanity press'. All that matters is that I have done what I said I was going to do. Now, if after reading this story of mine you would like to purchase any of my books, please do so. If you would like a signed copy, you will have to wait a few months.
The Dragon's Daughter (e-book, paperback, and hard cover) is my fantasy novel, or as I have called it 'the novel.' The Red Chair (e-book and paperback) is the horror novella. Rose Petals (e-book and paperback) is the prayer book and the first book I ever published.
The story about the novel is kind of interesting. When I was a young girl, I told my great grandmother that I was going to write her a book. I then became a touch obsessed with everything relating to being a writer. Time passed and my great grandmother did as well. Where this would have crushed some people's motivation, I just dug my heels in and became yet more determined.
I was a quiet child. I found the greatest comfort in the works of fantasy and I dreamed about being a princess. Unlike other girls, however, the princess in my dreams was not waiting for some hero to come rescue her. No, my princess was a hero in her own right. I read the myths of my ancestors and the works of some of the most brilliant minds that ever wrote fiction. Even as I dreamed, I studied my craft.
I had some aptitude for writing when I was in school. After reading the Lord of the Rings and the Simarillion in seventh grade, I decided that I had to write down the story that was living within me. My very first attempt was a four page long story. Even then, I called it my book. I will never forget the day I finished my very first draft. I brought it to my Grandmother, the daughter of the great grandmother (who was an author, like her mother) and nearly burst with pride as she read it.
She then looked at me over the tops of her glasses and said, "But where's the rest of the story?"
Over the course of time between seventh grade and when I graduated high school, I worked relentlessly on that story. By the time I had something novel length, I had decided that this was my profession. I went off to college and even as I found myself pulled in different directions, my writing continued to be my pole star. It was somewhere after the first semester of my freshman year that tragedy happened.
The manuscript that I held as my life line through high school was lost. The file it was on was corrupted and I had one paragraph left. So, I did what I felt that any other author worth their salt would do. I picked up my pen and I set to work. Over the course of the next year, I wrote my second version of the manuscript. I decided that I was going to edit it and attempt the arduous process of publication.
I was half way through editing it when I lost the second version. Life got in the way of writing for a while. I poured my story out into journal entries and random short pieces where I could find the time to write. Little did I realize that I was building a world. Six years later, I wrote the third version of the story. I was smart and I made a hard copy. While the failures of technology consumed the digital copy, I had my book in hand.
I laboriously worked on editing that manuscript. As I worked, I found that my little story wasn't as simple as those first four pages. So, rather then trying to force it all into one text, I built an outline of the story. That was when I realized with more then a little bit of shock that my little four page story was actually a series of twelve books. Then I sat down and I wrote the outline for the story that came before and after my little four page story. To say the least, I have a great deal of work ahead of me.
I stumbled into National Novel Writing Month about seven years ago. My beloved late friend Liz, who had read my earlier versions of what I had called 'the novel' pointed me in that direction. I wrote the fourth version of the manuscript that year. I put it into a proverbial drawer and forgot about it as my life became focused on the challenges of motherhood. In 2009, I blew the dust off of the manuscript and sat down with it again.
I wrote the fifth version of my manuscript over the course of the month of November. When I finished it, Liz was one of the first people to read it. She declared that I needed to stop sitting on the story and get it published. It wasn't long after then that Liz died. I was crushed and for a time gave up on my dream. Trouble came to visit my family and I found myself desperate for solace.
Rather then re-write my manuscript for a sixth time, I wrote something entirely different. (That book is in the midst of editing right now.) When I found myself with a regained sense of equilibrium, I returned to 'the novel' and went through it with great care. Last year, my Grandfather was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. It became apparent to me that time was drawing short for me to do what I had decided.
I worked with a measure of frantic effort and more then a little escapism. Having my alter ego battling forces of evil, where triumph was assured, was easier for me then dealing with the fact that my Grandfather was dying. And when I had asked him what I could do to be of any help, he explicitly told me to continue with my writing. So, I threw myself into it with abandon.
In April of this year, I published my first work. It is a little prayer book that I dedicated to my grandparents. While I wasn't able to put a copy of the book into his hands, my Grandfather knew before he died that I was a published author. In September, I published my second work, a horror novella that was my solace in the last months of my Grandfather's illness. He died before it was finished. I dedicated it to him. And now, I have this work to share. When the holidays come, I'll be giving my Grandmother a copy of each of these books.
It doesn't matter to me that I did this through a 'vanity press'. All that matters is that I have done what I said I was going to do. Now, if after reading this story of mine you would like to purchase any of my books, please do so. If you would like a signed copy, you will have to wait a few months.
The Dragon's Daughter (e-book, paperback, and hard cover) is my fantasy novel, or as I have called it 'the novel.' The Red Chair (e-book and paperback) is the horror novella. Rose Petals (e-book and paperback) is the prayer book and the first book I ever published.
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Oct. NaBloPoMo #1
Just a short entry today. The way I see it, if I manage to even get a sentence done, it counts as a post. I have a lot to be thankful for right now. I am striving to focus on that rather then the fears that I am not good enough and such. I am also working on not letting my social phobia control me.
As such, I am pushing past my comfort zone and making a point of going out and being social today. I am also making a point of being 'available' to do readings. Last month, my illnesses ran the show a lot. It had the unfortunate side effect of my 'missing time' and several bills getting paid late. My goal for this month is to avoid this happening again.
In other news, I have a few works published as of last month. This week, I'll be putting out my first novel via Lulu. I am as jumpy as a cat in a rocking chair factory, but I am doing my best to quell my nerves and make this happen anyways. I have over a decade worth of work into this stuff. It's long past time I got serious and published any of it.
Here's the links to the stuff I do have published right now.
The Red Chair - paperback $7.00 e-book $1.50
Rose Petals - paperback $9.00 e-book $2.99
As such, I am pushing past my comfort zone and making a point of going out and being social today. I am also making a point of being 'available' to do readings. Last month, my illnesses ran the show a lot. It had the unfortunate side effect of my 'missing time' and several bills getting paid late. My goal for this month is to avoid this happening again.
In other news, I have a few works published as of last month. This week, I'll be putting out my first novel via Lulu. I am as jumpy as a cat in a rocking chair factory, but I am doing my best to quell my nerves and make this happen anyways. I have over a decade worth of work into this stuff. It's long past time I got serious and published any of it.
Here's the links to the stuff I do have published right now.
The Red Chair - paperback $7.00 e-book $1.50
Rose Petals - paperback $9.00 e-book $2.99
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Deleted a blog, anticipating challenges on the book, and editing woes.
I have deleted one of my fiction blogs. The story of Angel versus Xenogen will be coming back but as an e-book. The science fiction story is a bit convoluted but I anticipate that it should come together and be finished by February. I have most of the story line plotted out. It is just a matter of writing up the sentences based off of the bullet points.
I am going to probably still write it in small chunks. The holidays are going to be blisteringly busy and writing time is going to be at a premium. It is also going to take a little bit of work to 'shift gears' from fantasy to science fiction. I have my little notebook of ideas and some of the earliest stuff that I wrote relating to this story kicking around. I'll be dragging it out after a little while.
Right now, I'm just trying to focus on the various projects I have kicking around and organizing my workload. I am a bit stumped on how to clean up some of the enormous manuscript of the fetish novel. There are elements that I am pretty sure that I need to re-envision but the original work just is all that comes to mind.
I feel like editing for grammar is the easy part. This editing for content business, however, is utterly maddening. I have also noticed that my consumption of tea has increased dramatically. I am now consuming it by the pot rather then by the cup. Thank goodness my cupboard is well stocked.
I am going to probably still write it in small chunks. The holidays are going to be blisteringly busy and writing time is going to be at a premium. It is also going to take a little bit of work to 'shift gears' from fantasy to science fiction. I have my little notebook of ideas and some of the earliest stuff that I wrote relating to this story kicking around. I'll be dragging it out after a little while.
Right now, I'm just trying to focus on the various projects I have kicking around and organizing my workload. I am a bit stumped on how to clean up some of the enormous manuscript of the fetish novel. There are elements that I am pretty sure that I need to re-envision but the original work just is all that comes to mind.
I feel like editing for grammar is the easy part. This editing for content business, however, is utterly maddening. I have also noticed that my consumption of tea has increased dramatically. I am now consuming it by the pot rather then by the cup. Thank goodness my cupboard is well stocked.
Joke found on the interwebz
One day, a man is walking along the beach and comes across an
odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubs it and,
much to his surprise, a genie actually appears. "For releasing me from
the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," says the genie.
The man is ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the genie continues. "What catch?" asks the man, eyeing the genie suspiciously. The genie replies, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you ask for." "Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replies the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asks the genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appears in front of the man. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," says the genie. "What is your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars," replies the man, and POOF! One million dollars appears at his feet. "Now every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer," the genie reminds the man. "Well, that's OK, as long as I've got MY million," replies the man.
"And what is your final wish?" asks the genie. The man thinks long and hard, and finally says, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."
Credit to Bob G.
The man is ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the genie continues. "What catch?" asks the man, eyeing the genie suspiciously. The genie replies, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you ask for." "Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replies the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asks the genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appears in front of the man. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," says the genie. "What is your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars," replies the man, and POOF! One million dollars appears at his feet. "Now every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer," the genie reminds the man. "Well, that's OK, as long as I've got MY million," replies the man.
"And what is your final wish?" asks the genie. The man thinks long and hard, and finally says, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."
Credit to Bob G.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Fiber fest and other stuff.
So, last weekend I went with my mother in law to Fiber Fest over in Hemlock. It rained all day but I think it did me a bit of good. The rain kept the crowds down to a minimum. I spent most of my time wandering around and avoiding crowded areas. I think the touch of sinus issues that I have right now is a combination of allergies and the lingering effects of that jaunt.
I dropped some coin into spinning supplies. I picked up two new spindles. One is a little 4 ounce supported spindle. The other is a small sized bottom whorl spindle with a lovely clay whorl with celtic knots inscribed onto it. I picked up some fiber too, because you can't buy spindles with out getting something to spin, right? I also bought a set of US size 2 double pointed knitting needles. I realized that I needed a set to make that pair of socks I wanted and I couldn't pass by getting the set for $1.00.
I had a lovely time admiring the horses that were drawing the wagon around the festival and the fiber producing livestock that folks had brought with them. This year, there was only one llama. It was an indifferent beast, seemingly ignoring his handlers with the same aplomb as he ignored his admirers. I was impressed with the Icelandic sheep that I got to pet.
It was the yearling ram who headbutted my hand for more pets that I really enjoyed. I'm familiar with cats and dogs doing this. I never expected a sheep to do that. I was sorely tempted to buy some of the fiber that came from that black coated ram but the price was just outside of my budget, so I contended myself with pets. The owners were amused with how charmed I was by their rams. I think it was the fact that I talked to him, where as others just stared or patted the nose once or twice, that amused them the most.
I did what I usually did when I encountered an animal, I talked to them. As such, the horses, sheep, and rabbits all got a bit of attention and babble directed at them. Most people just looked at me funny. Not even the kids there were willing to talk to the animals. I found that kinda curious. I don't know, maybe I am the weird one. *shrugs* I'm not going to try to figure it out.
I have been really busy over the last several days. I am working on prepping two manuscripts for publication via Lulu. Last week, I sent out the second version of my prayer book. I published it as an e-book and a paperback. I hope to have stuff sorted out so that I can get my other works up on Lulu soon. I'm at something of a loss for how to market it, but I'll figure that out after I get stuff up there.
I dropped some coin into spinning supplies. I picked up two new spindles. One is a little 4 ounce supported spindle. The other is a small sized bottom whorl spindle with a lovely clay whorl with celtic knots inscribed onto it. I picked up some fiber too, because you can't buy spindles with out getting something to spin, right? I also bought a set of US size 2 double pointed knitting needles. I realized that I needed a set to make that pair of socks I wanted and I couldn't pass by getting the set for $1.00.
I had a lovely time admiring the horses that were drawing the wagon around the festival and the fiber producing livestock that folks had brought with them. This year, there was only one llama. It was an indifferent beast, seemingly ignoring his handlers with the same aplomb as he ignored his admirers. I was impressed with the Icelandic sheep that I got to pet.
It was the yearling ram who headbutted my hand for more pets that I really enjoyed. I'm familiar with cats and dogs doing this. I never expected a sheep to do that. I was sorely tempted to buy some of the fiber that came from that black coated ram but the price was just outside of my budget, so I contended myself with pets. The owners were amused with how charmed I was by their rams. I think it was the fact that I talked to him, where as others just stared or patted the nose once or twice, that amused them the most.
I did what I usually did when I encountered an animal, I talked to them. As such, the horses, sheep, and rabbits all got a bit of attention and babble directed at them. Most people just looked at me funny. Not even the kids there were willing to talk to the animals. I found that kinda curious. I don't know, maybe I am the weird one. *shrugs* I'm not going to try to figure it out.
I have been really busy over the last several days. I am working on prepping two manuscripts for publication via Lulu. Last week, I sent out the second version of my prayer book. I published it as an e-book and a paperback. I hope to have stuff sorted out so that I can get my other works up on Lulu soon. I'm at something of a loss for how to market it, but I'll figure that out after I get stuff up there.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Open Letter to a Troll
Dear Troll 'John Oputa':
Your attempts to troll are amusingly
pathetic. At some point in time, I highly suggest that you pick up a
copy of Strunk and White's Elements of Style, a thesaurus, and the AP
Style manual. Those three items will assist you dramatically.
Please, allow me to expound upon the
reason why you are in need of these three books. You wrote:
Dear Miskell,Your earliest response
would be appreciated on the regards.
