I am presently spinning the same thing I was two weeks ago when I posted that video up on Youtube. It is roving from Frabjous Fibers. My mother in law got me for Yule two years ago. I started out spinning this last spring on my french spindle. The picture really doesn't do this colorway any justice.
They call it #4 Chromatophobia Pink. It ranges from a royal blue to a rose pink. The green shades are both peacock blue and grass green. The yellow shade is something somewhere between butter yellow and lemon. The transitional points between the shades are really delightful.
The fiber blend is exceptional. I honestly can not begin to describe how lovely it feels in hand to spin it. It is their "Opulence" blend. It is 30 % superfine merino, 30% tussah silk, 20% baby camel down, and 20% royal baby alpaca. If my hands are too dry, this fluffy stuff does catch on them a bit. If the weather is hot and humid, it will felt lightly as I am working. As such, I use my little wrist distaff to manage the fiber that I am not actively spinning.
I have been using my small turkish spindle for this project. I started on my french spindle but I got frustrated because my hand kept cramping. My goal is to (at some point) learn how to spin holding the spindle in my hand rather than supported in a bowl. It may require a lighter spindle, though. I am on the hunt for a medieval stick style spindle. In the meantime, I am going to try out the whole spinning with a knitting needle thing. My hope is the smaller diameter of the knitting needle will be easier on my hands.
Essays, random spoutings, and occasional stupid humor from the desk of the Wife.
roses

Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Monday, January 23, 2017
Monday Menu: Week 3
So, I never did get as far as posting my menu for last week. I apologize. I just managed to completely forget to do it until it was time to make my new one.
This is not half so neat and tidy as the first one I posted. I suppose you could say that life happened here. Looking at this week's menu chart, you will notice that Wednesday the 25th is highlighted. This is because that day is Cuddle Bear's first chorus concert. So, dinner is going to be out of the house. It is probably going to be at McDonald's or something. Because the kids love going to McDonald's and it is inexpensive. Dinner is not going to be happen at the usual time either, because we have to be at the school at 7pm sharp.
Here's what I've got for each day, in case you can not read the chart.
1/22/17
Breakfast: Donuts
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: Pizza
1/23/17
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Soup & Salad
Dinner: Hamburgers
Snack: Lollipops
1/24/17 *
Breakfast: Donuts
Lunch: Veggie Stew
Dinner: Chicken Nuggets (for kids); Chicken and Rice (with Indian sauce from Aldi's) and Green beans
Snack: Cookies
1/25/17
Breakfast: Muffins/Waffles
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: Out
Snack: Lollipops
1/26/17
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Veggie Stew
Dinner: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas
Snack: Brownies
1/27/17
Breakfast: Eggs, toast, etc.
Lunch: Sandwiches
Dinner: Tatertot bake
Snack: Brownies
1/28/17
Breakfast: Cereal/Donuts
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: To Be Determined
Snack: Crackers
* Tuesday's breakfast was switched with Wednesday's because the donuts I have are not likely to last that long. I may also have to change the plan to make chicken and rice for Beloved and I because it looks like I used the last of the chicken over the weekend.
The vegetable stew that I am going to make (and freeze some of for next week's lunches for myself) is from the Campbell's cookbook. They have it up on their website. Link HERE. I find this to be filling by itself. It is also really good with fresh bread.
My goal is to bake a loaf of bread on Thursday. I figure I can get that done in the afternoon or in the morning. If I am slick about it, maybe I can manage to do that fancy no knead bread. The last time I made it, it went really fast. I was lucky to get a few pieces of it before the guys ate it all. I highly recommend this recipe. And the technique used to bake it. It seriously was one of the best loaves of bread I have ever made.
This is not half so neat and tidy as the first one I posted. I suppose you could say that life happened here. Looking at this week's menu chart, you will notice that Wednesday the 25th is highlighted. This is because that day is Cuddle Bear's first chorus concert. So, dinner is going to be out of the house. It is probably going to be at McDonald's or something. Because the kids love going to McDonald's and it is inexpensive. Dinner is not going to be happen at the usual time either, because we have to be at the school at 7pm sharp.
Here's what I've got for each day, in case you can not read the chart.
1/22/17
Breakfast: Donuts
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: Pizza
1/23/17
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Soup & Salad
Dinner: Hamburgers
Snack: Lollipops
1/24/17 *
Breakfast: Donuts
Lunch: Veggie Stew
Dinner: Chicken Nuggets (for kids); Chicken and Rice (with Indian sauce from Aldi's) and Green beans
Snack: Cookies
1/25/17
Breakfast: Muffins/Waffles
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: Out
Snack: Lollipops
1/26/17
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Veggie Stew
Dinner: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas
Snack: Brownies
1/27/17
Breakfast: Eggs, toast, etc.
Lunch: Sandwiches
Dinner: Tatertot bake
Snack: Brownies
1/28/17
Breakfast: Cereal/Donuts
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: To Be Determined
Snack: Crackers
* Tuesday's breakfast was switched with Wednesday's because the donuts I have are not likely to last that long. I may also have to change the plan to make chicken and rice for Beloved and I because it looks like I used the last of the chicken over the weekend.
The vegetable stew that I am going to make (and freeze some of for next week's lunches for myself) is from the Campbell's cookbook. They have it up on their website. Link HERE. I find this to be filling by itself. It is also really good with fresh bread.
My goal is to bake a loaf of bread on Thursday. I figure I can get that done in the afternoon or in the morning. If I am slick about it, maybe I can manage to do that fancy no knead bread. The last time I made it, it went really fast. I was lucky to get a few pieces of it before the guys ate it all. I highly recommend this recipe. And the technique used to bake it. It seriously was one of the best loaves of bread I have ever made.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Make do and mend.
I started out using those iron on patches. They are an ok temporary fix. I then started using the patches that are sewn on. I tried sewing from the right side of the fabric and from the wrong side of it. I tried doubling the patches over. They kept ripping out. I tried fabric glue, but that doesn't work too great.
I also repaired one of my favorite pairs of mittens. It is a commercially knit pair of mittens that are partly fingerless gloves and they have a flap for the mitten part to go over the fingers. The join where the thumb meets the back of the hand was coming apart. So, I took out my red acrylic yarn (the one with the smooth texture rather than the scratchy one) and darned that. I learned from when I had to darn one of the boy's mitten's last winter, when I do the weaving go over it initially in that plain weave of vertical and horizontal. Then, do another weave through it at a 45 degree angle before weaving in my ends. It makes for a much more solid fabric.
All of the darning I have been doing this evening has been done with a blunt tapestry needle. It was a bit more work to push it through the denim but I think that the long term pay out of having the yarn for the patch rather than thread is worth the passing frustration. Also, doing my mending by hand right now is cost effective. I have a Singer and an off brand miniature sewing machine (intended for kids). The Singer needs to get repaired. The off brand miniature machine doesn't have the strength to punch through multiple layers of felt. I don't think it would have the gusto to go through denim, never mind the additional work I would have had to do in opening up the seam, the repair, and then restitching the seam. So, I am darning things by hand.
Friday, January 20, 2017
Fiction Friday: Unsheathed.
They told me that I had to stay behind lines. They told me that I had to remain safe. They told me that I couldn't fight.
Then the front line failed. Then the route started. People were pelting through the camp with naked terror in their faces. Generals gave up on the rally before it was even attempted. Support wasn't happening. It was every soul for themselves as the wave of death came forward.
I could have ran, but where was I going to run. I did what any person with blood in their veins would, I stood.
I am not sure where it began. I don't even remember how I got the sword. Somehow I went from standing at the cook fire with a pot to throwing a burning branch into a man's face as he grasped at me while I was opening another's guts with three feet of cold steel. I had the fire at my back and a screaming horde before me.
The world turned red. A scream like the fury of all the gods came from somewhere, I didn't realize until later it was my own voice. As I was in the battle madness, bodies fell before me and men began to come to my call, following me forward. I came out of the madness when my own man's face came before me. The sword in my hand was slick with blood and jagged where the edge had chipped on shields. Pieces of flesh and hair was stuck in those broken pieces that I didn't remember where they came from.
But, my man stood before me, the noise of war behind him. The foe was in flight, our own after them. And I knew in that moment, I was born to the sword. Thus, I earned my names, red brand and shield breaker. My man, he gave me honors due to me and now I stand at his right hand. The others of the village are wary but they listen when I speak now.
I was given my own insignia by the earl. A red sword. My man wears my ensign. I hear whispers that I am the Falcon come again. I know not if it is true. I only know that I am feared when I bear a blade unsheathed.
It is power that is my due.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Written while listening to The Glitch Mob's cover of Seven Nation Army.
Then the front line failed. Then the route started. People were pelting through the camp with naked terror in their faces. Generals gave up on the rally before it was even attempted. Support wasn't happening. It was every soul for themselves as the wave of death came forward.
I could have ran, but where was I going to run. I did what any person with blood in their veins would, I stood.
I am not sure where it began. I don't even remember how I got the sword. Somehow I went from standing at the cook fire with a pot to throwing a burning branch into a man's face as he grasped at me while I was opening another's guts with three feet of cold steel. I had the fire at my back and a screaming horde before me.
The world turned red. A scream like the fury of all the gods came from somewhere, I didn't realize until later it was my own voice. As I was in the battle madness, bodies fell before me and men began to come to my call, following me forward. I came out of the madness when my own man's face came before me. The sword in my hand was slick with blood and jagged where the edge had chipped on shields. Pieces of flesh and hair was stuck in those broken pieces that I didn't remember where they came from.
But, my man stood before me, the noise of war behind him. The foe was in flight, our own after them. And I knew in that moment, I was born to the sword. Thus, I earned my names, red brand and shield breaker. My man, he gave me honors due to me and now I stand at his right hand. The others of the village are wary but they listen when I speak now.
I was given my own insignia by the earl. A red sword. My man wears my ensign. I hear whispers that I am the Falcon come again. I know not if it is true. I only know that I am feared when I bear a blade unsheathed.
It is power that is my due.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Written while listening to The Glitch Mob's cover of Seven Nation Army.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Yarn stuff.
So, I spent my morning doing crochet and using up yarn scraps. Today, it was cotton yarn scraps. I made a washcloth. You may not be able to tell, but it is based off of the concept of the Log Cabin quilt square. The first 'block' of the thing was a square of single crochet six stitches long by six rows high. I then made the second block another six stitches by six rows. After this, I made a block of twelve stitches by six rows.
The next block was 12 x 12. The following block was 24 x 12. The next block was 24 x 12. The final block was 48 x 24. I then did the edging first round in single crochet followed by two rounds of moss stitch. My joins were done by the method of drawing the first loop of the new color through the final stitch of the previous color. It's basically how you join things so that you don't have to double up your yarn for the stitches or tie knots. I then did single crochet over the two inches of the two ends. I almost had enough of the outer most yarn to do three rounds of the moss stitch. I was about three inches short of what I needed to finish that final round.
While it came out a bit bigger than the other washcloths I made last week, I think it is still pretty good. Beloved thinks it is pretty awesome because of all the clashing colors. I don't think I mind them, to be honest, though. There is enough division with the solid colors that that I can look past how they contrast. I think I will be using the Log Cabin crochet block to make a couple of pillows or something next. I like how it worked up so easily.
I am still spinning up the thread in that rainbow colorway. I think the total time I got in spinning over the last week is about an hour. I am going to try to remedy that. My goal is to spin at least 15 minutes every day. Partly because I want to get through this fiber. And, partly, because I want to make some headway into the rather large pile of fiber I have amassed this way I can justify buying more when Fiber Fest comes in September.
This week, the spinning guild meets. I will be bringing my spindle and fiber. This is the week of the silent auction. I'm not sure what goodies I will see there. I am, however, going to bring the drawer pull spindles I have made to add to the pile of stuff that is offered. Before I get that far, however, I want to decorate them a bit. I am also going to see if I can manage to add some weight with the washers that I picked up at the hardware store a little while back. If I can accomplish that, it will be a nice little feather in my cap.
