Homespun Holidays: Gifts for the Gourmet

With the holiday season beginning at Thanksgiving, it can be a little hair-raising to see what gifts are touted for the gourmet cooks in our lives. The various gadgets and wondrous cooking devices that strangely resemble Medieval torture devices to the untrained eye are usually priced high enough that they may as well be equipment for making a poor soul suffer unspeakable agony. Fortunately, however, there are a few simple gifts that are always well received by any cook, gourmet or not.

Flavored Vinegars & Oils

For the cost of a few pretty bottles and herbs, it is possible to put together a gift that appears to be far more expensive and is virtually effortless. When making flavored vinegars or oils, it is best to allow them to cure in a separate jar before bottling. This eliminates mess and allows you to strain your liquids before bottling, thus ensuring a clear fluid in the bottle 90% of the time. Prior to making any of the following items, be sure that all of your equipment is scrupulously clean.

Rosemary Vinegar

Rosemary is one of those lovely potted herbs that are available for sale just about everywhere right now because it is popular to use for a live Christmas tree. Make sure that you are getting Rosemary, if you're choosing to use sprigs of fresh Rosemary from the plant itself. (I highly suggest this as the bush is wonderfully fragrant and an excellent investment if you do any herbal gardening!) If you are not purchasing the plant, it is possible to buy sprigs of Rosemary from the grocery store's produce section in most large grocery stores. Failing this, take a small steel tea ball and put one to two pinches of whole dried Rosemary leaves in it.

Fill a 2 quart jar with white vinegar and place two sprigs of Rosemary in (or your tea ball). Cover with the lid and place in a cool dark location until shortly before Christmas eve. (Roughly 1 month.) At this time, retrieve the vinegar and pour it into a bowl. Strain the herbs out of the liquid and discard. Pour your vinegar into your cleaned and sterilized bottles, cap, and seal with a bit of wax dripped on top.

Attach your label with a ribbon and you've finished the gift. Fine bottles to use for giving flavored vinegars are wine bottles. Make sure, however, that you have cleaned and sterilized the bottle, as well as removed the label. A sprig of dried Rosemary can be added to the vinegar at the time of bottling for decorative purposes or tied to the label.

Chili Oil

Chili oil is quite versatile and can be a wonderful accompaniment to many savory winter dishes. Make sure that the dried chilies that you choose are well cleaned and not too hot for the person you're giving this gift to. In a cleaned and sterilized 2 quart jar, place two chilies. If you would like for the chili flavor to be even stronger, add three. Cover tightly and place in a cool, dark place for two weeks at minimum. As with bottling the Rosemary vinegar, strain the chilies out and discard. Keeping the chilies in the oil will add greater amount of the volatile oils within the chilies (the sources of the flavor) to the oil and make the flavor more pronounced.

Bottle, cap, and seal as with the Rosemary vinegar. Thread a chili onto the ribbon affixing the label to your flavored oil.

Chili HoHo

This is a Colonial style vinegar and is quite potent. Completely fill a clean bottle dried pequin chilies. Then pour in enough white vinegar to cover the chilies. Cover and place in a cool, dark place for at least two weeks, shaking occasionally. Once the liquid has taken on a rich red color, you are now ready to seal and label your gift. This can be made using gin, sherry, or vodka in place of vinegar. Be sure to warn the gourmet cook receiving this gift that it should be used sparingly. As the Chili HoHo is used, more vinegar or alcohol can be added.

Spice Sachets

A square of cheesecloth, a length of butcher's twine, and some of the spices in your kitchen leads to a basket full of additions to soups, stews, and roasts that will make your chef smile in appreciation. Using dried whole herbs rather then powdered is best. Given below are some spice mixtures for you to use.

Boquet Garni

• Basil
• Parsley
• Thyme
• Bay
• Tarragon
• Peppercorn

Italian

• Rosemary
• Basil
• Marjoram
• Thyme
• Oregano

Equipment Boquet

Every cook knows the value of a good wooden spoon. We also know that eventually, our favorite wooden spoon is going to break, our rubber tipped spatula will look like it was used by a poodle puppy for teething, and the wire whisk is going to rust. As such, buying the cook in your life a few good quality wooden spoons, a spatula, and one or two other commonly used cooking implements will be appreciated. Tied together with a pretty ribbon and given in an inexpensive vase, large jar, or pretty and inexpensive oversized mug not only gives them replacements for when their cherished tools are used up but a place to keep them.

A Cooking Journal

One of my most treasured possessions is my cooking journal. It's different from a mere cookbook because I not only have recipes in there but also menus, shopping lists, and my notes as to what food allergies my family has. Nothing is more helpful then knowing what your neice will absolutely always refuse or that your sister-in-law is deathly allergic to shellfish when you are planning a dinner.

If you choose, it is possible to make the cooking journal a little more wonderful then a tab-divided notebook. With a little bit of time and creativity, the journal can be made to look more like a scrap book with pictures and pretty details. If you choose to take more of a scrap book approach, I highly advise you go the distance with it. Purchase page protector sleeves and use either an actuall scrap book or a three ring binder to hold it all together.

I, personally, would opt for the binder because it will be less expensive then trying to locate a pretty and yet durable scrap book cover. If you wish to personalize the cover, use a three ring binder with pockets on the covers and bindings which will allow you to add your own artwork to it. The sleeve protectors will make it easy to keep the cooking journal/scrap book in good condition as well as they're incredibly easy to wipe spills off of.

Your Own Cookbook

If you are like me, half of the family clamors for about half of the recipies that you have made. Make a list of those recipies and sit down at the computer, folks! You've got the makings of a quick and easy cookbook. Type up the recipies, throw in a few cute pictures from clip art, and fire up the printer. Binding them with staples is the easiest thing in the world and your gift can be done in an hour. If you have decided to give some one a cooking journal, it is possible to add your cookbook to it by simply punching the pages and slipping them into the binder.

Reject the Holiday Hype

    I suppose I should warn you, I don't like having holiday advertising everywhere. It's not so much that I hate the holidays as it is that I hate the hype. Last I checked, the Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving was as much of a myth as the Tooth Fairy. Oh, that post-card perfect Christmas, complete with everyone dressed in red velvet with white trim? That's not real except for as a picture, so don't get sucked into it either.

