Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Getting sick, again.

My throat feels like it is made out of sandpaper. My sinuses are achey. I think it is safe to say that I have come down with the kids' head cold. At the same time, my mental state is a bit off. I only slept about four hours last night. Oddly enough, I am wide awake and full of energy, have been all day. (I was that way for about half of last night too.) I suspect this is to do with the fact that my medications have been altered. I will know for sure if this is how I am tonight and tomorrow. I feel restless but I have a hard time focusing right now.

I feel like I should be doing a thousand things but I just can't make myself sit still long enough to do one of them. I have a sink full of dishes to wash but I keep getting distracted by other things. Which I then get distracted from as well. It is just a chain of distractions all along the way. I don't rightly know what I should do with myself. As the day has gone on, I have felt my ability to concentrate slowly diminish. My thoughts are unfocused and going faster with each passing hour. It has me concerned what I am going to be like this evening. Because I really need sleep, it is important to keeping my mental function healthy.

It is snowing right now. I am sure the kids will be excited about that. I don't know how much we're going to get today. I don't know if I am going to have to shovel the walk later or if it will be something I need to do in the morning. I am presently trying to get myself focused enough to do a bit of writing on my other blogs. It is, however, difficult to concentrate.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Running in circles.

I have been trying to tread water but it feels like I'm not doing so hot. My brain has been not cooperative towards the goal of getting all the things done. At least today I have gotten something done. Perhaps I will get a bit more done with luck.

Fiber arts wise, I have now loaded my distaff with the remainder of that raspberry colored fiber. I have a handful of wine colored fiber that I am going to spin with one of my supported spindles. I am trying to figure out how to do this whole business of spinning with the spindle held in hand. It is not going easily. It has lead to a fair amount of hand discomfort. It isn't as bad as it is with the other french spindle. I am seriously considering picking up a set of spindle sticks and seeing how it improves things.

I knit a few rows on my anxiety shawl. I accidentally messed up my knitting and have one row that is reverse stockinette. It is, however, a mistake that I'm going to leave and not worry about. Because I'm working on being forgiving with myself like that. I also am getting ready to take Beloved's sweater apart and add more to it. (It came out half the length it really should have been. Width wise, however, it is good.)

And I think I have figured out how to flick card stuff. I think.

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

It just rolls on.

I keep telling myself that today will be the day that I will get everything I wanted to do done. Then little things like a migraine or medication brain fog get in the way. I am trying to not be discouraged but it is kinda hard. I thought I'd be jumping back to my previously aggressive posting schedule and it just hasn't happened. I feel tired and discouraged.

I don't know if it is just because I'm having a hard time recovering after the break or what exactly it is. I want a vacation. I want to go somewhere warm, where I have no responsibilities. That, however, is not going to happen anytime soon. I feel burned out and that is disheartening. I am looking around trying to find some way to not feel so burned out but I am coming up with nothing. I can't just let all the housework sit and ignore the work of managing the kids for a day.

The weekends are chaotic and exhausting for me. I can't relax because there is so much going on. I try to get some time to relax and rest during the week but by the time I feel like I'm ready to start getting things done, the kids are coming home from school and I have to mind them. I wish there was a way to get some alone time with my husband. I wish there was a way to get some time where we don't have to worry about when we woke up in the morning (and now what to do if the kids get up before us).

I'm so tired and so ... sad. I am sad that I feel like this. A part of me says that I should be up and on the go right now. But I am literally resisting the urge to take a nap because the kids' bus will be here in a few minutes.