The next block was 12 x 12. The following block was 24 x 12. The next block was 24 x 12. The final block was 48 x 24. I then did the edging first round in single crochet followed by two rounds of moss stitch. My joins were done by the method of drawing the first loop of the new color through the final stitch of the previous color. It's basically how you join things so that you don't have to double up your yarn for the stitches or tie knots. I then did single crochet over the two inches of the two ends. I almost had enough of the outer most yarn to do three rounds of the moss stitch. I was about three inches short of what I needed to finish that final round.
While it came out a bit bigger than the other washcloths I made last week, I think it is still pretty good. Beloved thinks it is pretty awesome because of all the clashing colors. I don't think I mind them, to be honest, though. There is enough division with the solid colors that that I can look past how they contrast. I think I will be using the Log Cabin crochet block to make a couple of pillows or something next. I like how it worked up so easily.
I am still spinning up the thread in that rainbow colorway. I think the total time I got in spinning over the last week is about an hour. I am going to try to remedy that. My goal is to spin at least 15 minutes every day. Partly because I want to get through this fiber. And, partly, because I want to make some headway into the rather large pile of fiber I have amassed this way I can justify buying more when Fiber Fest comes in September.
This week, the spinning guild meets. I will be bringing my spindle and fiber. This is the week of the silent auction. I'm not sure what goodies I will see there. I am, however, going to bring the drawer pull spindles I have made to add to the pile of stuff that is offered. Before I get that far, however, I want to decorate them a bit. I am also going to see if I can manage to add some weight with the washers that I picked up at the hardware store a little while back. If I can accomplish that, it will be a nice little feather in my cap.
Monday, January 16, 2017
Spoon deficit.
Today has been a very long day. The boys were home from school for the day. As a result, we had pretty much chaos from when they got up to when they went to bed. The apartment has gone through two full cycles of clean everything and then destroy all order.
As a result, I am operating a bit behind the curve right now. I got two washcloths finished. I DO NOT RECOMMEND the Scrubby yarn from Coats and Clark. It is as bad as eyelash yarn. I have a really hard time seeing where I am making stitches. It was really difficult. I knitted the smaller one and the larger I made via Tunisian crochet. It is just a simple square with a loop added on at the end in one corner from basic chain crochet.
I will attempt to post this week's menu tomorrow. I will be sort of doing all the things tomorrow as well. In the morning, I have an appointment with the allergist to do a food challenge. We're trying to determine if I am indeed allergic to salmon. I am struggling with a great deal of anxiety over this. It is unpleasant. I get to be there for 3 to 4 hours. I am planning on bringing my writing stuff to continue my work to get things organized. Who knows how successful I will be, I know I don't know.
I apologize that I don't have the menu post for you this week. Please bear with me as I strive to get things sorted out over the next day or so.
As a result, I am operating a bit behind the curve right now. I got two washcloths finished. I DO NOT RECOMMEND the Scrubby yarn from Coats and Clark. It is as bad as eyelash yarn. I have a really hard time seeing where I am making stitches. It was really difficult. I knitted the smaller one and the larger I made via Tunisian crochet. It is just a simple square with a loop added on at the end in one corner from basic chain crochet.
I will attempt to post this week's menu tomorrow. I will be sort of doing all the things tomorrow as well. In the morning, I have an appointment with the allergist to do a food challenge. We're trying to determine if I am indeed allergic to salmon. I am struggling with a great deal of anxiety over this. It is unpleasant. I get to be there for 3 to 4 hours. I am planning on bringing my writing stuff to continue my work to get things organized. Who knows how successful I will be, I know I don't know.
I apologize that I don't have the menu post for you this week. Please bear with me as I strive to get things sorted out over the next day or so.
Labels:
food,
handcraft,
knitting/crochet,
rambling,
what we did today
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Making Changes: Wk 2 - Organize MORE!
I am finding that the work I did last week to get my mental health journal straightened out has been really helpful. I am also finding that the work I have been doing on my daily planning binder is working out well for me too. I have unearthed everything for my printer. I will be testing to see if I can even hook it up to my lap top and if my ink cartridges still work. With luck, everything will work properly.
I have been steadily working my way through my notebooks and organizing my materials. Reformatting my divination notebook has me wondering if I need to just scrap going over things in paper on that front and switch to digital. I am seriously debating setting up a database to track my divination notes. I want to do a better job of keeping that organized as I get back into the practice of doing tarot readings again. I still haven't decided if I am going to be doing them for hire again. I have left my Keen site set up, this way I still have this option open. I just don't want to put myself in the position of over exerting myself when I should be focusing on other things.
My planning materials for writing are slowly taking shape. I have the planning stuff for one blog taken care of (mostly). I still have to draw up the charts for tracking things like blog views and determine what good goals are. I am honestly unsure what good goals are for blog views and what not. I am also questioning if I should be focusing on numbers or if I should be focusing on content.
I have a copy of Artful Blogging. It is an awful pretty magazine. But the recommendations are .. well, they're self-contradictory. One person says focus on numbers and another person says focus on content. And then yet another person says focus on what you feel. It is all very confusing. I feel like I am looking for rules where there are none.
My notebook/binder for handcrafts is still a mess. I have done more notation about what I have been making on my blog than I have been in there. I think this is because the thing is a mess and I am still trying to finish a knitting project that is in it. Trying to schedule my day to make time for handcrafts whilst schedule new projects to make for Yule this year is getting frustrating. So, I am probably going to sit down with Beloved and try to make sense of it all with him.
I have been steadily working my way through my notebooks and organizing my materials. Reformatting my divination notebook has me wondering if I need to just scrap going over things in paper on that front and switch to digital. I am seriously debating setting up a database to track my divination notes. I want to do a better job of keeping that organized as I get back into the practice of doing tarot readings again. I still haven't decided if I am going to be doing them for hire again. I have left my Keen site set up, this way I still have this option open. I just don't want to put myself in the position of over exerting myself when I should be focusing on other things.
My planning materials for writing are slowly taking shape. I have the planning stuff for one blog taken care of (mostly). I still have to draw up the charts for tracking things like blog views and determine what good goals are. I am honestly unsure what good goals are for blog views and what not. I am also questioning if I should be focusing on numbers or if I should be focusing on content.
I have a copy of Artful Blogging. It is an awful pretty magazine. But the recommendations are .. well, they're self-contradictory. One person says focus on numbers and another person says focus on content. And then yet another person says focus on what you feel. It is all very confusing. I feel like I am looking for rules where there are none.
My notebook/binder for handcrafts is still a mess. I have done more notation about what I have been making on my blog than I have been in there. I think this is because the thing is a mess and I am still trying to finish a knitting project that is in it. Trying to schedule my day to make time for handcrafts whilst schedule new projects to make for Yule this year is getting frustrating. So, I am probably going to sit down with Beloved and try to make sense of it all with him.
Patterns! Unicorn Poop Coffee Cup Cozy & Heart Trivet
So, I decided I was going to make something for a friend of mine when I saw this absolutely awesome yarn at the store yesterday. The yarn is from Peaches and Cream. It is called Candy Sprinkles. It is a rainbow pastel space dyed cotton yarn typically used for washcloths. I used it to make a coffee cup cozy and a heart shaped trivet.
Now, the choice of cotton yarn may sound a little odd for a coffee cozy. This, however, is based in SCIENCE! A few years back, I was part of a group on Ravelry for science oriented yarn nerds. We did a casual study to figure out what type of yarn was most effective for retaining heat (and cold). There was no standardized pattern used. Everyone made their own patterns.
We had knitted material and crochet. I think someone did weave something too, but I'm not entirely sure. We all did samples from cotton, acrylic, and wool. Some used commercially produced yarn (ie from a company like Caron) and others used handspun yarn. I was one of the people who used commercially produced yarn. One thing that consistently was proven was that dry cotton did the best job for insulation. As a result, I now make my coffee cup cozies only with cotton.
This cozy is crochet. I used a sized F (3.75 mm) hook. The yarn is a size 4 yarn. The ribbon for the ties is rayon and 1 mm wide. This is a simple rectangle. I chained 44 stitches for my starting row. I then worked three rows of single crochet. After this, I worked 11 rows of Linen stitch (also known as Moss stitch or Granite stitch). I worked three rows of single crochet and then one row of slip stitch. Down the side of the rectangle, I did a chain of seven stitches and the slip stitched it into place at three intervals. I then did ten single crochets into each chain loop, doing a single crochet where each was fixed to the side of the cozy. I fastened off when I came back to the top edge where I started making my loops and wove my ends in. I then secured a three inch length of ribbon where each loop was at its greatest elongation over the other edge when it was against it. Each ribbon was slipped through a stitch and secured with a square knot. Then, the loop was laid over it and tied down with a simple bow.
The heart trivet was something I backwards engineered based off of something I saw on Pinterest. I then adapted it a little. In starting it again, I think I would use a foundation half double crochet instead of foundation single crochet. Aside from that, it was really straight forward.
Foundation row has seven stitches. First through fourth row have seven half double crochet. Fifth row has seven half double crochet and then I chained seven stitches. Next five rows has fourteen half double crochet. I then did two rows of single crochet around the edging, starting at the bottom point. At each outward pointing corner, I did three single crochet in the point of the corner. At the inward pointing corner, I did a decrease on the first row and then a slip stitch on the second row. I slip stitched the end stitches of the two rows to the first stitches of the row (the slip stitch being the third of that cluster for the corner). I wove in my ends and this was the result.
Now, the choice of cotton yarn may sound a little odd for a coffee cozy. This, however, is based in SCIENCE! A few years back, I was part of a group on Ravelry for science oriented yarn nerds. We did a casual study to figure out what type of yarn was most effective for retaining heat (and cold). There was no standardized pattern used. Everyone made their own patterns.
We had knitted material and crochet. I think someone did weave something too, but I'm not entirely sure. We all did samples from cotton, acrylic, and wool. Some used commercially produced yarn (ie from a company like Caron) and others used handspun yarn. I was one of the people who used commercially produced yarn. One thing that consistently was proven was that dry cotton did the best job for insulation. As a result, I now make my coffee cup cozies only with cotton.
The heart trivet was something I backwards engineered based off of something I saw on Pinterest. I then adapted it a little. In starting it again, I think I would use a foundation half double crochet instead of foundation single crochet. Aside from that, it was really straight forward.
Foundation row has seven stitches. First through fourth row have seven half double crochet. Fifth row has seven half double crochet and then I chained seven stitches. Next five rows has fourteen half double crochet. I then did two rows of single crochet around the edging, starting at the bottom point. At each outward pointing corner, I did three single crochet in the point of the corner. At the inward pointing corner, I did a decrease on the first row and then a slip stitch on the second row. I slip stitched the end stitches of the two rows to the first stitches of the row (the slip stitch being the third of that cluster for the corner). I wove in my ends and this was the result.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Fiction Friday: Fight with Fire.
Harker walked down the alley, pulling the collar of his jacket up to ward off the cold.His wiry black hair was tousled by the wind and managed to catch enough of the vapor in the air from the mist to send a few drops down the back of his neck. Ahead of him, the man he was supposed to meet stood next to an exceptionally well restored nineteen sixty five muscle car. The man's face was turned away from the light.
The light from the streetlamp near by gleamed orange off of the man's black leather drover's coat, making it look like a vertical oil slick. "You're early," the man standing by the car said, pulling a steel lighter out of the depths of his coat. He flicked it once. Despite the wind, the lighter flared to life. The man with the lighter had a face that someone may have described angelic once, if it wasn't for the scars about his mouth. His hair was the color of hammered copper in sunlight, or maybe sparks. Harker wasn't sure. All he knew was that this man had a job for him.
"My mother taught me it was important to be prompt for business meetings. My father taught me that meant five minutes early if you're running late and ten if you're on time," Harker answered. The other man took a pull off of his cigarette. The end thrust into the flame flared brightly. There was a faint blue flicker around the edge of it. Then the brief flash of light died down to a dull glow. In that brief moment, however, Harker saw eyes that were green as glass and as cold as the harbor's winter waters a mere quarter of a mile away.
"You're a man of business, then?" the other said with his words in a decidedly dragonesque puff of smoke.