     I'm not sure why everyone is bombarded with demands from advertising campaigns everywhere that we buy mass produced garbage... erm, truck loads of the latest toys for the children who are even remotely in our lives. I'm not sure why there's something assumed to be wrong in your relationship if your significant other doesn't give you some exotic and incredibly expensive gift. If you're a woman, you're supposed to be draped in diamonds and other precious gemstones, wearing cashmere and generally looking like something out of a high end luxury catalog. If you're a man, you're supposed to have all of the fabulous and fascinating gadgets available this season.

     I don't know about you, but these unwritten rules and the laundry list of others that get thrown at us every year by the advertising campaigns are crazy. Actually, crazy isn't the right term and the one which comes to mind as I sit here writing this is far too vulgar to use, so we'll have to just leave that there. I find it incredibly demeaning to see this high consumerist and spoiled self-entitlement attitude being promoted everywhere you turn.

     This year, we are getting a reprieve, so I can't say it's as bad as it usually is. There is one good thing that has come out of the insanity of the current economic crisis and the political ugliness of the campaigns leading up to the election earlier this month, they didn't start bombarding us immediately after Columbus Day with advertising. With Thanksgiving coming up, however, we're hearing the ads singing the praises of spending like it is going out of style for 'Black Friday' creeping up.

     As we move into the holiday season, folks, let's do our best not to get sucked into the hype. Don't feel guilty if you can't afford that deluxe widget for that overpriced thingamajig that you gave the guy in your life. The same item that has sat on the shelf in it's original packaging ever since it got unwrapped on his birthday. Don't assume that you need to give the kids those outlandishly expensive toys that need forty billion batteries and about eight different sizes.

     The whole hype is a scam. Your holidays are perfect as they are because you put love into them. You may not have the 'perfect' family portrait or a pile of gifts that reaches up to hip height in the middle of the room. That's ok. Your Thanksgiving turkey may be a little bit over cooked and the stuffing on the dry side. This doesn't matter. What matters is you are with the ones you love and that you celebrate the bonds of family and friendship, not the image of the holidays that gets forced down our throats by the advertising campaigns.

(I originally posted this back in 2008. I think it still is relevant.)

Homespun Holidays: Gifts from the Kitchen

    Isn't the kitchen a wonderful place during the holidays? Filled with the wonderful scents of baked goodies, fantastic dinners, and (at least around my place) about half of your guests who want to visit while you're cooking. (If you're evil like I am, you may even put a few of them to work too!) The kitchen need not only be the place where food is prepared, dishes and pots washed, and the staging area for all holiday gatherings in your home. If you simply can not afford to go out and buy all the gifts you wish to give, you can make them in between cooking up a storm in there.
 
     Some of these projects may require a bit of time, but the results have always proven worth it for me. If you have small children, you will find that some of these projects are ones that you can do with them. Please, please take the time to do so if you can. Among my most cherished memories from my childhood are the memories of making Christmas presents for my extended family. This may also be true for the children in your life.

Salt Clay Ornaments & Baskets

     If you have ever used the play-clay that's out on the market you already know how to use salt clay. There are quite a few variations to this wonderful kitchen creation. The recipe that I am giving you is for baking in your oven however if you add a few tablespoons of cooking oil it can be stored in an air tight container and used for play-clay for several weeks.

     In a large mixing bowl, combine two cups of plain flour, one cup of salt, and two cups of water. Mix this together until a stiff dough is formed. Turn this salt clay out onto a counter top or other flat surface and knead a few times. Once the dough is smooth, you are ready to begin making your ornaments.

     Roll out your salt clay until it is roughly a 1/4 of an inch to a 1/2 inch thick. Thicker then this and your ornaments will crack as they bake in the oven. Using cookie cutters, cut out your desired ornaments. With a pencil, poke a hole where you wish to hang your ornament. Then place the ornaments upon a foil lined cookie tray, making sure they are not touching. If your ornaments are a 1/2 inch thick, you will want to prick them all over with a fork to ensure even drying when they bake.

     Heat your oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake for one hour or until the ornaments are golden colored and hard. Remove the ornaments to a cooling rack to allow them to cool enough that they can be handled comfortably. Then paint, spray with varnish (Hair spray can be used in a pinch!), and, when everything is dry, thread a ribbon or a length of yarn thru the hole you made with your pencil. Your ornament is now ready for hanging up or giving.

      If you wish, spices can be added to the salt clay to scent it or food coloring can be added to give the clay itself color. The use of food coloring to color the salt clay is not very effective if you are making ornaments as it fades significantly upon baking. When using salt clay with children, keep an eye out as to how much they may try to eat. While salt clay is non-toxic, it will still give your child a stomach ache if they eat it. (Though I don't know why they'd eat it because it tastes horrid.)

     If you have bowls that are oven safe, they work quite well for the next project. Take your salt clay and cut it into several narrow strips. Then coat the out side of a bread pan (or a bowl) with non-stick spray. Place strips of salt clay over the pan's widest portion on the bottom. Weave thru them a sufficent number of strips of salt clay to allow space for weaving along the narrower dimension of the pan.

     Taking the remaining strips of salt clay, weave around the bread pan until it is covered. When you require strips of greater length then what you have available, it is possible to join two strips of salt clay with a small amount of water and a little kneading. Once the bread pan is covered with salt clay, bake in the oven for an hour or until golden colored and hard. As with the ornaments, this basket can be painted and covered in varnish.

Cookies in a Jar

     Everyone loves cookies. While it may be wonderful to give a tin full of home made cookies as a gift, not everyone has the time to bake them. Here is where a little bit of recycling and a little bit of cooking collide. Take a two quart glass jar and clean it well. (Depending upon the brand of spaghetti sauce you buy, it is possible that you have canning jars in disguise! If you don't have one, canning jars are incredibly inexpensive and available at most grocery stores.) It is a very good idea to soak the label off of your jar while you are cleaning it.

     Measure out the dry ingredients to make a single batch of your favorite or most popular type of cookie. Layer them in your clean and dry jar. Screw the top onto the jar. Cut out a small piece of scrap fabric (or a piece of wrapping paper, but fabric works better) large enough to cover the top of the jar and part of the sides. On a 3 x 5 index card with a hole punched in the corner, write the complete recipe down. With a length of butcher's twine, tie the fabric to the top of the jar, slip the recipe card onto the twine, and then tie with a pretty bow.

     The same principle for Cookies in a Jar can be used for Soup in a Jar. Instead of the dry components for a batch of cookies, fill the jar with an assortment of dried beans sorted by color and then attach a recipe card with directions for how to make bean soup. It is a good idea to layer the beans by color but if you desire a more mottled appearance, don't sort them but rather fill the jar with the beans at random. Always check your dried beans to make sure that your beans are free of stones.

