winter

winter

Friday, November 03, 2017

NaBloPoMo Post 2: Ugh, rain.

It is right now raining. Fortunately, the roof is not leaking. It was the one repair that the landlord made sure got done. I'm still trying to get the guy to fix the bathroom sink. It's been over a year now that I've been trying to get it fixed. I think we've gone through three plumbers. Honestly, I'm tempted to say fuck it all and fix it myself.

My shoulder is killing me right now. But my head is not because I found out I could take Sudafed. It's amazing what that stuff can do for a terrible headache when you've got a head cold. Now I'm just trying to rest and get some writing done. Aside from that, make the menu for next week and write up my planner (including the grocery list) are on my list of stuff to get done today. And one well earned long, hot shower. I think the last of the blue hair dye is going to wash out today. I'm a little sad but I'm going to be bleaching my hair in the not too distant future to do this all again and actually have it show up. Because apparently my hair is far darker than I thought it was. Though the grey REALLY stands out right now.

Thursday, November 02, 2017

NaBloPoMo 1: Sick, again.

May be a head cold. May be a sinus infection. But I'm sick and feel pretty awful. Still attempting NaNoWriMo. And trying to finish my project from last NaNoWriMo.

While my head is killing me and I have an intermittent fever. So, as the meme says, I need a bigger NOPE. I want to get stuff done, dammit.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Feeling are not facts.

I feel terrible. I am not a terrible person. I feel depressed. My life is actually going more or less ok. I feel worthless. I am an invaluable part of my household. I feel like I don't deserve to be loved, that I have not earned the privilege. Everyone deserves to be loved. It is not a privilege, it is a basic necessity for life.

This list goes on and on.

I'm fighting myself pretty hard today. It is exhausting. I find myself swinging somewhere between utter apathetic despair that I am going to be like this for the rest of my days and absolute grief for the horrors happening in the world, for the things I've lost in my life due to Bipolar, and for all the potential that could have happened between me and people who are just not healthy for me to be around.

And I hurt, very, very deeply.

A part of me wants to give up on everything writing related because nothing will ever be good enough. Another part of me says that if I give up, I will lose another vital part of myself and this is committing slow suicide.

Good thing I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow, though I am dreading this appointment. And my PTSD has been in high gear for various reasons. I'm exhausted but sleep doesn't help with this form of exhaustion. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. If nothing, I am stubborn.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Menu week of 10/22/17

I'm working on pre-cooking some things for the week. I found a recipe for how to make a big batch of scrambled eggs in the oven. I'm going to be starting on that in a few minutes. I will be cooking up a small beef roast tomorrow in the crock-pot to be used in making pulled beef for enchiladas tomorrow evening. I'm also going to store some of that pulled beef in the freezer for another dinner on another night. The guys all seemed to enjoy bbq pulled beef last week. (I was going to make the pork roast and discovered it had gone bad in the time I thawed it to when I was going to cook it, a few days later. Thus, I pulled out the beef roast and cooked it.)

The teriyaki meatballs are going to be made with Grandma K.'s recipe. The stuff using ready made meatballs and teriyaki marinade is ok. But Grandma's version is better. So, I'm going to make a big pan of meatballs and save some for later. I also have a partial bag of meatballs from the store that I'm going to use on Saturday in the spaghetti. At some point during the week, I will be making spaghetti sauce. Ever since I got the 1.5L crock-pot, I've been making things like soup stock and sauces. The salsa came out a little too salty, but I think I can fix that by cutting the half batch I have in the freezer with a can of crushed tomatoes. I have been using the McCormick spaghetti sauce spices with crushed tomatoes to make spaghetti sauce. It came out really well and made dinner last Saturday a lot easier.

I'm beginning to think that pre-cooking things for the week may be a habit that I want to cultivate. I still have to finish cooking down my chicken stock. But, as I work at it, my plan is to turn that into the base for a pot of perpetual soup over the next several months. Stealing an idea from generations before me and what not. End results of the change I have made thus far in how I handle how much I am cooking has helped me cut down on food waste and how much we spend at the grocery store.

Date Breakfast Lunch Dinner
Sun Eggs &
kale / donuts
Sandwiches Naan Pizzas
Mon Pop-tarts &
donuts
Kids - School
Beloved- Spaghetti
Me - spring rolls
Hamburgers,
carrot salad
Tues Cereal Kids - School
Beloved - Turkey
sandwich & chips
Me - Salad
Beef enchiladas
with beans &
rice (tossed salad?)
Wed Eggs /
Pancakes
Kids - School
Beloved - burrito
bowl & hard boiled
egg
Me: taco salad
Sweet & sour
pork roast with
quinoa and garlic
green beans
Thurs Cereal /
pop-tarts
Kids - School
Beloved - cuban
sandwich & chips
me - bbq pulled
pork with mac &
cheese (non-dairy)
Teriyaki meatballs
pad thai &
Thai chicken
coconut soup
(peanut
noodles for kids)
Fri Eggs /
pancakes
Kids - School
Beloved - leftovers
Me - leftovers
Sloppy joes
with biscuits &
tossed salad
Sat Eggs &
hash
Leftovers /
salads
Spaghetti &
meatballs

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Menu week of 10/15/17

Hi there,

It's been kinda busy over here. I'm trying to stay on top of stuff. It's a bit hard, because it seems like everything is happening all at once. That said, here is the menu for this week. I changed things up on Sunday and yesterday. Sunday was roast chicken. Because I really wanted to have roast chicken. And yesterday I was out of spoons early on. So I had Beloved pick us up some takeout while the kids had their favorite sandwiches and some chips.

Lunch has become less complicated with how the school lunch thing is getting back into the swing of it all. (There was a hiccup because I filled out the form incorrectly and added an extra zero. This has been resolved and the boys are back on the free lunch program.)  I'm not going to post yesterday and Sunday's menus. Because we're done with that. But here is the remainder of the week:

Day Breakfast Lunch Dinner
Mon --- --- ---
Tues Cereal leftovers / chili w/
biscuit / school
lunch
tacos, salad, &
mexican rice
Wed Pop-tarts Leftovers/ salad sweet & sour
pork roast w/ rice
& salad
Thurs Eggs Turkey sandwich
w/ chips / chicken
salad wrap &
veggies
pulled pork
mashed potatoes
broccoli
Fri Cereal Turkey sandwich
w/ chips / leftovers
chicken korma
w/ rice & veggies
Sat Eggs &
bacon
Leftovers/
Sandwiches
spaghetti &
meatballs
Sun Eggs &
hash
Leftovers Pizza