Thursday, July 26, 2007

Amazing how things change...

I guess all I needed was a good dinner and my honey to talk to. I'm not feeling half as shaky and freaked out. I'm still anxious about stuff, but not to the degree I was earlier. I'm hoping that I can manage to get him to sit down long enough to help me with budget stuff next week, but I don't feel like it's all doomed.

The restaurant we went to has finally finished their remodeling. It was a charming but slightly run-down establishment before. Now, well, it looks completely different. The worn green carpeting is gone, the army of over grown plants along the divider between sections in the back has been scaled down, and the cracked, peeling vinyl seated booths are no more. It is a huge difference. Now, the place has a sleek look and you can really feel that the restaurant has room for a body to move in there.

The food has always been good. The service has been excellent just about every time we have gone in. With the addition of the new hardwood floors, beautifully refurbished booths (that I think are larger), and a general freshening up of the paint, it makes the place look very, very nice. All of this started about four months ago when the business came under new management. The folks that are in charge made a few subtle changes to the menu lay out before ordering whole new menus that are a lot easier to read. They kept the things that sold really well and got rid of the ones that hadn't done well since the late 1970s.

That right there was something that made a little bit of a buzz in town among the regulars. When they started to add new desserts to the menu, more chatter happened and business started to perk up. The place isn't a big, hopping joint but I think it's on its way there. If you're ever in our neck of the woods, we'll have to take you over to Peppermints. I think that they've got the best grilled chicken in the three counties for under $10 and I'm positively addicted to their chef's grilled vegetables. Something about the way these things come out, they're not mushy or burned. It's just enough to bring out the color of the vegetables and still keep 'em crisp.

To say the least, my mood has been dramatically improved. :) Now to go and tackle other projects and tasks around home. At least I got the most miserable of 'em all done. And my darling husband is going to be helping me out with the other one I hate, dishes. It's wonderful, absolutely wonderful that he has been helping out more around the house. I love the fact that as his stress levels at work go down, he helps out more and is generally more cheerful. Here's hoping that things keep going this way!

I feel almost ready to SCREAM!

I absolutely hate going thru the bills. I recognize it is a necessary evil. Unfortunately, it is something that just must be done. As I've spent multiple hours dealing with this headache, I feel almost ready to spontaneously combust or scream. I'm honestly not sure which. And to think, some time over the next week, the budget for next month needs made and the check register gets to be compared to the bank statement. Oh how much joy and rapture will this be, indeed.

It doesn't help that the pile of bills and mail that I just went thru had been sitting for months. Fortunately, most of the bills are paid. Those that are awaiting payment and filing are now in a nice, neat little stack next to my desk. I still feel on the verge of a complete freak out because I've been sorting and filing old medical bills and expenses. Right now, I can feel my hands beginning to tremble and I'm torn between being cranky as hell and just whimpering in anxiety.

It's a huge mess. I'll admit it. Between the mountain of medical bills related to the year that I didn't really have a job and had many lung problems and the bills all relating to the health needs I've had over the past three years, I think the amount of debt in this front is probably equal to the amount I owe on my student loans. I honestly don't know, which is part of what has me freaking out right now. I have no damn clue how much money I owe people.

It makes trying to get the financial picture settled out scary as hell. I really do wish that I had my husband's constitution. It seems like the man never gets sick. When he gets a cold, it's the sniffles where as I am sick in bed for a week with a sinus infection and a cough that the neighbors hear thru the wall. Now, I am finding myself dreading things like when cold and flu season comes because I don't know if the baby is going to take after me or my husband. I don't know if I'm going to be horribly ill at some point and be absolutely useless for taking care of the baby. It's ... it's rather terrifying because I don't know what to do right now.

I'm doing my best to remain healthy. We've got good health insurance. I try to keep our home relatively clean and make sure that we eat healthy. It feels like the rest is just up to the fates. After all, who knows when my ovaries will decide it's time to have a grapefruit sized cyst or if my lungs just feel that it's a ducky idea to not function quite right because of my allergies. Here's hoping that my anxiety attacks don't start coming back as I handle things with the money around here. Gods, I hate dealing with this crap.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

It actually went somwhat well...