Kitchen Devil

     One of the little things that has proven amazingly popular in my gift giving experience is a kitchen devil. I know this sounds like a funny name for a bit of string with dried chilies attached, but who am I to argue with tradition. Some people like to use just dried chilies while others also add small bundles of cinnamon sticks to the string as well. If you are giving a kitchen devil as a gift, it can be paired with a jar of kidney beans and a recipe for chilli. When doing anything with chilies, be careful not to touch your face and make sure you wash your hands.
     The active agent in chili peppers is the basis of that pepper spray used to chase away muggers, wild animals, and charging drunks. Even though your peppers are dried, the oils are still present and they should be handled with care. There is a wide range of chili peppers that can be used in making a kitchen devil. The variety that I have found most popular are the jalapeno peppers. They are also more mild then some of the other peppers available and generally less expensive as well. Make sure that the person receiving the kitchen devil is aware that they should hang it away from the stove, the sink, or other places where a great deal of moisture is present. This helps preserve the kitchen devil longer.

Homespun Holidays: Gifts

It is almost time for the holiday madness to begin. Some people will start putting up their decorations as soon as the last of the trick-or-treaters leave and others will wait for the day immediately before their celebrations. With a little bit of planning and a little bit of effort, it is possible to avoid a large amount of the anxiety for which the holiday season has become infamous for. My family are a bit tight on money this year, like many others in the face of the economic 'crisis' that is often talked about in the news today. Between bills, basic needs, and the financial obligations that come with parenthood, there isn't much money left over for holiday spending.

Fortunately, however, it doesn't need to take a lot of money. One of the biggest sources of anxiety is the matter of gifts, especially gifts for children. Using inexpensive materials, it is possible to make gifts for the children in your life with the amount of effort being quite simple. Stopping in any craft store, it is possible to put together a small basket for scrapbooking for under thirty dollars. It is also possible to obtain the materials to make gifts for more people for the same amount of money. The question is how much work you wish to put in to it. Given below are three craft ideas that use common household objects in an innovative fashion to produce a lovely holiday gift.

Personalized Picture Frame

This picture frame is decorated with a process known as decoupage. This process can be used to decorate just about anything that the glue will stick to. If you desire, you can add bits of fabric, rickrack, beads, and other materials. It is best to leave the addition of 3-D objects such as beads until the final layer of images is completed. If you don't wish to use hair spray to seal your frame, there are commercial sealants for use on paintings. This will also work well, though it will cost more then the generic can of hair spray in your bathroom.
Items Needed:

1. 1 inexpensive medium sized picture frame with a moderately wide, unfinished wooden molding
2. An array of magazines with photos
3. Scissors
4. Liquid white glue (also known as school glue, not to be confused with rubber cement)
5. Paintbrush
6. Small container of water
7. A can of hair spray

The first step in this project is to select pictures from your magazine that remind you of the person whom you are making this frame for. Depending on how you wish to present the frame, it is possible to use small or medium pictures for this project. One can use portions of pictures for this project and no harm will be done. This is a creative work and your artistic discretion is paramount.

In your container of water, mix your glue and water together until it resembles skim milk in appearance. Disassemble your picture frame, placing the backing, glass, and any matting material aside. Using your paint brush, apply a thin layer of the glue mixture to your frame's molding. Assemble the first layer of images on your frame. Allow the glue mixture to dry. Usually, this is for an hour if you used a thin coat. A thicker coating of the glue mixtures requires a longer period of time.

Once the frame is dry, apply another coat of the glue mixture over the paper. This needs to be a thin coat to prevent weakening the paper or otherwise degrading your images selected from something such as having the ink from printing them run. When the frame is dry, apply a third coat of the glue mixture and assemble your next layer of images. Allow this to dry. Continue the layering process until your frame is covered in the selected images. With each layer, add another hour of drying time prior to adding more to it.

When your layering is finished and dry, spray heavily with the hair spray. Set aside and allow to dry. The hair spray works to seal the glued images to the frame and help resist atmospheric moisture, prolonging the life of your gift. Upon completion, re-assemble the frame and insert any picture you wish to give. If no picture is to be given, just the frame, wrap the frame lightly with tissue paper and place into your gift bag.

Yarn Dollies

Nothing says homespun more then classic children's toys. Yarn Dollies are definitely one of the oldest and easiest children's toys to make. There are countless variations appropriate for different ages. Dolls can be used by children of either gender (Because that's what those action figures really are!) and are wonderful tools for development because they encourage imaginary play.
Items Needed:

1. 1 skein of yarn
2. Ruler and a pencil
3. Scissors
4. Cardboard

Determine how long you desire for the doll your making should be. With your ruler and pencil, mark off this length on your cardboard. Cut your cardboard to this dimension. Take your skein of yarn and wrap it once around the cardboard. Tie a square knot to secure the loose end and then wrap your yarn about the cardboard 100 times. This determines the thickness of your doll. If you desire thicker or thinner, adjust the number of times you wrap your yarn accordingly. Tie a square knot to secure your final wrap of the yarn and cut free from the skein.

Cut a length of yarn from your skein long enough for you to be able to tie around the wrapped yarn. Pick one edge of the cardboard and tie your yarn together into a bundle there. Secure this with a square knot. If you desire to have your yarn remain looped, fold your length of cardboard enough to remove the tension on your loops of yarn. This will allow you to slip your yarn free from the cardboard. With a second length of yarn, tie another knot about the bundle of yarn roughly an inch down from the knot holding your looped yarn in a bundle. This forms the head of your doll.

Divide your yarn bundle into four separate smaller bundles. The two bundles to the outside of the arrangement need to be tied close to the lower knot forming the head with a separate length of yarn for each. A third of the way to the ends of these bundles, the bundle needs secured here as well. This roughly forms the arms. The arms then have the excess yarn cut off after the lower knot. Additional lengths of yarn can be knotted to secure the arms additionally, but this is not required.

At roughly the same distance from the head of your doll as the ends of the doll's arms are, secure the two inner bundles together. This forms the body of the doll. The legs are then formed in the same fashion as the arms. If you desire for the doll to have a 'dress' the legs need not be divided and secured. If you are so inclined the arms, body, and legs can be braided prior to knotting. If you are giving this doll to a young child, the braiding is a good idea as it helps prevent the child from accidentally pulling the doll apart and eating some of the yarn.

