Canned beets stump me.

I'm going to try this recipe out and see if it changes my feelings on canned beets. So far, borscht was the only way I could see eating this vegetable.

From Chowhound.com forums:

Get some onions and garlic going in a skillet, usually with butter and/or olive oil. When they are ready, drain and quarter the canned beets and add them to the skillet, cook them until they are blackened to your liking. Add a handful of roasted pecans or walnuts near the end for crunch. Works best with whole beets.

From Allrecipies.com

• 4 medium beets - scrubbed, trimmed and cut in half
• 1/3 cup chopped walnuts
• 3 tablespoons maple syrup
• 1 (10 ounce) package mixed baby salad greens
• 1/2 cup frozen orange juice concentrate
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 ounces goat cheese

Directions

1. Place beets into a saucepan, and fill with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, then cook for 20 to 30 minutes, until tender. Drain and cool, then cut in to cubes.
2. While the beets are cooking, place the walnuts in a skillet over medium-low heat. Heat until warm and starting to toast, then stir in the maple syrup. Cook and stir until evenly coated, then remove from the heat and set aside to cool.
3. In a small bowl, whisk together the orange juice concentrate, balsamic vinegar and olive oil to make the dressing.
4. Place a large helping of baby greens onto each of four salad plates, divide candied walnuts equally and sprinkle over the greens. Place equal amounts of beets over the greens, and top with dabs of goat cheese. Drizzle each plate with some of the dressing. 

 One of the commentators said you can replace the cooked beets with chilled, canned beets.

I'm still hunting through my cookbooks for something that helps to ease the ... intensity of the flavor of beets. Nobody really eats these things which makes them incredibly inexpensive. This makes me think that I need to find away to take advantage of this. I'm not a big fan of pickled beets but I know there has to be a way to make them that will agree with me and my palate. And on this one, I know that I am more discriminating on that taste then the boys are.

 

A crochet snood and other things.

I used this pattern with a bit of an alteration. Using thread weight crochet cotton and a size 'H' hook, I made my starting loop with the magic ring method. My first round was to crochet six stitches (single crochet) into the ring. When I came back to my first stitch, I pulled the tail and snugged the ring up tight. Round two had me crocheting two stitches into each stitch until I came back to the beginning of my round. I then put a marker at the beginning of the round. Round three I crochet two stitches into the first stitch and one into the second. I continued this around the round. (All of this was in single crochet.) Round four, I crochet two stitches into the first stitch and then one stitch into the next two stitches. I repeated this until I came back to the beginning of the round. I continued on in this fashion - adding one single crochet stitch for each round after the two stitches in the first (which turns out to be the first of the two stitches done together, so you can make sure that things line up properly that way).

When it became difficult for me to tell where to do two stitches together, I put markers at each increase. You should have six markers (including the one at the beginning of the round). Increase at each marker and then do one stitch for each stitch following until you come to the next marker. Do this until your circle is big enough to fit comfortably on the crown of your head. If you want it a little larger, that works well too. The way I checked to make sure it was the right size was to just set it on my head. When it covered the back of my head and the crown, I started on making the 'bag' portion.

This is where you chain two at the beginning of the round. This counts as your first half double crochet (hdc). Then do one hdc per stitch. As you work around the round, remove the markers, except for the one that marks the first stitch. Continue to work one hdc per stitch until the snood is long enough to be comfortable. Put it on your head from time to time to make sure that it is a comfortable length. When you have it just right, at the first stitch of your second to last round, chain four. This will be your first double crochet and chain. In the third stitch from the hook, do a double crochet. Chain one. Do another double crochet into the second stitch from the hook. Chain one. Continue in this fashion around the round. When you reach the beginning of the round, single crochet in that stitch. Then single crochet around the round into each stitch. Slip stitch the last stitch of this final round together with the first stitch and tie off. Weave in the ends.

Weave a ribbon through the gaps in the second to last round. When you wish to wear it, just tighten the ribbon by tying a bow. I secure it with a few bobby pins for a little extra insurance against slipping on my fine hair. If you wish, you can weave elastic through. Either way, make sure that your ribbon is long enough that you can tie around your head comfortably. Or your elastic is comfortably snug on your head before you sew the ends together. there will be some bunching of the snood. Don't let this trouble you. It is supposed to do this and adds to the charm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today has been a pretty good day so far. I feel a bit guilty that this is the first time I have had the opportunity to blog in here for a little while. And that I am letting housework go for a little longer while I do this. I am, however, resolute not to wallow in guilt. Blogging in here is as important as my daily journaling (which I will be doing next). It feeds my soul.