I'll give a more complete report of how the adventure known as the baby shower went last Saturday during the daylight hours. I'm making progress on things like baby clothes and getting the apartment ready for a massive amount of furniture rearrangement. The last few days have been odd. Monday I slept all day because I was exhausted for some unknown reason. Today, I woke up because the baby was kicking a lot at about 8 am. I'm not going to try to figure this out.

I've moved the supply of antacids to the bedroom because the heartburn has gotten to the point where it wakes me up and doesn't let me sleep more often then 3 times a night. I'm hoping that this will be gone as soon as the baby is born. The last thing I need is for the heartburn and the lactose intolerance to potentially continue.

I've most of the thank you cards written from the baby shower. I now need to address them and send them in the mail. I will try to remember to send letters out to the various people I must be writing as well, I'm not sure how successful I will be. I've completed the pre-registration paperwork for the hospital and I'm in the beginning of completing the new patient paperwork for the baby. As I move forward on these things, I am baffled yet again by the sheer mass of bureaucratic paper pushing that is required for events such as birthing a child, getting married, or dying. I suppose hell is well populated with the persons who felt these paper trails were necessary, because it's pure suffering to be fighting with all of it.

I'm not looking forward to the 'fun' of the social security paperwork. It was a huge headache just to get my stuff updated when I got married and changed my last name. I don't want to think about how painful it will be to do the paperwork for the baby. Either way, I'll be posting more tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to drink my glass of water (grimacing at the heartburn) and maybe read up on some nice recipes.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

an artist's perspective

I like unusual and unique artwork. I think that this gentleman's work clearly qualifies. I just found this blog and I've got to say it's amazing.

ent Objects

Excellent work Terry! I look forward to seeing more as time moves forward!

Going to Buffalo.

Yep, my husband and I do that some times. We don't live *too* far away so we can get over this way to visit some of our friends here. Last night, after the baby shower, we came out for a game that my husband helps to run. As he was assisting in directing the players to their various tasks and keeping order in the chaos that usually follows, I sat and worked on some embroidery. The baby blanket that I have been making for the last year is almost done.

It was a quiet evening, despite the fact that the game was an active group and after which we came to a friend's house for a bonfire. Somehow, even with all the potential for things to turn crazy, it didn't. I am glad that we stopped over here at our friends' house. After the baby is born, we're not really going to get too many opportunities to just cruise over here and hang out. I'm not sure but I think this may be the last time I come out this way for a while.

I feel sad because I am going to miss a lot of folks. At the same time, there is a good deal of teenage angst/drama that happens surrounding the games we play in that I won't miss. I've made some good friends here and I'll do my best to keep in touch with them. I just hope that it doesn't turn into a case of 'out of sight, out of mind.' I don't know what I'll be doing to get out of the house and take a break from taking care of the baby. I sincerely hope that it will not be something foolish, like perhaps going to the mall or something equally inane. It's hard enough to figure out what to do with myself now, before the baby is born.

I am nervous that I'm going to possibly be socially isolated by virtue of the fact that I'm not going to be leaving home very much. In the same moment, however, I feel relieved to have some of the social awkwardness lifted from my shoulders. I'm not exactly comfortable in a city setting and I find that I have a difficult time finding common ground with folks who are from the city. It still surprises me that some of my most lasting friendships are from people who were raised in major metropolitan areas. I guess my rough, some what shy, country ways isn't too alienating. I just worry that they are. Now, I'm going to be embarking on something of a great adventure, raising a child with my husband. I hope that the baby doesn't grow up to resent us too much for not favoring the city and it's rapid pace of life. It sure does look more interesting then watching grass grow in our little town or out on the farm.

The Baby Shower

I'm relieved to say that the baby shower did not turn into the fiasco that I was so worried it would. Held at my Parents-In-Law's home, it was a casual affair. The color scheme was baby blue and white, with the accents of yellow occasionally. There were balloons which said "Welcome Baby!" and "It's a Boy!" in blue and white. The weather was stunning, which only served to help the time fly by.