I am Mr John Oputa, a legal
practitioner in Togo Republic West Africa
and personal attorney to Engineer
A.Miskell, a deceased client of mine
who died in a car accident along Kara
express Road On the 21st of
April 2008, with, his wife and their
only daughter.
I have contacted you to assist in the
distribution of the funds left
valued at US$8.5 million.
For more explanations please reply to
my private email johnoputa55@gmail.com
Yours faithfully
John Oputa.
Line one of your missive is a glaring
error. The greeting of a letter is to be presented upon its own line.
Additionally, your sentence is passive. If you are in the business of
exhorting people to do things, you must use more active voice. As
such, consider rephrasing the sentence thusly:
I would appreciate your earliest
response on the matter.
Line two of your letter is simply
atrocious. Mr. Oputa, if you are truly an educated man who is versed
in English as well as your native language, you would have recognized
that your run-on sentence is awkward to read, at best. If you wish to
use this in the future, please, rephrase this into two separate
sentences. This does not fatigue the reader's eye and maintains
active voice. Maintaining active voice serves to engage your reader
and makes them more pliant to your persuasions.
Additionally, Mr. Oputa, you failed to
use proper punctuation in your title. This does not bode well for
someone who is of your supposed level of education. I will not state
the obvious errors you have made in capitalization, the use of
comma-splicing, or your poor execution of conveying the urgency of
the situation.
Line three of your letter is by far the
most legible of the missive. At the same time, however, your passive
voice continues to plague your writing. I will not insult your
intelligence by presuming to give you a better phrasing. I am certain
that this simple error is quite easily resolved with a little bit of
thought.
Line four of your letter is marginally
better then line three. Failure to use proper punctuation at the end
of the line is something that I can forgive. Inserting e-mail
addresses into the final clause of a sentence is difficult and can
make punctuation problematic.
Mr. Oputa, your failure to impress me
with your missive most assuredly means that you will fail to impress
me in other areas. If you, an educated man, can not write a simple
e-mail to me that properly expresses the urgency of your mission or
presents a compelling argument for me to contact you, I highly doubt
you can muster up anything truly of interest. If you wish to try
again, I will be happy to assist you.
The fee for my services as a
beta-reader and editor begins at $100/hr. This can be negotiated,
provided you are accomplished enough in the language to engage in
such a discussion. If you are unable to do so, Mr. Oputa, I would
suggest that you speak with your colleague, the most unimpressively
named Tom.
I am most disappointed. Mr. Oputa. If I
were grading your work, I would give you an 'F' and have you re-write
this letter until it is correct. At which time, I would then have you
copy it thirty times, to ensure that the proper methodology of how to
compose correspondence is burned into your feeble brain.
Monday, September 09, 2013
So, I published some stuff.
The Red Chair has finally made it through the editing process. It is up on Lulu as both a paperback and an ebook. My next task will be to distribute the links through out the blog-o-sphere and the social networking sites I am on. They're both inexpensive works. It's the first time I have something out there under my real name.
I'm a little nervous but at the same time I am excited. It's not everyday that I do this. Who knows, I may get this thing to work out pretty well for me.
I'm a little nervous but at the same time I am excited. It's not everyday that I do this. Who knows, I may get this thing to work out pretty well for me.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Good Morning World!
The boys are happily playing trains and cars just across the room. I've got some cheerful music playing on the radio and I have made some major progress on a long term project I have been working on for months. All I need is another cup of coffee.
I am feeling pretty good about life. It is a glorious thing to feel this way. I am profoundly thankful.
I am feeling pretty good about life. It is a glorious thing to feel this way. I am profoundly thankful.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
I'm a Feminist.
I had a hard time sleeping last night because of how angry I was over the treatment that these young ladies had gotten for standing up for their rights. I get furious over the blatant disrespect, harassment, and verbal abuse that young women are routinely subjected to. The tired old excuse of 'boys are just that way' makes me so angry that I have a hard time seeing straight.
I get furious when I hear people say that feminism is a 'finished' thing. (I have the same response when I hear that said about racism too, by the way.) The fight for equal rights is not going to be finished until people are judged on the merits of their work and behavior, rather then their appearance. It's not going to be finished until harassment of women under the guise of flirtation is no longer tolerated. It's not going to be finished until women are getting equal pay for equal work. It's not going to be finished until people look at a stay at home mom and acknowledge how much hard work she does, and the value of her contribution to society, rather then saying she's 'just a housewife.'
When the subtle and gross insults that insinuate that one gender is less then another are eradicated from our language, perhaps then we can begin to engage in an open discussion of what gender is really about. When people stop upholding the double standard that men can be bare chested in public with out criticism but women being bare chested is obscene, perhaps we can begin a real discussion about what is decent dress and manner of behavior for a setting. I could keep listing off injustices subtle and gross until I'm blue in the face and I wouldn't begin to scrape the surface of this pervasive problem.
Feminism is not about decrying men or putting them down. It's about creating a culture where gender matters about as much as your toenail clippings. It's about creating a society where people are considered on the merits of their behavior, actions, and ideas. I'm not a feminist because I am angry or because I hate men. I'm a feminist because I see a fundamental problem in how our society operates and that I must take action to correct it.
I want my sons to grow up in a more just world. The only way that is going to happen is if I take steps to make sure it is in my home and in the people we associate with. Boys are not born misogynistic. They are taught this. We need to teach them a better way.
I get furious when I hear people say that feminism is a 'finished' thing. (I have the same response when I hear that said about racism too, by the way.) The fight for equal rights is not going to be finished until people are judged on the merits of their work and behavior, rather then their appearance. It's not going to be finished until harassment of women under the guise of flirtation is no longer tolerated. It's not going to be finished until women are getting equal pay for equal work. It's not going to be finished until people look at a stay at home mom and acknowledge how much hard work she does, and the value of her contribution to society, rather then saying she's 'just a housewife.'
When the subtle and gross insults that insinuate that one gender is less then another are eradicated from our language, perhaps then we can begin to engage in an open discussion of what gender is really about. When people stop upholding the double standard that men can be bare chested in public with out criticism but women being bare chested is obscene, perhaps we can begin a real discussion about what is decent dress and manner of behavior for a setting. I could keep listing off injustices subtle and gross until I'm blue in the face and I wouldn't begin to scrape the surface of this pervasive problem.
Feminism is not about decrying men or putting them down. It's about creating a culture where gender matters about as much as your toenail clippings. It's about creating a society where people are considered on the merits of their behavior, actions, and ideas. I'm not a feminist because I am angry or because I hate men. I'm a feminist because I see a fundamental problem in how our society operates and that I must take action to correct it.
I want my sons to grow up in a more just world. The only way that is going to happen is if I take steps to make sure it is in my home and in the people we associate with. Boys are not born misogynistic. They are taught this. We need to teach them a better way.
Monday, August 05, 2013
Conscious kindness.
I've been doing a lot of thinking today about what it means to be kind. It's especially difficult to do when you are upset or in an otherwise unpleasant mental space. I have been struggling today with a decision on how to handle a situation that brought up a lot of unpleasant feelings. As I examined the feelings, I found myself making a determined effort to let go of them and treating them like physical sensations.
It was a bit frustrating at first. A part of me wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and just let myself be all angry and hurt. I then asked myself, was that the kind thing to do? It was less a matter of being kind to some other person and more one of being kind to myself. When it was all said and done, I came to the conclusion that wallowing in anger and angst was a cruel thing to do to myself.
So, I returned to observing the sensation of anger and angst. Somewhere in the midst of this, the hold of those feelings waned. It was no longer nigh on all consuming. I then moved from observing the sensation to getting to the root of it. I named what I was feeling and then identified the cause. Once I established what the cause of the feeling was, I carefully considered what each possible way to address the cause that came to mind.
My recurrent question as I looked at the costs and benefits of each action that was 'is it just?' and then it was 'is it kind?' It took me a while to sift through the emotional response that each considered action brought to the fore. I found myself rehearsing arguments with people, regardless if those arguments were even going to happen. I found myself considering what would be sufficient to make the people who had upset me regret doing so. I found myself considering petty retorts that while temporarily satisfying would have only proven to exacerbate the problem.
The thing that I surprised myself with, however, was that even as I explored the actions that I didn't believe to be fitting (because I decided that any possible solution that came to mind had to be carefully examined before being discarded), I wasn't judgmental towards myself for thinking of them. I disengaged from criticism by way of looking at what the emotions at play behind the response that I considered were.
It took me a significant portion of my afternoon to get down to the roots of all the feelings involved. I carefully examined each possible solution that would address the primary problems. When I finished examining them all, I put each one through my two bellwether questions (mentioned earlier). Once I found the solution that met both requirements, I decided that I was finished with my exploration. The conscious exploration of what was both a just and a kind solution just served to further cement in my mind that I choose to be a kind person.
Kindness is mistaken by some people for weakness. In my relentless pursuit of the best solution to the problem that evoked the negative response from me, I realized that it takes great strength to remain kind when the situation evokes a passionate desire to be seeking retribution, even under the guise of being just. It's less a matter of wrestling with something external at that point and struggling against yourself. I think that kindness won this round because I consciously chose to remain kind despite what other options there were.
The temporary satisfaction that might have come from cutting retorts just wouldn't outweigh the long term complications that would have come from it. It also would have been something that I would have regretted. So, I chose kindness.
It was a bit frustrating at first. A part of me wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and just let myself be all angry and hurt. I then asked myself, was that the kind thing to do? It was less a matter of being kind to some other person and more one of being kind to myself. When it was all said and done, I came to the conclusion that wallowing in anger and angst was a cruel thing to do to myself.
So, I returned to observing the sensation of anger and angst. Somewhere in the midst of this, the hold of those feelings waned. It was no longer nigh on all consuming. I then moved from observing the sensation to getting to the root of it. I named what I was feeling and then identified the cause. Once I established what the cause of the feeling was, I carefully considered what each possible way to address the cause that came to mind.
My recurrent question as I looked at the costs and benefits of each action that was 'is it just?' and then it was 'is it kind?' It took me a while to sift through the emotional response that each considered action brought to the fore. I found myself rehearsing arguments with people, regardless if those arguments were even going to happen. I found myself considering what would be sufficient to make the people who had upset me regret doing so. I found myself considering petty retorts that while temporarily satisfying would have only proven to exacerbate the problem.
The thing that I surprised myself with, however, was that even as I explored the actions that I didn't believe to be fitting (because I decided that any possible solution that came to mind had to be carefully examined before being discarded), I wasn't judgmental towards myself for thinking of them. I disengaged from criticism by way of looking at what the emotions at play behind the response that I considered were.
It took me a significant portion of my afternoon to get down to the roots of all the feelings involved. I carefully examined each possible solution that would address the primary problems. When I finished examining them all, I put each one through my two bellwether questions (mentioned earlier). Once I found the solution that met both requirements, I decided that I was finished with my exploration. The conscious exploration of what was both a just and a kind solution just served to further cement in my mind that I choose to be a kind person.
Kindness is mistaken by some people for weakness. In my relentless pursuit of the best solution to the problem that evoked the negative response from me, I realized that it takes great strength to remain kind when the situation evokes a passionate desire to be seeking retribution, even under the guise of being just. It's less a matter of wrestling with something external at that point and struggling against yourself. I think that kindness won this round because I consciously chose to remain kind despite what other options there were.
The temporary satisfaction that might have come from cutting retorts just wouldn't outweigh the long term complications that would have come from it. It also would have been something that I would have regretted. So, I chose kindness.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Short Fiction: Mr. Nailson
He looked down at his watch and then flicked an invisible bit of lint off of the cuff of his wool suit. The call center was a hive of busy activity, but the tall, lean redheaded man seemed to take no notice of it. His clothes were perfect for the setting, just the right mix of severity and casual to make him blend in with anyone at any level in the company, with the exception of the janitorial staff. The only thing that seemed a bit off was the set of scars running down the middle of each lip. The scars were fainter on his upper lip, but the discoloration was still pronounced enough that it caught the eye.
As he waited for his meeting, he watched the people about him. Some of them seemed to stand out as brilliant lights of personality. Others just seemed to be bland copies of each other. He wasn't sure if he pitied the ones who lacked originality or if he was disgusted by them. This question, and curiosity as to what there was to see, kept his eyes moving over the people about him. A balding heavy set man made his way out of a cubicle at the head of the line immediately before the waiting man.
As he walked up to his two fifteen appointment, he glanced down at the folder in his hand. The resume was impressive. It was clear that the neatly dressed man was overqualified for a phone jockey job, but the economy was hard. The balding man reached up and adjusted his tie minutely, realizing that he was at least two inches shorter then the man before him with a measure of discomfort. Pushing aside the unease roiling in the pit of his stomach, he reached forward and took the other man's hand.
Pumping the hand of the man before him up and down in an almost mechanical gesture as he affected an air of bored disinterest, the man in the suit found himself disgusted by the wretch before him. He had heard talk about this Mr. Smythe. Apparently, he had acquired a reputation for something of a bully. It was part of the reason why the red haired man was there. Tired of having a sobbing woman on the phone, he took the matter into his own hands. It took a bit of information manipulation and a few well placed deceptions, but it was shockingly easy to maneuver himself so that he was interviewing with his friend's harasser.
Smythe considered if the man who followed him down the corridor was a potential threat to his position. Recalling the long lapse between positions that he noted on the resume, Smythe was fairly certain that the tall man would bend to his will. After all, when a man with those kinds of qualifications is applying for a bottom feeder job, he has to be desperate for work. Smythe opened the door of the conference room and gestured the man in the black suit into the room. He thought about the scars on the other man's face, wondering if the red haired man was trouble. Smythe considered the other man's lean build and decided that it had to be some childhood mishap or something equally mundane to have caused the other's distinctive features. A toothpick thin man can't be much of a threat to anyone, right?