Snuggle Bug and I got our first real walk of the season in. I popped him into the stroller and we walked two miles today. On the way home, we stopped at the park. I let him run around and all over the playground. As he was going to town on the slide and teeter-totter, I was doing a little bit of spinning. We admired the flowers popping up in the butterfly garden over there and he had fun watching the ducks swimming in the lake.

I was hoping we'd get to see the albino duck that was here last year, but I saw no evidence of it. I did see a few juvenile ducks swimming on the stream that is the outlet from the lake when we crossed over it earlier in our walk. Snuggle Bug was more interested in watching the crows flying overhead then looking at the ducks then. There weren't any geese about, but I suspect there may be a few when we return over there in the late afternoon after Cuddle Bear gets home from preschool.

I think dinner for the kids tonight is going to be sandwiches. Something simple and not going to really heat the kitchen up. Because in the afternoon, it gets sweltering in here. The sun beats on the western side of the building for most of the afternoon. Beloved says that we'll be putting in the air conditioner in a little while if this heat wave keeps up. I suspect that may happen this weekend if the weather permits.

Playing in the Garden

I just finished up playing with my plants out on the back deck. I weeded two planters. I then took a bunch of young tomato plants and put them into a couple of pots. I also rearranged things with the one planter that lacks drainage holes in the bottom of it.

I took the soil out and put it into the plastic containers that my sons' Lunchables come in. These little rectangular, thin plastic tubs are not only awesome mini-greenhouses (which I discovered a few weeks ago) they are also just the right size to fit into the planter width wise. So there are now three little tubs instead of a planter full of very wet dirt. I may get some pebbles and put them into the bottom of the planter. I'm not decided yet on that one. One of the little tubs is filled with lemon balm. Another has been seeded with sweet basil. The third will have a small rosemary plant in it. There is still a few inches of planter that doesn't have anything in it. It is too narrow for a fourth Lunchables tub to go into. This is where the pebbles may come into play. They'd make a good anchor point for another bit of basil or something else similar that would be tolerant of a watery 'soil'.

I planted more nasturtium seeds in one of the other planters to replaced the plants that the frost we had a few weeks back killed. If it looks like we're going to get another cold snap, I think I'll put plastic wrap or something else similar over the thing. I only had one marigold come up out of the package of seeds that I bought a little while back. I don't know how I feel about that.

I've decided to put petunias in the hanging basket that is on the front porch. I haven't decided what I'm going to put into my terracotta planter that I have out there. I am leaning towards the cosmos that my MiL gave me a few weeks back.

I need to repot the lavender. It keeps getting flooded when ever it rains because the pot it is in just is horrible for drainage. I forget what I was attempting to grow in the other pot, but it's just not happening, for the same reason. One of my pots of tulips is functionally dead. It got knocked over a few weeks ago and the soil wasn't covering the bulbs. So when the weather changed, the bulbs got affected a LOT. I don't know what I'll be growing in that pot next. Maybe I'll put some tomatoes in it after I take the bulbs out.

Killing time. Die, time die!

Good Wednesday to you all.

I'm currently in between chores right now. I've gotten about half of the things on my 'To Do' list done. My living room is still a disaster but this week is the kitchen zone so I'm not going to panic over it. I've done something of a reboot on FLYLady. It is my hope to get this nonsense of falling away from it when I'm depressed dealt with it.

Mood wise, I am relatively stable right now. Maybe this cocktail of medications is working. I don't spend as many days depressed as I had before. Now I just want to get the other psychological fires put out so that I can move on to other things. I'm feeling a bit impatient with myself, but that's not too terribly different from usual.

Snuggle Bug just isn't feeling well today. He's been really fussy and clingy. I think he has caught some sort of cold. He doesn't want to eat and only grudgingly will drink something. It makes me think he may have a sore throat. Snuggle Bug has been napping off and on all day. I suspect that he will sleep well tonight, even with all of these naps. It is my hope that he feels better tomorrow. While apart of me appreciates the break I am getting from chasing him all over the house, I don't want him to be feeling miserable.