"That's why you called me, isn't it?" Harker answered. Something at the back of his mind said that he was on treacherously thin ice in dealing with this man, but the pay promised was enough that Harker was pretty sure he could just leave the game. Harker was getting tired of being a hatchet man for the highest bidder.
"So it is," the smoker answered, turning towards the back door of the bar just beside him, "Come, have a drink with me. I will give you one last chance to walk away from this job."
"Brandt doesn't let people smoke in his bar," Harker said. The red haired man looked over his shoulder at Harker. He smirked. It was a look that made Harker decidedly uncomfortable.
"Brandt will make an exception for me. He's been expecting me." As the smoking man walked into the bar, a wall of noise came out the door with a waft of hot air. For a moment, Harker could have sworn that the red haired man looked to be over seven feet tall. The hit man shook his head, deciding it had to be a trick of the light. He followed his prospective employer through the establishment to the end of the bar that was closest to the side they came in from.
Brandt turned, waving a big hand at the slender man in the black leather coat. "Put that damn thing ..." His words died on his lips when he looked at the scarred man sitting at the end of his bar. Elegant hands were folded primly before him and resting on the stained hickory bar. His features were sharp, elfin almost. A ragged series of scars were over his mouth, crossing his lips as though someone had cut through them. Brandt, who was already pretty pale because of his Norwegian blood, blanched as the scarred man gave a smirk. There was something cruel in his expression that made Brandt, who was a fairly big man, look like he was about to beg the school bully to just take his lunch money rather than kicking him in the stones.
Brandt bent over and pulled out a bottle from the hidden depths of his cupboard. He put three shot glasses down before the scarred man. As he poured out the shots, his hand shook. Brandt left the bottle beside the shot glasses. The scarred man looked over at Harker. "That one is for you," he said, pointing at the third shot glass. Harker glanced at the bottle and blinked in surprise. Sitting on the counter where just anyone could walk off with it was a bottle of scotch older than his father. "Drink," his prospective employer ordered. The scarred man had finished his shot in the time that Harker was looking at the bottle and seemed to have finished the other as well. Now, he looked at Harker with those emotionless eyes. Feeling as though he was being watched by something like a snake, Harker threw back the shot. He swallowed reflexively. Then he started coughing and his eyes watered almost instantaneously.
"You are a man of business," the other said as he turned his attention back to the bottle, "My business is change. I have need of a man like you. Someone who will do the job and not worry about little details like what opinions people would have of it." He filled up the empty shot glass to the right of his hand, the one before him, and then Harker's. "Brandt needs a reminder why he should not ask me to do ... petty things," the green eyed man said.
"Then why don't you tell him?" Harker said, gesturing towards Brandt, who was at the other end of the bar paying a great deal of attention to a drunk woman's breasts that were propped up just before him on the polished hickory.
"Because Brandt has a bad memory," the other replied, "You are going to make his memory more effective."
Harker looked over. The green eyed man pulled the lighter out of his pocket. The steel looked more like silver. On one side there was the head of a howling wolf. On the other, a female grim reaper with a serpent wrapped around her. He put it in front of Harker.
"Finish your drink. Then, put this to use," the green eyed man said. Harker looked over at him in surprise.
"This place is full of people," he hissed at the green eyed man. The other nodded.
"Better pull the alarm on the way out then," he said, "Brandt's bullshit killed at least double this number in Serbia. His name isn't even Brandt. He came here and changed his name. Underneath that shirt, he's got himself a swastika and a valknut. My name is tattooed into his left shoulder. He said that I was going to keep his business pure of those dykes, fags, and queers." The word 'pure' was sneered and turned into an insult that even Harker couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with.
Harker looked down at the lighter. The man at his right leaned closer and muttered in his ear, "They're my people. He killed them. Tonight, he pays. And you, Aleksander Harker, were looking for a way to do justice. You know that Tyr scorns you. He spits on your name for what you've done. You and me, we're a like. We do what gets the job done. Damn what they think is proper. Sometimes, eggs, skulls, and rules need broken. Finish your drink and then do your fucking job."
Harker looked over as the other stood up and walked out the way he had entered into the building. Brandt looked at Harker as though he was a bomb waiting to go off. He thought about his brother, Jan. Jan who was beaten to death for being gay. Jan who insisted that the world was a better place because he was finally able to go off to college, to Russia where his husband's second cousin lived.
Harker drank his scotch. He picked up the bottle of fifty year old scotch and walked away from the bar. He passed by a closet between the restrooms. There was a hum of electrical equipment in there. Harker shoulder checked the door and it swung inward. He looked around the room. Wiring was exposed. Even to his untrained eye, it was a fire trap waiting to happen. The brown paper of the fiberglass packaging was sticking out between the support braces of the small room. He thought about Jan. He leaned forward, holding the bottle near his hips. Someone walking by simply thought he was urinating. After pouring about half of the bottle on the floor beside the nearest bit of exposed insulation, Harker touched the lit flame of the lighter to the brown paper. He snapped the lighter shut and stuck it into his pocket as the tiny spark soon was a little burning flame almost the size of a quarter.
As he rolled around the door, he put the bottle to his mouth and did a passable imitation of a drunkard's stagger. He reeled past a fire alarm. Seemingly stumbling into the wall, he pulled down on it. The alarm blared as the faint scent of smoke came from the closet. Harker emerged from the building to find his employer standing beside the car. "That the first part of your job, Aleksander," he said, "Now, you're going to come with me. We have work to do."
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Fiber, Fluff, and stuff.
Not the best pic, but this is the beginnings of a center panel for a sweater I've decided I'm going to make. The colorway is Sunset. The yarn is Caron's Simply Soft Paints. It is sport weight acrylic. I have several balls of brown that matches the brown in this colorway. I'm going to use them for the rest of the sweater. I'm aiming for a simple pull over the head sweater.
It's probably going to look boxy, but whatever. I'm making this with out a pattern.
If you can't tell, this is supposed to be something like that planned color pooling where it comes out with an argyle pattern. I don't quite have that happening, but maybe after some more rows it will emerge. I don't know. I'm going to make one for the front and one for the back. This right here is one ball. I am using the Granite stitch. I am using a size H hook. My gauge is approximately 10 stitches per inch and 5 rows per inch. So far, the stitch has been really easy to use. I find it kinda relaxing and pleasant to work on.
I used it and the end of a ball of blue-grey-white variegated cotton yarn to make a pair of wash cloths. The stitches worked up really easily. I also think that the argyle effect was more pronounced. I am pretty sure that was due to a difference in the spacing of the way it was dyed. I probably will need to adjust my tension or something with the acrylic one I'm working with. I'm enjoying the let's make something looking complicated from space dyed yarn.
I am trying to spin my spaced dyed wool so that I could maybe eventually do that with it. I don't think I'm going to have as much success, though. I only got about 20 minutes of spinning done this week. I'm using my little Turkish spindle and the rainbow dyed roving that my mother in law gave me for yule two years ago. I am also using my little pink wrist distaff.
It's nothing exciting, but it may become something so eventually, right?
It's probably going to look boxy, but whatever. I'm making this with out a pattern.
If you can't tell, this is supposed to be something like that planned color pooling where it comes out with an argyle pattern. I don't quite have that happening, but maybe after some more rows it will emerge. I don't know. I'm going to make one for the front and one for the back. This right here is one ball. I am using the Granite stitch. I am using a size H hook. My gauge is approximately 10 stitches per inch and 5 rows per inch. So far, the stitch has been really easy to use. I find it kinda relaxing and pleasant to work on.
I used it and the end of a ball of blue-grey-white variegated cotton yarn to make a pair of wash cloths. The stitches worked up really easily. I also think that the argyle effect was more pronounced. I am pretty sure that was due to a difference in the spacing of the way it was dyed. I probably will need to adjust my tension or something with the acrylic one I'm working with. I'm enjoying the let's make something looking complicated from space dyed yarn.
It's nothing exciting, but it may become something so eventually, right?
Monday, January 09, 2017
Monday Menu!
A part of my doing new stuff is that I'm going to start sharing my menu for the week on Mondays. I have two reasons for doing this. One is it helps me remember to write it up Saturday evening. Two, it helps me remember to check it for the week on Monday, this way I know what to get out of the freezer to thaw out.
Here's the menu for this week.
In case you can't read my handwriting here's what I've got there.
Sunday: breakfast - chocolate donuts; lunch - sandwiches; dinner - pizza (We do homemade pizza.)
Monday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - salad & soup; dinner - cheese burgers & carrot salad (recipe below)
Tuesday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - soup; dinner - tatertot bake with ham & peas (recipe is on my Pinterest page. will link HERE.)
Wednesday: breakfast - muffins (I have a mix for apple muffins.); lunch - salad & sandwich; dinner - spaghetti with meat balls, salad, garlic bread
Thursday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - leftovers; dinner - shake-n-bake chicken, mashed potatoes (instant), broccoli
Friday:breakfast - eggs, bacon, biscuits & gravy; lunch - leftovers; dinner - meatloaf, mashed sweet potatoes, wilted spinach salad (this is on my Pinterest page, link HERE.)
Saturday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - leftovers; dinner - chicken paprikash, egg noodles, brussels sprouts (the chicken paprikash recipe is from my late aunt Shawn, I have it in a cookbook here. I'll ask my aunt Adrian if I can share it.)
♥ RECIPES ♥
Carrot Salad (I got this from my Mom. We had it all the time when I was a kid.)
5lbs carrots, cleaned, peeled and grated
1 cup raisins
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup whipped salad dressing
In a large bowl, mix together until everything is well coated. Chill in the refrigerator for 10 to 15 minutes before serving. Serves 5-7 people
It doesn't freeze that great. If you save it in the fridge, you will want to eat it within a few days. Otherwise, the stuff will get a little soupy as the water comes out of the carrots as it sits.
Here's the menu for this week.
In case you can't read my handwriting here's what I've got there.
Sunday: breakfast - chocolate donuts; lunch - sandwiches; dinner - pizza (We do homemade pizza.)
Monday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - salad & soup; dinner - cheese burgers & carrot salad (recipe below)
Tuesday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - soup; dinner - tatertot bake with ham & peas (recipe is on my Pinterest page. will link HERE.)
Wednesday: breakfast - muffins (I have a mix for apple muffins.); lunch - salad & sandwich; dinner - spaghetti with meat balls, salad, garlic bread
Thursday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - leftovers; dinner - shake-n-bake chicken, mashed potatoes (instant), broccoli
Friday:breakfast - eggs, bacon, biscuits & gravy; lunch - leftovers; dinner - meatloaf, mashed sweet potatoes, wilted spinach salad (this is on my Pinterest page, link HERE.)
Saturday: breakfast - cereal; lunch - leftovers; dinner - chicken paprikash, egg noodles, brussels sprouts (the chicken paprikash recipe is from my late aunt Shawn, I have it in a cookbook here. I'll ask my aunt Adrian if I can share it.)
♥ RECIPES ♥
Carrot Salad (I got this from my Mom. We had it all the time when I was a kid.)
5lbs carrots, cleaned, peeled and grated
1 cup raisins
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup whipped salad dressing
In a large bowl, mix together until everything is well coated. Chill in the refrigerator for 10 to 15 minutes before serving. Serves 5-7 people
It doesn't freeze that great. If you save it in the fridge, you will want to eat it within a few days. Otherwise, the stuff will get a little soupy as the water comes out of the carrots as it sits.
Sunday, January 08, 2017
As an aside ...
A part of me feels a bit foolish that I am sitting here using pen and paper to organize everything when I have the wonderful resources of the internet and technology at my fingertips. Am I really a Luddite? I honestly don't know.
In other news, Beloved bought me a pair of Skullcandy headphones. I couldn't figure out why they weren't working right. Then he showed me that I had to have the cord plugged in until it clicked.
Yep, you read that right, I was stymied by a damn cord.
I fear for when my phone gets upgraded. With my luck, I'll hit the wrong button and nuke Alaska or fire off some orbital cannon and burn my text message into some poor farmer field. Because, firing death rays into corn field to ask someone to pick up a gallon of milk is an actual risk in the future, I am sure.
