tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-154307632024-03-14T11:04:16.636-07:00Country wife, computer widowEssays, random spoutings, and occasional stupid humor from the desk of the Wife.The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.comBlogger1478125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-23516359870482123002024-03-14T11:03:00.000-07:002024-03-14T11:03:38.831-07:00Stepping away for a month. Approximately.I'm in a deep depression and I couldn't fake it until I made it out. I talked to my psychologist. He is weaning me off of the Vraylar and then slowly putting me on Latuda. The whole process should take about a month. Because I'm on doing well, I'm stepping back from blogging and social media (not that it makes a big visible difference right now due to how depression has been impacting both) untilThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-69272768184684916202024-03-06T16:30:00.000-08:002024-03-06T16:30:39.113-08:00Fiber Fluff: I got sidetracked. This confounded sweater has made me decide that I'm never knitting a sweater again. It shrank 13 inches. It won't fit either of the kids. That is a 12 in ruler to show how it is most definitely not 21 inches. I knit 21 inches. In acrylic yarn. And after blocking it and everything, this is what I have. I am deeply disappointed.Cuddle Bear has been so patient with the process. It's been threeThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-42663670459519677062024-03-03T16:34:00.000-08:002024-03-03T16:34:00.797-08:00No Menu yet for this week.I have to go through the very crowded cupboards, shelves, and refrigerator to figure out what I have to work with. I'm trying to change things again. I'm realizing that relying on prepackaged meals is taking a good bit out of our budget. Not enough that it is a disaster, but enough to be notable. So the fiscal angle of going back to cooking more has come up in discussion with Beloved. It was The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-26753662530423070342024-03-02T06:54:00.000-08:002024-03-02T06:54:29.322-08:00I hate insomnia. And the damn CPAP machine broke.I've been struggling with insomnia for the last three years, correction five years. It didn't start with anxiety over Covid-19 or anything like that. It was a combination of my waking up randomly in the small hours of the morning and having neighbors that had screaming fights in the small hours of the morning. Did I forget to mention that the bedroom faces a wall that is particularly thin and I The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-9190249056424997362024-02-14T07:27:00.000-08:002024-02-14T07:27:45.682-08:00Fiber Fluff: The Bear is almost done! Huzzah! I have two more parts to make and fill with polyfill before I sew everything up together. My challenge is I am out of purple yarn and the last of my polyfill went into the body of the bear. This weekend, I will be picking up purple yarn, polyfill, and looking for button eyes that are a bit more like what Snuggle Bug has described.Aside from that, my spinning is on hold and I just started The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-34146731983333723842024-02-14T04:21:00.000-08:002024-02-14T04:21:57.173-08:00Happy Valentine's day (non commercialized) Friendly reminder. Valentine was murdered for marrying to Roman soldiers. He should be the patron saint of the lgbtq+ community but certain parties can't have that. And that's just not profitable. So let's make it all about candy, cards, condoms, and carnal lust. On Ash Wendsday at that.Pardon me while I laugh. Because if I can't laugh, I'm going to be screaming from the roof tops that lustThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-71113200036177678032024-02-12T16:33:00.000-08:002024-02-12T16:33:27.717-08:00This week's MenuIt has been five years of food logging and I can't stand it anymore. I'm just making carb appropriate menus for myself and doing my best to keep track of things that way. Food logging kicks up my anxiety over am I eating more than I should compared to the rest of the family. It puts me in the mental place that my anorexia lives and I fall into binge-starve habits. I can't do it anymore. So, I am The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-15708331484172605912024-02-11T04:37:00.000-08:002024-02-11T04:37:38.740-08:00It's been a long week ... 