I think that one of the biggest surprises of the day was having my Mom there. I had thought that she was going to still be out of town on business, but I was obviously wrong. The other surprise was the refurbished antique rocking chair that my husband's parents gave us. To say that I was stunned would be to commit a great understatement, I was speechless. It is a beautiful chair and actually more comfortable then the rocking chair that I had located at Wal-Mart.

I wasn't terribly enthralled with the 'Baby Bingo' game that was played, but it made me smile to watch my brother's and my brother-in-law's children win the game. We didn't receive half as many baby toys as I thought we were going to have thrust upon us. Mainly, the gifts were clothes. It's some what amusing that they got the message wrong and most of the clothes that we were given were for an older baby. It's a good thing that I've been working on sweaters and the like for a newborn to a 3 month old child.

My dear and darling husband did come to the party with me. He, his brother, and my father-in-law, all hid away from us ladies, however. My father-in-law did pester his wife as to when ice cream was going to be served immediately after we were finished with the picnic lunch. It was good for a chuckle, as was the expressions of shock on my husband's aunt's face when he and his father both ate some royally burned hot dogs. These things were still some what smoking when they came out for some more to eat.

I generally avoided talking with my grandmother by being chatty with my sisters-in-law. My brother's wife and my husband's brother's wife both got along quite well together. I think that is just wonderful and I hope that maybe they can strike up a friendship. My brother's wife is a somewhat lonely woman, despite the fact that she has a brood of girls and a small army of family immediately around her. It is my hope that us married women with children may actually get together on a somewhat regular basis after the baby is born. I know that it would probably do all of us and our kids some good.

On the whole, the family party was a nice party. I do still feel disappointed that a party involving my friends couldn't have happened. I couldn't help but smile, however, when my husband said that when our next baby was going to come along, he would take a hand in planning the baby shower so that will happen. I had been a nervous wreck over the last few weeks leading up to this party. It's kinda funny, in a sad way, that I was so anxious over this.

I don't know if it was hormones contributing to the anxiety or if it was the painfully clear recollection of the humiliation that came along from my grandmother at the last big party thrown in my honor. Either way, I walked into this expecting to have to face the worst and do so with the same level of cool headed grace as I had when there was panic behind the scenes at the wedding. It was an enormous relief that the worst thing that happened was a toddler fell over and some hot dogs got burned beyond recognition. It gives me a thin bit of hope that the next time some one plans a party for me, it won't turn into a disaster or some kind of display of familial obligation (if not some sick combination of the two).

Thursday, July 19, 2007

update upon the mood front

I'm not feeling as upset/depressed as I was earlier. I suppose the combination of a nap, a shower, and spending some quality time with my husband is what did it. I'm still unhappy that my friends won't be able to make it to the baby shower, but that's how life goes sometimes. I don't know if I had noted the fact that I've started an on-line business or not. I suppose if I hadn't I just did. :)

I've finally taken the big plunge and stared an on-line tarot reading business thru, despite my anxiety. So far, it has been slow going. I've got the beginnings of a web-page designed. My dear and darling husband is going to fix it up so that it actually looks presentable. There will be a picture of me up on the listing and on the web-page. I've started another blog just for this little business of mine. On the whole, I've got a some what sound beginning set up.

I've even actually had a few callers. Generally, it's been a lot less complicated then I was concerned it would be. I must admit, it is pretty amusing that I had dragged out my old text books from the class that I took at college for mass media writing. It included a section on advertising, which I have reviewed and am attempting to apply towards things like the website I am building with my husband's help. It is my hope that I will build up a reasonable bit of advertising and such so that I can have a somewhat regular check coming in from this.

The way my husband and I figure it, if I can get to a point where I can have a regular customer base and a flexible schedule, I should be able to continue doing this after the baby is born. The grand experiment of selling items on has not panned out very well for me. It would be really nice if it did, but I'm afraid to say that I'm not offering anything interesting enough for sale to get any buyers. I could theoretically be making and selling baby booties, but I just don't want to take the effort I'm using for making baby clothes and spend it on some one else's baby, unless they are a friend of mine. It may sound a bit selfish or perhaps mean-spirited but it's how I feel. I'll post more about the baby clothes stuff in a little bit.

what i've been up to...