The tall man sat down in the chair at the right of the head of the table. Smythe took the chair at the head of the table, unable to suppress the quick thrill. He wanted to be head of the department. If he pulled it off, this would be his regular seat rather then down at the other end between a wet behind the ears college kid and a woman that he dubbed an ice queen. Smythe was pretty sure that she had to be some kind of militant feminist or something because she wouldn't even give him the time of day. Caught up in his brief fantasy of putting that ice queen into a position where she had to acknowledge his superiority, Smythe handed the tall man one of the bubble questionnaires that was in the folder.
The red haired man looked down at the form and restrained the urge to yawn. He was bored of paperwork. The entire project had been far too much paper pushing so far and he was ready to move onto the next phase. Deciding that his mark was sufficiently duped, the red haired man folded hands on the table before himself. Smythe looked at him in askance.
"Mr. Nailson, do you need a pen?" he asked. Nailson resisted the urge to smile, it was too easy. Smythe pulled a pen out of his pocket and reached across the table to hand it to Nailson. The moment the two hands met, Smythe gasped. Suddenly, the world seemed to have changed. Smythe sat up abruptly with a gasp, finding himself back in his cubicle. Nailson leaned against the outside wall of the cubicle, looking down at him.
"Mr. Smythe," said Nailson in an almost pleasant sounding tone, "I trust that your nap was sufficient?" Smythe looked about himself with a sense of dread, alarmed and deeply troubled by the change of events. Smythe opened his mouth to speak when Nailson lifted a finger on the hand resting on the top of the cubicle wall. "They can't see me. They can't hear me. As far as everyone else here is concerned, I don't exist," Nailson said.
Smythe reached to pick up the phone and call security when Nailson reached over and put a hand down on the receiver. Smythe stood up and called out, "Security!" Nailson's smug smirk was infuriating. Smythe move to push Nailson aside but, Nailson moved and Smythe fell out of his chair. As he sprawled on the floor, a few heads poked out of their respective cubicles and looked at him in confusion and mild alarm. Smythe's face darkened as he spluttered, "Security!"
One of Smythe's coworkers picked up their phone and punched a few numbers. Nailson pointed towards the commotion down the corridor as two burly security guards bustled towards them. Relief was palpable in Smythe's face as he scrambled to his feet. "Security, get this man out of here," Smythe demanded, pointing towards Nailson. The security guards gave Smythe an odd look. Smythe looked over his shoulder towards Nailson but the tall red headed man had moved.
He had walked over by where a small group was gathering. Confusion and concern was painted over their faces as Smythe glared at him. "Get him out of here, call the police," Smythe demanded. His coworkers looked between themselves and moving back as he stepped forward. Nailson didn't move, rather his smirk turned into a grin. Smythe's blood seemed to be set afire as the mysterious Nailson grinned at him.
Smythe remembered a grin similar to that. He was seventeen and a girl had laughed off his advances. He was going to put her in her place when she grinned at him and said two words, the same two that Nailson said as Smythe opened and closed his hands at his side: Do it. Fury that had boiled beneath the surface at the cool looks and the icy civility of his coworkers mingled with the anger that Smythe felt at Nailson's presence. "You're as bad as that bitch," Smythe spat, closing his right hand into a ham sized fist.
He swung and Nailson moved away. Failing to meet his target, Smythe was over balanced by his swing and stumbled forward. Squawks of alarm and demands that security do something came from the people who scrambled back away from Smythe. Nailson grinned at Smythe, standing in front of security. One of them stared at Smythe utterly in shock. The older of the two, a barrel chested man with a squint in his right eye and a name badge of Boorson looked Smythe over with an expression of disgust.
"Get this smirking son of a bitch out of here," Smythe demanded, glaring at Boorson.
Nailson made a rude gesture at Smythe, who lost what shreds of his composure he had regained to swing again. Boorson brushed past Nailson and tackled Smythe. He pinned the big, roly poly man to the floor as Smythe started to shout vulgarities. All of the rage that Smythe had nursed and conserved over the years came boiling out of him. Boorson restrained Smythe as his compatriot ran for the EMS personnel that were arriving. After a brief struggle, Smythe was wrestled onto a gurney. Nailson walked along side of the gurney along with Boorson as Smythe screamed death threats at him.
Boorson and Nailson walked out of the building. They watched as the EMS personnel loaded Smythe into the ambulance. Police walked between the two men and into the building. Boorson looked over at Nailson and shook his head. "Subtle, he said," the older man said. Nailson shrugged as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. The pair walked across the blacktop as a pair of ravens pecked the ground.
As he waited for his meeting, he watched the people about him. Some of them seemed to stand out as brilliant lights of personality. Others just seemed to be bland copies of each other. He wasn't sure if he pitied the ones who lacked originality or if he was disgusted by them. This question, and curiosity as to what there was to see, kept his eyes moving over the people about him. A balding heavy set man made his way out of a cubicle at the head of the line immediately before the waiting man.
As he walked up to his two fifteen appointment, he glanced down at the folder in his hand. The resume was impressive. It was clear that the neatly dressed man was overqualified for a phone jockey job, but the economy was hard. The balding man reached up and adjusted his tie minutely, realizing that he was at least two inches shorter then the man before him with a measure of discomfort. Pushing aside the unease roiling in the pit of his stomach, he reached forward and took the other man's hand.
Pumping the hand of the man before him up and down in an almost mechanical gesture as he affected an air of bored disinterest, the man in the suit found himself disgusted by the wretch before him. He had heard talk about this Mr. Smythe. Apparently, he had acquired a reputation for something of a bully. It was part of the reason why the red haired man was there. Tired of having a sobbing woman on the phone, he took the matter into his own hands. It took a bit of information manipulation and a few well placed deceptions, but it was shockingly easy to maneuver himself so that he was interviewing with his friend's harasser.
Smythe considered if the man who followed him down the corridor was a potential threat to his position. Recalling the long lapse between positions that he noted on the resume, Smythe was fairly certain that the tall man would bend to his will. After all, when a man with those kinds of qualifications is applying for a bottom feeder job, he has to be desperate for work. Smythe opened the door of the conference room and gestured the man in the black suit into the room. He thought about the scars on the other man's face, wondering if the red haired man was trouble. Smythe considered the other man's lean build and decided that it had to be some childhood mishap or something equally mundane to have caused the other's distinctive features. A toothpick thin man can't be much of a threat to anyone, right?
The tall man sat down in the chair at the right of the head of the table. Smythe took the chair at the head of the table, unable to suppress the quick thrill. He wanted to be head of the department. If he pulled it off, this would be his regular seat rather then down at the other end between a wet behind the ears college kid and a woman that he dubbed an ice queen. Smythe was pretty sure that she had to be some kind of militant feminist or something because she wouldn't even give him the time of day. Caught up in his brief fantasy of putting that ice queen into a position where she had to acknowledge his superiority, Smythe handed the tall man one of the bubble questionnaires that was in the folder.
The red haired man looked down at the form and restrained the urge to yawn. He was bored of paperwork. The entire project had been far too much paper pushing so far and he was ready to move onto the next phase. Deciding that his mark was sufficiently duped, the red haired man folded hands on the table before himself. Smythe looked at him in askance.
"Mr. Nailson, do you need a pen?" he asked. Nailson resisted the urge to smile, it was too easy. Smythe pulled a pen out of his pocket and reached across the table to hand it to Nailson. The moment the two hands met, Smythe gasped. Suddenly, the world seemed to have changed. Smythe sat up abruptly with a gasp, finding himself back in his cubicle. Nailson leaned against the outside wall of the cubicle, looking down at him.
"Mr. Smythe," said Nailson in an almost pleasant sounding tone, "I trust that your nap was sufficient?" Smythe looked about himself with a sense of dread, alarmed and deeply troubled by the change of events. Smythe opened his mouth to speak when Nailson lifted a finger on the hand resting on the top of the cubicle wall. "They can't see me. They can't hear me. As far as everyone else here is concerned, I don't exist," Nailson said.
Smythe reached to pick up the phone and call security when Nailson reached over and put a hand down on the receiver. Smythe stood up and called out, "Security!" Nailson's smug smirk was infuriating. Smythe move to push Nailson aside but, Nailson moved and Smythe fell out of his chair. As he sprawled on the floor, a few heads poked out of their respective cubicles and looked at him in confusion and mild alarm. Smythe's face darkened as he spluttered, "Security!"
One of Smythe's coworkers picked up their phone and punched a few numbers. Nailson pointed towards the commotion down the corridor as two burly security guards bustled towards them. Relief was palpable in Smythe's face as he scrambled to his feet. "Security, get this man out of here," Smythe demanded, pointing towards Nailson. The security guards gave Smythe an odd look. Smythe looked over his shoulder towards Nailson but the tall red headed man had moved.
He had walked over by where a small group was gathering. Confusion and concern was painted over their faces as Smythe glared at him. "Get him out of here, call the police," Smythe demanded. His coworkers looked between themselves and moving back as he stepped forward. Nailson didn't move, rather his smirk turned into a grin. Smythe's blood seemed to be set afire as the mysterious Nailson grinned at him.
Smythe remembered a grin similar to that. He was seventeen and a girl had laughed off his advances. He was going to put her in her place when she grinned at him and said two words, the same two that Nailson said as Smythe opened and closed his hands at his side: Do it. Fury that had boiled beneath the surface at the cool looks and the icy civility of his coworkers mingled with the anger that Smythe felt at Nailson's presence. "You're as bad as that bitch," Smythe spat, closing his right hand into a ham sized fist.
He swung and Nailson moved away. Failing to meet his target, Smythe was over balanced by his swing and stumbled forward. Squawks of alarm and demands that security do something came from the people who scrambled back away from Smythe. Nailson grinned at Smythe, standing in front of security. One of them stared at Smythe utterly in shock. The older of the two, a barrel chested man with a squint in his right eye and a name badge of Boorson looked Smythe over with an expression of disgust.
"Get this smirking son of a bitch out of here," Smythe demanded, glaring at Boorson.
Nailson made a rude gesture at Smythe, who lost what shreds of his composure he had regained to swing again. Boorson brushed past Nailson and tackled Smythe. He pinned the big, roly poly man to the floor as Smythe started to shout vulgarities. All of the rage that Smythe had nursed and conserved over the years came boiling out of him. Boorson restrained Smythe as his compatriot ran for the EMS personnel that were arriving. After a brief struggle, Smythe was wrestled onto a gurney. Nailson walked along side of the gurney along with Boorson as Smythe screamed death threats at him.
Boorson and Nailson walked out of the building. They watched as the EMS personnel loaded Smythe into the ambulance. Police walked between the two men and into the building. Boorson looked over at Nailson and shook his head. "Subtle, he said," the older man said. Nailson shrugged as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. The pair walked across the blacktop as a pair of ravens pecked the ground.
How life killed my garden this year...
At the beginning of the month, I wound up going into the hospital due to complications with my disabilities. While I was in there, Beloved did his best to make sure that my prized plants survived the spate of ridiculously hot weather that we had. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that I had vegetable plants and a few herbs growing out on the back deck. Between the heat and the wonky weather earlier in the year, my hopes of getting a few tomatoes and some other veggies were dashed.
I got home and took one look at the back deck. Lots of dead plants. Hubby was able to keep my plants out front alive and well. I was thrilled to see how wonderfully my rose bushes are doing. I think I'd have cried if I lost yet another rose bush. I think that all the rest of my plants out side could have died and I wouldn't have cared if my roses were fine. I have a minor problem with Japanese Rose Beetles, but nothing compared to last year.
I still want to do a bit of canning this year and a few other food preserving projects. While the farmer's market is still going on, I think I'll be going over there and buying what I need. Because I'm going to be doing small batch canning, so I won't be putting up huge amounts of produce. Some of what I want to make, I can use frozen fruit for. (The difference between the strawberry freezer jam made with fresh vs frozen berries seems to be the frozen is a touch sweeter.)
I am thinking about what to do with the soil and how to store the pots for next season. I am seriously considering using the big plastic tote to store the soil. I'm torn between that or making something of a pile on the edge of the lawn near the trees. I have decided that I will be making compost but I'm unsure on the logistics of making this work. I think, however, that I'm just going to use the opportunity I have now to plan for next year.
After all, having a smaller workload with my plants means that I have more time to do the other stuff that needs done around here to get ready for autumn.
I got home and took one look at the back deck. Lots of dead plants. Hubby was able to keep my plants out front alive and well. I was thrilled to see how wonderfully my rose bushes are doing. I think I'd have cried if I lost yet another rose bush. I think that all the rest of my plants out side could have died and I wouldn't have cared if my roses were fine. I have a minor problem with Japanese Rose Beetles, but nothing compared to last year.
I still want to do a bit of canning this year and a few other food preserving projects. While the farmer's market is still going on, I think I'll be going over there and buying what I need. Because I'm going to be doing small batch canning, so I won't be putting up huge amounts of produce. Some of what I want to make, I can use frozen fruit for. (The difference between the strawberry freezer jam made with fresh vs frozen berries seems to be the frozen is a touch sweeter.)
I am thinking about what to do with the soil and how to store the pots for next season. I am seriously considering using the big plastic tote to store the soil. I'm torn between that or making something of a pile on the edge of the lawn near the trees. I have decided that I will be making compost but I'm unsure on the logistics of making this work. I think, however, that I'm just going to use the opportunity I have now to plan for next year.
After all, having a smaller workload with my plants means that I have more time to do the other stuff that needs done around here to get ready for autumn.
Monday, July 08, 2013
Mostly clean house, not bad for a monday.
The boys have been busy today. Snuggle Bug went off to preschool for the first day of summer session. He came home with what appears to be chocolate stains on the front of his outfit. I'm guessing this means that they had chocolate milk at lunch time, but I'm not sure. Cuddle Bear and I went for a walk to check out the Summer Program at Vitale Park. When we got there, however, we discovered that today was the day that the Summer Rec. kids had a program and it wasn't open to the public. We were assured, however, that tomorrow is open to the general public.