9 days long!?! I try to set modest goals for myself. Then I get swamped with stupid problems and stupider situations. It is all very vexing and I rather hate it. But that gets turned inward because of conditioning and shit, which turns into my cycling between feeling like a failure and feeling useless. It all together is rather awful. I kinda hate my parents for fucking with my brain like they did for theThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-44395017639346184092024-02-02T10:00:00.000-08:002024-02-02T10:00:06.810-08:00Blessed Imbolc to all who celebrate it. To all who celebrate Imbolc, I wish you a warm and happy day. May Bridget bless you and your home with prosperity and joy. May she bring you inspiration and stoke the fires of creativity for you to express what is in your heart more fully. <3The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-64249028898142589792024-01-24T08:04:00.000-08:002024-01-24T08:04:00.334-08:00Nightmares suck, night terrors suck even more.Sleep last night was not my friend. Two reasons: I am still getting used to the damn CPAP machine and trying to fit the mask properly, and I had some vivid nightmares. I think the nightmares means that my traumatized brain is attempting to process what happened to me when I was younger, but I'm not sure. Last night, it was more like memories coming up with a combination of staircase wit. I woke The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-31187701493436882002024-01-20T04:31:00.000-08:002024-01-20T04:31:06.231-08:00I can not brain, I haz teh dumb. Hi there!I haven't written in quite a while. It's frustrating. I open up the laptop and stare at the screen as my mind goes blank. In my continuing battle with the cpap machine, I talked to the 'sleep coach'/specialist at where I bought it. I found out that it is running properly and a 20 l/min leak is well within accepted tolerances. I was praised for my compliance with the sleep therapy The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-29536116996526625152024-01-11T05:41:00.000-08:002024-01-11T05:41:12.804-08:00We survived but presents are not done. Gods help me.The holidays were stressful as per usual. No one was seriously sick in our household but the in-laws were. It made for awkward times with the kids. They wanted toys and they got books. For a moment we thought they were going to explode but they immediately sat down and began reading. I kinda feel like we dodged a bullet there. It's going to be a gradual process to transition them from eagerly The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-40522565322249325942023-12-14T09:56:00.000-08:002023-12-14T09:56:05.323-08:00I will have to walk into the maelstrom to get things, oiy. My last week has been spent on knitting feverishly on this sweater. (40 rows before the final edging.) I haven't even started the bear that's been requested of me. I'm starting to think I might not get it done at all. I'm crocheting just as feverishly on a mobius cowl. I think I made a mistake thinking it was going to be easy to get done quick. Large yarn and large hook is faster than smallThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-44975563650579503312023-12-07T07:00:00.000-08:002023-12-07T07:17:07.911-08:00I did not plan for a week to go by. Oiy. I planned to pick up the blogging threads and start weaving them again Monday. Then I had a migraine that put me out of commission. After that, I had my intake appointment for therapy. I glossed over some of the trauma because I could see that my therapist was getting deeply disturbed. I don't want to break another therapist. This one genuinely wants to help and when I broke down crying inThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-48574070511664643192023-11-30T05:30:00.000-08:002023-11-30T05:30:11.527-08:00NaBloPoMo post no. 30: *Another* Migraine, argh! The temperature jump of 30 degrees is what set this one off. I've taken my Excedrin because medical studies are inconclusive if you can take Imitrex more than 3 time in a 30 day period. Over the course of this month, I've had four migraines because of the stupid weather. I can handle a temperature jump of 10 degrees F in either direction. If it is 20 deg F or higher, I get a migraine. The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-13530587113450414942023-11-29T13:07:00.000-08:002023-11-29T13:07:48.141-08:00NaBloPoMo post no. 29: I think I caught my son's cold. Cuddle Bear has had a wicked cold for a little while now. He's finally recovering from it. Now I am showing symptoms and I am highly annoyed. I have been sick so much of the year that it took a serious bite out of my productivity. I had pneumonia for two months. I had bursitis in my right shoulder for a week after that. Then the left shoulder got pissy for a week and only ice worked to makeThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-21722020549237918772023-11-28T09:31:00.000-08:002023-11-28T09:31:45.772-08:00NaBloPoMo post no. 28: Snowmageddon missed us by 10 miles.As many of you are aware, I and my family live in the Finger Lakes region. We're at the westernmost part of that area. Not quite Western New York, not quite Central New York, and a scooch too far north to be part of the Southerntier. We are in an awkward position geographically for people