Well, where do I begin? I haven't really been terribly active of late. I try to get my walks in, but as things have progressed over the last month or so, my walks become shorter and shorter. Swollen feet and ankles don't exactly help a person take a two mile walk or even a quarter mile walk. I've been feeling kinda bummed today, actually for the past few days. The reasons are fairly simple and I feel rather annoyed with myself over them.

I'm nervous as hell that this baby shower that's being thrown for me by my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law is going to come out like the bridal shower did. I was painfully bored and I was offended deeply by my paternal grandmother's antics. Maybe it's just me, but it's kinda offensive to be giving some one a copy of Etiquette for Dummies. I'm dreading the idea of her deciding to give me a copy of Parenting for Dummies because she's ticked off by the fact that she wasn't involved in the planning of the baby shower or some other thing. I feel badly that I don't really want to go to this thing, because I'm expecting the worst possible things to happen.

I feel like my family doesn't generally give a damn about me. Mom calls me and checks up on me at times. I know that my brothers care and so do their families. The rest of 'em... well, they don't take the time to call me or try to see me. And yet I'm supposed to believe that they care, are interested in my well being, and I should be putting in the effort to go see them. It's rather ... stupid (to put it as lightly as I can). I hate to have to go and court the good favor of my relatives when things are generally good. To have to do so when I'm pregnant and the rest of the world seems to think that I should be receiving visitors and good wishes, well, it's rubbing salt in the wound. Especially when I've got neighbors and associates who assume that this is how life is for me, as it supposedly is for each woman that is pregnant.

I guess I can say that I feel depressed right now. It's not due to the fact that my hormones are a bit nuts right now. Or at least, I don't think that's the case. I feel hurt by the fact that I spend everyday home alone. Friends who said they'd call me from work never did. Family who said they were looking forward to visiting me when school was over, well, they don't show up. I've some other folks who have a knack for getting themselves into trouble and then call me to resolve it, people who I thought were my friends but are now showing that they're just using me.

In the midst of all of this, I've got some friends who I am trying to get a hold of but it just hasn't been working out right. Now, I'm scared that I've offended them or some how managed to push them away, so that the friendship is destroyed now. Never mind the fact that I had wanted them to come to my baby shower, but it's just not happening this summer. I got mad because I had assumed that my sister-in-law was being a flake (as per usual) and had put off planning the baby shower for months. I then find out that the gal was attempting to plan the shower with a mutual friend from high school, who had become pregnant recently. The delay in the shower was due to a combination of the friend's morning sickness making planning difficult and family chaos in my husband's family.

So, I feel mad at myself for being angry with my sister-in-law. At the same time, I'm mad at my sister-in-law because she didn't get a hold of my brother's wife (who according to theory was helping in the planning, but no one really talked to her, apparently). I've got so many different things that are bothering me and making me upset. I feel like I shouldn't be upset like this, like I should be one of those women who take everything that happens in their pregnancy with complete aplomb and navigates the situation with the best of 'em. I don't know if I have legitimate reasons to be upset.

I want to cry, scream, or just crawl into bed and hide from the world. I've been keeping a lot of the upset bottled up and it just kinda blurted out here. I'm sorry if I've disturbed you. I wasn't trying to, just trying to maybe help myself feel better. It doesn't seem to be working at the moment. I guess I will go crawl into bed and hide from the world. Sometimes, when the world feels like it's out to just make you feel like crap, the best thing to do is go take a nap.

My dear husband, I'm pretty sure that you're going to read this. I know that there's a lot of good that I've done recently and there's a lot of good on the way to us. I know that our baby is healthy and that's a huge blessing in and of itself. I know you love me and that you think that I am a competent woman. I just feel badly right now. Getting mentally prepared for the 'fun' of this weekend, well... it makes me feel like I need to force a smile and do my best to make everyone else happy, damn how I feel. It's just how it feels to me between how the last big party held in my "honor" went and how virtually every other party had gone in my family that was for me. It hurts to feel like this and I don't know what to do.

I'll do a happier post or at least a less upset one after I wake up from my nap.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I may sound paranoid at times but ...