They said something about doing a feature on fish tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that Cuddle Bear will enjoy it. He is very interested in our betta fish, named Swimmers. The plan is that we go over there for their morning program, Cuddle Bear gets some socialization time with his peers, and then we head home to do some academic work.
Today, we focused on hand writing skills and fine motor skills. We then went out for another walk. The plan was to stop briefly at his best friend's house to visit before stopping for a pair of grilled cheese sandwiches at Minnehan's. It's funny, but the morning walk looked like rain so we brought an umbrella. The afternoon walk, however, looked like clear skies. So we left the umbrella home.
Shortly after we reached our friends' house, the skies opened up and it poured. Rather then walking the additional half mile, we just went home. We were drenched by the time we got home. So, we changed into dry clothes. Then I whipped together a lunch of snack foods. Cuddle Bear was especially pleased with the pretzels. Aldi has these honey-wheat twists that don't have a lot of salt. Pretty much the whole family loves them.
The last bucket of them that I got lasted us just over a week. After lunch, I started to wash up dishes when Cuddle Bear insisted that he had to help. As a result, he washed 90% of the dishes that needed done. He did a pretty good job, too. When it came to picking up the living room, however, he wasn't interested at all in helping with that. Once I finish this entry, I'm going to finish up the last little bit of work for that task. Then I'm going to give Cuddle Bear the electric sweeper and Snuggle Bug the duster. I will set them loose upon the room. As they're doing that, I'm going to water plants.
This evening, I'm going to try to get out and actually get a bit of serious exercise in. My approximate mile of walking was good for me, but I want to try to get a little running in. I've been thinking about it and giving up on the 5K really doesn't sound right to me. So, I am going to make time to run after Beloved gets home from work. If I run a bit everyday, that should have me up to running three miles by the end of September, right?
I am probably going to wind up wearing the pink shorts that I feel make my legs look awful. But, the focus is not how my legs look, but what I am doing with them, right? Mood wise, I'm in something of a mixed state. This has me not able to sit still for very long. (Hence why I've been working on catching up on my cleaning.) This is an improvement over the weekend and a few days before, where I was feeling somewhat depressed and anxious.
Dinner tonight is hamburgers. I'm also going to be giving the kids a bit of store made sauerkraut on the side with some chips. We'll see how they take to the sauerkraut with apples. They may like it, or they may turn their noses up at it.
They said something about doing a feature on fish tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that Cuddle Bear will enjoy it. He is very interested in our betta fish, named Swimmers. The plan is that we go over there for their morning program, Cuddle Bear gets some socialization time with his peers, and then we head home to do some academic work.
Today, we focused on hand writing skills and fine motor skills. We then went out for another walk. The plan was to stop briefly at his best friend's house to visit before stopping for a pair of grilled cheese sandwiches at Minnehan's. It's funny, but the morning walk looked like rain so we brought an umbrella. The afternoon walk, however, looked like clear skies. So we left the umbrella home.
Shortly after we reached our friends' house, the skies opened up and it poured. Rather then walking the additional half mile, we just went home. We were drenched by the time we got home. So, we changed into dry clothes. Then I whipped together a lunch of snack foods. Cuddle Bear was especially pleased with the pretzels. Aldi has these honey-wheat twists that don't have a lot of salt. Pretty much the whole family loves them.
The last bucket of them that I got lasted us just over a week. After lunch, I started to wash up dishes when Cuddle Bear insisted that he had to help. As a result, he washed 90% of the dishes that needed done. He did a pretty good job, too. When it came to picking up the living room, however, he wasn't interested at all in helping with that. Once I finish this entry, I'm going to finish up the last little bit of work for that task. Then I'm going to give Cuddle Bear the electric sweeper and Snuggle Bug the duster. I will set them loose upon the room. As they're doing that, I'm going to water plants.
This evening, I'm going to try to get out and actually get a bit of serious exercise in. My approximate mile of walking was good for me, but I want to try to get a little running in. I've been thinking about it and giving up on the 5K really doesn't sound right to me. So, I am going to make time to run after Beloved gets home from work. If I run a bit everyday, that should have me up to running three miles by the end of September, right?
I am probably going to wind up wearing the pink shorts that I feel make my legs look awful. But, the focus is not how my legs look, but what I am doing with them, right? Mood wise, I'm in something of a mixed state. This has me not able to sit still for very long. (Hence why I've been working on catching up on my cleaning.) This is an improvement over the weekend and a few days before, where I was feeling somewhat depressed and anxious.
Dinner tonight is hamburgers. I'm also going to be giving the kids a bit of store made sauerkraut on the side with some chips. We'll see how they take to the sauerkraut with apples. They may like it, or they may turn their noses up at it.
Friday, July 05, 2013
Tour De Fleece status: bust.
I was hoping to do a lot of spinning for TdF this year. The humidity has been so horrid, however, that fiber is felting in my hands before I can do anything with it. I also have discovered that the bag of fleece that I thought I could just start spinning off of actually needs carded first. And it is a LOT of fleece. I think I'm going to have to resign myself to basically not participating in TdF this year. I'm pretty disappointed, but life happens.
Summer vacation, wheee!
So, the kids started their summer vacation approximately two weeks ago. It has been utter chaos around here. Between their being wired over the summer weather and a lack of previous routine and my developing a sinus infection due to my allergies, it was more then a little bit crazy here. Beloved is a wonderful, wonderful man who does amazing things to help me keep my head wrapped together properly.
I think the most fantastic thing is that as soon as he gets in the door, he takes over dealing with the kids. It was really distressing to realize earlier this week that I can't handle them when they're just going over the top crazy. I am still adjusting to the fact that my psychological issues have such a large impact on my life, but this was just like getting kicked in the teeth.
Then yesterday, Snuggle Bug decided to be an absolute hellion to his aunt (who was planning on watching them for a few days for us) so we had to go pick the kids up. I had really hoped that he was going to behave for her. It had been a case where he had decided that he was comfortable enough to start causing trouble. And then he didn't stop. I honestly have no idea what we're going to do with him.
Thankfully, summer session of preschool starts on Monday. I just have run out of ideas for what to do with him when he misbehaves. I'm going to ask the preschool what works for them, but I suspect that Snuggle Bug doesn't act up like this there. I try putting him in timeout, he screams and flails. If I am going to make him stay in timeout, I have to restrain him in my lap. Then he throws his head back and kicks, basically fighting like a wildcat. Spankings don't seem to have any effect on him, nor does yelling. Taking toys away doesn't phase him and sending him to bed just doesn't seem to have an effect either.
He's turning four this summer. I wish ... I wish I could figure out what makes this boy tick. This way we didn't have all the tears and screaming. This way he would listen more. As it stands, he has no real safety awareness and a huge dose of self willed motion. I find myself deeply concerned and uneasy.
I think the most fantastic thing is that as soon as he gets in the door, he takes over dealing with the kids. It was really distressing to realize earlier this week that I can't handle them when they're just going over the top crazy. I am still adjusting to the fact that my psychological issues have such a large impact on my life, but this was just like getting kicked in the teeth.
Then yesterday, Snuggle Bug decided to be an absolute hellion to his aunt (who was planning on watching them for a few days for us) so we had to go pick the kids up. I had really hoped that he was going to behave for her. It had been a case where he had decided that he was comfortable enough to start causing trouble. And then he didn't stop. I honestly have no idea what we're going to do with him.
Thankfully, summer session of preschool starts on Monday. I just have run out of ideas for what to do with him when he misbehaves. I'm going to ask the preschool what works for them, but I suspect that Snuggle Bug doesn't act up like this there. I try putting him in timeout, he screams and flails. If I am going to make him stay in timeout, I have to restrain him in my lap. Then he throws his head back and kicks, basically fighting like a wildcat. Spankings don't seem to have any effect on him, nor does yelling. Taking toys away doesn't phase him and sending him to bed just doesn't seem to have an effect either.
He's turning four this summer. I wish ... I wish I could figure out what makes this boy tick. This way we didn't have all the tears and screaming. This way he would listen more. As it stands, he has no real safety awareness and a huge dose of self willed motion. I find myself deeply concerned and uneasy.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Book of poems in the works...
I found my poetry journals. I'm combing through them and selecting poems to publish. Some of them are atrociously bad. Some of them are pretty good. And then others pull at my heartstrings. This one I wrote for Stargazer, though I never dared to reveal that to her whilst she was amongst us. I hope that where ever she is, that she forgives my lack of courage.
~*~*~*~*~
Venusian Muse
Oh sweet slayer of my soul
Thine eyes are arrows
Whose wounds a noble heart hath lain low
Crimson tears mix with pining sighs
For I suffer sweet sorrows
In want of thy tender grace
That which angels in heaven dare not know
By god's own hand
Wert thou formed
With beauty to make my heart burn as a brand
And a spirit more innocent and sweet then
a babe newly born
My cruel mistress
Thy hidden, chaste eye wounds me
As my weak words bear witness
~*~*~*~*~
Venusian Muse
Oh sweet slayer of my soul
Thine eyes are arrows
Whose wounds a noble heart hath lain low
Crimson tears mix with pining sighs
For I suffer sweet sorrows
In want of thy tender grace
That which angels in heaven dare not know
By god's own hand
Wert thou formed
With beauty to make my heart burn as a brand
And a spirit more innocent and sweet then
a babe newly born
My cruel mistress
Thy hidden, chaste eye wounds me
As my weak words bear witness
Back to work!
[insert sound of whip crack here]
The long weekend was busy. I had a wonderful time spending time just hanging out with my husband and the kids. Now I have writing to catch up on before the kids get home from school and housework to do. I also have the powerful urge to completely clear off and reorganize my altar. Meh, random stuff to do.
The long weekend was busy. I had a wonderful time spending time just hanging out with my husband and the kids. Now I have writing to catch up on before the kids get home from school and housework to do. I also have the powerful urge to completely clear off and reorganize my altar. Meh, random stuff to do.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Ramblings.
For some incomprehensible reason, I suddenly feel exhausted. I don't know if it's just the weather affecting me or what. I do know that I don't want to go lay down and take a nap right now. I feel like I have so much stuff I should be doing right now. I finally have my writing schedule hammered out.
Monday: Work on my Fantasy Novel
Tuesday: Work on my Veiled Witch blog
Wednesday: Work on stuff for Anam Cara blog
Thursday: Work on my Dream Interpretation manuscript
Friday: Work on my memoirs
Saturday & Sunday: Work on my physics theories
At the same time, I have my daily writing that I work on too. Everyday, I write in my gratitude journal. I also make sure to write three pages in my daily journal. I have an additional project that I am working on for Beloved that I work on everyday as well.
Monday: Work on my Fantasy Novel
Tuesday: Work on my Veiled Witch blog
Wednesday: Work on stuff for Anam Cara blog
Thursday: Work on my Dream Interpretation manuscript
Friday: Work on my memoirs
Saturday & Sunday: Work on my physics theories
At the same time, I have my daily writing that I work on too. Everyday, I write in my gratitude journal. I also make sure to write three pages in my daily journal. I have an additional project that I am working on for Beloved that I work on everyday as well.
Monday, May 06, 2013
Dreaming of a house...
I've made a decision today. I am not going to look longingly at houses anymore. It is making me feel like where I live now is a mistake. I refuse to do that to myself. If we get a house someday, it will be nice. Until then, I am going to make the best of where we live now and be happy here. I'm no longer looking over the proverbial fence at somebody else's grass.
I may not have a traditional in the ground garden, but I do have a garden. I have my rose bush. I am growing vegetables and flowers. I will be growing some herbs again. This may not be the garden that I grew up with, but it is *MY* garden and that is all that matters.
My home is just the size for what we need right now. I am going to continue to get rid of and donate things that are excess and not of sentimental value. I am going to continue to pare back the random crap that I have kicking around until I have reached the core of what is important. I am going to be happy here.
It is not a matter of 'bloom where you're planted' as much as when we moved in I was excited about the potential for this place. As we moved our things in, the apparent space available diminished. Then the kids' toys piled up and apparent space diminished again. This is not a small apartment.
The one downstairs is. It is the size of my living room, the boy's room, and half of the kitchen. I am going to make the best of what space we have and what blessings we have here. I am going to make a point of being thankful for what is here. And I am going to aggressively pursue getting the best out of what we have here.
I'm not going to worry about a house. We can't afford one right now. And that's ok. More space would turn into more stuff and that would become more anxiety. I am not going to do that to myself.
I may not have a traditional in the ground garden, but I do have a garden. I have my rose bush. I am growing vegetables and flowers. I will be growing some herbs again. This may not be the garden that I grew up with, but it is *MY* garden and that is all that matters.
My home is just the size for what we need right now. I am going to continue to get rid of and donate things that are excess and not of sentimental value. I am going to continue to pare back the random crap that I have kicking around until I have reached the core of what is important. I am going to be happy here.
It is not a matter of 'bloom where you're planted' as much as when we moved in I was excited about the potential for this place. As we moved our things in, the apparent space available diminished. Then the kids' toys piled up and apparent space diminished again. This is not a small apartment.
The one downstairs is. It is the size of my living room, the boy's room, and half of the kitchen. I am going to make the best of what space we have and what blessings we have here. I am going to make a point of being thankful for what is here. And I am going to aggressively pursue getting the best out of what we have here.
I'm not going to worry about a house. We can't afford one right now. And that's ok. More space would turn into more stuff and that would become more anxiety. I am not going to do that to myself.
Friday, May 03, 2013
Crochet Socks, FTW!