Tin Can Tea Light Lantern

This project is slightly more difficult and oriented towards an adult or teenager construction. I've done this project several times in the past and I have had favorable reactions. I strongly advise that when constructing this project, hold the can still with a pair of blocks or something else that is safer then your knees. If a vise is available, use it but be careful not to crush your can. Use caution! The designs best suited for punching are geometric. Think about the star patterns on the old steel and aluminum colanders, they are great sources of ideas!

Items Needed:

1. 1 empty 10 oz steel can, washed, dried, and label removed
2. Masking tape
3. Pattern template
4. Hammer and 1 ten penny nail
5. 4 in length of steel wire and pliers
6. Safety glasses and leather workman's gloves

With your masking tape, secure your pattern template to your can. Using the hammer and nail, carefully punch holes into your can as indicated on the template. Take care to avoid punching the nail completely through the can. As you work, the can will deform slightly. This is to be expected and using your gloves, you can return the can to it's proper shape with some gentle pressure. If the can has sharp edges at the opening, carefully tap the rim until the edges are blunted and turned inwards.

If a hanging hook is desired, a length of wire can be cut to form it. Taking a pair of pliers, bend an end of the wire into a button hook shape and slip through a hole near the top of the can. Secure the end of the wire by twisting it around the length left free. Make sure the sharp end of the wire is pointing down into the can, if possible threaded through the coils created by wrapping the wire. Repeat this at the opposite side of the can in a hole at approximately the same place. This will give your tin can lantern a bucket like appearance.

Use this lantern with care because metal conducts heat. Painting the lantern is not a good idea because the heat from the candle can potentially scorch the paint. It is wise to make sure that the wire used for the hanging hook is of the same material as the lantern itself. If you have an aluminum can, do not use steel wire. Aluminum encourages the corrosion of steel in the presence of moisture and you will eventually develop rust streaks down the aluminum.

Poem: Precipice

Standing on an edge of glass
Wind screaming in my face
Is it tears or blood running down my cheek?
Dizzying space beyond
A butterfly of hope
A mirage of courage
Is it my dreams or my pride I chase?
Empty air above
Devastation below
Or is it freedom before me?


I'm beginning the process of transferring my work from Triond to here. Here's a poem I wrote about risk taking. From 2008.

NaNoWriMo vs NaBloPoMo (round 1! FIGHT!)

Two literary heavy weights are squaring off. On the right, we have National Blog Posting Month. On the left, we have National Novel Writing Month. Originally, I had the wild idea of doing both this year. Then life happened. I now have just over a week worth of blog posts to make if I want to get on target for NaBloPoMo. On the other hand, I'm almost half finished with my manuscript for National Novel Writing Month.

It makes me think that perhaps I'll just finish the manuscript and then blog the remainder of the month. Then do the post every day for the month of December. Because November doesn't have to be the only month of the year for either of those challenges. Oh, and for the curious, I'm working on book five of the fantasy series that I'm writing. I've officially crossed into the territory of writing a series of books now. Once I finish this, I'll have 15 more books to write and the series will be finished.

Field trips, Trains, and Running in Circles

It has been a very challenged couple of weeks. School stuff has kept me hopping. There were a few field trips and a few meetings. Cuddle Bear really enjoyed the field trip at the beginning of the month to the Genesee Country Museum. I had the opportunity to go as a chaperone but I didn't take it because I had a meeting with my psychiatrist that day. By all reports, he had a good time and was very well behaved. This relieved me because Cuddle Bear was being a bit difficult at the time.

Snuggle Bug had a field trip last week to the Seneca Park Zoo. It was another chance to be a chaperone that I missed because of scheduling conflicts. He was very excited to go and see the monkeys, tigers, and bears. It was all he talked about for a few days afterwards. It was another trip where my little one was well behaved and happy.

It makes the reports from school that Snuggle Bug has been having temper-tantrums very difficult. I'm trying to find out if there has been any changes to his schedule or classroom. From what I can tell, there has not been any major changes. Snuggle Bug needs a very orderly routine because he doesn't transition well between activities. While Cuddle Bear has some trouble with that, it is not quite as severe as Snuggle Bug's difficulties. Snuggle Bug has also been talking about how he doesn't want to go to school just about every day for the last two weeks. I think there's something going on but I honestly have no idea what it could be.

Cuddle Bug handled the transition of his classroom's student teacher leaving very well. At his IEP team meeting last week, they told me that he has been making big progress in his reading and mathematics. They think he is almost at grade level with his reading. There is a week of evaluation testing coming up next month. After that, they will have more concrete answers about where he stands academically. All of the testing will be done and considered just before the report cards come out in mid-November.

I wish that I had the software up on the computer to share the pictures we took of the boys' train ride yesterday. Beloved's parents paid for the kids and him to take a ride on the excursion train that ran yesterday from here in Lakeville up to Industry (a little town near Rochester) and back. The kids were so excited that they were skipping down the walk from our house to where they were loading passengers. We got lucky with the tickets. Apparently they sold out before we had got there (a half hour before the train was due to depart) but somehow my father in law managed to score enough tickets for Beloved and the boys.

Everyone had a really good time on the train trip. We got pictures of the train before it departed, as it was leaving, and when everyone was getting on board. Beloved was so busy with keeping the kids in their seats that he didn't get a chance to snap a picture of them on the train itself. I don't think, however, that it will be a problem. The boys have been very excited about it all and asking if they can do it again next year. If the excursion train is running next fall, we will definitely do it again. However, we will order our tickets in advance.

When I haven't been busy with stuff pertaining to school for the kids or my own health matters, I have been working on writing book four of my fantasy series. I self published book one a little while back. As I have been reviewing it, however, I realized that there are some parts that need a bit of polishing. So, I'm debating briefly pulling it off the market to revise those sections. The way I see it, the few copies that are floating around out there currently will be come collector's editions after I make my fame.

I am about to send book two off to beta readers. Book three is prepped for the first round of edits. I have now established a Facebook page for the series. (I just discovered that it is possible to buy used copies and I'm surprised because I hadn't received notification that any had been sold yet. I'm tempted to contact the seller and tell them that I'll sign it for them if they ship it to me to do so.)

Blogging for $$$

I started blogging here on Blogger back before Google acquired it. Of the different formats that I've encountered, I'm pretty comfortable here. To be honest, my first foray into blogging was on LiveJournal. I still have an account there but I haven't updated it in over a year. It is my hope to start slapping up book reviews on there (as that is the theme of that particular blog) after the chaos of NaNoWriMo and the holidays are passed. I've been working my way through the Harry Potter series and the Dark Tower series. I have some definite thoughts on both. (95% of those thoughts are positive, by the way).