In other news, Beloved bought me a pair of Skullcandy headphones. I couldn't figure out why they weren't working right. Then he showed me that I had to have the cord plugged in until it clicked.
Yep, you read that right, I was stymied by a damn cord.
I fear for when my phone gets upgraded. With my luck, I'll hit the wrong button and nuke Alaska or fire off some orbital cannon and burn my text message into some poor farmer field. Because, firing death rays into corn field to ask someone to pick up a gallon of milk is an actual risk in the future, I am sure.
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HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR STEAK DONE? (image from Fallout?) |
Saturday, January 07, 2017
Making Changes: Wk 1 - Organize.
So, I have decided that I need to make changes in my life. I have been disorganized and neglecting a good number of things because of this. I have sit down and reworked my mental health journal. I have a monthly page set up for tracking habits and symptoms. It is a large grid. Across the x-axis, I have the dates noted with a single initial for the date of the week (ie: M for Monday, T for Tuesday, etc.) and then on the line beneath it is the numeral for the date. On the y-axis, I have the things that I am keeping track of.
If you look at this picture to the right, you will see how I have things oriented on the page. I highlighted Sundays because it was difficult for me to discern what day was what with out it. You may also note that at the head of the graph, I have a note stating what month it is for.
And yes, I know, I oriented everything differently than what most would expect. This, however works best for me.
If you look at this second image of the two pages above, you will see that I have a key written down. This helps me track what is going on and such. It is a re-working of the bullets suggested for most bullet journals.
I also have an affirmation for the month. The last space open on this two page layout notes what important dates are coming up during the month. This way I remember that I have appointments with my psychiatrist and such.
I also have weekly lay outs between the monthly ones. These pages are different from the typical bullet journal style pages. Most of the bullet journals that I have seen, the weekly/daily pages are set up for to-do lists and such. Mine in this journal are instead focused upon taking short notes about major details about the day. On the left hand page,I have my week noted down. The week is written down as a heading for the page. Each day then has a block assigned to it with the day of the week and the date (written in numerical month . date format). In a given day's block, I have any appointments for that day written down in colored ink. Then, the remainder of the block is used to note major details about symptoms, medications taken, and things like if I had a cold or was on my menses.
Along the y-axis, I have the "To Do List" for the day, then I have a section for my calls, above this is a pair of blocks for my morning and afternoon time. On the x-axis, I divided everything up as equally as I could manage. As a result, I have eight columns. The columns 1-7 are for the seven days of the week. Column 8 has a section for notes. Then it has a section for noting what bills are due that week. This is where I would note what bill is due, the date, and amount. I would also have a checkbox to note if it got paid.
On the opposite side of the page, things are in a similar layout physically. I just copied the boxes to the other side of the page. The x-axis the generally the same except for column eight. In the bottom two boxes, I have a space to note what my total spending on groceries was for the week and a note what that number means. The top row are my menu planning for breakfasts. The second row is my menu planning for lunches. The third row is my menu planning for dinners. The fourth row are my notes about where to locate recipes and what sort of snacks I am doing on a given day.
I have been doing this format for my weekly planning for two weeks now. It seems to be working better for me. It also helps me to stay on top of things like my grocery lists and such. On the side of the page that is for noting appointments and stuff, I did add a small couple of things. If a day has a bill due, aside from the note in the 'bills due' section, I also write a small $ on that date to remind me I need to pay something. On pay days, I write a small $ to help me keep track of that. My hope is that this will get me to where I am no longer having anxiety attacks over what bills need paid.
I am also presently in the process of figuring out what other sections I should add to my binder to have it make more sense. I am seriously thinking that I should have a section where I keep track of finances. I don't know if my printer still works. If so, I am going to print off a few excel sheets to keep a running ledger. I am also going to revise and update the page that notes what bills we have. Thus, I will have a page with a list of who we have to pay, why we pay them, what the billing address is, the customer service number, the account number with them, the date the bill is due, and (if it isn't a variable amount) how much is due each month. I am also going to make a thing to note what I pay via web-banking and what I am using checks for. The ultimate goal is to migrate everything over to web-banking and (if possible) set everything up for automatic payments.
For me to be successful with that, however, I need to have a very good grasp on just how exactly money flows around here. Fortunately, Beloved is handling the savings side of things. He also sits down with me regularly to help make sure that my math is good. I'm going to see if we can schedule a day every two weeks or so to just check in on the finances stuff. I get super anxious about money stuff. Because he handles a lot of billing stuff at work, he gets burned out and runs out of the energy to focus upon that at home. Which is why I handle most of it. But, we're working towards keeping everything as organized as we can. This helps me with my anxiety and it helps him with his concerns about things like car payments being on time and such.
I am slowly compiling a section in my home organizing binder that lists the recipes for everything I make for dinner. It is a combination of writing down recipes from Pinterest that have become favorites (The tatertot casserole is a HUGE hit with the kids and we have it every Tuesday, regardless of the season.) and writing down recipes that I have always made and never really put much thought into. The last few months of being sick and having Beloved run most of the household made it pretty clear to both of us that having stuff written down in such a manner that it was all really straight forward would make life easier in the event that it happened that he had to take over dinner stuff.
I also, unfortunately, need to update the section of the home organizing binder that talks about health stuff. I have had thejoyfully enlightening experience that I have a fairly long list of medical allergies. So, I need to update that thing and write down all the medications I am allergic to, and my new food allergy. I am not pleased with this development, but I think it is something that I really should make sure is written down. My father in law suggested that I get a medical alert bracelet or something to note down my allergies. I'm thinking he's got a good idea but I don't know if it could fit the whole damn list. I need to figure out what the hell one is supposed to do when they suddenly have a list of allergies that are a 1/4 mile long.
And, on top of all of this stuff I am doing to try to make my home and such more organized, I am trying to figure out how to apply these organizational things to my writing. This is far slower going. I am researching several different methods of how to do so. I am setting my sights upon getting my work into order so that I can eventually start doing things like submitting stuff to magazines and what not. I am somewhat nervous, but I have told myself that this is the year I am going to sit down and take my work seriously. Part of my work is being a parent and keeping the household running. Part of my work is keeping myself healthy. And part of my work is building my writing career.
I have told myself that I am going to devote January to getting things set up and orderly. And then over the remainder of the first quarter of the year, I am going to make a concerted effort to keep myself on task and build the habits I need to be successful. Part of this is also going to require making sure that there is some flexibility built into it all because of the fact that I need to take into account the impact of my bipolar and related mental health problems. So, I am spending a whole month getting things set up and into place. If I take the time to do it right, I think I will be successful.
Also, I have a goal of posting in here once a week, at minimum. Three times a week was a little to ambitious. I have scaled it back to see if I can be more successful. In the meantime, I am going to focus on progress. Because Beloved is right when he says that progress is more important than having a pile of things I can point at and say 'I did THIS today.' It is kinder to treat myself as being successful when I get baby steps done rather than demanding I have a finished product in a stupidly short amount of time.
If you look at this picture to the right, you will see how I have things oriented on the page. I highlighted Sundays because it was difficult for me to discern what day was what with out it. You may also note that at the head of the graph, I have a note stating what month it is for.
And yes, I know, I oriented everything differently than what most would expect. This, however works best for me.
If you look at this second image of the two pages above, you will see that I have a key written down. This helps me track what is going on and such. It is a re-working of the bullets suggested for most bullet journals.
I also have an affirmation for the month. The last space open on this two page layout notes what important dates are coming up during the month. This way I remember that I have appointments with my psychiatrist and such.
I also have weekly lay outs between the monthly ones. These pages are different from the typical bullet journal style pages. Most of the bullet journals that I have seen, the weekly/daily pages are set up for to-do lists and such. Mine in this journal are instead focused upon taking short notes about major details about the day. On the left hand page,I have my week noted down. The week is written down as a heading for the page. Each day then has a block assigned to it with the day of the week and the date (written in numerical month . date format). In a given day's block, I have any appointments for that day written down in colored ink. Then, the remainder of the block is used to note major details about symptoms, medications taken, and things like if I had a cold or was on my menses.
On the right hand page of the weekly lay out, I have a section to write down notes about what I am grateful for. These are literally one line of detail, such as chocolate flavored tea (which is AMAZING, I found it at Walmart.) or my kids doing their homework with out a major fight. Below this, I have six lined sections. They each have a date notation. They are where I get into a bit more detail about my symptoms. So, if I had a hard time sleeping one night due to nightmares, I would note that. If on another day I had flashbacks, I would note that down and the trigger - if I recognized what the trigger was. Below this is a section for me to write down notes about medication. Thus, if I had a migraine on Tuesday, January 3rd, I would write that down and that I had take Aleve for it. Or if I had to take some Ativan because I had a panic attack, I would note that.
The final section is for my notes about appointments. I basically summarize what happened in my appointments that week. So, if I saw my psychiatrist, I would have a note about what changes were in medication or what we discussed. I would also note down when my next appointment is. I am probably going to be changing the format for the notes on the right hand page. I will likely be adding a line for the 7th day of the week in the symptom tracking section. So, that will probably change the size of the other two sections below it. As it stands right now, I think appointment notes will be losing two lines but with out any real problems coming from it.
I have been spending time over the last two weeks studying the whole bullet journal concept. I am in the process of applying it also for my home planning binder. I have my monthly calendar in there. After this, I had a check sheet for my daily chores. This was based off of what FLYLady had going on with her control journal concept. It sort of worked but I really needed something else. So, I have made weekly pages.
There are also two check boxes. One is for the list of stuff that Beloved is helping me be organized and do. We have discussed it and he has agreed to help keep me accountable for things like keeping track of my mental health stuff, getting exercise, and healthy eating (among a few other things but you get the idea). And because redundancy seems to help, I have a check box for if I completed everything on my mental health list. I think I'm going to be filling that in with tally marks.
I have been doing this format for my weekly planning for two weeks now. It seems to be working better for me. It also helps me to stay on top of things like my grocery lists and such. On the side of the page that is for noting appointments and stuff, I did add a small couple of things. If a day has a bill due, aside from the note in the 'bills due' section, I also write a small $ on that date to remind me I need to pay something. On pay days, I write a small $ to help me keep track of that. My hope is that this will get me to where I am no longer having anxiety attacks over what bills need paid.
I am also presently in the process of figuring out what other sections I should add to my binder to have it make more sense. I am seriously thinking that I should have a section where I keep track of finances. I don't know if my printer still works. If so, I am going to print off a few excel sheets to keep a running ledger. I am also going to revise and update the page that notes what bills we have. Thus, I will have a page with a list of who we have to pay, why we pay them, what the billing address is, the customer service number, the account number with them, the date the bill is due, and (if it isn't a variable amount) how much is due each month. I am also going to make a thing to note what I pay via web-banking and what I am using checks for. The ultimate goal is to migrate everything over to web-banking and (if possible) set everything up for automatic payments.
For me to be successful with that, however, I need to have a very good grasp on just how exactly money flows around here. Fortunately, Beloved is handling the savings side of things. He also sits down with me regularly to help make sure that my math is good. I'm going to see if we can schedule a day every two weeks or so to just check in on the finances stuff. I get super anxious about money stuff. Because he handles a lot of billing stuff at work, he gets burned out and runs out of the energy to focus upon that at home. Which is why I handle most of it. But, we're working towards keeping everything as organized as we can. This helps me with my anxiety and it helps him with his concerns about things like car payments being on time and such.
I am slowly compiling a section in my home organizing binder that lists the recipes for everything I make for dinner. It is a combination of writing down recipes from Pinterest that have become favorites (The tatertot casserole is a HUGE hit with the kids and we have it every Tuesday, regardless of the season.) and writing down recipes that I have always made and never really put much thought into. The last few months of being sick and having Beloved run most of the household made it pretty clear to both of us that having stuff written down in such a manner that it was all really straight forward would make life easier in the event that it happened that he had to take over dinner stuff.
I also, unfortunately, need to update the section of the home organizing binder that talks about health stuff. I have had the
And, on top of all of this stuff I am doing to try to make my home and such more organized, I am trying to figure out how to apply these organizational things to my writing. This is far slower going. I am researching several different methods of how to do so. I am setting my sights upon getting my work into order so that I can eventually start doing things like submitting stuff to magazines and what not. I am somewhat nervous, but I have told myself that this is the year I am going to sit down and take my work seriously. Part of my work is being a parent and keeping the household running. Part of my work is keeping myself healthy. And part of my work is building my writing career.