Cuddle Bear has been doing pretty good with using his words at school. Now I just need to get him to do it more at home. Over the last few weeks, the boys have gotten into quite a few wordless screaming matches and shoving/hitting/kicking each other. It's mainly been when Beloved is off at work. There was a couple of shoving matches over the weekend, though. I'm wondering if it's just that the boys have hit the 'terrible twos' stage or if they're acting out because they want Daddy.

Beloved has been working late for the last several weeks. He's getting vacation time, which is good. I'm hoping that maybe he'll get to take some time off and hang out with me and the kids before kindergarten starts in September. I'm looking forward to him having a three day weekend at the end of the month. I'm hoping it will be enough to ease some of the lines of worry out of his face. I try not to worry over him but this job has him way too stressed out.

I'm trying to think of anything else major to add right now. I'm a quarter of the way done on my knitted shawl. I have been spinning like a mad woman in preparation for Tour de Fleece. I used up all the fiber I had kicking around and had to beg some off of my MiL. To say the least, she was giggling as she dropped off a *big* ball of fiber. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all of the handspun that I've been getting whipped off. I do know this, however, learning to use that Navajo spindle is going to be tricky. That is my goal for TdF this year. I figure last year I spun a full mile (actually a mile and 33 yards), this year I can do just about anything I want.

I've been making hats lately. Some of them have been really funky looking. I'll try to post up pictures of them soon. It's just been a matter of playing around with the crochet hook and yarn. I have used up most of the handspun that I have made in a shawl and a few hats. I'm still trying to pick what pattern I'm going to make with that really lovely purple handspun that my MiL gave me for Yule a few years ago.

 Right now, I need to run and finish up my housework while Snuggle Bug is napping. I hope that all of you have a great day! <3

I don't know how I did it...

Some how, over the last few months I lost two dress sizes. I was a size 14 in December. Now I am a size 12. This explains why stuff has been almost falling off me. Today, I bought myself some more scarves. I bought two pairs of shorts. (It doesn't make sense to call them 'pairs' when they are single items. Our language is weird at times.) I also have a new blouse.

[...]

My random clicking and reading things on the internet brought me to the wikipedia entry about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I read the entire thing. I've spoken with veterans of World War II. One of them is my great-uncle Gene. These people are not people who take life or death lightly. I have, when I had the opportunity, asked them about their thoughts about this event.

An overwhelming number of them still stand in support of it. They are utterly convinced that it was correct to have used that weapon. Some of them even said that we should use it in Afghanistan. These are not blood thirsty monsters but rather people who have seen and had to do horrific things. Taking another man's life is not something to be done casually.

I must admit, I do not think the atomic bomb should have ever been invented. I do not think it should have ever been used. I feel the same way about biological warfare. I feel the same way about chemical warfare. I feel the same way about carpet bombing. I feel the same way about asymmetrical warfare (aka urban warfare aka terrorism).

War is a blight upon the Earth. It is among the greatest crimes that man can commit against the world. There is little difference, in my eyes, between war and genocide. Does this mean that we should be pacifists? If someone were to invade my home, should I not use deadly force to protect myself and my family? No. The use of deadly force when it is necessary is appropriate. We have the right to defend ourselves.

If this world were more just, war would not happen. The only time a fist was raised would be to defend oneself. Disagreements between nations would be settled by negotiation rather then arms. That is my dream. That humanity could live in peace with itself and the world, taking only what was needed and working to preserve the rest.

Sadly, however, war happens. Humans are terribly clever. We like to find ways to improve our skills in various areas and to be more efficient in our activities. This has even extended to how to kill. We have not only learned how to kill more effectively but also how to do it with less concern for the moral and ethical questions involved. People have been increasingly dehumanized. This makes the jump from 'person' to 'enemy combatant' to statistic easier. This makes the process of war more efficient.

It is something that I am deeply ashamed of. And my soul weeps for the civilians who are killed for the crime of being alive and native to the wrong country. I grieve the dead who were counted as 'acceptable losses' and robbed of their humanity. I question sometimes if any one else does so? Some one must remember them, lest we completely descend into monstrosity.