When I heard that I could blog on Helium and on Triond for some sort of cash payment, I decided to start posting material up on there. Then my life got crazy and I wound up taking an extended break (not by choice) from those platforms and blogging in general. Helium was an interesting place and I'm still not sure if I liked it. I kinda found the platform unwieldy and awkward. I, however, am one of those people who are technically termed a 'user' by the computer industry. If it is not damn near idiot proof, I'm a person who has a good chance of having some difficulty with it. Not because I'm an idiot but because my interests and expertise lie in other areas.

Triond was a good site. I didn't make much money on there (nor on Helium) but I found the platform really user friendly. I posted a bunch of stuff and got the beginnings of a readership base. Then my forced break from blogging happened. Over the past few years, I've been trying to get back into writing on Triond. I started to see my readership go back up and I was becoming hopeful of actually getting a check from them. (On both Triond and Helium, you need a minimum of $50 to get a check.)

I suppose it started having problems back around early June. At first, I didn't think much of it. After all, if you're running a site as big as that, you're bound to have some difficulties cropping up from time to time. The glitchy software or servers (I honestly have no idea where the problem is) became big headaches for me over the course of July and early August. Then, sometime in the middle of August, Triond became terribly difficult to use. Not because they changed their platform but because of how badly the servers were lagging behind and that they were constantly timing out when I went to post anything.

By September, I found that I could barely get to the main page with out things crashing on me. At first, I thought perhaps the problem was my computer. So I turned to the computer whiz, my Beloved husband, and asked him what the error messages meant and if I had done something wrong. He explained to me that they were generic error messages indicating that something was wrong on Triond's end. I kept trying at regular intervals to use Triond to post things.

I had articles waiting for approval for over the course of the month. What was usually a two day turnaround time from post to publish turned into a full month in the case of two articles. It has me thinking that I need to wrestle with Triond to get my original content off there (because I foolishly did not have backups) and discontinue using it.

I don't know what I'm going to do next. I know that I will keep my blogs here on Blogger. The mirror blog of Veiled Witch over on Wordpress is going to stay. Heck, I'm even going to keep the LiveJournal account open. While I can't seem to get the blogs here on Blogger to work with Google's advertising widget, I'm not going to worry about that. It was never the point of these blogs.

Beloved and the PorchCat have both pointed out that I am good enough to get paid for my work. I keep trying to screw up the courage to follow the links that the PorchCat gave me but my social phobia gets in the way terribly. It makes me feel despondent to see that I can not even bring myself to just go out and freelance on the internet, where there will be no face to face contact. It is something that I will be working on with my therapist, obviously. Beloved is strongly encouraging me to get an agent to work with for my novels. Again, white hot terror shoots through me at the thought of engaging in that process.

Beloved is of the opinion that all I need to do is get angry enough at the situation and I will just sweep this obstacle aside. I kinda foolishly hoped that I could just blog on topics that I felt like writing about and make some money that way. Taking a step back and looking at things realistically, I have to admit, my blogging on stuff that I'm interested in hasn't done much for my readership here. It leaves me feeling like maybe I'm not terribly interesting after all. Beloved assures me that I am interesting, I just need to market myself.

All I know is that something has to change or my dream of being a professional author is just not going to happen. It makes me wish that there was a pill that made everything better. I'd feel less ashamed of the medication if it made all these damn things easier. All the drugs do is take the edge off of the mood swings and quiet the noise in my head. I know these are big things because they allow me to function.

It feels like I'm just not making progress and that I'm doomed to be struggling with these stupid fears. The fears are the glass wall between me and my destination. It's awful to have yourself as your own worst enemy.

October ranting.

It's been a while since I posted in here. I've been busy working on novels. (I finished one last week and started another. I'm up to book 4 in the series! w00t!) I've also been busy with the kid's school stuff. When I am not dealing with all of that, I have been working on my series of letters to Loki on Triond and the novel that is in progress there. (Honestly, given how much trouble Triond has become over the last few months, I think I'm going to withdraw my work and post it elsewhere, perhaps on here. I don't know.)

All of that said, I just have a few things I need to get off my proverbial chest. It's October and it means a lot of things to a lot of people. For some people, October is one of the best times of year because of football and bonfires. For others, they're excited for things like the fact that it is National American Cheese month or Bat Appreciation Month. And, let us not forget, Holloween is at the end of the month which I think 95% of the population of children in the country all anticipate with glee. Sugar rushes are always loved by the young 'uns.

I am, however, sick of seeing a few things. I get that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. I even get that they want to raise awareness and research funds. It's the 'pinkwashing' of everything that makes me furious. Lazy activism by way of purchasing the latest gadget with the trademarked pink ribbon on it makes me want to scream. A miniscule portion of the funds raised by those damned pink ribbon products actually goes to research. Most of it funds, get this, the product line and promotion of the products with that damned ribbon. If you want to do something about breast cancer, go donate directly to research funds. Make things for people who are afflicted, like hats to help the people who lost their hair due to chemotherapy stay warm. Get to know somebody with cancer and help them directly.

Aside from the commercialism aspect of the pinkwashing campaign, I hate how it presents this false image that breast cancer is the number one cancer killer. The top three killer cancers world wide are: lung, stomach, and liver cancer. Yes, breast cancer is towards the top of the list of lethal cancers (coming in at no.5 in the list) but if you go by all the advertisement and 'awareness' activities that you spot, you'd assume it was number one. By the way, the pinkwashing campaign has put breast cancer research funding at the top of the list followed by colorectal cancer.

I'm not saying that we should stop raising money for breast cancer research. I'm saying that all forms of cancer deserve as much attention as breast cancer. Imagine the strides that could be made if all forms of cancer were getting as much in funds as breast cancer. Further more, imagine the strides that would be made with out people skimming money off to fund their pink ribbon products. As someone who has lost a grandparent to cancer and had another one deal with it and survive, I may be taking this whole pinkwashing thing a bit harder then most people.

Long story short, the pinkwashing campaigns are disgusting for two reasons. First, it implants the false image that other cancers are less severe. This costs lives because people will be reluctant to get diagnosed for that lump they feel until it is too late. Secondly, too many people are lining their pockets with money that could be used to save lives. I recognize that medicine is an industry and that people are in it to make a buck. That doesn't change the fact that they have a responsibility due to the social contract made between them and their patrons to actively advocate and work to assist people with their health. It has been this way since antiquity. Allowing greed to get in the way of that is shameful and it makes me want to start an angry mob with pitchforks and torches.