I have told myself that I am going to devote January to getting things set up and orderly. And then over the remainder of the first quarter of the year, I am going to make a concerted effort to keep myself on task and build the habits I need to be successful. Part of this is also going to require making sure that there is some flexibility built into it all because of the fact that I need to take into account the impact of my bipolar and related mental health problems. So, I am spending a whole month getting things set up and into place. If I take the time to do it right, I think I will be successful.
Also, I have a goal of posting in here once a week, at minimum. Three times a week was a little to ambitious. I have scaled it back to see if I can be more successful. In the meantime, I am going to focus on progress. Because Beloved is right when he says that progress is more important than having a pile of things I can point at and say 'I did THIS today.' It is kinder to treat myself as being successful when I get baby steps done rather than demanding I have a finished product in a stupidly short amount of time.
Monday, January 02, 2017
I have no idea what I am doing here.
Happy 2017, y'all. Trying to get my life organized. I have no idea how well this is going to work or what the hell I am doing.
Yay for adventure, right? Who knows, maybe I'll manage to get back to posting on a regular basis. In other news, I think hell is presently freezing over. And I am seriously considering adding whiskey to my coffee.
Thursday, December 22, 2016
T-3 days
I did not get any cooking done today. I did not make anything today. To be completely honest, it was a refreshing change of pace. I have been so busy crafting and worrying about getting stuff done in time, this break is pretty nice.
I will be making more white roses next week. I am going to learn a few more patterns for making them. Right now, what I have looks roughly like a dog rose. They're charming, but I want to do something else that looks closer to a tea rose. It may take some experimentation.
I have two things left to wrap. It is a curious feeling to be so close to done ahead of christmas eve.
I will be making more white roses next week. I am going to learn a few more patterns for making them. Right now, what I have looks roughly like a dog rose. They're charming, but I want to do something else that looks closer to a tea rose. It may take some experimentation.
I have two things left to wrap. It is a curious feeling to be so close to done ahead of christmas eve.
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Cookies in a Jar Pages.
So, I opened up the cupboard to start getting things out to put together into these jars. I'm sure you can imagine my dismay when I opened up a new bag of flour and found bugs in it. Now, this is partly my fault because I had left it just sitting in the cupboard for months unattended to. I may be asking Beloved to pick up another bag this evening on his way home from work. I'm not decided.
I am, however, going to post links to the cookie recipes that I was going to use. In case anyone else is in a last minute rush to get something semi-homemade out the door to people as a present.
Sugar Cookies
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Brownie Mix
I am, however, going to post links to the cookie recipes that I was going to use. In case anyone else is in a last minute rush to get something semi-homemade out the door to people as a present.
Sugar Cookies
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Brownie Mix
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Present for Present Present
So, over the last few days, I have been working my proverbial tail feathers off. I have finished making several things that were relatively labor intensive. I am now at the point where I am packaging gifts. I have a few cookies in a jar recipes to whip together. The chocolate chip one actually looked kinda good. I have a few reasons for the cookies in a jar thing.
One, pretty much everyone I know bakes at some point. Cookies are super quick to make and great for the instant gratification angle. I mean, seriously, even the people who are heavy on the paleo diet thing have cookie recipes that they love.
Two, this cleans out some of my stock pile of glass jars. I have enough now that it is getting a little problematic to keep them. So, I am going to send them off to infest other houses and be useful there.
I will post links to recipes tomorrow. Right now, I need to go get myself some shut eye and try to not wake up in the middle of the night thinking that Loki is threatening to piss on me if I didn't get out of bed (to use the bathroom to piss, no less).
One, pretty much everyone I know bakes at some point. Cookies are super quick to make and great for the instant gratification angle. I mean, seriously, even the people who are heavy on the paleo diet thing have cookie recipes that they love.
Two, this cleans out some of my stock pile of glass jars. I have enough now that it is getting a little problematic to keep them. So, I am going to send them off to infest other houses and be useful there.
I will post links to recipes tomorrow. Right now, I need to go get myself some shut eye and try to not wake up in the middle of the night thinking that Loki is threatening to piss on me if I didn't get out of bed (to use the bathroom to piss, no less).
Monday, December 12, 2016
Nope it from Orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
I feel horrible. My abdomen feels like someone has been taking a baseball bat to me. I have been taking Tramadol for a little while. It doesn't take care of it all. I have been taking it with Aleve. This has me where I am merely grimacing in pain and swearing under my breath rather than sobbing and whimpering.
I am terrified that someone is going to decide that I am doing this all for some pills. This is a fear that is deep seated and distressing. I'll probably try to write something cathartic later. Right now, I just feel sick, anxious, and pained. I don't know what to do about it. So, tomorrow, I will be calling my doctor and attempting to figure out what the hell the next step is. In the meantime, I'm going to wish I had access to the orbital NOPE cannon.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Snood Pattern
Chain 5. Slip stitch together first and last stitch. Chain 3, Double crochet into ring, chain one. Repeat DC+chain 11x. Slip stitch together first and last stitch. Chain 5. double crochet into chain space, chain 2. repeat around. slip stitch together first and last st. Chain 5, slip st into chain space, chain 5, sl st into chain space. repeat around. slip st to center of first ch 5 loop. repeat previous round. slip st to center of first ch 5 loop. chain 7, slip st into center of next loop. repeat around, slip st first and last st together. repeat previous round until size desired.
I don't know if my notes are correct. I need to test this out. This post is a place holder of sorts for when I come back to this and attempt to rework the pattern.
I don't know if my notes are correct. I need to test this out. This post is a place holder of sorts for when I come back to this and attempt to rework the pattern.
Wednesday, December 07, 2016
Allergy Punchcard
So, I have been having a decidedly unpleasant time of things. In the course of the last few weeks, I have discovered that I have an allergy to pretty much everything tied to morphine and related opium derived medications. Two weeks ago, approximately, I got to spend an afternoon in the hospital after I had an allergic reaction to percocet and then to dilauted. (I honestly have no idea if I typed those names correctly. Let's just say they are two of the most common pain relieving narcotics used.)
It was a stroke of pure luck that I am not having a reaction to the tramodol. It acts in a similar fashion to the opium derived medications but is not derived from opium (as far as I know). I was struggling along for a few days on a combination of aleve and tylenol but the pain hit a point where it was pretty much pointless to continue on with that. The obgyn threw a proverbial hail mary pass with the tramodol and so far it seems to be working. But by itself, it is not entirely sufficient. So I am taking thereputic doses of aleve with it. My pain is still creeping up and making itself known even with these two medications.
I went in for a CT scan yesterday. The doctor has not gone over the results of it yet. I have called a few times, but they haven't gotten the results. They think that tomorrow it will have been addressed. Walking into the CT scan, I was a bit apprehensive. They asked me if I was allergic to the stuff that was in the dye. I said no, because I was pretty sure I wasn't. I mean, I have had an x-ray in the past where they injected me with dye and it wasn't a problem. Cue about a minute after the injection and I start having an allergic reaction. It wasn't hives or feeling itchy.
Nope, my throat started to burn like I drank something hot. At first I thought it was just the weird feeling of heat that went with the dye. Then my throat started to itch. I mentioned this to the nurse who became concerned. She informed me that an allergic response was going to show up within 10 minutes after the test. My itchy throat then started to feel swollen as my chest started getting tight and I began to wheeze. They dosed me with benadryl and directed me over to the ER.
I started to panic. Beloved was with me. He talked to me and held my shaking hands. My hands started tingling and the nurse assured me that it was likely due to anxiety. I sat in the ER being observed as the benadryl was working on me. I guess I was there for about two hours. Beloved told stupid jokes and talked to me to help me stay calm. After a while, the allergic response symptoms went away for the most part and I was released to go home.
This all seems like a fit of perverse humor. I have within the last six months developed an unknown seafood allergy. I am working with an allergist to figure out what exactly it is I'm allergic to. I have developed these medication allergies. Yesterday, Beloved made a crack about how I need some kind of allergy punchcard and with the tenth one I get a free dinner. I said that it would likely be sushi. Beloved laughed. I laughed at the business too, even though it hurt.
I am sick of this nonsense. I just want to be healthy. I can't even walk around my home with out being in pain. Just sitting and doing nothing hurts. I am apprehensive about what they found on the CT scan. I am trying not to worry, but I am troubled by it all.
It was a stroke of pure luck that I am not having a reaction to the tramodol. It acts in a similar fashion to the opium derived medications but is not derived from opium (as far as I know). I was struggling along for a few days on a combination of aleve and tylenol but the pain hit a point where it was pretty much pointless to continue on with that. The obgyn threw a proverbial hail mary pass with the tramodol and so far it seems to be working. But by itself, it is not entirely sufficient. So I am taking thereputic doses of aleve with it. My pain is still creeping up and making itself known even with these two medications.
I went in for a CT scan yesterday. The doctor has not gone over the results of it yet. I have called a few times, but they haven't gotten the results. They think that tomorrow it will have been addressed. Walking into the CT scan, I was a bit apprehensive. They asked me if I was allergic to the stuff that was in the dye. I said no, because I was pretty sure I wasn't. I mean, I have had an x-ray in the past where they injected me with dye and it wasn't a problem. Cue about a minute after the injection and I start having an allergic reaction. It wasn't hives or feeling itchy.
Nope, my throat started to burn like I drank something hot. At first I thought it was just the weird feeling of heat that went with the dye. Then my throat started to itch. I mentioned this to the nurse who became concerned. She informed me that an allergic response was going to show up within 10 minutes after the test. My itchy throat then started to feel swollen as my chest started getting tight and I began to wheeze. They dosed me with benadryl and directed me over to the ER.
I started to panic. Beloved was with me. He talked to me and held my shaking hands. My hands started tingling and the nurse assured me that it was likely due to anxiety. I sat in the ER being observed as the benadryl was working on me. I guess I was there for about two hours. Beloved told stupid jokes and talked to me to help me stay calm. After a while, the allergic response symptoms went away for the most part and I was released to go home.
This all seems like a fit of perverse humor. I have within the last six months developed an unknown seafood allergy. I am working with an allergist to figure out what exactly it is I'm allergic to. I have developed these medication allergies. Yesterday, Beloved made a crack about how I need some kind of allergy punchcard and with the tenth one I get a free dinner. I said that it would likely be sushi. Beloved laughed. I laughed at the business too, even though it hurt.
I am sick of this nonsense. I just want to be healthy. I can't even walk around my home with out being in pain. Just sitting and doing nothing hurts. I am apprehensive about what they found on the CT scan. I am trying not to worry, but I am troubled by it all.
Monday, December 05, 2016
Knitting stuff.
I'm still feeling awful and can barely hobble around the apartment. So, what am I doing, screwing around with yarn.
What I think I look like when I'm knitting:
What I think I look like when I'm knitting:
What I really look like when I'm knitting:
Thursday, December 01, 2016
Sophia's Headband.
I started out experimenting with yarn. Then it turned into this. Fortunately, however, it proves a super simple pattern and easy to write up.
I used lime green for the headband itself. The flower is in some random shade of purple that I got in a grab bag of yarn. The leaf is a forest green. The button was from a pack of random shaped buttons. In case you can't tell, it is a five petaled flower shape.
My yarn is all acrylic. It is worsted, sport weight. (Size 4 if you're keeping score.) I used as size I tunisian crochet hook (5.5 mm) for the headband and a size H crochet hook (5 mm( to make the leaf and the blossom. You can't see it, but at the back I have a elastic headband stitched to it.
Headband
With the green yarn and the tunisian crochet hook, chain four. Forward pass for tunisian simple stitch into each of the three chains. Return pass for the tunisian simple stitch. Row 1 done. Row 2 is the same. Row three pick up an additional stitch after the first stitch and second stitch. You should have six loops on your hook. Return pass. Row four is tunisian simple stitch into each stitch. Row five tunisian simple stitch into the first two stitches. Pick up an additional stitch between stitch four and three. Do stitch four as per usual, place marker. Pick up another stitch between stitch four and five. Finish forward pass as per usual. Row six, repeat row five, but pick up stitches along either side of center stitch. Move marker up with row completed. Continue until total stitches in row is twelve.