So, I'm reading the news and listening to the news radio programs about everything going on in the world. As I am listening and reading, it occurs to me, the fact that the head honcho at the Homeland Security office has a 'gut feeling' that a terrorist attack may happen is quite possibly a clever ploy to attempt to clamp down more on the rights of the people. Maybe it's just me, but doesn't it seem like any time there is some big announcement that we've to be 'concerned' (read afraid and kowtowing to the State) about terrorists that there's some kind of shyster move being made domestically. It's kinda like during the Clinton administration there was a new scandal or international incident to cover up some domestic screwing of the citizens that was being done.

Maybe I'm paranoid.

Maybe I'm not, and that is what troubles me.

Monday, July 09, 2007


Somebody must have told the marketing folks here at Blogger about my penchant for collecting and reading cookbooks.

I just found at least six different cooking related blogs displayed as "blogs of note" for me to review via the links at the dashboard page. Some of the items looked wonderful. Others, well... they weren't quite my style, but it was interesting to read about them.

I'm an odd person, I suppose. I've started to keep a cooking journal of sorts. It's really just a few notebooks of recipes. Some day, I'll actually write down some thoughts about the recipes, aside from what substitutions work best and which ones my husband likes. I've started one for my girlfriend Lionessa. At some point, I really should get over there to give it to her. I think she'll enjoy it a lot.

I love to write and I'm finding that I've a budding love of cooking. I just wish that I didn't abhor the cleaning up part quite so much. I think it would make my culinary adventures easier then. There's still that pile of dishes in the other room and I suspect that 78% is probably about as cool as it is going to get tonight. This may be the best time to go wash dishes and get a few things ready so that we can actually have dinner at home tomorrow night. I just don't know if I feel motivated enough ... no, not motivated... I don't know what the right word for it is. Ah well, I think I'll be procrastinating on dishes for yet another hour of insomnia... as I suspect I'm not going to really sleep at all tonight.

insomnia, anyone?

Here I am, sitting here at the computer when I really should be sleeping. I don't really have a reason to be awake right now. My darling husband is actually sleeping quietly and peacefully. He's even managing not to take pillows or push me off the bed, as he does some times (usually about 4 in the morning). The baby's not kicking a lot. The air conditioner is doing wonders and making the bedroom actually comfortable for sleeping.

I just can't sleep.

Instead, I find my mind wandering. I think I've mentally sung the lyrics to about six different country songs over the last two hours. I can't seem to manage to get into that relaxed sleepy state that I was in when I first went to go lay down. Ironically, now that I'm up and typing here at the computer, I've actually got a bit of heartburn. :P I was comfy and all, I just couldn't make my brain quiet down.

If I wasn't singing country songs in my head, I was wondering if it was going to rain tonight. I was staring out the window counting the number of cars driving by based on the glare of the headlights against the bit of the roof that overhangs the bedroom window. I was wondering how my husband was sleeping, hoping that his dreams weren't stressful. Given that he's not snoring, tossing, turning, or muttering in his sleep, I don't think I've got anything to worry about there.

I debated going and washing the small mountain of dishes that needs done right now. I think the noise of it would wake my husband up, though. It's been a while since he's gotten a good night's sleep. I worry about him sometimes. Well, more often then sometimes. I can't really help worrying about him. It's not that he's got a dangerous job or anything else crazy like that. He's just been really stressed out of late with work and he's been a bit panicked over my well being since the whole business with my appendix back in January/February. It makes it where he doesn't sleep well.

It's hard to believe that I'm now 8 months pregnant. I'm finding myself feeling nothing of the excitement that so many other women have or the nervousness that I'm being told that I should be. I haven't been too uncomfortable with this pregnancy. Sure, it's ackward and I really would like it if my ankles didn't swell up like balloons when the weather got hot or I was standing for a while. The sore back and now the sore hip are also feelings I could probably do with out, but it's not too crippling.

I kinda wish that I had a few more pictures of myself as this pregnancy progressed, but life got in the way of that happening. It always seems to happen that way, life getting in the way of plans and projects. I've gotten a fair amount of sewing done, even some crochet for the baby's clothes. I don't like this one pattern for leggings. I'm half tempted to rip the work out and just make something different with the yarn. It's not the best idea, though, because I'm so close to having these goofy things done. It's just the difficulty of getting the one leg finished properly for the back of the leggings. Once one is finished, the second leg just whips right along. Then I'll just need to stitch them together and make the shoulder straps.