A recipe for Beltaine

I posted this up on my blog at Keen. I call it Beltaine Fruit Fool for Lovers. It is a variation of the Fruit Fool recipe that my Aunts taught me when I was much younger and learning to cook. It is incredibly simple and utterly decadent. A wonderful treat for lovers to share. And if you have some extra whipped cream left over, you always have many more options for how to use it. ;)

Ingredients
1 pint strawberries (cleaned, hulled, and quartered; reserve 2 for garnish)
1 pint heavy cream
1 tbsp vanilla
2 tbsp confectioner's sugar

Using a scrupulously clean bowl and whisk (both chilled in the refrigerator for 15 minutes), whip the cream until soft peaks begin to form. Beat in vanilla and confectioner's sugar until soft peaks form. Gently fold the strawberries into the whipped cream. Spoon into bowls and garnish with whole strawberry. Serve immediately.

Random thoughts for the day.

I've been busy lately. Snuggle Bug had a few days of testing recently. We're working on determining what services he is going to need when he starts preschool this summer. Currently, he is getting speech therapy and occupational therapy. There was a suggestion made for physical therapy. It was not because he is weak but because his skill present as a much younger child. This was also the case with Cuddle Bear, so I'm not too concerned. I'm just kinda worn out from all the running around.

In my efforts to stream line my home management stuff, I've come to the conclusion that we need to have another toy purge. I think part of the reason why there is always so many toys all over the floor is because the kids are overwhelmed by what they have. This means either giving away toys they have out grown or putting some aside into storage. It is a project for when both boys are off at preschool. Thus, it is going to be on either a Monday or a Friday that I do this. I know that as I get the toys under control, it will help me get the living room under control. This will help me feel empowered to take on the rest of the stuff.

I've become rather taken with the idea of Bento box lunches for the kids. As I don't have a toddler/preschooler sized Bento box, I picked up a few divided Tupperware containers. I'm going to start packing them for their lunches on the weekends and the days they are home from school. My morning routine is now going to include whipping together lunches. If I can manage to get myself and the kids into the habit of boxed lunches, it will make things like putting together Cuddle Bear's lunches for when he starts school in September a lot easier.

I finally busted out my sewing machine in the attempt to get caught up on the pile of sewing I have to do. I then discovered that my efforts to fix what ever its issue is were filled with fail. So, the sewing machine has been put away and I'm foraging on with hand stitching. As it stands right now, I have a veil that is half hemmed. It is made from the really bright pink floral print fabric that I bought a few years ago to make a wrap to carry Snuggle Bug in. Amusingly enough, that wrap has never really been used because Snuggle Bug has been a far too wiggly child to agree with it. I still have it put aside because I just adore the fabric. I may wind up using the wrap some other way. It has the dimensions of some of the larger wraps used by women in Southeast Asia, so I may have some new summertime outfits based upon this garment.

I've decided to try a cooking experiment. A few folks have talked about making 'hard boiled' eggs in the oven. I'm going to give it a try. I have two dozen eggs, one of which is going to be stale by this time next week. So, I am going to cook that dozen and make up egg salad for lunches. I am also going to put a few 'hard boiled' eggs aside for the boys to have as part of their dinner at some point next week too. I figure if I can find more ways to get protein into them, they'll put on a bit more weight.

At the WIC appointment last week, I was told that my boys are on the small side of things. I wasn't too surprised by that. There was some concern expressed over how Cuddle Bear is doing with weight gain. It doesn't help matters much that these boys are picky eaters. Their suggestions for how to get more veggies and proteins into the boys kinda made me laugh. It's what I am already attempting to do and not having much success. Hopefully, by offering more hearty snacks for after school time and getting creative with how I put meals together, I can get them to eat a wider variety of foods.

Thoughts on Teen Pregnancy.

I read this article and I found myself thinking about the circumstances of my own birth. My mother was seventeen when I was born (one week prior to her 18th birthday, to be precise). At the time, she was already a high school drop out. My parents married a little over a month and a half before I was born. I was born three months prematurely.

The area that I live in is not terribly well known for teen pregnancy. I can only imagine the kind of potential harassment that my mother had to deal with when she went into the grocery store. I was married and in my late twenties when I was pregnant with Cuddle Bear and I was harassed. It makes me question if there were better support in place if my parents would have waited to conceive me. At the same time, RockerChick was conceived and born while her father (my brother) and her mother were still teens in school.

Thirteen years later, I question if the needed knowledge was disseminated by the sex education classes we took. It seems like a lot of teens don't realize that some one can get pregnant on their first time having vaginal intercourse. It seems like many people who are in their twenties (and several in their thirties) don't understand that basic fact. It makes me feel disappointed with the whole affair.