And then there's this other little matter that has me madder then a hornet trapped under glass. I'm a pagan and I'm proud of it. Beloved and I are raising our children as pagans as well. We are doing our best to educate them to have a sense of wonder for the world and compassion for all life. We are also striving to encourage them to be respectful of the beliefs of others, regardless of the fact they disagree with us. All of these efforts, however, don't feel like they're enough when people are out there lampooning the pagan belief systems.

I get that people want to dress up as a witch for holloween because that is a character from folklore and has a role within our collective unconscious. Dress up is fun. But when someone takes the pagan belief systems and turns them into a marketing scheme, I get angry. Vikings or their descendants are not some prop to be slung up in a shop window to draw customers, for example. Holding them up as tawdry marketing ploys is as reprehensible as doing the same with people of African American descent or Native Americans. As much as people want to say that these kinds of things are 'harmless' they really are not.

There are people who practice the beliefs that are lampooned by those measures. They struggle to be treated as legitimate by the rest of the people around them. One may argue that they're not being denied their First Amendment rights but I would argue that creating a culture where one is mocked and reviled for not being part of the dominant religious sect is worse. Pagans in the western cultures face steep opposition. It ranges from regular harassment to outright violence to legislation that has been made to limit their ability to practice their religion.

Demeaning another person's religion because it isn't yours is disgusting. It also lays the groundwork for your religion to be demeaned by someone else. Freedom of religion means freedom for all religions. That freedom includes freedom to practice it with out harassment or punishment. And freedom from discrimination on the basis of religion. The plastic concept of 'witches' and other non-mainstream religious groups as something to be the butt of jokes, marketing ploys, and scorned because someone deems them 'evil' manifests differently everywhere in the USA. But it is still there, just as vicious and insidious as it always has been.

Sure, no one is burning witches at the stake today. I suppose this is an improvement, but there are states with laws on the books that make religious practices like divination illegal. There are laws on the books that state that someone who is not of a certain belief system can not hold public office. (Yes, these laws are real and have the threat of being enforced. Don't believe me, look up discrimination against atheists. A lot of those laws get applied against people who are not of the dominant religious belief system as well.)

Those laws and the attitudes that lead to their development are dangerous to a free republic. They are a short step away from punishing political dissidents and people who say things that you don't like. These are not fantasy scenarios. If you look into the rise of despotic states, you will find that persecution of people who are not of the approved social sect is amongst the first of a long string of events that lead to their development. Mockery and harassment of pagans tends to peak around holloween because of the cultural association of this time of year with 'dark' things and for some reason paganism has been deemed 'dark'. That has to stop.

Now, my rant about pagans being viewed in askance during this time of year doesn't just point at the non-pagans and the people who are quick to turn us into marketing ploys. I also am looking at you people in the pagan communities who seem to feel that the month of October is the time to crow loudest about your beliefs and treat it as though it is somehow the time of year that we must claim as our own. If you're pagan only one month of the year, you're as bad as the christians who are christian only for Advent and Easter seasons.

You're not pagan just in October and a shoe salesman (or whatever else you are) the rest of the year. If you're a pagan, you are a pagan 365 days a year. You live your religion. You incorporate your religious practices into your life and have them present at all times. They inform and color your actions. As trite as it may be, to quote the christian Bible "by their fruits, ye shall know them."

If you're one of those cockamamie pagans who only do it in October because that's when it feels right, go away. Your behavior is part of the problem. Flooding social media with 'witchy' things and black cats in October is not being pagan. It's being a living, breathing version of that plastic image they sell you. Knock it off and be yourself, for gods' sake. I know you're more then that. And if you think that plastic image is all that there is to you, then, for the love of everything holy, get some help. Because that's not healthy.

You want to celebrate your paganism. Go ahead and do it, but do it all year long. Sure, it's great to celebrate your way of life. I think the gods want us to be happy and celebrate living because living is a glorious thing (for the most part). Putting it on and taking it off like some kind of mass produced flimsy costume off the discount rack of Walmart is not only disrespectful to the religions you claim to practice but to yourself. If you can't bring yourself to respect the religions, then stop it for the sake of your self respect. Because the person you are in the deepest depths is not some vain weathercock that whirls around after the latest fashions unless you are sick and have no center of being.

There's my two rants. Or is it three? I can't tell. I almost made it four, but I'll save my griping about Triond for another time.

Behold, I arise!

I've got nothing epic to follow that subject line. I feel that I owe you, my constant readers (all 2 of you) something of an apology. I intended to post more over the last few weeks but I have been sucked into the world of my fantasy series. I am 3/4 of the way finished with book three. I'm not entirely thrilled with how it is working up right now, but I am viewing this as preparation for writing book four.

I will be participating in NaNoWriMo this year and I will be pushing myself to do NaBloPoMo as well. If nothing else, to get into the habit of posting on here more frequently then once every fortnight. I may have mentioned that school started recently. We just had picture day today. I feel a little bit bad that the kids were really in need of haircuts but life happens. Anyways, the pictures will reflect a bit more accurately what the kids look like most of the time.

Cuddle Bear has been swimming in gym class for the last few weeks. He went from scared of being in the pool to being really excited for it. Snuggle Bug seems to have transitioned well to kindergarten. We're actually making some progress on the potty training front since the transition. Perhaps we don't need to be quite so anxious about that matter. On the whole, the boys seem to be enjoying school and having a good time of it all. It relieves me, as I was concerned that there was going to be some difficulty in the beginning.

I am making progress on my Yule crafting. I finished a giant snowflake/shawl for one of my nieces. I am approximately a third of the way through the Lady of the Woods shawl that I have been knitting since August. I am also just about half finished with a basic triangular shawl that I'm knitting. I have begun a crochet shawl to use up the odd balls of yarn that I have kicking around in the project room. It is going to look funky but I don't think that will be a problem.

I'm trying to decide what to do about Etsy. I technically still have a page up there. I could be selling stuff. I just have no clue where to begin with marketing myself. The thought of it makes me feel a little sick with anxiety. It's been rough trying to work up the nerve to start pounding the proverbial pavement with respect to my writing. One of the paid blogging sites that I was on closed up shop last month. I had a total of $20 on there but it was under the minimum amount to get a check from them. The other paid blogging site has been having lots of problems over the last few weeks. I keep getting a lot of 500 errors when I try to post stuff. It make me concerned that I can't keep working with them. I have a lot of material up there. I would be upset if it were to all suddenly vanish on me. I don't have copies of all of it right now. And with the servers being wonky it is hard for me to copy things to word documents on my computer.