I used the first pattern listed to make the socks I pictured below. When I do another pair for myself, I am thinking about trying out the second pattern. I'm not entirely decided. The first one is pretty simple and really easy to tailor to your foot size. I'm not so sure about the second.
http://graftonfibers.com/toeupsocks.PDF
http://graftonfibers.com/toeupsocks.PDF
I made the socks using the cotton candy print from Lion Brand's line Sock Ease.
Art Show Pictures!
As I promised, here are the pictures from the art show opening this week. It will be going around the county to different locations over the course of the month. If you want to know the locations, drop a comment in the box. I recognize that most of my readers are outside of the Livingston County, NY area so I have decided not to spam them with the details of where this is going on.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Productive day!
So far today, I have folded and put away four loads of laundry. I have sorted out all the clothes that the boys have out grown and put them aside to go to Goodwill. I have gotten out their outfits for tomorrow and their pajamas for tonight. (It's bath night, so things are probably going to get a bit wacky this evening.) I had a quick visit from my Auntie Adrian and my paternal Grandmother.
I have gotten a lot of yard work done also. I repotted some paperwhites. I'm hoping that they'll perk up and put out flowers now that they're in full sun. If not, there's always next year. I put up the hook for hanging plants out on the front porch. I have gotten the first layer of material down for the flowerbed that I am making and in doing so, tossed my used soil from last year. I also have potted my basil and oregano plants. I then pulled a bunch of weeds and a great deal of dead wood out of the edges of the back yard. I am going to work to push back the brush to the property edges.
There is a spot where previous folk had dumped things. I am going to turn that area into a composting heap. Right now, there is just a big ol' pile of sticks there. I plan on taking some of those sticks and using them to make a partition under the deck so that one section can be for yard care tools and the other for more social uses. I also made another bird feeder. I filled up both the feeders and hung the second one up in a tree.
I made a point of putting twigs into the feeders so that the birds have a place to perch when they use them. I think that will make them more attractive to the birds. I am seriously considering putting a few birdhouses on stakes in the flower bed. I think it would be charming and help make the spot have more vertical appeal.
I have gotten a lot of yard work done also. I repotted some paperwhites. I'm hoping that they'll perk up and put out flowers now that they're in full sun. If not, there's always next year. I put up the hook for hanging plants out on the front porch. I have gotten the first layer of material down for the flowerbed that I am making and in doing so, tossed my used soil from last year. I also have potted my basil and oregano plants. I then pulled a bunch of weeds and a great deal of dead wood out of the edges of the back yard. I am going to work to push back the brush to the property edges.
There is a spot where previous folk had dumped things. I am going to turn that area into a composting heap. Right now, there is just a big ol' pile of sticks there. I plan on taking some of those sticks and using them to make a partition under the deck so that one section can be for yard care tools and the other for more social uses. I also made another bird feeder. I filled up both the feeders and hung the second one up in a tree.
I made a point of putting twigs into the feeders so that the birds have a place to perch when they use them. I think that will make them more attractive to the birds. I am seriously considering putting a few birdhouses on stakes in the flower bed. I think it would be charming and help make the spot have more vertical appeal.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Ugh, it's Monday.
It was a very long Monday. I didn't get the devotional prayer time that I was hoping for. At the same time, however, I did get a 2 1/2 mi walk despite the drizzly weather. The trees are beginning to get a blush of green to them. The maple out front is in bloom and wafting pollen everywhere. As such, Snuggle Bug and I have been having fun with allergies. I'm pretty sure that as the season progresses, this will just become more intense.
After a conversation with Beloved, I think we finally have hammered out what we're going to be doing for food. I don't think OAMC is going to be our silver bullet. It works great for some folks, but between my small freezer and what our cooking choices are, I have to stick with predominantly fresh materials.
Our meals (in not particular order)
I am thinking about how to get more vegetables and fruit into the diet. I'm pretty sure that my stomach discomfort earlier today was due to two things. One, the fast food that I ate over the weekend. Two, my not having enough fiber in my diet. I figure if Momma is having tummy issues because of this, it's quite likely that the whole household is dealing with a manifestation of this on some level.
My success today was getting the kids to eat fruit laden crisps (envision smushed fruit between crackers) with dinner. I know that those went over well because Snuggle Bug was carrying his around the house as he chewed on it. And Cuddle Bear polished his off right after he finished his sandwich tonight. I think it is going to take more efforts like that to get them to eat healthier. 3 to 5 servings of fruits and vegetables is the goal. In eating those three crisps, they got three servings of fruit. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next.
After a conversation with Beloved, I think we finally have hammered out what we're going to be doing for food. I don't think OAMC is going to be our silver bullet. It works great for some folks, but between my small freezer and what our cooking choices are, I have to stick with predominantly fresh materials.
Our meals (in not particular order)
- Hamburgers & salad (Mon)
- Pizza (Fri)
- Pasta Bake / Spaghetti (Tues)
- Pasta salad (wed)
- Pot roast, potatoes, hot veggie (thurs)
- Soup & sandwiches (sat)
- Momma's choice (sun)
I am thinking about how to get more vegetables and fruit into the diet. I'm pretty sure that my stomach discomfort earlier today was due to two things. One, the fast food that I ate over the weekend. Two, my not having enough fiber in my diet. I figure if Momma is having tummy issues because of this, it's quite likely that the whole household is dealing with a manifestation of this on some level.
My success today was getting the kids to eat fruit laden crisps (envision smushed fruit between crackers) with dinner. I know that those went over well because Snuggle Bug was carrying his around the house as he chewed on it. And Cuddle Bear polished his off right after he finished his sandwich tonight. I think it is going to take more efforts like that to get them to eat healthier. 3 to 5 servings of fruits and vegetables is the goal. In eating those three crisps, they got three servings of fruit. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Recycling teapots!
So, I have one tea pot that I turned into a planter. In the pot, I have cuttings from the white wandering jew that I have trying to conquer the world. The boys (namely Snuggle Bug) have kept pulling out the bit that I had put down the spout. I'm going to try Supermomnocape's trick of putting some soil down the spout and putting my cutting in that way.
I have another tea pot that I am going to plant with a combination of wandering jew and ivy. The planters are probably going to sit out in the project room/office for hubby to keep them safe from small hands. I have been flirting with the idea of acquiring another to make into a planter with the geranium that desperately needs a new pot into. It is not so much a matter of the pot itself is the problem or that the plant is growing too big for it.
The problem with the geranium is that my youngest child finds the leaves fascinating and loves to pull them off. He likes the tactile sensation of the leaves pulling off and the fact that his hands smell different after doing so. This makes me concerned for my herbs this year. I'm pretty sure that he will be delighted to decimate my mint. (And the typo just a moment a go was 'mind' not 'mint.' LOL)
One of the planters is going to go to my MiL. The other is going to be a joint gift to my Mom and my paternal Grandmother. If I do a third planter, I'll be keeping it for myself to add a touch of whimsy to my gardening efforts on the back deck. I have been eying the glazed giant sized tea cup planters that Walmart has. I'm seriously thinking about getting a pair to grow some miniature tea roses in.
If I am going to do that, I will most definitely be putting them in that bed that I am going to be doing this year. I will make a point of putting flowers in them that will be showy and exciting for the children. And making the bed look like a tea party for giants. Because whimsy is always a great thing in gardening.
I have another tea pot that I am going to plant with a combination of wandering jew and ivy. The planters are probably going to sit out in the project room/office for hubby to keep them safe from small hands. I have been flirting with the idea of acquiring another to make into a planter with the geranium that desperately needs a new pot into. It is not so much a matter of the pot itself is the problem or that the plant is growing too big for it.
The problem with the geranium is that my youngest child finds the leaves fascinating and loves to pull them off. He likes the tactile sensation of the leaves pulling off and the fact that his hands smell different after doing so. This makes me concerned for my herbs this year. I'm pretty sure that he will be delighted to decimate my mint. (And the typo just a moment a go was 'mind' not 'mint.' LOL)
One of the planters is going to go to my MiL. The other is going to be a joint gift to my Mom and my paternal Grandmother. If I do a third planter, I'll be keeping it for myself to add a touch of whimsy to my gardening efforts on the back deck. I have been eying the glazed giant sized tea cup planters that Walmart has. I'm seriously thinking about getting a pair to grow some miniature tea roses in.
If I am going to do that, I will most definitely be putting them in that bed that I am going to be doing this year. I will make a point of putting flowers in them that will be showy and exciting for the children. And making the bed look like a tea party for giants. Because whimsy is always a great thing in gardening.
Junk food for lunch, because I can!
Today started off uncomfortable because of my knees. I took something for it, but they're still just terribly painful. It's not as bad as it was the first thing this morning, which I am thankful for. I really, REALLY hate the fact that I have arthritic knees. At the same time, I am really, REALLY thankful for the fact that I now know why my knees hurt and give me problems. I have no words for how reassuring it is to know that it's not something that is 'just in your head' as I was told in the past.
I am being bad and having junk food for lunch. I will admit, my version of junk food doesn't entirely match up with other people's vision of it. The things that came closest to that are the sweettart jelly beans (I have a new candy love!) and the potato chips. I've also been indulging in pickles and my sauerkraut. So, a lot of salt and a lot of sugar. Oh, and let us not forget my gummy bear addiction!
I'm pretty sure that this isn't a warning sign of a migraine but just a random whim. In the event that this is my body gearing up for a migraine, I've already got my battle plans for this afternoon figured out. We're going to be reading books and playing with quiet toys (trains, cars, etc.) rather then having the boys howling around the house with their guitars at the top of their lungs.
According to my menu, dinner tonight is slated to be tacos. Since I used a crock pot liner yesterday, I can just throw the meat into the crock pot and let it cook down. I'm considering using another crock pot liner because it makes one less thing to wash. I'm going to be using a version of this recipe for dinner tonight. I'm going to use my handy dandy jar of chili powder, rather then mixing up the spices. (Because why do more work when I don't have to, am I right?)
We're low on soft taco shells, but I think Beloved will forgive me that. We've got some large tortillas in the freezer that I can just warm up. I'm looking forward to trying my fermented salsa today. It looks really tasty. It's a very basic, very mild salsa. I'm pretty sure that even the kids will eat it. I'm going to have some of the hard shells for my tacos and I am going to try giving the boys some for their dinner tonight.
They looked at the soft tacos with suspicion the last few times I tried serving them. I'm hoping that maybe the hard tacos will be more to their liking. It may just be that they're not interested in tacos.
I am being bad and having junk food for lunch. I will admit, my version of junk food doesn't entirely match up with other people's vision of it. The things that came closest to that are the sweettart jelly beans (I have a new candy love!) and the potato chips. I've also been indulging in pickles and my sauerkraut. So, a lot of salt and a lot of sugar. Oh, and let us not forget my gummy bear addiction!
I'm pretty sure that this isn't a warning sign of a migraine but just a random whim. In the event that this is my body gearing up for a migraine, I've already got my battle plans for this afternoon figured out. We're going to be reading books and playing with quiet toys (trains, cars, etc.) rather then having the boys howling around the house with their guitars at the top of their lungs.
According to my menu, dinner tonight is slated to be tacos. Since I used a crock pot liner yesterday, I can just throw the meat into the crock pot and let it cook down. I'm considering using another crock pot liner because it makes one less thing to wash. I'm going to be using a version of this recipe for dinner tonight. I'm going to use my handy dandy jar of chili powder, rather then mixing up the spices. (Because why do more work when I don't have to, am I right?)
We're low on soft taco shells, but I think Beloved will forgive me that. We've got some large tortillas in the freezer that I can just warm up. I'm looking forward to trying my fermented salsa today. It looks really tasty. It's a very basic, very mild salsa. I'm pretty sure that even the kids will eat it. I'm going to have some of the hard shells for my tacos and I am going to try giving the boys some for their dinner tonight.
They looked at the soft tacos with suspicion the last few times I tried serving them. I'm hoping that maybe the hard tacos will be more to their liking. It may just be that they're not interested in tacos.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Productive day, yay!
I have dinner going in the crock pot. I'm pretty sure that the boys will be delighted with pasta bake, even if it isn't out of the oven. I am going to be using it later this week to whip up taco meat. My goal is to use the crock pot for at least one meal a week. Since the kids have decided they love pasta bake, I am going to have a fairly easy time with that, I think.
I purchased a package of crock pot liners a little while back. I have to say, they are quite handy. At the same time, I feel that I need to come up with something that is more eco-friendly then the plastic bags. My crock pots both have enough texture to the inside that just spraying them with some oil isn't going to cut it. I am sure that as I scope out the different places I can find tips and tricks for how to get the most out of my crock pot, I'll stumble on to something.
I took three garbage bags of old clothes and toys that the kids no longer play with out to the thrift store. I confess, I was a little bit bad and I picked up a scarf, a wooden crate (tiny sized), and a tea pot. The tea pot that Heartfullofstars gave me a little while back was missing a top. It is a beautiful tea pot, but it just wasn't working right for me. Then, as I was window shopping through the aisles, I stumbled onto the PERFECT tea pot. It was just the right size, it looked beautiful, and it had the most important element, a lid. I am still going to use the tea pot that Heartfullofstars gave me.
Just as I took the tea pot that Snuggle Bug broke and I turned it into a planter, I am going to do the same with this one. I have a few plants that are trying to conquer the world. Taking some cuttings and rooting them should be incredibly easy. And since they're plants that like to be damp, the lack of drainage won't be a problem with this potting arrangement.
I purchased a package of crock pot liners a little while back. I have to say, they are quite handy. At the same time, I feel that I need to come up with something that is more eco-friendly then the plastic bags. My crock pots both have enough texture to the inside that just spraying them with some oil isn't going to cut it. I am sure that as I scope out the different places I can find tips and tricks for how to get the most out of my crock pot, I'll stumble on to something.