Many people flail about screaming something about babies having babies. I still say the answer is prevention. And that prevention is a result of education. We can't just teach kids the mechanics of sex. We need to teach them about how to be responsible with sex. And for those teens who wind up pregnant, we need to provide them the same supports that we offer to grown women.

And I am of the opinion that greater supports need to be available to women who are in areas of economic distress. If we work together we can not only ensure the health and well being of these people and their children. We can maintain the strength (if not increase it) of the community. A community where people are educated, healthy, employed, and have it within their means to 'follow their bliss' is going to be one that is strong.

Somedays, however, I get the distinct impression that such a thing exists only in my imaginations.

Yay for self-publishing!

A good friend of mine self-published a book. Here's the link to it. He's a really smart guy and has a quirky (but awesome) sense of humor. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but when I do, look for a post about it.

The really awesome part is he's said he can help me figure out how to do this self-publishing thing. To say the least, I'm really excited for him and hoping that his book takes off. *SQUEE* This is so exciting!

Play dough & more garden rambling

Snuggle Bug was introduced to play dough today. He tried to eat it a few time and then decided it was more fun to squish against the table. I figure if I make it a regular activity it may serve to help build his fine motor coordination. It is one of a list of activities that were suggested by his occupational therapist.

On Tuesday, we had 'homework time' after dinner. Snuggle Bug was given a coloring book and crayons. Cuddle Bear and I practiced writing the letter 'I'. I figure since the preschool is sending Cuddle Bear home with activities to do, I may as well get the boys into the habit of sitting down after dinner and doing 'homework'. I think it will make it less of a shock when school starts sending it home.

Yesterday we went down to the hardware store. The boys really like going in there and saying hello to the owner. He and his staff enjoy having their smiling little faces pop in regularly and make a point of giving them lollipops when they've been good in the store. The visit to the hardware store wasn't just about being social. I was also buying some supplies.

I had been reading a few different websites on how to make your own greenhouse. One of them talks about making a frame and covering it over with plastic sheeting that is typically used to cover windows. I've a frame from when we lived at the old apartment in Lima. (The one with the drug dealers next door.) The plastic cover for that mini greenhouse got destroyed over the winter. I've decided to make a new one with some plastic sheeting and duct tape. It is probably going to look pretty ugly, but I just want it to be functional.

I have cut up plastic bottles over the seeds that I planted early in pots. Right now, all of my potted plants are inside. The weather turned cold and I didn't want to have them get burned by frost. The warmth of the apartment seems to be doing the plants good. I wish I had more light in that back hallway, but I think this is going to just be for a few days.

Fortunately, we're near the lake which helps keep the air warmer then it would be on the top of a hill, like at my parents-in-law's place. Looking at the weather maps and such, I am optimistic that by the end of the weekend it will be warm enough for me to put the plants back outside. I'm hoping that we don't get any snow accumulated over the next few days. I'm just tired of cold weather and want it to finally be spring.

Gardening Notes & Rambling

I have several pots of plants out front. In them I have:

• Dianthus (seeds)
  
• Tulips (pink in one pot, random color in the other)
• Lavandula officinalis (seeds)
  

In the partial sun bed, I have:

• Tulips (random color)
• Daffodils
• Narcissus
• Hyacinths
• Impatiens (seeds)
• Forget-Me-Not

In the deep shade bed, I have:

• Narcissus (which *really* needs moved)
• Coleanthus (seeds)
• Columbine (seeds, which may or may not grow)
• Impatiens (seeds)

On the back deck, I have pots with:

• Geraniums (pink and orange)
• Ivy
• Dwarf marigold (seeds)
• Pansies (seeds)
• Nasturtium (seeds)
  
• Strawberries

I've yet to fill my remaining pots with soil. I plan to grow:

• Roses
  
• Tomatoes
• Peas
• Squash
• Peppers
• Basil
• Mint
• Thyme
• Blue berries (if I can find one that'll grow in a pot for me)

I've spoken with the landlord and he is willing to supply the materials to make a circular raised bed where the fire pit was. Area of the circular bed = 20 ft It is a partial sun spot that get's predominantly morning and afternoon sun. I will need to do a little bit of planning for that spot. I must, however, not forget to discuss with him the acquisition of mulch and a few other plants for the deep shade bed. I'm fairly sure that a good number of the seeds I planted are not going to do very well in that bed. It is in the shade all day.