Ominous news is ominous.

So, Ebola is in Sierra Leone. We kinda knew it was in the hinterlands of the country. It is moving into the cities. One may wonder why I, half a world a way and living in the country, am deeply concerned by this development. Ebola is a disease that I have been following for several years now. It started out as a curiosity. I confess, I am curious about plagues and the like, both in the sense of their epidemiology and their influence upon cultures. Two of my favorite books is A Journal of the Plague Year and the diary of Samuel Pepys. (If you're wondering what to buy me for my birthday or Yule, this is an excellent start of the list of books I would love to own. Perhaps I'll post that in the near future.) Another of my favorites is On the Beach, for reasons that I will tie back to plagues in a moment.

Plagues can shape humanity more surely then warfare, in my opinion. The Black Death wiped out a considerable portion of Europe's population, which laid the foundational groundwork for the destabilization of the feudal system and the eventual rise of modern Western society. The Spanish Flu was part of the factors that gave rise to what we understand now of vaccination and modern hygienic practices with respect to highly virulent pathogens. While we don't consciously think about the influence these diseases had upon history, we live with the effects daily.

With the extraordinary way diseases can spread between continents due to modern modes of travel (I'm looking right at you, air transportation.), we must now consider the threat of world wide outbreaks of diseases that were once limited to a specific geographic region. We must consider that with the larger populations subjected to the diseases in question, the disease mutates in a faster period of time then it would have in the past. Ebola is a horrific disease. It has a 50% mortality rate. While the time frame for transmission is not as long as it is for influenza, with the rise of much more rapid modes of transportation, it has the opportunity to infect a larger population and mutate faster then it would have in the smaller populations of the locales where it originated.

Now, one may ask, where that post-apocalyptic story of On the Beach fits into this picture. Consider, if you will, a world wide plague that is marching towards where you live. It is only a matter of time until it reaches you and your family. Said plague is highly likely to kill your family and yourself. How do you face the onset of illness? How do you face the potential of the death of yourself and your loved ones? On the Beach describes how the author envisioned people dealing with their own plague like event. It would seem that the author advocates one taking their life in this scenario rather then waiting for death.

I question, with the mutation of Ebola that will come with the rise of the population base of the infected, what risk is there of it becoming airborne and making transmission terrifyingly fast. Sierra Leone is on the precipice of utter chaos. Panic is rising and if containment efforts fail, as I fear they will, Sierra Leone will descend into a level of chaos that I suspect will rival Somalia at its worst.

How does this prospect have any influence over myself, one might ask?  Simple, a person can hop a plane and fly anywhere in the world. Illicit carriers will risk insane dangers if the coin paid is high enough. An infected person who is still in the latent phase could be smuggled into somewhere that the restrictions upon travel are more lax. They could, in turn, infect others who then spread the disease to an unknown number of people before it registers in the medical community of the region that this disease is present. Right now, Ebola is a disease with a very short window for transmission.

Mutations can occur that change the vectors of transmission. They can also change how long the incubation period of a viral strain is. Those two facts are what puts the proverbial fear of god into me on this disease. As the population infected rises, the number of times the disease moves from carrier to carrier increases. With each transmission of the disease, it has the prospect of mutating because DNA can not copy exactly the same 100% of the time. Large population bases of infected means the number of times the virus can mutate has increased exponentially, because the number of times the virus reproduces itself has increased by such a factor.

It is my firm belief that it is merely a matter of time until this disease develops into something even more monstrous then it is now. (I hold the same belief with diseases such as HIV as well.) So, I see the news that Ebola has moved into larger populations and I become concerned. It is very frustrating to have nothing I can actively do to prevent this disease from potentially reaching where I live. While I could live in fear, as some people in the story On the Beach did waiting for their own doomsday event, I choose not to. I conduct myself as though Ebola is not a threat to myself and my own because there is no reasonable evidence that it can reach us at this time.

I keep the words of Marcus Aurelius in mind.

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

And

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.

As I progress forward in life, no matter how horrific the potential events seem, I choose to continue on as though there is a future. To do otherwise, is in my opinion, perhaps the ultimate form of cowardice.

How I wish I had a garden!

From Here

I have been feeling the strongest urge to be canning and preserving food for the last few weeks. I know some of this is due to the fact that just about everything is ripe now. Some of this also comes out of the fact that for a significant portion of my youth, the end of August was the time of year that Mom and Grandma were busy canning things from the garden.

As much as I would love to stop at the Farmer's Market in Geneseo tomorrow, I really can't afford to go splurge on lots of veggies to attempt to can. Two reasons for that: a.) I don't know how to can, b.) we're a bit broke right now.

My poor flowerbed is nothing but weeds right now. I keep meaning to get out there and pull them. Then I encounter the mosquitoes of DOOM. Honestly, I am surprised they haven't manged to carry children away like some b-rated horror flick from the 1960s. The landlord is reluctant to do anything along the lines of spraying for them because the neighbor's kids basically get into everything and they're not sure if the kids would stay out of where they sprayed. The mosquitoes weren't too bad most of the season. It's been over the last few weeks that they have gotten really bad. I'm at a loss to figure out why they've suddenly become so persistent and prolific. As far as I know, there hasn't been much in the way of standing water for them to breed in.

The kids have gotten to the point where they're asking about when school is going to start. I think they're sick of vacation now. As of tomorrow, we have one week until the start of school. I'm feeling optimistic that we're going to make it. I still need to pick up some school supplies but the list is not gargantuan. I'm not entirely sure what we'll be doing as for lunches the first few days of school. I am considering packing them lunches but I worry that Snuggle Bug won't remember to bring his lunch bag home. It is something that I am probably thinking too much about right now.

Another Tuesday, DONE!

Today was exhausting. I think part of it was the heat. We had recently been experiencing cool weather so when the temperatures jumped back up to what they usually are, it felt oppressive. I honestly am dreading when the more humid weather moves in over the next few days. I am anticipating the kids being extra whiny over the least thing.