Work 29 rows of tunisian simple stitch, move marker up with each row. First decrease row, pick up to two stitches from marker. Stitch together two stitches before and after marker. Work next row plain. Continue alternating between decrease row and plain until four stitches remain. Work two rows of four stitches. Bind off. Single crochet around the edge of the headband.
Attach one end of elastic headband to the end with four stitches (I used a circular band and put the metal end where things are stuck together on one side. I then folded the band in half and stitched the part where the fold was to the other 4 stitch end of the headband.
Embellishment
With purple and size H hook, make a blossom and leaf as per White Rose of Resistance pattern.
Sew blossom down and add button of your choice to center. This keeps the blossom open. You can stitch down the petals as well.
Stitch down the leaf to the side of the blossom. I used a running stitch down the center in a contrasting color. This presented the image of a vein down the center of the leaf as well as holding it securely to the headband.
Obviously, weave all ends in when finished with each component and stitch things securely. I don't think this will be washing machine safe because of the embellishments. I would advise washing this by hand and allowing to air dry.
I used lime green for the headband itself. The flower is in some random shade of purple that I got in a grab bag of yarn. The leaf is a forest green. The button was from a pack of random shaped buttons. In case you can't tell, it is a five petaled flower shape.
My yarn is all acrylic. It is worsted, sport weight. (Size 4 if you're keeping score.) I used as size I tunisian crochet hook (5.5 mm) for the headband and a size H crochet hook (5 mm( to make the leaf and the blossom. You can't see it, but at the back I have a elastic headband stitched to it.
Headband
With the green yarn and the tunisian crochet hook, chain four. Forward pass for tunisian simple stitch into each of the three chains. Return pass for the tunisian simple stitch. Row 1 done. Row 2 is the same. Row three pick up an additional stitch after the first stitch and second stitch. You should have six loops on your hook. Return pass. Row four is tunisian simple stitch into each stitch. Row five tunisian simple stitch into the first two stitches. Pick up an additional stitch between stitch four and three. Do stitch four as per usual, place marker. Pick up another stitch between stitch four and five. Finish forward pass as per usual. Row six, repeat row five, but pick up stitches along either side of center stitch. Move marker up with row completed. Continue until total stitches in row is twelve.
Work 29 rows of tunisian simple stitch, move marker up with each row. First decrease row, pick up to two stitches from marker. Stitch together two stitches before and after marker. Work next row plain. Continue alternating between decrease row and plain until four stitches remain. Work two rows of four stitches. Bind off. Single crochet around the edge of the headband.
Attach one end of elastic headband to the end with four stitches (I used a circular band and put the metal end where things are stuck together on one side. I then folded the band in half and stitched the part where the fold was to the other 4 stitch end of the headband.
Embellishment
With purple and size H hook, make a blossom and leaf as per White Rose of Resistance pattern.
Sew blossom down and add button of your choice to center. This keeps the blossom open. You can stitch down the petals as well.
Stitch down the leaf to the side of the blossom. I used a running stitch down the center in a contrasting color. This presented the image of a vein down the center of the leaf as well as holding it securely to the headband.
Obviously, weave all ends in when finished with each component and stitch things securely. I don't think this will be washing machine safe because of the embellishments. I would advise washing this by hand and allowing to air dry.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
White Rose of Resistance.
With the rising tide of Nazi sympathizers and their ilk, I have taken up the practice of wearing a white rose as a symbol of resistance. The White Rose Society was a resistance organization based out of Munich formed by a group of students from that university. They distributed anti-Nazi pamphlets and engaged in acts of defiance. One of the defining traits of the White Rose Society was that they were intellectuals. They came together to resist the ultra-nationalistic propaganda and the oppressive practices of the state.
I am presently contemplating making these roses and selling them on Etsy for the cost of production and shipping. If I do so, I will include a note about the White Rose Society. If I happen to sell them for a higher cost than shipping and production, I will likely be donating the profits to programs that are threatened by the increasingly draconian propositions coming out of DC right now. This would include but not be limited to: Planned Parenthood, The Trevor Project, and the Southern Poverty Law Center, as well as local programs in my region.
As you may be able to tell, these are crochet items. I give the pattern below for free. share it as you see fit or make what you wish with them. The base pattern for the flower can be made more 'full' if you add more rings of petals. I am using sport weight acrylic yarn. The flowers I crochet with a size G crochet hook (4 mm). The leaves were made using a size H hook (5 mm). This pattern is written up in US terms. I may at some point this week come back and post a video tutorial how to make these. I'm not decided right now. After assembling the flower and the leaves, I stitched the entire affair to a safety pin with a flat back. This works better to keep the flower facing the correct direction and it doesn't shift as much when it is being worn.
White Rose of Resistance Pin
Materials Needed
Size G & Size H crochet hooks
Safety Pin with flat back
Large eye yarn needle (I used a steel one because I prefer it. Plastic can also be an option.)
Small quantity of white yarn, sport weight acrylic
Small quantity of green yarn, sport weight acryic
The Blossom
With the size G hook and the white yarn, make a slip knot and insert your hook in to the loop. Chain 3. Make a half double crochet into the third chain from the hook. Repeat 14 times. (15 stitches in total) Slip stitch into the top of the chain at the beginning of the round.
Chain one. [Half double crochet into the first stitch. Double crochet into the first stitch. Triple crochet into the first stitch. Chain one. Triple crochet into the second stitch. Double crochet into the second stitch. Half double crochet into the second stitch. Slip stitch into the third stitch]*. Repeat * four times. Slip stitch into first stitch of the round (5 petals, 40 stitches).
Slip stitch two stitches along the FIRST ROUND (you will be approximately at the center of the first petal on the round before it). [Chain four. Slip stitch at the point that is approximately at the center of the next petal in the first round.]* Repeat * four times (5 chain loops, 25 stitches). Slip stitch into the first stitch of the round.
Chain one. [Half double crochet into the first loop twice. Double crochet into the first loop. Triple crochet into the first loop. Chain one. Triple crochet into the first loop. Double crochet into the first loop. Half double crochet into the first loop twice. Slip stitch into the join to first round.]* Repeat 4 times. (5 petals, 50 st)
Slip stitch two stitches along the FIRST ROUND (you will be approximately at the center of the first peal of the round). [Chain five. Slip stitch at the point that is approximately center of the next peal in the first round.]* Repeat * four times. Slip stitch into the first stitch of the round. (5 loops, 30 stitches)
Chain one. [Half double crochet into the first loop twice. Double crochet into the first loop twice. Triple crochet into the loop. Chain one. Triple crochet into the loop. Double crochet into the loop twice. Half double crochet into the loop twice. Slip stitch into the join to the first round.]* Repeat 4 times. Slip stitch into the first stitch of the round. (5 petals, 60 stitches)
Fasten off. Leave a tail of yarn 6 inches long. Make 1 blossom.
The Leaves
With the green yarn and size H hook, make a slip knot and insert the hook through the loop. Chain six. Single crochet into the second chain from the hook. Half double crochet into next stitch. Double crochet into the next two stitches. Work six double crochet into final stitch. Work along the back of the foundation chain, one double crochet into the next two stitches. Half double crochet into the next stitch. Slip stitch into single crochet. Fasten off. Weave in ends. Make 2 leaves,
Assembly
Cross leaves a the base with the center lines at a 90 degree angle to each other. (Base of the leaf is the end with the 6 stitches.) With long tail from blossom, sew leaves together and onto the blossom on the wrong side of the blossom. Make stitches even and small. Do not stitch through the entire blossom, only pick up the back loop facing the wrong side of the blossom. Stitch safety pin to center back of the blossom with remaining length of yarn. Fasten off and weave ends.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
NOTES:
1. Slip stitching into the first round will not be very noticeable on the front of the blossom if you are using a solid color.
2. The sections where the petals are made, the stitches for the petals need to be in each loop.
3. This is theoretically washing machine safe if you do so on delicate and your stitches are done tightly. I would wash it by hand.
I am presently contemplating making these roses and selling them on Etsy for the cost of production and shipping. If I do so, I will include a note about the White Rose Society. If I happen to sell them for a higher cost than shipping and production, I will likely be donating the profits to programs that are threatened by the increasingly draconian propositions coming out of DC right now. This would include but not be limited to: Planned Parenthood, The Trevor Project, and the Southern Poverty Law Center, as well as local programs in my region.
As you may be able to tell, these are crochet items. I give the pattern below for free. share it as you see fit or make what you wish with them. The base pattern for the flower can be made more 'full' if you add more rings of petals. I am using sport weight acrylic yarn. The flowers I crochet with a size G crochet hook (4 mm). The leaves were made using a size H hook (5 mm). This pattern is written up in US terms. I may at some point this week come back and post a video tutorial how to make these. I'm not decided right now. After assembling the flower and the leaves, I stitched the entire affair to a safety pin with a flat back. This works better to keep the flower facing the correct direction and it doesn't shift as much when it is being worn.
White Rose of Resistance Pin
Materials Needed
Size G & Size H crochet hooks
Safety Pin with flat back
Large eye yarn needle (I used a steel one because I prefer it. Plastic can also be an option.)
Small quantity of white yarn, sport weight acrylic
Small quantity of green yarn, sport weight acryic
The Blossom
With the size G hook and the white yarn, make a slip knot and insert your hook in to the loop. Chain 3. Make a half double crochet into the third chain from the hook. Repeat 14 times. (15 stitches in total) Slip stitch into the top of the chain at the beginning of the round.
Chain one. [Half double crochet into the first stitch. Double crochet into the first stitch. Triple crochet into the first stitch. Chain one. Triple crochet into the second stitch. Double crochet into the second stitch. Half double crochet into the second stitch. Slip stitch into the third stitch]*. Repeat * four times. Slip stitch into first stitch of the round (5 petals, 40 stitches).
Slip stitch two stitches along the FIRST ROUND (you will be approximately at the center of the first petal on the round before it). [Chain four. Slip stitch at the point that is approximately at the center of the next petal in the first round.]* Repeat * four times (5 chain loops, 25 stitches). Slip stitch into the first stitch of the round.
Chain one. [Half double crochet into the first loop twice. Double crochet into the first loop. Triple crochet into the first loop. Chain one. Triple crochet into the first loop. Double crochet into the first loop. Half double crochet into the first loop twice. Slip stitch into the join to first round.]* Repeat 4 times. (5 petals, 50 st)
Slip stitch two stitches along the FIRST ROUND (you will be approximately at the center of the first peal of the round). [Chain five. Slip stitch at the point that is approximately center of the next peal in the first round.]* Repeat * four times. Slip stitch into the first stitch of the round. (5 loops, 30 stitches)
Chain one. [Half double crochet into the first loop twice. Double crochet into the first loop twice. Triple crochet into the loop. Chain one. Triple crochet into the loop. Double crochet into the loop twice. Half double crochet into the loop twice. Slip stitch into the join to the first round.]* Repeat 4 times. Slip stitch into the first stitch of the round. (5 petals, 60 stitches)
Fasten off. Leave a tail of yarn 6 inches long. Make 1 blossom.
The Leaves
With the green yarn and size H hook, make a slip knot and insert the hook through the loop. Chain six. Single crochet into the second chain from the hook. Half double crochet into next stitch. Double crochet into the next two stitches. Work six double crochet into final stitch. Work along the back of the foundation chain, one double crochet into the next two stitches. Half double crochet into the next stitch. Slip stitch into single crochet. Fasten off. Weave in ends. Make 2 leaves,
Assembly
Cross leaves a the base with the center lines at a 90 degree angle to each other. (Base of the leaf is the end with the 6 stitches.) With long tail from blossom, sew leaves together and onto the blossom on the wrong side of the blossom. Make stitches even and small. Do not stitch through the entire blossom, only pick up the back loop facing the wrong side of the blossom. Stitch safety pin to center back of the blossom with remaining length of yarn. Fasten off and weave ends.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
NOTES:
1. Slip stitching into the first round will not be very noticeable on the front of the blossom if you are using a solid color.