I took three garbage bags of old clothes and toys that the kids no longer play with out to the thrift store. I confess, I was a little bit bad and I picked up a scarf, a wooden crate (tiny sized), and a tea pot. The tea pot that Heartfullofstars gave me a little while back was missing a top. It is a beautiful tea pot, but it just wasn't working right for me. Then, as I was window shopping through the aisles, I stumbled onto the PERFECT tea pot. It was just the right size, it looked beautiful, and it had the most important element, a lid. I am still going to use the tea pot that Heartfullofstars gave me.
Just as I took the tea pot that Snuggle Bug broke and I turned it into a planter, I am going to do the same with this one. I have a few plants that are trying to conquer the world. Taking some cuttings and rooting them should be incredibly easy. And since they're plants that like to be damp, the lack of drainage won't be a problem with this potting arrangement.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Knitting for fun and profit!
I've cast on and got a few inches knit of a shawl. I'm using a really basic pattern. It's just knitting a triangle. I'm using size 10 needles. My yarn is the Peaches n' Cream Ivy League color way. I'm optimistic that the two large balls that I have will be enough for this project. If not, I am fairly sure that more of this colorway will be easily available.
I've decided to take a break from my crochet squares for this month. I have been working on my crochet socks and I just started this knitting project. My goal is to get the shawl finished by the end of the season. I keep looking at my pile of squares and feel a little guilty for not seaming them together. I'll probably work on that next week. I really want to finish my socks before it's too warm for me to be wearing them. They're wool done in the bright pink colorway that Lion Brand calls 'cotton candy'.
My efforts with my fermented pickles have yielded results a little faster then I had expected. Snuggle Bug tried one of the carrot pickles and declared them to be yummy. I think I may have somebody to share my delight in these pickles with. :) The salsa is beginning to fizz a bit. I'm hopeful that it will prove especially tasty. Like a good witchy poo, I am writing down the recipes. I figure after a year of experimenting and such, I should have enough heritage recipes and techniques to put together a small cookbook.
I've decided to take a break from my crochet squares for this month. I have been working on my crochet socks and I just started this knitting project. My goal is to get the shawl finished by the end of the season. I keep looking at my pile of squares and feel a little guilty for not seaming them together. I'll probably work on that next week. I really want to finish my socks before it's too warm for me to be wearing them. They're wool done in the bright pink colorway that Lion Brand calls 'cotton candy'.
My efforts with my fermented pickles have yielded results a little faster then I had expected. Snuggle Bug tried one of the carrot pickles and declared them to be yummy. I think I may have somebody to share my delight in these pickles with. :) The salsa is beginning to fizz a bit. I'm hopeful that it will prove especially tasty. Like a good witchy poo, I am writing down the recipes. I figure after a year of experimenting and such, I should have enough heritage recipes and techniques to put together a small cookbook.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Ginger, clove, and carrots!
I have a recipe that I was encouraged to try from some folks that I chat with via Facebook. It is another fermented pickle recipe. I had a bit of ginger that originally I was going to use to make a 'ginger bug' and then attempt a fermented beverage with it. When Beloved voiced is disagreement with my taking up brewing at this time, I pounced on the next thing I was planning on doing with ginger - these carrot pickles.
I guess it was about two months ago that I stumbled on to the Vlasic Farmer's Garden pickles. Now, I'm not usually one to bandy about name brand products. I must confess, when I picked up these new pickles it was expecting an indifferent to disappointed response. The cucumbers that were in the batch were like normal pickles. Then I got to the other vegetables and made an extraordinary discovery. I LOVE pickled carrots.
Last year, when I made the fermented pickles, I was quite delighted with how they came out. I remembered how easy they were to make and I decided that I had to try out making some fermented pickled carrots. Upon reading some of the directions that folks have shared for how to make 'em, I took out my supplies and whipped this together. The carrots have only just begun their fermenting period. The directions that I have been reading says that at their earliest they'll be ready in three days. I am eagerly awaiting when they are ready.
In the meantime, I have my sauerkraut to enjoy. If I can find where I put the other quart jar, I am going to whip up a batch of fermented salsa. I'll probably inoculate the salsa like I did the carrots, with a tablespoon of the liquid from the sauerkraut. It has the lactobacillus culture that I want in my pickles. I've read about other people having success in getting their ferments going well based off of an inoculation from another ferment, so I'm hopeful that this one will be successful as well.
Here's the recipe (approximately).
1 1/2 in ginger, cut into slices
5 medium carrots, cut into slices
1 tsp whole clove
Combine all the above into a quart sized jar. Add 2 tbsp salt (or a bit of the liquid from another fermented pickle you've got going). Let it sit at room temperature, covered with a bit of cheesecloth for 3 days. Weigh your carrots down to keep them from acquiring mold.
I'll post my results from this 'experiment' in a few days. I expect it to be delicious.
I guess it was about two months ago that I stumbled on to the Vlasic Farmer's Garden pickles. Now, I'm not usually one to bandy about name brand products. I must confess, when I picked up these new pickles it was expecting an indifferent to disappointed response. The cucumbers that were in the batch were like normal pickles. Then I got to the other vegetables and made an extraordinary discovery. I LOVE pickled carrots.
Last year, when I made the fermented pickles, I was quite delighted with how they came out. I remembered how easy they were to make and I decided that I had to try out making some fermented pickled carrots. Upon reading some of the directions that folks have shared for how to make 'em, I took out my supplies and whipped this together. The carrots have only just begun their fermenting period. The directions that I have been reading says that at their earliest they'll be ready in three days. I am eagerly awaiting when they are ready.
In the meantime, I have my sauerkraut to enjoy. If I can find where I put the other quart jar, I am going to whip up a batch of fermented salsa. I'll probably inoculate the salsa like I did the carrots, with a tablespoon of the liquid from the sauerkraut. It has the lactobacillus culture that I want in my pickles. I've read about other people having success in getting their ferments going well based off of an inoculation from another ferment, so I'm hopeful that this one will be successful as well.
Here's the recipe (approximately).
1 1/2 in ginger, cut into slices
5 medium carrots, cut into slices
1 tsp whole clove
Combine all the above into a quart sized jar. Add 2 tbsp salt (or a bit of the liquid from another fermented pickle you've got going). Let it sit at room temperature, covered with a bit of cheesecloth for 3 days. Weigh your carrots down to keep them from acquiring mold.
I'll post my results from this 'experiment' in a few days. I expect it to be delicious.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Doing some housekeeping.
I am going through stuff I have posted on Triond to pull the material relating to The Red Chair. This is in preparation for getting the manuscript ready to send off to the editor. The project has been languishing for almost a year because I hit a block. Now that the block is cleared, I think I can have it completed in a few weeks.
I'm actually taking a break from working on it right now to eat lunch. A cup of tea and some ramen noodles makes up my lunch today. Tonight was supposed to be pizza night but I have discovered that we're missing some of the ingredients that I usually use for making the pizza. So, we're going to be having tacos, which was originally on the menu for yesterday but it got skipped in favor of taking the kids out for ice cream. Yes, I spoiled my boys and on the day that it was 75 in April, we had ice cream for dinner. And you know what, it was glorious!
I would have preferred to do home made salsa for dinner tonight but I don't have what I need for that either. So, it is a good thing that I bought jarred salsa when I got the taco fixings last week. I am pretty sure that Beloved won't miss the lettuce that I usually put in it. I completely forgot to get it when I was buying groceries. Some how I remembered the sour cream but forgot the lettuce.
I have started another batch of sauerkraut. This time it is using red cabbage. I know that the last batch was delicious. I'm hopeful that this one will be equally awesome. As I have been looking at recipes for different kinds of fermented pickles, I am finding myself strongly tempted to make ginger carrots. I accidentally discovered that I really enjoy pickled carrots. Since I like my homemade pickles, I am going to give making the carrots a try next week.
Beloved has quite firmly stated that he doesn't want me to take up brewing. To be honest, he has nothing but good reasons for his objections. With the possibility of the bottles exploding and making a disaster of the apartment, I can't exactly argue against his logic. I am seriously contemplating asking my friends who do brewing to make up a bottle of something special for me in return for some pickles and jam. I think it would only be fair to trade home made goodness for home made goodness.
I am not entirely pleased how things turned out with my second attempt at sourdough. That, however, was because of mistakes I made in how I was handling the starter. I got one good loaf of bread out of it. And then I forgot about the starter and it went bad on me. I think I need a better way to contain the starter then just a bowl. I am going to look into my options, but the prospect of using one of the wide mouth canning jars that I have kicking around is looking better by the minute.
I am planning to get an iced tea jug with a spout when those things go on clearance. I'm probably going to hunt down one of the plastic ones. I drink a lot of iced tea during the warmer seasons. Rather then dealing with a milk jug, I'm thinking that if I have one of those gallon jugs with a spigot that it will be easier to fill and tend and such. I have been looking at various flavored water recipes floating around on the internet. (See what I did there? LOL) While I am intrigued by them, I can't exactly justify buying a whole watermelon for that (for example). I am thinking that if I do a little planning, I can possibly get stuff that would do double duty.
But that's what's rambling around through my mind right now. Now I must gather up the pieces that I will be submitting for the art show and make myself another cup of tea. Then it's back to writing I go!
I'm actually taking a break from working on it right now to eat lunch. A cup of tea and some ramen noodles makes up my lunch today. Tonight was supposed to be pizza night but I have discovered that we're missing some of the ingredients that I usually use for making the pizza. So, we're going to be having tacos, which was originally on the menu for yesterday but it got skipped in favor of taking the kids out for ice cream. Yes, I spoiled my boys and on the day that it was 75 in April, we had ice cream for dinner. And you know what, it was glorious!
I would have preferred to do home made salsa for dinner tonight but I don't have what I need for that either. So, it is a good thing that I bought jarred salsa when I got the taco fixings last week. I am pretty sure that Beloved won't miss the lettuce that I usually put in it. I completely forgot to get it when I was buying groceries. Some how I remembered the sour cream but forgot the lettuce.
I have started another batch of sauerkraut. This time it is using red cabbage. I know that the last batch was delicious. I'm hopeful that this one will be equally awesome. As I have been looking at recipes for different kinds of fermented pickles, I am finding myself strongly tempted to make ginger carrots. I accidentally discovered that I really enjoy pickled carrots. Since I like my homemade pickles, I am going to give making the carrots a try next week.
Beloved has quite firmly stated that he doesn't want me to take up brewing. To be honest, he has nothing but good reasons for his objections. With the possibility of the bottles exploding and making a disaster of the apartment, I can't exactly argue against his logic. I am seriously contemplating asking my friends who do brewing to make up a bottle of something special for me in return for some pickles and jam. I think it would only be fair to trade home made goodness for home made goodness.
I am not entirely pleased how things turned out with my second attempt at sourdough. That, however, was because of mistakes I made in how I was handling the starter. I got one good loaf of bread out of it. And then I forgot about the starter and it went bad on me. I think I need a better way to contain the starter then just a bowl. I am going to look into my options, but the prospect of using one of the wide mouth canning jars that I have kicking around is looking better by the minute.
I am planning to get an iced tea jug with a spout when those things go on clearance. I'm probably going to hunt down one of the plastic ones. I drink a lot of iced tea during the warmer seasons. Rather then dealing with a milk jug, I'm thinking that if I have one of those gallon jugs with a spigot that it will be easier to fill and tend and such. I have been looking at various flavored water recipes floating around on the internet. (See what I did there? LOL) While I am intrigued by them, I can't exactly justify buying a whole watermelon for that (for example). I am thinking that if I do a little planning, I can possibly get stuff that would do double duty.
But that's what's rambling around through my mind right now. Now I must gather up the pieces that I will be submitting for the art show and make myself another cup of tea. Then it's back to writing I go!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I'M PUBLISHED! W00000T!!!
Here's the link to the book. Please consider purchasing a copy! It is under one of my oldest pen names, Lady Brythwen Sinclair. This is the first of what is going to be a collection of work produced under this pen name. I am in the midst of compiling religious/mystical poetry that I've written. My plan is to publish this as a companion book to Rose Petals. Look for that in a few months.
I also plan on publishing some other material via this method. I have an old manuscript that I hand bound years ago for my cousins. I am going to recreate it and publish it. My plan is to send them copies for Yule. Considering that it is a children's book, I think that my cousin Alicia will get a lot of mileage out of it with her little boy. And the idea of this being something that gets carried on to another member of the family tickles me pink.
Folks who are following my erotica literature, by the end of the year, there will be a collection of short stories available. I will still be adding material to the blog. Some of the previously published material from the blog will be expanded and additional content will be added. It is my plan to have this finished by December of this year.
I am totally stoked right now! This is so exciting!
I also plan on publishing some other material via this method. I have an old manuscript that I hand bound years ago for my cousins. I am going to recreate it and publish it. My plan is to send them copies for Yule. Considering that it is a children's book, I think that my cousin Alicia will get a lot of mileage out of it with her little boy. And the idea of this being something that gets carried on to another member of the family tickles me pink.
Folks who are following my erotica literature, by the end of the year, there will be a collection of short stories available. I will still be adding material to the blog. Some of the previously published material from the blog will be expanded and additional content will be added. It is my plan to have this finished by December of this year.
I am totally stoked right now! This is so exciting!
Thoughts on Boston Marathon Bombing.
I am fairly sure the blogosphere is entirely a twitter with people's thoughts and considerations on the events of yesterday. I have been thinking about it and about the way Facebook lit up with exhortations of people to pray for the victims (and first responders). I don't want to come off as a callous bastard but I sit here and all I can feel is disgust. Disgust for the people who perpetrated this heinous act, disgust for the knee jerk responses on Facebook, and disgust for the inevitable hatred that people will spew as they attempt to place blame for the act.