I may, however, get lucky. He just might be willing to spring for a bleeding heart or something else equally showy for the hanging basket by the front door. I am considering planting some morning glories and training them up the side of the building. We'll see if he goes for that concept or not. And if the seeds I saved from a few years ago are still even any good.

yarn.

I'm currently working on getting myself ready for the Tour de Fleece. I did it last year and spun a full mile of thread. This year, I am going to focus on getting the braid of pink roving used up. Currently, I am working on getting back into practice. Part of what I am doing is spinning up fiber that I've had stashed for a while. My goal is to have only the pink roving that I got at Yule left to be spun. As such, I have taken the approach:

All Yarn Is Perfect!

Currently, I am spinning up some white Corriedale. Or atleast, I think it's Corriedale. I may be incorrect in my recollection. It's been almost a year since my MiL gave me the bag of fiber. I'm doing a thick-thin yarn and I'm calling it Frigga's Handwork. I'm trying to bring out the fluffiness of the yarn in the thick sections and sort of evoke the fluffiness of the clouds (which Frigga spins with her spindle). I am not thinking about what I am going to do with this yarn. I'm just focusing on spinning it and getting the technique right.

I've spent so much time over the last year spinning lace weight and cobweb weight singles that I really needed to get involved with something with more texture. Thus, this yarn. I'm not sure if I'm going to leave it as a single or ply it with something else. I'm a bit undecided on that front right now.

Right now, I am just spinning and not focusing on making the yarn smooth and even. Because this is an Art Yarn and all textures in it are perfect as they are.

Long day is long.

Today, I overslept again. As such, Cuddle Bear did not go to preschool today. It made for a long day. I did get a little bit of the housework I wanted to do today done. I was thinking about possibly washing some more laundry but decided that it wasn't worth the effort.

The things we did today were:

1. Go for a walk and look at where the town had been doing some construction work. Snuggle Bug was especially charmed by the excavator. He kept reaching out to touch it as we were walking past it. Cuddle Bear had fun jumping over where they had flags marking out where they were yet to dig. Fortunately, no flags were disturbed and it didn't cause any problems. We passed by when they were going on their lunch breaks. A few of the construction workers chuckled at the boys.

2. Grabbed a quick bite to eat. I had half of a Ruben sandwich and fries. The boys split a turkey club sandwich between them. They nibbled on the tomato and ate half of my fries. I saved the leftovers and that was what the kids had for dinner. It was so hot today, I just didn't have it in me to cook anything.

3. Looked for flowers on our walk home. This included looking about the yard when we got home. It was nice to see that the dog violets are up. I am also delighted to report that my hyacinths are blooming. Small purple-blue flowers, but flowers none the less. I don't think the poor things get enough light where they are situated.

4. Did some 'educational' efforts while Snuggle Bug was napping. Cuddle Bear practiced writing his letters and we practiced counting. Cuddle Bear is getting better at picking out the correct number for what he wants to say. He's finally making the connection between what he has counted out loud and the squiggles on the paper. I'm really pleased with this development. Now to just get him willing to work on writing his name.

5. Wandered around the front yard. Snuggle Bug decided that he and I had to walk around the yard to look at the flowers. I made a point of showing him and Cuddle Bear how the trees were getting leaves on them and the tiny flowers they had. Snuggle Bug wasn't that impressed but Cuddle Bear seemed pleased. I got to do a little bit of weeding in one of the flowerbeds on the eastern side of the building. Snuggle Bug insisted on trying to go up to the back deck. When I had enough of that nonsense we went inside. Fortunately, it was time for dinner.

After dinner, the boys watched videos on Youtube. For a while, Cuddle Bear and Snuggle Bug were both sitting in my lap. It was sweet that both of my boys were feeling affectionate. It was also sweltering because it was 75 degrees and I was sitting in front of a sunny window. They had been somewhat whiney and a bit cranky for a good portion of the day. I am inclined to blame the heat.

Supposedly it is to be a good ten degrees cooler tomorrow. I'll believe it when I see it. Theoretically, it is also supposed to rain. I hope it will because I have plants and seeds that needs it. If it doesn't, however, Friday evening, I'll be out with my watering can. I hope to have a better year with the plants this year.

I hate my brain chemistry issues.

It's a beautiful day outside. I don't have a ton of housework to worry over. It just looks worse then it really is due to all the toys scattered on the floor. In fifteen minutes I have gotten the kitchen 90% done. So why do I feel like Sisyphus? Why do I just want to go hide somewhere and cry?