2. The sections where the petals are made, the stitches for the petals need to be in each loop.
3. This is theoretically washing machine safe if you do so on delicate and your stitches are done tightly. I would wash it by hand.
Labels:
handcraft,
knitting/crochet,
politics,
society/popculture
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
NaBloPoMo # ±|potato|
What is the absolute value of potato? Good question. I will let the great sage, the philosopher king Samwise Gamgee answer that question:
Sunday, November 27, 2016
NaBloPoMo # watevr
I spent my afternoon and early evening writing posts for another blog. A part of me said I should have been working on my novel (which I recognize now is most likely going to be a novella) but the rest of me is more interested in trying to get some 'real work' done. I am not entirely sure how much writing I am going to get done over the next few weeks. I am coming down the home stretch on crafting things for people. I am not exactly sure how to manage the last few items, but I am confident that it will come out well. I am crafty in more ways than one.
I am going to attempt to get some work done on the manuscript. I'm not shoving it into a drawer and forgetting about it. Having the notebook sitting there on the table makes it really hard to ignore. It doesn't hurt that thing is school bus yellow, I suppose. I am not going to panic over this, though. I'm just going to keep doing all the things I need to in order to make things happen.
Once I figure out how to start addressing the cluster fuck that is all of the political concerns I have, I am going to start trying to get more active on that front. Before I can get into that fray, though, I have to get my own house in order. So, I do what I can but I am not going to push myself too hard. Remember my limitations and such.
I am going to attempt to get some work done on the manuscript. I'm not shoving it into a drawer and forgetting about it. Having the notebook sitting there on the table makes it really hard to ignore. It doesn't hurt that thing is school bus yellow, I suppose. I am not going to panic over this, though. I'm just going to keep doing all the things I need to in order to make things happen.
Once I figure out how to start addressing the cluster fuck that is all of the political concerns I have, I am going to start trying to get more active on that front. Before I can get into that fray, though, I have to get my own house in order. So, I do what I can but I am not going to push myself too hard. Remember my limitations and such.
Friday, November 25, 2016
NaBloPoMo (n+1[i/i])
Still feeling awful. Today, I am realizing that there is just no way I am going to finish this novel I have been working on. I think my total time for writing has been about a week and it was not a good week's worth of work. I know that many people would insist that I should not run up the flag of surrender. I recognize, however, that I haven't the reserves to do this right now. My health issues are proving a sufficient enough strain that my novel is going to have to wait.
I sit here unsure how the next several weeks are going to go. I am troubled by so many things. Only a small portion of this is relating to my physical health. The state of the world and the nation deeply disturbs me. I have friends enduring hardship that I am relatively powerless to help. It is all very difficult and I don't know how I am going to proceed forward. I had plans but now they seem to fall apart.
I feel as though I am in freefall. It is a sensation that I hate because all I can think of is the abrupt end that comes after such a descent.
I sit here unsure how the next several weeks are going to go. I am troubled by so many things. Only a small portion of this is relating to my physical health. The state of the world and the nation deeply disturbs me. I have friends enduring hardship that I am relatively powerless to help. It is all very difficult and I don't know how I am going to proceed forward. I had plans but now they seem to fall apart.
I feel as though I am in freefall. It is a sensation that I hate because all I can think of is the abrupt end that comes after such a descent.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
NaBloPoMo # 7 (?) Inconclusive evidence.
My day today has been long and uncomfortable. I am, apparently, allergic to pretty much every single pain medication that can be offered except for Tylenol and Aleve. We have one last shot and if the Tramadol evokes an allergic reaction, I pretty much have nothing to use but those two. I am trying very hard not to be afraid and upset. We don't know what is going on right now.
We know that I don't have an ovarian cyst. We know that it isn't constipation or something similar. My ultrasounds came out looking normal. The doctor is talking about next thing to be tried is a CT scan. I am trying so hard not to worry. A part of me is afraid that this could be something wrong with my pancreas. It's the next major organ in the region of the body that hurts horribly.
I'm working very hard not to get caught up in anxiety. It is, however, very difficult.
We know that I don't have an ovarian cyst. We know that it isn't constipation or something similar. My ultrasounds came out looking normal. The doctor is talking about next thing to be tried is a CT scan. I am trying so hard not to worry. A part of me is afraid that this could be something wrong with my pancreas. It's the next major organ in the region of the body that hurts horribly.
I'm working very hard not to get caught up in anxiety. It is, however, very difficult.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Snowflake.
So, they'll call me a 'special snowflake' with scorn in their voice. They'll imply that I am someone who demands to be handled with exquisite care and sheltered from the harsh reality of the world. They'll say that I am over emotional. Some will even insist that my 'delicate nature' is due to my gender presentation. You want to call me a snowflake, go ahead.
I would like to remind you, though, snow is lethal. The ice it is made of will suck the heat out of you and leave you helpless. It will steal your breath, rendering you voiceless. You will die from the cold and think that you are overly warm, hastening your demise with your confused deeds. You will in your last moments, hide like a feral animal, utterly divested of your dignity. Snow can kill you and you will not realize you are dying.
Ah, but some would say that the snowflake is simply a weak thing that can be destroyed with warm breath and warded against with proper precautions. You are a fool to assume this is the case, though, because the snow does not come only in ice. It also comes in stone. And the stone is not something weak and fragile. Oh, it is beautiful. It is also born from the fires at the core of the earth. Snowflake obsidion can be fashioned in to razor sharp blades. Many a person has died from crude weapons fashioned from a hunk of raw stone. A higher number has perished from weapons made with skill and deliberate action.
The other thing you must remember about snowflakes is that there is never only one. They always come in significant numbers. And they're silent until they reach a point that you are unable to do anything about the danger posed by the weight of their presence. Call me a snowflake. Know that I am coming and there is an avalanche at my back coming for you as well.
I would like to remind you, though, snow is lethal. The ice it is made of will suck the heat out of you and leave you helpless. It will steal your breath, rendering you voiceless. You will die from the cold and think that you are overly warm, hastening your demise with your confused deeds. You will in your last moments, hide like a feral animal, utterly divested of your dignity. Snow can kill you and you will not realize you are dying.
From Wikipedia |
The other thing you must remember about snowflakes is that there is never only one. They always come in significant numbers. And they're silent until they reach a point that you are unable to do anything about the danger posed by the weight of their presence. Call me a snowflake. Know that I am coming and there is an avalanche at my back coming for you as well.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
NaBloPoMo # 7: Spreading Love!
This hat is really simple. And it is pretty small, because I'm making it for one of the kids in the neighborhood who doesn't have a hat for cold weather. I started out with crochet for the top of the hat. I used a size H hook (5.5mm) and sport weight acrylic yarn. I am actually using one of Caron's Simply Soft Paints. I forget what the colorway is called. I lost the ball band in the course of cleaning last week. Using the magic ring method, I made a circle of twelve single crochet stitches. I then increased in each stitch (slip stitching the last stitch to the first at the end of the round) before proceeding in the usual manner until I had 36 stitches in total. I then picked up each stitch onto a DPN needle that was sized 9 (also 5.5mm). I started knitting in the round until the entire affair was 9 in long. I bound off knitwise.
I'm not pleased with how tense my bound off edge is. I can't quite manage to get the hang of casting off loosely or with a stretchy one. I think I need to watch more Youtube tutorials or something. Maybe I can talk my MiL into showing me how to do it. She knits socks all the time, so I know she knows the trick for that one. I am stalled on the duckie scarf. I am, however, going to pick that back up and work on getting it done.
Labels:
friends in need,
knitting/crochet,
NaBloPoMo,
rambling
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
NaBloPoMo # 6 - Slow progress.
I had my morning sucked up by paying bills and such. But, my afternoon and a good portion of my evening was spent writing. I added around 1.5k today. My hand aches a little but whatever. I got some writing done today. Thus, today was a productive day and a good day. Maybe tomorrow I will hit something closer to 2k. I think, however, I am going to switch back to being powered by coffee, mostly. While the tea helps me reconnect with the mental place this stuff is coming from, the coffee has more kick and helps make my thoughts flow better. If this makes any sense.
Word Count: 14500
# hours writing: 2.5 approx
# cups of tea drunk: 6
page count: approx 50
Word Count: 14500
# hours writing: 2.5 approx
# cups of tea drunk: 6
page count: approx 50
Monday, November 14, 2016
NaBloPoMo # 5
Well, I got some more done today. Despite the kids distracting me. Maybe I can get this damn thing done after all.
Word Count: 11500
Word Count: 11500
NaBloPoMo Post #4 - Words good?
So, I've spent the last hour writing. I am taking a brief break because my hand feels somewhat crampy. I have added 1k to the manuscript. I am not entirely pleased with what I have produced. It feels shallow and contrived. That, however, is part of what happens when you write a rough draft. That bit of uncertainty will get polished away when I edit this thing. I am trying to keep hope that I can finish this thing somewhere close to on time. If 1k is written in an hour, I may be able to get up to 3k on a given day. I suppose the lack of distractions from the children makes a big difference in my word count. I'll try to get more done in a little bit.
NaNoWriMo Word count: 10,000
Writing Time today: 1 hr (thus far)
Page Count: 39
# Chocolate Covered Espresso beans consumed: 10
# Cups of Coffee: 0.5
NaNoWriMo Word count: 10,000
Writing Time today: 1 hr (thus far)
Page Count: 39
# Chocolate Covered Espresso beans consumed: 10
# Cups of Coffee: 0.5
Sunday, November 13, 2016
NaBloPoMo Post # 3(?)
It has been a long day. I got almost 2k words written today on my novel. Part of my challenge was the kids distracting me much of the day. Anyone who is writing and has small children about knows this feeling very well. The other part of my challenge today was just getting out of my own way. I am finding that my novel is not as fun as other things I have written in the past. I don't think the problem is that I am writing this thing by hand. I will say, however, I have had mild hand cramps this evening. I don't think I will be doing any knitting tomorrow morning after putting the kids on the bus.
I think my biggest problem with this project is that I am sitting here quietly afraid that something horrible is going to come out of this thing. I'm writing a fictionalized memoir. Some of what I put down on paper comes from things I have actually experienced. Some of what I put down is invented to fill in the gaps with what is too uncomfortable to write down or to serve as a mask to keep some of the demons at my back. I wish that I could say that my novel is something that is going to end in happiness and light.
It isn't. It is grueling to write. It is filled with darkness and agony. Mashing together five separate stays in the psychiatric ward due to illness and all of the trauma that lead to it happening is proving exhausting. Still, I feel like I can't put this project down. I find that I would love to set this thing aside but I feel compelled to keep working on it. The more I write, the more I feel I have to write. And it is uncomfortable and disturbing things that I am writing. Presently, there is more fiction than there is fact but it is also a case where the fiction is illuminating more than I think the fact would have.
The time span this novel covers is a single month. I am half considering dragging out my journal from when I was last inpatient to compare it to what I am writing now. I think, however, that would rob me of my authenticity in this piece. I don't know how that actually works, but my gut says that it will be the case if I started referencing past material. Even doing some research to make sure that I am describing something properly made me feel like I was on the path of losing this character's voice.
It wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't for the fact that I am writing this thing in first person. The book is the character's journal. I don't know if I am going to accomplish 50k this month. I am going to try, but gods only know if I am going to get close to it. A part of me says I should spend some time on a second project, something lighter than this, but I can't shake the feeling that I must see this manuscript to completion before I do something different.
NaNoWriMo Word Count: 9k
Total Writing Time Today: 3 hrs (approx.)
Page Count: 35
I think my biggest problem with this project is that I am sitting here quietly afraid that something horrible is going to come out of this thing. I'm writing a fictionalized memoir. Some of what I put down on paper comes from things I have actually experienced. Some of what I put down is invented to fill in the gaps with what is too uncomfortable to write down or to serve as a mask to keep some of the demons at my back. I wish that I could say that my novel is something that is going to end in happiness and light.