to define, unless you are talking football. Then it is everything from Buffalo east to Syracuse is "Bills The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-69944006406965095362023-11-27T04:36:00.000-08:002023-11-27T04:36:28.295-08:00NaBloPoMo post no. 27: Shoppmageddon tempts me.Beloved pointed out to me that I didn't have to make everything for everyone on my list. I hear the siren call of shopping and I am doing my best to resist. I suspect in the end half of what I have planned will be made and I'll be working on a shopping list in a week or so. Because there's a lot to do to fix the disaster of this apartment. It is my goal to have it all clean by Yule or The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-73974150227369399952023-11-26T04:43:00.000-08:002023-11-26T04:43:21.641-08:00NaBloPoMo post. no. 26: I guess I wake up at 0400 now. Since using the CPAP machine, I have been consistently waking up at 0400 and taking a one hour nap at 0800. This isn't a huge problem just bewildering. I can't figure out what is waking me up at 0400. The neighbors' pets are typically rather quiet at that time. They haven't been fighting at that hour in a couple weeks. Maybe my body is just telling met it is time to get out of bed andThe Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-5082341032823047662023-11-25T04:40:00.000-08:002023-11-25T04:40:40.718-08:00Nablopomo post no. 25 - So. Many. Carbs.I've been trying really hard to watch my carbohydrate intake. Yesterday, I was stress eating leftovers. I saw there was a small amount of bread based stuffing and thought it'd be ok to eat it. After all, it was lunch time and that's the time of the day where I am supposed to eat the most carbs out of the whole day. My range is 35 to 40 carbs per meal and 10 to 15 carbs per snack (3 snacks a day).The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-66561648990965466052023-11-24T02:40:00.000-08:002023-11-24T02:40:33.454-08:00Nablopomo post no. 24: Thank gods, THAT is done! Turkey Day was not a complete fiasco. The old goat wasn't quite as goatish. He didn't have snide comments about the diabetics at the table this year. I think it was because there was three of us instead of one. Dinner was well tolerated. No one got snippy over my boys not having much of an appetite. Beloved and I did our level best to not get into the food with too high of a sugar content. The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-50752890403309325672023-11-23T01:56:00.000-08:002023-11-23T01:56:53.254-08:00Nablopomo post no. 23 - Ah gods, it's Turkey Day. It is 0436 and I have been up since 0230. My stomach is all knotted up and I feel nauseated. I know that I'm going to be exhausted later today because I've only gotten 4 and a half hours of sleep. I am not looking forward to today. I just want to avoid the world and sleep. But I can't sleep because of how my stomach is roiling. I've tried drinking water. I've tried a cup of tea. I've tried The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-70143815357506935182023-11-22T11:18:00.000-08:002023-11-22T11:18:17.007-08:00Nablopomo post no. 22: Deb vs CPAP -round 3 (It didn't go out the window, yet.) This confounded thing keeps turning off in the middle of the night. Not just turning the screen off but the entire damned contraption. I've tried a number of things. All I can do is wait for the power to cycle (a half hour) and then I can go back to sleep, but by then I am awake.On top of that the neighbor's dog has been whining and howling since 0100 and it is 1410 right now. And at 0100, The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-67319460736240298082023-11-22T11:06:00.000-08:002023-11-22T11:06:43.267-08:00Nablopomo post no. 21 - Trulicity Week 2 Some of the side effects of nausea and belching are present. On average, however, my daily fasting blood glucose has come down by 20 points. I've been a fool a few times over the last two weeks and ate like I didn't have diabetes. My blood sugar went high and I felt like garbage. Thus, Trulicity is not a cure all, like the ads like to make it out to be.I'm a little nervous about Turkey Day.The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430763.post-39003502414567327632023-11-22T10:05:00.000-08:002023-11-22T10:05:43.845-08:00NaBloPoMo Post No. 20: I hate this weather rollercoaster. I want off. I am on day three of a migraine. Days one and two I was non functional. Today, I am semi functional. I think this means it is going away. On top of the migraine fun, I have had my joints killing me (thanks, arthritis) and the stress of using this confounded CPAP troubling me. I'm convinced I am doing something wrong. I can't figure out what. The manual is word salad to me right now because The Wifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581709023922591028noreply@blogger.com0