I'm going to be making some baby sweaters, caps, and mittens. Hubby wants me to use this rather garishly colored yarn to make an outfit for the baby. It'll match the little lap blanket that I've been working on for hubby, so I'm not going to object too much. I bought the yarn back in December, shortly after I learned I was pregnant, and I thought that as I worked with it the colors would settle out into a rainbow pattern. I was wrong, as I found out making baby booties for coworkers back in June. It makes this (hideous, in my opinion; cool, in his) tie-dyed/melted crayon effect to the fabric that blends these bright colors together. While I want to use bright colors and I am willing to put some unusual color combinations together, this is just too much for me. Hubby, however, loves the combination and just about begged me to make some clothes for the baby with this yarn.

So, I went out to the store and bought more of this yarn. His lap blanket/afghan will be done soon and I'll make the clothes next. I'm not using the dopey pattern that is in my book, though. It's driving me crazy because I swear that these people can not count. I've been trying to correct for their errors but it's getting rather aggrivating. I'm thinking that I'll probably make a nice little shawl for me, too. I won't be doing the screamingly obnoxious color combinations that range from a deep wine color to the bright shade of the inside of a cooked acorn squash. And those two colors are right next to each other on this skein of yarn! :P

I have a big skein of garnet colored yarn that I think I will be using. I just need to decide on the pattern. Here's hoping that it will be done better then this pattern for the leggings. :p

Monday, July 02, 2007

Yet more to add!

I confess, it is rather amazing what happens when you add a bite to eat into the equation for resolving lack of inspiration. Baby stuff does make for good posting material, but so do many other things. It's a tough debate as to what to put in here, unlike earlier where I couldn't think of anything at first.

I think what I'm going to do is post on the most immediate of topics- my husband. :)

Right now, he's playing a game called God of War II. Our friend loaned it to him on his birthday back in May. He's been busy trying not to stress himself out over work stuff, so he's taken some time to beat the game a few times. Right now, he's gotten to the point where he has some nifty tricks available to him. It's fairly entertaining to watch him play the game. There's something hilarious about a grown man trash talking a computer or a video game, can't quite place it, but it's there. The other thing that amuses me is how he's been 'testing' the rocking chair when he doesn't think I'm looking. Using it to play his games on the Playstation just makes me chuckle.

I'm glad that chair is comfortable for both of us. It will be important later on. Right now, he and I are already getting a little bit of experience soothing baby into some quiet time before I go to sleep. It's funny, but his rubbing my belly works better then my doing so. If I'm just sitting in the rocking chair and rocking, the little one will settle down. But it only lasts as long as I'm in the chair. When I go to get up, the baby will stir and start kicking me. I think it's because I'm changing his position after he's gotten comfortable. The most amusing part of it all is that hubby's rubbing my belly, and there by the baby, works better then my rocking in the chair.

I've been busy with what I'm sure the women I worked with over the last year would have declared to be 'nesting' things. I'm not 'nesting' like they and many others have insisted. I've been trying to find ways to create more space in the apartment and more organization. I have moments when I feel a rising sense of panic that our apartment isn't big enough or that we're not going to have a way to keep home orderly and handle the insanity of the new challenges associated with an infant. So, I've been doing things like working on rearranging how things are put away in the kitchen, organizing various things in the apartment, and doing my best to make it as quick and easy to find, put away, and clean everything here. I figure the more I prepare, the better off hubby and I will be when the baby arrives.

I don't think that's the wacky 'nesting' instincts kicking in. I think that's more like I'm trying to cope with my anxiety about being a new mother by trying to be prepared. Here's hoping that I'm not doing it all in some stupid fashion that will come back to haunt me later. :p Aside from doing my best to make home-care as straight forward and easy as possible, I've been working on making baby clothes. I'm debating making some and selling them on the craigslist website.