It isn't. It is grueling to write. It is filled with darkness and agony. Mashing together five separate stays in the psychiatric ward due to illness and all of the trauma that lead to it happening is proving exhausting. Still, I feel like I can't put this project down. I find that I would love to set this thing aside but I feel compelled to keep working on it. The more I write, the more I feel I have to write. And it is uncomfortable and disturbing things that I am writing. Presently, there is more fiction than there is fact but it is also a case where the fiction is illuminating more than I think the fact would have.
The time span this novel covers is a single month. I am half considering dragging out my journal from when I was last inpatient to compare it to what I am writing now. I think, however, that would rob me of my authenticity in this piece. I don't know how that actually works, but my gut says that it will be the case if I started referencing past material. Even doing some research to make sure that I am describing something properly made me feel like I was on the path of losing this character's voice.
It wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't for the fact that I am writing this thing in first person. The book is the character's journal. I don't know if I am going to accomplish 50k this month. I am going to try, but gods only know if I am going to get close to it. A part of me says I should spend some time on a second project, something lighter than this, but I can't shake the feeling that I must see this manuscript to completion before I do something different.
NaNoWriMo Word Count: 9k
Total Writing Time Today: 3 hrs (approx.)
Page Count: 35
Wednesday, November 09, 2016
A Sunny Spot on the Wall.
Perhaps you are familiar with Margaret Atwood's novel A Handmaid's Tale. If you are not, I strongly advise you read it. Consider as you do so that it was written in 1985, a little over thirty years ago. Also, consider how closely those themes run to that which is espoused by the supporters of Donald Trump. The parallels are fundamentally disturbing. I could devote a whole post to this, an analysis of the book, and how it seems that people have taken it as an instruction manual. (I feel as though similar arguments can be made regarding George Orwell's 1984.) This, however, is not the purpose of my post this evening.
I have spent my day attempting to make sense of the apparent madness that is unfurling. Yes, some would argue that I am presenting a hysterical (in a decidedly unfunny sense) picture of things. Many who would decry my position as hysteria would have declared a woman who was of a mind to exercise her rights as suffering from hysteria back when it was considered a legitimate diagnosis. I pay them little heed but I do give them a small bit of time in my thoughts, to consider them scornfully and with great loathing. Given a casual assessment of what has been reported via social media alone, there has been a stark uptick in violence in both word and deed on the basis of racism, sexism, and xenophobia. I have not seen much in the way of reports of such things against people who are disabled but I would not be surprised by this.
This behavior does not behoove us as the descendants of statesmen such as the ones who ironed out the principles that lead to the development of the Consitution of the United States. Or does it? Thomas Jefferson, famed for penning the cherished Declaration of Independence, argued that a white man was of greater value than a black man, specifically slaves. It was known as the 3/5ths compromise. It is a shameful chapter in the history of this nation, among many. Just because our ancestors (both ideological and literal) behaved in a manner that denied the humanity of their fellow people and promoted hatred against them, it does not mean that we can do so as well.
We are supposed to improve upon what was done by they who came before us. The Civil Rights act of 1866 was supposed to rectify the gross errors of our government and people. The Civil Rights act of 1964 was supposed to rectify yet more of those gross errors. This is but one example of how we were supposed to improve and propel our nation towards a more just place wherein all citizens enjoy the protections and liberties explicit and implicit that came by virtue of being part of this nation. And yet, what have we done in electing Donald Trump? We have taken a step backwards.
Still, perhaps we were not as forward thinking as we wished to tell ourselves and present ourselves to the world at large. Donald Trump tapped into a deep vein of hatred that runs through this nation. I can not say this is a great nation. I have not been able to say that for over a decade now. And I think that when I said it when I was younger, it was out of ignorance and believing the pretty stories we told ourselves about how good we are. I suppose one good thing to come out of the horrendous train wreck that has been this election cycle is that the seething, putrid wash of hatred that was fermenting beneath the surface has been revealed.
It has revealed how brother has turned against brother and the way that people wish ill upon others for merely existing. Some are concerned that we are a heartbeat away from a civil war. Others are afraid that the country is headed to ruin, with the likelihood of greater warfare happening within months of Donald Trump being sworn into office. In the meantime, no less than eleven people committed suicide within the last 24 hours with fear that they would have been murdered because of their status as part of the LGBT+ community. And this is only what I am aware of through my relatively small social circle. Gods only know what the final tally will be when sunrise comes tomorrow. I have lost count of how many people relating how they have been harassed and threatened with violence on the basis of their beliefs, their apparent racial background, and their gender presentation. This is but the tip of the iceberg that the good ship America has run into.
I will not attempt auguries to divine what manner of disaster awaits us. My heart can not stand that. I have spent my day feeling sick and horrified. I have been afraid for friends of mine who have moved from being in an abstract position of danger to one of real danger because Donald Trump's ascension has emboldened the people who threaten them. I sit here and question what I can do to oppose this rising tide of fascism. Do not let anyone tell you that this mess is something different. It is perhaps by the perversity of the Divine's humor that the election was decided upon the 78th anniversary of Kristallnacht.
I don't know if I will need to make plans to hide friends from some manner of governmental oppression. I don't know if I should carefully consider how to present as something I am not to ensure the safety of my children. I don't know where this leads. I only know that nothing good comes of this. I know this in my bones. I fear for the future. People who are dear to me have tried to assure me that the apathy that has run rampant through this country will insulate us from the greater dangers that lie about us. I question this assertion. When not even a full day after this man has won the race people are having their very lives threatened with impunity, I suspect that apathy will not save us. If anything, it will be further damnation.
I do know this, I will find away to stand against this. I will find away to resist the hatred. And, when the day is done, I will do my best to ensure that my children and the generations that come after them live in a nation that is closer to being more just and humane. Or at least die trying. Because sometimes, the war that is fought is in our hearts and minds, not with guns and forces of might. I will not be silenced.
So, save me a sunny spot on the wall. And I am sure we will have good company to hang in chains with if all things truly go to hell.
I have spent my day attempting to make sense of the apparent madness that is unfurling. Yes, some would argue that I am presenting a hysterical (in a decidedly unfunny sense) picture of things. Many who would decry my position as hysteria would have declared a woman who was of a mind to exercise her rights as suffering from hysteria back when it was considered a legitimate diagnosis. I pay them little heed but I do give them a small bit of time in my thoughts, to consider them scornfully and with great loathing. Given a casual assessment of what has been reported via social media alone, there has been a stark uptick in violence in both word and deed on the basis of racism, sexism, and xenophobia. I have not seen much in the way of reports of such things against people who are disabled but I would not be surprised by this.
This behavior does not behoove us as the descendants of statesmen such as the ones who ironed out the principles that lead to the development of the Consitution of the United States. Or does it? Thomas Jefferson, famed for penning the cherished Declaration of Independence, argued that a white man was of greater value than a black man, specifically slaves. It was known as the 3/5ths compromise. It is a shameful chapter in the history of this nation, among many. Just because our ancestors (both ideological and literal) behaved in a manner that denied the humanity of their fellow people and promoted hatred against them, it does not mean that we can do so as well.
We are supposed to improve upon what was done by they who came before us. The Civil Rights act of 1866 was supposed to rectify the gross errors of our government and people. The Civil Rights act of 1964 was supposed to rectify yet more of those gross errors. This is but one example of how we were supposed to improve and propel our nation towards a more just place wherein all citizens enjoy the protections and liberties explicit and implicit that came by virtue of being part of this nation. And yet, what have we done in electing Donald Trump? We have taken a step backwards.
Still, perhaps we were not as forward thinking as we wished to tell ourselves and present ourselves to the world at large. Donald Trump tapped into a deep vein of hatred that runs through this nation. I can not say this is a great nation. I have not been able to say that for over a decade now. And I think that when I said it when I was younger, it was out of ignorance and believing the pretty stories we told ourselves about how good we are. I suppose one good thing to come out of the horrendous train wreck that has been this election cycle is that the seething, putrid wash of hatred that was fermenting beneath the surface has been revealed.
It has revealed how brother has turned against brother and the way that people wish ill upon others for merely existing. Some are concerned that we are a heartbeat away from a civil war. Others are afraid that the country is headed to ruin, with the likelihood of greater warfare happening within months of Donald Trump being sworn into office. In the meantime, no less than eleven people committed suicide within the last 24 hours with fear that they would have been murdered because of their status as part of the LGBT+ community. And this is only what I am aware of through my relatively small social circle. Gods only know what the final tally will be when sunrise comes tomorrow. I have lost count of how many people relating how they have been harassed and threatened with violence on the basis of their beliefs, their apparent racial background, and their gender presentation. This is but the tip of the iceberg that the good ship America has run into.
I will not attempt auguries to divine what manner of disaster awaits us. My heart can not stand that. I have spent my day feeling sick and horrified. I have been afraid for friends of mine who have moved from being in an abstract position of danger to one of real danger because Donald Trump's ascension has emboldened the people who threaten them. I sit here and question what I can do to oppose this rising tide of fascism. Do not let anyone tell you that this mess is something different. It is perhaps by the perversity of the Divine's humor that the election was decided upon the 78th anniversary of Kristallnacht.
I don't know if I will need to make plans to hide friends from some manner of governmental oppression. I don't know if I should carefully consider how to present as something I am not to ensure the safety of my children. I don't know where this leads. I only know that nothing good comes of this. I know this in my bones. I fear for the future. People who are dear to me have tried to assure me that the apathy that has run rampant through this country will insulate us from the greater dangers that lie about us. I question this assertion. When not even a full day after this man has won the race people are having their very lives threatened with impunity, I suspect that apathy will not save us. If anything, it will be further damnation.
I do know this, I will find away to stand against this. I will find away to resist the hatred. And, when the day is done, I will do my best to ensure that my children and the generations that come after them live in a nation that is closer to being more just and humane. Or at least die trying. Because sometimes, the war that is fought is in our hearts and minds, not with guns and forces of might. I will not be silenced.
So, save me a sunny spot on the wall. And I am sure we will have good company to hang in chains with if all things truly go to hell.
Labels:
friends in need,
politics,
ranting,
society/popculture
Thursday, November 03, 2016
NaNoWriMo Post No. 1 - WTF am I doing?
It has been a difficult couple of days. I was struggling with feeling depressed. Now I am in a mixed episode. I don't know how long it is going to persist. I rather dread going to the new psychiatrist on Monday. My first appointment was on Halloween. It was difficult because I talked about a lot of difficult stuff. Next appointment is going to be more of the same.
I've been busy with things like piles of laundry and dentist appointments over the last three days. Now, I sit here at the computer struggling to write. I am having a hard time concentrating. Thus, I am having a hard time putting together words for this blog. And I am at a loss for where to begin with the manuscript this year. I was going to pick up something I started last year for Camp NaNo but I didn't finish. Having sat with it and attempted to work with it, I feel like it is not going to work for me this year. I was going to do a fictionalized autobiography. But that just ... it all is striking too close to the real trauma I've been dealing with. So, I have set this aside. I don't know where I go from here. A part of me says I am mad for thinking about doing this year's novel by hand.
Ah well, time to pick up the pen and at least try. If nothing else, writing 3 pages (minimum) a day will end in this thing being full by the end of the month. Maybe I'll try something fanfiction or something like that. I don't know.
Word Count: 0
Goal: 50,000
I've been busy with things like piles of laundry and dentist appointments over the last three days. Now, I sit here at the computer struggling to write. I am having a hard time concentrating. Thus, I am having a hard time putting together words for this blog. And I am at a loss for where to begin with the manuscript this year. I was going to pick up something I started last year for Camp NaNo but I didn't finish. Having sat with it and attempted to work with it, I feel like it is not going to work for me this year. I was going to do a fictionalized autobiography. But that just ... it all is striking too close to the real trauma I've been dealing with. So, I have set this aside. I don't know where I go from here. A part of me says I am mad for thinking about doing this year's novel by hand.
Ah well, time to pick up the pen and at least try. If nothing else, writing 3 pages (minimum) a day will end in this thing being full by the end of the month. Maybe I'll try something fanfiction or something like that. I don't know.
Word Count: 0
Goal: 50,000
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