Oh, yeah, I'm bipolar and hormonally off because of my menses. I hate this. I really, truly, and honestly hate this feeling depressed and worthless for no goddamn reason.

I'm trying to trick myself into feeling less depressed by listening to my happy music. It doesn't seem to be working at the moment.

Stomach bug and such...

So, I managed to catch the stomach bug that is making the rounds over here. It made the last few days miserable. Beloved was an absolute angel and minded the kids most of the day today so that I could nap. It's done wonders for how I'm feeling. Now to just get the rest of the nonsense with my stomach sorted out and I'll be all good.

It's amazing how nice it is to eat solid food with out fear of it coming back up. :P

All of that said, I've taken to knitting when I am anxious or doing crochet. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist last week and didn't have any knitting or crochet with me. So I took the few minutes that I had to spare and stopped in wally world. Picked up some extra bulky hot pink yarn and some big needles. Just finished knitting that scarflett (mini-scarf, whatever) this evening as I was waiting for the kids to fall asleep. I also knit several rows on the shawl I'm working on.

I feel a bit disappointed. I am already bored with this thing and I haven't gotten even ten rows done on it. In all fairness, I am knitting a hundred stitches per row so it does get a bit tedious. I may switch from just knitting this to doing some sort of a lace pattern. It is worsted weight yarn, so it will not look quite as airy as it would with fingering or lace weight yarn. At the same time, the lace pattern would keep me from just shoving this thing into a drawer and forgetting about it for days on end (which I have done since I started it a few weeks ago).

Between minding the kids when they were sick last week and being sick myself, I kinda fell of the FLYLady wagon a bit. I'm going to give myself a pass, however, because it wasn't like I really had an option on that front. Puking children don't mix very well with cleaning house, never mind maintaining said clean house. Thankfully, Beloved hasn't caught this thing. Gods willing, he won't. It's a nasty little bug.

Social life? Meh.

I went out last night to the LARP that I participate in. I spent a good chunk of the night feeling somewhat bored and uncomfortable. Add to that the fact that I was completely out of ideas as to how I could cause mischief and it resulted in a fairly uneventful (game wise) session. I spent more time just talking with people I know.

It made me realize just how much I tend to isolate myself. It was a disappointment to realize that. I've been struggling with my mental illness. It was a surprise to see just how much of a struggle it has been to maintain my social contacts even by way of internet activity. I've started working with a social worker in the hopes of building more contacts within the community I live in. I was getting frustrated with that business but neglecting my established social connections.

To say the least that realization bothered me as I drove home. I functionally don't have a social life except for a handful of things I do. I need to correct that. It's not healthy of me to withdraw so much and it is my hope that I will do more to work on that. This little blog entry is essentially my making public a promise to myself: I will maintain my relationships and build more over the next year.

I think it will be harder then learning a new language or finally learning linear algebra. A part of me is filled with dread. That will pass, eventually. To all of my friends that happen to read this, I am sorry that I have been so quiet. I will do my best not to be so quiet moving forward from this point.

I love my kids.

Today has been an exasperating and generally frustrating day. The youngest has been in a contrary mood and the eldest is ill.

Just the same, I love them dearly and wouldn't trade these moments. I am deeply thankful that I have them in my life. I am a blessed woman, even though somedays I have a hard time keeping that fact in sight.

Random thoughts.

I just realized that if I had a single typed page for each entry in here, I would have a book written by now.

It gives me a great deal of hope to see this.

In other news, I'm so annoyed with the kids trashing the room literally behind me as I finish cleaning something up. I absolutely can't wait for preschool tomorrow. Both boys are going to be out of the house for a little while and I can have a little peace.

Things to learn

Here is my list of things that I want to learn this year:

1. Spanish
2. German
3. Nalbinding
4. Tatting
5. Medieval poetry forms
6. Kenning
7. Weaving techniques
8. Solar dying
   
9. Linear algebra
10. How to make a corset
    

feminisim

i am what one would call a classical feminist. my more militant feminist friends would most likely feel that i am not taking a hard enough stance, if not out right betraying 'the cause' in being a housewife. what they forget is that feminism is about giving women the ability to CHOOSE how they're going to live their lives professionally, to CHOOSE how they manage their reproductive and sexual health, and to protect the RIGHT to those choices (among many others).

it's is stolen from my Facebook page.

if you don't know what the story is on feminism here's a good place to start:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism