Saturday, April 29, 2006

Blogging... or should I journal?

Well, this has recently replaced my journal. On one hand, it is a easier format for me to express my thoughts. I don't get cramps in my hands from typing quite as fast as my hand cramp when I'm writing by hand.

At the same time, it is difficult for me to preserve the memories I express here for when I'm a doddering 85 years old and suffering from Alzheimers. I won't always have the ability to pop onto a computer and look this up. So, I will probably take some time over the next few days to write in my journal.

It may lead to more things posted on the blog. I'm not sure yet. One thing I can say, I've done more "creative writing" since I've started blogging then I did before. It's allowed me to write in more then one area at the same time. Now, if I can only manage to get my math skills honed and start work on my pysics theory I'll be happy. My brain is getting more work now, so I'm not *quite* as crazy.

well... maeby. ;)

A poem I adore.

Lady_Cinnibar, I owe you one for getting me hooked on Robert Herrick's poetry.

Here's one that I absolutely adore and I simply must post!
Title: To The Virgins

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer ;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Quizzes because i have no motivation to write... :p

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

Find your Celestial Choir

School Smart

You're more of a 'school smarts' kind of person. You are best with the theoretical things, and your intelligence is both natural and learned - a blend of personal, experiential knowledge and book learnin'.

40% theoretical intelligence
20% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Update on the Job Front...

I forgot to post this earlier:

I still love the job. Though I'm getting more then a little irritated with these people I work with. I know that horse-sense isn't that uncommon!

That said... I'll continue on too kill m'dizzy brain with dopey games on yahoo ... or take a nap.

I haven't decided yet.

PS: To the gals that I've become high priestess too... yes, I am going to be blunt in here. I also hope that you see that I said I care about y'all! :) You want a peek into my brain, look here. otherwise, don't look. :)

Dizzy spells, apathy, and computer... yay!

I've been having horrid dizzy spells all bloody day. End result, I've been alternating between being so dizzy I have a hard time sitting upright in the chair and nausea. I'm feeling apathetic about keeping home clean.

I've such a guilt complex... if I'm ill, I feel like I need to be cleaning and making sure the home is spiffy.

"It's only dizziness... I can work through it..."

Then I nearly fall out of the chair for the ... well, umteenth time today. :P

So.. I've been using the computer to entertain me. I slept most of the day..

Oh yeah, one other fun thing, I used my last sick day today. I'm not expecting to be doing much better tomorrow. Thus I start on my unpaid leave from the school. *And* we've got to wait until Friday to schedual an appointment with the doc to see what I've gotten sick with. :p

Some days I really do despise my luck.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

untitled due to author apathy

It's been a long day and I'm blogging to avoid doing dishes, laundry and any other sundery chores.

It's not a good sign when I'm doing this to avoid stuff. especially when there isn't that much stuff to do.

I came to the conclusion that I'd make a better witch then a catholic. It took alot of debate, examination, introspection, and other stuff like that. The revelation that the peace I felt was from no longer questioning if I would be impressing the right people made me understand that it wan't the peace of Christ that I found.

Throw that together with how I kept twitching towards the whole doing the witch thing to solve problems, it's kinda obvious that I'd do rather poorly.


And then I had a conversation with my sister in law. The one who was my self styled cheerleader for conversion. Yeah.. that went real well. She's mad at me and feeling some what betrayed, I think. I'm torn between feeling angry with her, upset with myself, or just ... irritated. I wasn't turning Catholic to make her life easier. I wasn't doing the witchcraft thing to make my friend's lives easier.

She seems to think that if I don't do things her way or let her have her way that I'm a bad person. It's the only thing that shines through in her reactions to me since the wedding day. She hadn't had the nerve to complain that I was making her brother's life miserable because I wasn't allowing him to go visit her. But that's because the phone call didn't last long enough and I kept the topic well away from my husband.

What is it going to take to get this girl to understand that the world doesn't revolve around her? She's so focused on having everything happen just the way she wants to see it happen, that she ignores the damage she does to all of her other relationships. On one hand, I"m angry with her for all of her ... well... her poor behavior. On the other hand, I want to help her see just what's wrong and help her fix the problems, this way she can succeed in life. And another part of me just wants to walk away and say "Ok, it's your life. You know what's best, and I'm not going to stand in your way. You must know what you're doing."

I just can't do that and watch her go down in flames. But I had that happen with a friend a few years ago. And she turned into a pheonix. So.. maeby there's hope.

I'm not so sure about this one, though. She keeps cycling farther and farther down.