I recognize that what happened yesterday was a horrific thing. I feel badly that it happened but I can't bring myself to feel the awful sense of mourning that others seem to put on like an old coat, if you go by the frequency of requests of prayers, virtual candles, and similar sentiments posted on FB. I am relieved that none of my direct kin were affected by this. I am disappointed and disgusted by the act and the carnage. I am proud of those who put themselves into danger to help complete strangers. I sincerely hope that casualties will be limited and that all injured make a full recovery.
All of this said, what good does it do to post for quite possibly the 200th time in your friends' feeds that what happened was a bad thing? It is a statement of the obvious. Why are you asking them to pray for gods knows what iteration of that request you are? For the love of everything holy, refrain from this and put your sense of need to take action to rectify the problem into ACTION. Don't use pat statements to assuage your survivor's guilt or to assuage the nebulous sense of guilt that you feel obligated to have for not being directly affected by the events. Don't use FB posts to express your desire to have those harmed by this helped and leave it at that.
Pick yourself up and DO SOMETHING! If you feel obligated to pray for the injured parties, then pray. Don't announce to the world that you are doing it, spend your time engaged in it. It's one thing if you are letting people around you know that you are organizing something (ie 'hey guys, i'm going to donate blood, who's coming with me?' or 'i'm fund raising for the Red Cross, pls donate!' etc.). That is fantastic! Keep up the great work! Let more people know about your efforts offline to recruit as much assistance as you can for your cause. (I'm pro-activisim, even if it's for the opposite side of the causes I believe in because it means that you are standing up for your beliefs rather then paying lip service.)
With my ranting done, some may wonder just what I am doing in the wake of the tragedy. Some may ask if I don't want to help ease the suffering of those afflicted or if I don't want to see the perpetrators punished. I recognize that given the current circumstances of my family and life, I can do nothing more then pray for these people. I have done so. As for the punishment of the perpetrators, my feelings on that are the same as my feelings regarding ANY crime: the perpetrators should be apprehended and justice should be done. Note, I said justice. This means we allow the legal system to give them their day in court with a trial by jury, as is required by our laws.
Some may press the matter farther and demand that I agree with them that the offenders should be executed for their crimes. I would retort that their arguments, especially emotion based, are nothing more then a petty attempt at revenge, which is ultimately useless. Even the enormity of this crime does not make me support capital punishment. I refuse to support petty revenge, state sanctioned murder, or the execution of innocent people upon accident. So far, the arguments in favor of capital punishment boil down to approval of these things, if not the encouragement of the first in the list. I adamantly reject them.
I recognize that what happened yesterday was a horrific thing. I feel badly that it happened but I can't bring myself to feel the awful sense of mourning that others seem to put on like an old coat, if you go by the frequency of requests of prayers, virtual candles, and similar sentiments posted on FB. I am relieved that none of my direct kin were affected by this. I am disappointed and disgusted by the act and the carnage. I am proud of those who put themselves into danger to help complete strangers. I sincerely hope that casualties will be limited and that all injured make a full recovery.
All of this said, what good does it do to post for quite possibly the 200th time in your friends' feeds that what happened was a bad thing? It is a statement of the obvious. Why are you asking them to pray for gods knows what iteration of that request you are? For the love of everything holy, refrain from this and put your sense of need to take action to rectify the problem into ACTION. Don't use pat statements to assuage your survivor's guilt or to assuage the nebulous sense of guilt that you feel obligated to have for not being directly affected by the events. Don't use FB posts to express your desire to have those harmed by this helped and leave it at that.
Pick yourself up and DO SOMETHING! If you feel obligated to pray for the injured parties, then pray. Don't announce to the world that you are doing it, spend your time engaged in it. It's one thing if you are letting people around you know that you are organizing something (ie 'hey guys, i'm going to donate blood, who's coming with me?' or 'i'm fund raising for the Red Cross, pls donate!' etc.). That is fantastic! Keep up the great work! Let more people know about your efforts offline to recruit as much assistance as you can for your cause. (I'm pro-activisim, even if it's for the opposite side of the causes I believe in because it means that you are standing up for your beliefs rather then paying lip service.)
With my ranting done, some may wonder just what I am doing in the wake of the tragedy. Some may ask if I don't want to help ease the suffering of those afflicted or if I don't want to see the perpetrators punished. I recognize that given the current circumstances of my family and life, I can do nothing more then pray for these people. I have done so. As for the punishment of the perpetrators, my feelings on that are the same as my feelings regarding ANY crime: the perpetrators should be apprehended and justice should be done. Note, I said justice. This means we allow the legal system to give them their day in court with a trial by jury, as is required by our laws.
Some may press the matter farther and demand that I agree with them that the offenders should be executed for their crimes. I would retort that their arguments, especially emotion based, are nothing more then a petty attempt at revenge, which is ultimately useless. Even the enormity of this crime does not make me support capital punishment. I refuse to support petty revenge, state sanctioned murder, or the execution of innocent people upon accident. So far, the arguments in favor of capital punishment boil down to approval of these things, if not the encouragement of the first in the list. I adamantly reject them.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Garden pics.
It's raining outside today. When the weather gets nice again, I am going to start cleaning up the flower bed. Then I am going to deal with my pots of soil and such. My plan is to get everything prepped for planting when the weather gets nice. I figure if I start on it now and work on it a little bit every chance I get, then I'll have a nice looking bit of container gardening and such in no time.
Monday, April 08, 2013
It's beginning to look like Spring!
I'll be posting pictures tomorrow, but my tulips, daffodils, and hyacinthe are sending up shoots. The lilac has put out green buds and the coltsfoot is blooming. I recognize that my allergies are going to be punishing this year, because they have already started bothering me.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Every so often...
Every so often, I get this crazy thought that I should take one of my notebooks and keep a running journal of my exercise, my food habits, and pretty much everything else attached to my health. Then I look at it all and go 'what am I thinking?' I don't know if I should do it or not. I know that I need to do a better job with my mood tracking. I don't know about a journal recording everything about my health.
I suppose it would be a good way for me to keep track of how much weight I am losing and how much I exercise. It feels like a lot of work with out much for a pay off. I honestly don't know if I should do this or not. Goodness knows I have blank notebooks to use for that.
I suppose it would be a good way for me to keep track of how much weight I am losing and how much I exercise. It feels like a lot of work with out much for a pay off. I honestly don't know if I should do this or not. Goodness knows I have blank notebooks to use for that.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Exercise means progress, right?
I just finished doing my little Yourself Fitness dvd from McDonald's. (Random side note: I kinda regret that I didn't get the other ones in the set. I am thinking about hunting down the rest of the set so that I have 'em all to rotate through.) I am torn between pleased that I did 15 minutes of exercise and disappointed that I am so out of shape that it was real work. I want to be healthier. I am struggling with this sense of shame that I'm no where near the shape I was in before I had Cuddle Bug.
I have decided that I am going to do that little 15 minute work out every day. The first few days of it are going to be murder, but I think it'll be worth it. This is something that I can do with the kids even. So, when they have their days off (like on the weekend or during this break coming up next week) we'll still get some exercise in them. Today, I was not pleased that it took me so long to get to doing any sort of exercise today.
I don't feel quite as stiff in the legs as I did this morning. I think it's because I got that bit of exercise in. Oddly enough, it is equally difficult to get the exercise in as it is to stick to my healthy diet. I am having a real struggle cutting sugar out of my diet. I thought that limiting the amount of coffee I drink (along with the sugar loaded creamer that tastes so good), that perhaps I would just cut down on sugar too. Then I realized how much sugar I put into my tea.
I want to set a good example for the kids. I want to get them to where they can eat stuff that is naturally sweet and truly enjoy it. I really do think that is why they love bananas. I want to get my self off of the sugar kick and cut out as much in the way of processed food as I can from our diets. It is not just that I want us to all be eating healthier. I also have noticed that as we cut out processed foods and I make more meals the old fashioned way, we are spending less on our food budget.
I am still trying to get that completely hammered out. (I learned the hard way that Tops markets is not my friend on that front. They proved to be one of the most expensive places to get groceries in the area last week. And that was with coupons.) I am seriously considering going back to shopping at Save-A-Lot in Lima. They were good to my budget and the service has always been excellent.
With my effort to cut out boxed foods, I need a less expensive source for things like meat and fresh veggies. My menu planning has helped some with controlling the food expenses but not enough. I also need to find a way to cut waste out of our food budget. I have a bag of salad sitting in the fridge that we need to eat tonight or it's going to have to be pitched. I have a tray of veggies waiting to go into the soup pot. And that doesn't count the partial bag of potatoes that I have sitting in there either.
I had a few 'misses' with the menu thing. I am apparently the only person in the whole house who will eat sauerkraut or cabbage. As a result, I wound up throwing away half a head of cabbage. Beloved and I are also the only ones who will touch corned beef. The boys really did not like it. It was not to the point of their response to the asparagus last night (where they tried scraping it off their tongues after taking a tiny nibble), but it was clear how they felt about it.
I don't feel like I am making progress. I clean up the house and then it gets dirty again. I clean up dishes, cook food, and have to wash dishes again. I know that it's a spiral that I'm moving on. That things just seem to be the same all the time, but that I am actually making forward progress. It is hard to really feel that, though. When I have mornings that I am just so exhausted that I take a nap after I put the kids on the bus to school, days that I feel like I'm utterly useless, or something else equally disheartening running through my mind, it is really hard to keep that forward progress in mind.
The thing that helps me keep moving is when Beloved tells me that he's pleased with what I've gotten done. When he tells me that he's proud of me and that I am vital to his success. When my boys are making huge strides with what their learning at school, in how they interact with other children, and in their life skills progress, that helps me too. Because I can see that what I am doing is making a difference.
It's hard being a stay at home mom because sometimes the differences made in the course of the day are so subtle that you will miss them.
I have decided that I am going to do that little 15 minute work out every day. The first few days of it are going to be murder, but I think it'll be worth it. This is something that I can do with the kids even. So, when they have their days off (like on the weekend or during this break coming up next week) we'll still get some exercise in them. Today, I was not pleased that it took me so long to get to doing any sort of exercise today.
I don't feel quite as stiff in the legs as I did this morning. I think it's because I got that bit of exercise in. Oddly enough, it is equally difficult to get the exercise in as it is to stick to my healthy diet. I am having a real struggle cutting sugar out of my diet. I thought that limiting the amount of coffee I drink (along with the sugar loaded creamer that tastes so good), that perhaps I would just cut down on sugar too. Then I realized how much sugar I put into my tea.
I want to set a good example for the kids. I want to get them to where they can eat stuff that is naturally sweet and truly enjoy it. I really do think that is why they love bananas. I want to get my self off of the sugar kick and cut out as much in the way of processed food as I can from our diets. It is not just that I want us to all be eating healthier. I also have noticed that as we cut out processed foods and I make more meals the old fashioned way, we are spending less on our food budget.
I am still trying to get that completely hammered out. (I learned the hard way that Tops markets is not my friend on that front. They proved to be one of the most expensive places to get groceries in the area last week. And that was with coupons.) I am seriously considering going back to shopping at Save-A-Lot in Lima. They were good to my budget and the service has always been excellent.
With my effort to cut out boxed foods, I need a less expensive source for things like meat and fresh veggies. My menu planning has helped some with controlling the food expenses but not enough. I also need to find a way to cut waste out of our food budget. I have a bag of salad sitting in the fridge that we need to eat tonight or it's going to have to be pitched. I have a tray of veggies waiting to go into the soup pot. And that doesn't count the partial bag of potatoes that I have sitting in there either.
I had a few 'misses' with the menu thing. I am apparently the only person in the whole house who will eat sauerkraut or cabbage. As a result, I wound up throwing away half a head of cabbage. Beloved and I are also the only ones who will touch corned beef. The boys really did not like it. It was not to the point of their response to the asparagus last night (where they tried scraping it off their tongues after taking a tiny nibble), but it was clear how they felt about it.
I don't feel like I am making progress. I clean up the house and then it gets dirty again. I clean up dishes, cook food, and have to wash dishes again. I know that it's a spiral that I'm moving on. That things just seem to be the same all the time, but that I am actually making forward progress. It is hard to really feel that, though. When I have mornings that I am just so exhausted that I take a nap after I put the kids on the bus to school, days that I feel like I'm utterly useless, or something else equally disheartening running through my mind, it is really hard to keep that forward progress in mind.
The thing that helps me keep moving is when Beloved tells me that he's pleased with what I've gotten done. When he tells me that he's proud of me and that I am vital to his success. When my boys are making huge strides with what their learning at school, in how they interact with other children, and in their life skills progress, that helps me too. Because I can see that what I am doing is making a difference.
It's hard being a stay at home mom because sometimes the differences made in the course of the day are so subtle that you will miss them.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Exercise and such.
Today, I did my walking. I got in just under a mile walking to the park, around the trail, and back. I am going to go out and walk every day that I can. At the minimum, I will walk there and back. On the days that the kids are home or that I am not able to go out to the park, I am going to do my aerobics exercises (ala the dvd i have). I am going to work myself up to doing those exercises on the days I go walking too, but I am not just going to jump into it right away.
I was a bit bad about my diet. I couldn't help myself, the potato chips were wonderful with my vegetable soup that I had for lunch today. I did remember to eat a nice, healthy breakfast today. This evening, I am making hamburgers, tatertots, and peas for dinner. I don't expect the kids to have much love for the peas, but they may surprise me.
I want to make myself healthier. I don't want to be feeling like my knees are being tortured or get short of breath when I have to move quickly. I sincerely hope that all of this exercise and careful monitoring of my diet will result in my having improvement with my lung function. With the spring weather coming, I know that my allergies are going to be a problem. Perhaps all of this exercise will help nip some of that problem in the bud.
I am struggling with the whole cutting excess sugars out of my diet. I told myself that I was going to stop eating junk food and drinking soda. This past weekend, however, I ate a fair amount of junk food and had soda. I recognize that some of this is because I went shopping hungry on Sunday. I also recognize that some of this is my body struggling with the effort to get myself off of sugar and refined foods.
An interesting thing I noticed last week as I was enjoying the sauerkraut is that with the probiotic rich foods, I have less problems with gas and my body does a better job of eliminating wastes (to put it delicately). I am fairly certain that the probiotics are the cause of this because that is the only major change I have successfully made to my diet. Now, I just need to get myself back into the habit of drinking a generous amount of water during the day.
I was a bit bad about my diet. I couldn't help myself, the potato chips were wonderful with my vegetable soup that I had for lunch today. I did remember to eat a nice, healthy breakfast today. This evening, I am making hamburgers, tatertots, and peas for dinner. I don't expect the kids to have much love for the peas, but they may surprise me.
I want to make myself healthier. I don't want to be feeling like my knees are being tortured or get short of breath when I have to move quickly. I sincerely hope that all of this exercise and careful monitoring of my diet will result in my having improvement with my lung function. With the spring weather coming, I know that my allergies are going to be a problem. Perhaps all of this exercise will help nip some of that problem in the bud.
I am struggling with the whole cutting excess sugars out of my diet. I told myself that I was going to stop eating junk food and drinking soda. This past weekend, however, I ate a fair amount of junk food and had soda. I recognize that some of this is because I went shopping hungry on Sunday. I also recognize that some of this is my body struggling with the effort to get myself off of sugar and refined foods.
An interesting thing I noticed last week as I was enjoying the sauerkraut is that with the probiotic rich foods, I have less problems with gas and my body does a better job of eliminating wastes (to put it delicately). I am fairly certain that the probiotics are the cause of this because that is the only major change I have successfully made to my diet. Now, I just need to get myself back into the habit of drinking a generous amount of water during the day.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Rambling thoughts.
So, in my grocery shopping, I picked up a bunch of veggies for the stock pot. I think I'll be making vegetable stock this week. I used my beef stock in some soup for my lunch last week. It was positively delightful. I threw in a bit of the sauerkraut when I zapped it up in the microwave. It was a wonderful addition.
It's a bit frustrating that I am the only one in the house who will eat cabbage. That said, I must confess, I don't mind not having competition when it comes to this sauerkraut. I think I am going to make another batch when I finish this off. But the second jar of sauerkraut that get's made, I am going to bring over to my grandparents. I figure bring that and a loaf of sourdough bread will be well received.
I am excited about the coming good weather. I have all these wonderful things that I want to grow. I am really, REALLY hoping that I can do well with tomatoes so that I can make my own salsa. I am interested in doing some small batch canning this summer/autumn. Among the things I want to make are salsa, chutney, and chicken soup. I think I prefer the fermented pickles to the vinegar packed ones, but I do want to try my hand as some vinegar packed pickles too.
I have been letting my cooking interests dictate what I plan on growing (as well as the lighting conditions). I still have some herbs dried from last year that I need to use up. I think that I will be using the mint and lemon balm to make some herbal teas. I am not exactly sure what I will do with the sage. I have seen things about how to make your own smudging bundles with it. I don't think I have enough to do much of a bundle, but I may make some ground incense with it.
I must go and do my cleaning in the kitchen before I go do laundry. I hope that my bread dough will rise properly. I hope that my sourdough starter revives after the feeding I just gave it. And, I hope that you all have a wonderful day.
It's a bit frustrating that I am the only one in the house who will eat cabbage. That said, I must confess, I don't mind not having competition when it comes to this sauerkraut. I think I am going to make another batch when I finish this off. But the second jar of sauerkraut that get's made, I am going to bring over to my grandparents. I figure bring that and a loaf of sourdough bread will be well received.
I am excited about the coming good weather. I have all these wonderful things that I want to grow. I am really, REALLY hoping that I can do well with tomatoes so that I can make my own salsa. I am interested in doing some small batch canning this summer/autumn. Among the things I want to make are salsa, chutney, and chicken soup. I think I prefer the fermented pickles to the vinegar packed ones, but I do want to try my hand as some vinegar packed pickles too.
I have been letting my cooking interests dictate what I plan on growing (as well as the lighting conditions). I still have some herbs dried from last year that I need to use up. I think that I will be using the mint and lemon balm to make some herbal teas. I am not exactly sure what I will do with the sage. I have seen things about how to make your own smudging bundles with it. I don't think I have enough to do much of a bundle, but I may make some ground incense with it.
I must go and do my cleaning in the kitchen before I go do laundry. I hope that my bread dough will rise properly. I hope that my sourdough starter revives after the feeding I just gave it. And, I hope that you all have a wonderful day.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Good Evening, folks.
Honestly, the last few days have gone really well. (With the sole exception being this nagging bit of a cold that I have, which I am on the mend from. I'm quite pleased with the fact that I didn't lose my voice today. Mayhaps, I'll be recovered tomorrow?)
My experiments in the kitchen have been bearing fruit. My sourdough starter made for a nice loaf of bread yesterday. I goofed up the measurements and screwed up a loaf today, but this is a learning process. My sauerkraut is beginning to smell like sauerkraut. I think it will be ready in the next day or two. I'm looking forward to trying it out.
I tried out the crock pot oatmeal recipe and discovered it made a huge mess in the crock pot. I then used one of those disposible plastic liners and made another batch. Clean up was a breeze. The oatmeal was tasty and I enjoyed it quite a bit. The kids, on the other hand, didn't feel like having any. It's going to be a bit of a process getting them converted to 'whole foods'.
My goal over this year is to transition away from packaged foods as much as possible. I see here that it will actually save us money if I do this. When I went grocery shopping last weekend, I only spent about $60. Unfortunately, some of the planning that I did blew up in my face. (Apparently, I am the only person in the house who will eat cabbage in any form. And the boys do NOT like corned beef.) In my efforts to get us 'back to basics' in our diet, I am working to revive some heritage recipes and techniques.
The way I see it, I am a housewife. I should have the skills that my foremothers did. Can I launder my own clothes? Can I preserve food? Can I cook from scratch? All of these things are skills that I feel are very important. While we're living in an apartment and I can't exactly go full bore on this stuff, there are things I can do.
In the course of my travels tomorrow, I plan on picking up a little wooden drying rack. I'm going to trade a bit of housework for the use of my neighbor's laundry machine. I figure I can put the drying rack in the tub and let stuff drip dry in there. I can't do a big huge load but every little bit counts. Flylady figures a load of laundry a day is what is needed to keep a household running smoothly.
My goal is after I get our laundry caught up (mid-week trip to the laundromat is in order here) that I just do that one load a day. Then on the weekends, I do what ever is left over. If I don't have to spend three hours at the laundromat to carry my own weight (and then some) in laundry around, that would be fantastic. Sure, you could say that I could walk down to the laundromat and do the wash. If I were doing that everyday, however, it would make it hard to keep up on other things. Though I suppose that is one way for me to start work on my training.
Yep, that's right. I am in training. I have decided that I am going to run in a marathon next year. I have given myself a year to train and get ready. I think I can do it. Right now, I am just doing exercises in the house because the weather and life haven't really been encouraging me to go out and attempt to start running. This summer, I plan on getting myself up to running a mile regularly. It means that I am going to have to get good sneakers and some appropriate clothes.
I don't have a scale to measure my weight loss. So, I am going to do so on the basis of what my measurements are. I am also going to try to write down my walking/exercise time for every day. When I see my doctor next month, I am going to bring up this stuff that I am working on. Who knows, maybe he'll have some suggestions for me.
But, that's what's up here.
My experiments in the kitchen have been bearing fruit. My sourdough starter made for a nice loaf of bread yesterday. I goofed up the measurements and screwed up a loaf today, but this is a learning process. My sauerkraut is beginning to smell like sauerkraut. I think it will be ready in the next day or two. I'm looking forward to trying it out.
I tried out the crock pot oatmeal recipe and discovered it made a huge mess in the crock pot. I then used one of those disposible plastic liners and made another batch. Clean up was a breeze. The oatmeal was tasty and I enjoyed it quite a bit. The kids, on the other hand, didn't feel like having any. It's going to be a bit of a process getting them converted to 'whole foods'.
My goal over this year is to transition away from packaged foods as much as possible. I see here that it will actually save us money if I do this. When I went grocery shopping last weekend, I only spent about $60. Unfortunately, some of the planning that I did blew up in my face. (Apparently, I am the only person in the house who will eat cabbage in any form. And the boys do NOT like corned beef.) In my efforts to get us 'back to basics' in our diet, I am working to revive some heritage recipes and techniques.
The way I see it, I am a housewife. I should have the skills that my foremothers did. Can I launder my own clothes? Can I preserve food? Can I cook from scratch? All of these things are skills that I feel are very important. While we're living in an apartment and I can't exactly go full bore on this stuff, there are things I can do.
In the course of my travels tomorrow, I plan on picking up a little wooden drying rack. I'm going to trade a bit of housework for the use of my neighbor's laundry machine. I figure I can put the drying rack in the tub and let stuff drip dry in there. I can't do a big huge load but every little bit counts. Flylady figures a load of laundry a day is what is needed to keep a household running smoothly.
My goal is after I get our laundry caught up (mid-week trip to the laundromat is in order here) that I just do that one load a day. Then on the weekends, I do what ever is left over. If I don't have to spend three hours at the laundromat to carry my own weight (and then some) in laundry around, that would be fantastic. Sure, you could say that I could walk down to the laundromat and do the wash. If I were doing that everyday, however, it would make it hard to keep up on other things. Though I suppose that is one way for me to start work on my training.
Yep, that's right. I am in training. I have decided that I am going to run in a marathon next year. I have given myself a year to train and get ready. I think I can do it. Right now, I am just doing exercises in the house because the weather and life haven't really been encouraging me to go out and attempt to start running. This summer, I plan on getting myself up to running a mile regularly. It means that I am going to have to get good sneakers and some appropriate clothes.
I don't have a scale to measure my weight loss. So, I am going to do so on the basis of what my measurements are. I am also going to try to write down my walking/exercise time for every day. When I see my doctor next month, I am going to bring up this stuff that I am working on. Who knows, maybe he'll have some suggestions for me.
But, that's what's up here.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Home-schooling trial run # 1
We missed the buses today. Rather then get all stressed out over getting the kids to school late, I decided that they could spend the day at home. We've been going by my summer home school plan. So far, it seems to be working ok. The boys are having a good day and I've kept them busy enough that they're not causing trouble. The walk this morning did all of us some good and we incorporated a bit of science time into it by looking for birds.
If it were just Cuddle Bear and I, it would be time to do music stuff after lunch. Because Snuggle Bug is home and he needs to nap, we are going to do some painting with the Color Wonder paints that I have here. I think we're going to make birds. Just because it feels like a good theme to focus on today. Honestly, I'm not sure if Snuggle Bug is going to nap.
In other news, Cuddle Bear's Spring Hat for school is finished.
If it were just Cuddle Bear and I, it would be time to do music stuff after lunch. Because Snuggle Bug is home and he needs to nap, we are going to do some painting with the Color Wonder paints that I have here. I think we're going to make birds. Just because it feels like a good theme to focus on today. Honestly, I'm not sure if Snuggle Bug is going to nap.
In other news, Cuddle Bear's Spring Hat for school is finished.
Friday, March 08, 2013
Rambling.
I have a fantasy manuscript that I am totally stalled on. I'm very frustrated with this. I am struggling to write in several different projects. I'm trying to find comfort in my writing but I look at it and feel like it is just busy work. This business with my grandparents and their illnesses has been preying on my mind. I know that there really is nothing I can do to help them but I find myself running in mental circles going there has to be *something* I can do.
In the light of this struggle, it's amusing in it's own way that I am having some progress writing adult fiction. I am not complaining about this. But it does bewilder me. I am struggling with a mixture of self consciousness and the almost obsessive urge to edit this stuff into oblivion. I am doing my best to stick with the spirit of the project and just write that which comes to me (pun not intended).
In the light of this struggle, it's amusing in it's own way that I am having some progress writing adult fiction. I am not complaining about this. But it does bewilder me. I am struggling with a mixture of self consciousness and the almost obsessive urge to edit this stuff into oblivion. I am doing my best to stick with the spirit of the project and just write that which comes to me (pun not intended).
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
2013 blanket project update
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Summer Home Schooling Plans
Mornings:
A very rough plan of what the summer home schooling stuff is going to look like.
Now to start gathering workbooks and such.
- Household skills - housework & cooking lessons
- Gross Motor activities - park, walking, etc.
- Science activities - garden, park, internet
- Fine arts activities - music, artwork, crafts
- Reading activities
- Mathematics activities
- Gross Motor activities
- Household skills
- Free Play
A very rough plan of what the summer home schooling stuff is going to look like.
Now to start gathering workbooks and such.
Friday, March 01, 2013
19 days...
Nineteen days until the Equinox and the official start of Spring. I suppose I should sit down and draft out my plans for my plantings and such. The weather's been so rotten of late that it's been hard to remember that we're so close to Spring. I ache to be out in the warm sunshine puttering around my plants. I can't wait to smell the green scent of the sap running through the trees.
And I am all about taking the kids to the park to see the goslings and ducklings when they hatch. I'm tired of Winter. I hope that with all the snow, we've gotten what we needed for the water table to be where it should be. I hope that the people who've been suffering with droughts got some good out of the heavy weather this past month. Most of all, I hope that the coming season brings lots of good with it.
And I am all about taking the kids to the park to see the goslings and ducklings when they hatch. I'm tired of Winter. I hope that with all the snow, we've gotten what we needed for the water table to be where it should be. I hope that the people who've been suffering with droughts got some good out of the heavy weather this past month. Most of all, I hope that the coming season brings lots of good with it.
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