winter

winter

Thursday, November 03, 2016

NaNoWriMo Post No. 1 - WTF am I doing?

It has been a difficult couple of days. I was struggling with feeling depressed. Now I am in a mixed episode. I don't know how long it is going to persist. I rather dread going to the new psychiatrist on Monday. My first appointment was on Halloween. It was difficult because I talked about a lot of difficult stuff. Next appointment is going to be more of the same.

I've been busy with things like piles of laundry and dentist appointments over the last three days. Now, I sit here at the computer struggling to write. I am having a hard time concentrating. Thus, I am having a hard time putting together words for this blog. And I am at a loss for where to begin with the manuscript this year. I was going to pick up something I started last year for Camp NaNo but I didn't finish. Having sat with it and attempted to work with it, I feel like it is not going to work for me this year. I was going to do a fictionalized autobiography. But that just ... it all is striking too close to the real trauma I've been dealing with. So, I have set this aside. I don't know where I go from here. A part of me says I am mad for thinking about doing this year's novel by hand.

Ah well, time to pick up the pen and at least try. If nothing else, writing 3 pages (minimum) a day will end in this thing being full by the end of the month. Maybe I'll try something fanfiction or something like that. I don't know.

Word Count: 0
Goal: 50,000

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