At the suggestion of some of the ladies that I worked with at the school, I have posted a few items up there to sell. Who knows, maybe some one will actually want to have the small collection of glass vases that I've got kicking around here or perhaps can use the extra large roasting pan that won't fit into my oven. It's a bit of work, but I think that I can manage to possibly even sell some of the baby booties that I can make. They were a huge hit at the school and it only took me about an hour per pair to make.

Yeah, there's already been some baby showers. I'll give the gory details when I'm not quite so distracted by hubby's game. But, here's something of a 'real' post for y'all.

No, I have not fallen off the edge of the earth!

Life has just grabbed a hold of me and refused to let go. I'm sure that you all know exactly what that's like.

I'm not sure what to say right now. The last month of school went well and now the summer break, and my maternity leave, has begun. I'm feeling nervous about financial things, but I think I'm not going to panic. I've been reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book and finding myself reassured that hubby and I are not as bad off as I was worried we were. I was also rather amazed to read that so many people have damned themselves with credit cards.

I've got to admit it, hubby was right when he decided to ban credit cards. I kinda argued with him for a little while, thinking we should have one 'just in case.' As I've read these anecdotes about how other people have used that 'emergency' credit card, I realized that was probably one of the best financial decisions we've made so far. While the budget is going to be tight over the next year, I am forced to say, we're doing alot better then we could be. If we didn't own our car or if we had a massive mortgage that we were barely making payments on before, I think we'd be hosed.

Money concerns have been giving me a little bit of insomnia of late. Mainly, however, my waking up in the dead of the night has been due to alot of heartburn and gas from the baby. I never realized just how much I enjoyed being able to easily roll over and change my position in bed until it has become difficult to do. :p I'm officially into the beginning of my 8th month of pregnancy. I apologize to all of you wonderful folks who want pictures of my big belly and me. Hopefully, those will be up soon, but I'm honestly not sure. Life has made things difficult and stressful for hubby due to work. As a result, the bit of tweaking required to post pictures on the 'net from his digital camera or to print them off has been bogged down by his efforts to 'decompress' from work.

Maybe I can con him into doing that soon, I don't know. I'm waiting to see how much of the stress is going away since that huge, maddening government project they were working on is finished. I'm happy that big headache is resolved and things are getting back to 'normal' over where my darling husband works. Mondays are still bad days, but I don't think they're quite so bad. I'm not sure, though, because some days it seems like he can't win for all of his effort on a Monday. I think today was one of those days, judging by how his phone call with me went a few minutes ago.

I'm thinking and I'm not sure what else to post in here. I don't really have any deep thoughts or major breakthroughs to present at the moment. I've been slowly making progress on crocheting baby clothes, despite the errors in the patterns given in the various books I've been consulting. It's amazing what you can do when you have some one who actually knows how to crochet explaining to you the mistakes the 'professionals' who wrote the book made and how to correct them. Some of these professionals really, really need to learn how to count. I may have a math learning disability, but I know that 15 does not equal 45 when you add 3 to it. It just doesn't work! Who knows, maybe the book editor was asleep when that edition went to press.

If we can figure out enough time to post pictures up here, I'll try to slap up some of the different baby related projects I'm working on. The big baby blanket is 3/4 of the way done. I have finally finished sketching out the designs for the different teddy bears and now I just have to embroider them on. So far, it is coming out very well and it actually looks fairly cute. I've yet to master the arcane art of knitting, but if I'm given a little time, I think I can do it! Then, maybe, I'll knit a few blankets and some clothes too.

The baby is healthy and kicking alot. I guess that's normal for this point in time. We've been told by the sonagram techs at my last ultrasound that we're having a boy. Mom's told me not to believe that because my sister-in-law was told the same thing for all three of her pregnancies, and they have three adoreable little girls. We've picked out some names that we like and now it's just a matter of getting the official word on the gender. I'm thankful that hubby didn't insist on the name Aloysius. I've always hated that name. I think it was because of a character that I despised or a book that I despised reading in high school.

I can't think of anything more now and I really should go clean some. The kitchen looks like it exploded from when dinner was made for my parents over the weekend. It was great to see them and great to get their help fixing up a few problems, but I just don't want to go wash dishes. Oh well, no time like the present to take care of problems, I suppose.