The morning was fairly calm. I will admit it, I did go so far as to put on Fireman Sam videos so that the kids would leave me alone for a little while. I was having some difficulty waking up this morning. It didn't help very much that Snuggle Bug was up early today. Somehow, I went from awake and blearily watching the kids watch videos on Youtube to asleep on the couch. When I woke up, they were still sitting there watching Fireman Sam. The only difference was that they had acquired firetrucks to hold in their laps while they were sitting there.

We spent a good portion of the afternoon at Vitale Park, just down the road from us. Cuddle Bear made a new friend at the park. He had lots of fun playing with a little girl named Shelby. Apparently she goes to school at Livonia as well, so Cuddle Bear may be seeing her at school too. Cuddle Bear attempted to climb trees with the older children. This resulted in him hanging off of the lower branches, with the older kids trying to help him at times.

Snuggle Bug was having fun walking up to random children and talking to them. He spent a good deal of time at the sandbox and chatted up a few parents as well. The boys were pretty good about things when it was time to head home. As per what has become the norm, we had to stop to visit with the staff at Smith Lumber before we went home. I have to say, the folks there are really awesome about it. If they're not busy, they chat with the boys a bit and almost always have lollipops for the kids. They get a big kick out of watching the boys talk to and about the weed wackers that are on display right now. (Honestly, if you're local and considering where to go for your hardware needs, these guys are great. Their customer service is awesome and they're really helpful. Also, if they don't have it in stock, they will find it for you or find who has it.)

Dinner tonight, I had expected, was not going to be a big deal. The boys hadn't seemed very hungry. Apparently, they have decided that they love the Lasagna Hamburger Helper. Cuddle Bear asked me to save his leftovers so he could have them for lunch tomorrow, and this was after he had one and a half plates worth of it. Snuggle Bug seemed to really enjoy it too. I guess I am going to add that to my list of weekday meals for the kids.

In going through my pantry to select what I was going to make tonight, I discovered that I had a jar of pickled beets. I will shamelessly admit, I was snacking on pickled beets as I was cooking dinner. I forgot how much I have come to enjoy them until I had a few. Then I had to put the jar away so that I didn't eat that instead of dinner. I am seriously thinking about getting a few beets and making lacto-fermented  pickles with 'em. I have been looking at some interesting sauerkraut recipes and found a few that actually included beets. I think that I will be picking up cabbage and beets on my next grocery run.

Getting ready for Spinning!

From Here

This weekend, I go to the spinning guild meeting with my MiL. I will be bringing some fiber I dyed, two pairs of socks I made, and a shawl that I made. I'm probably going to wear one of my knitted kerchiefs because I expect it to still be cool tomorrow. I'm torn between the one made from my MiL's handspun and the one that is made from my handspun plyed with commercial cotton. The deciding factor on that one is what the weather report is supposed to be like for tomorrow.

I will probably bring a new spinning project with me. I wound the alpaca off my zebra wood bottom whorl spindle onto my niddy-noddy. Considering the stuff, I don't think I am going to ply it with anything. Instead, I will just wet it and set the twist. After that I'll wind the hank into a ball and then knit something with it. I'm thinking about trying my hand out on a lace sampler that is also a scarf. My knitting book has several simple lace patterns that I think I can do.

I have a lot of silk waiting to be spun. While I am making yards upon yards with the light weight turkish spindle I fashioned, I think I'm going to switch to using one of my larger spindles so that I can use up the fiber faster. I don't know what I am going to do with that ball of ultra fine thread. It is literally a few hairs in thickness. I may knit up something with it. Or I might crochet something, either way, I am going to make something with this terribly fine weight stuff.

I am a bit stalled on the Lady of the Forest shawl right now. I am a third of the way through making the back. I confess, I am a bit bored with the project. I feel, however, that I have enough work into it now that I am committed to it. I don't know if this camo colorway was such a good idea. The way the color pooling is working up in this yarn is not exactly appealing to me. I hope that Ms. Presson's choice of yarn is a bit lighter in shade then what I am working on.

I have been compiling a list of projects that I must complete by Yule. Among my list are things like:

• Blanket for Bridget
• Messenger bag for Alexis
• Doll for Sadie
• Slippers for Snuggle Bug (he out grew the ones I made for him last year.)
• Dolphin for Kendall
• Slippers for myself

I am at a loss for what to do for Beloved and my tenth wedding anniversary. I have been struggling with some kind of idea for months now and I just can't think of anything. I want to do something special but I keep drawing a blank. I need to ask around to see if anyone would be available to watch the boys for us on the Saturday following this way Beloved and I can do something like go out to lunch.

Brain fried before Noon.

I have been just exhausted the last few days. It hasn't been because of a whole ton of work; though I have been getting a lot done. Mainly, I'm still in the adjustment phase of a new medication regime. Despite feeling so awfully tired, I am feeling much more like myself. I think, once I have adjusted, I will be doing a great deal better.

I sat down yesterday and made my shopping list for school supplies. Honestly, I feel a bit silly writing down 16 glue sticks but then I recall that we did use a lot of glue when I was in school as a kid. Some of this stuff, I know I'll be able to pick up at the dollar store. Things like composition notebooks and folders are going to be relatively cheap. I even think I'll be able to score some pencils for dirt cheap as well. I'll have to sharpen them myself, but that is what a pencil sharpener is for.

The gifts of clothing has made a significant dent in what we will need to buy the boys for school. Poor little Cuddle Bear wore a hole clean through his shoes and I didn't realize it until Tuesday. To say the least, when I ran out to the store to pick up a few things, I grabbed him a new pair of shoes. He was thrilled to start wearing them yesterday. I think the thing he was most pleased with was the fact that they were in the same colors as Batman. Snuggle Bug's shoes are just about worn out too. I think I will be getting him new shoes next week. If I'm lucky, I may be able to find some that are similar to Cuddle Bear's but colored like Superman's theme.

I have begun the process of looking through what all I have made thus far to determine what I have left to work on for Yule. I have to say, I am pleased with how the two bottles of vanilla perfume came out. I still have a lot of vanilla scented vodka that I think I will be packaging up into a pretty bottle and giving as a gift. I have started infusing some lavender into the last of the vodka. I am not entirely sure what I will do with it when it is finished. Perhaps I will use it as the base of another perfume.

I am feeling the powerful urge to start preserving food. Unfortunately, I don't have any gardening done so I have no produce to put by. I may, however, pick up a bag of strawberries and make some freezer jam. I may also pick up some fresh veggies at the Farmer's Market next week to make some homemade pickles. My last attempt came out poorly. I have a new recipe to try. It seems to be well suited to small batches. I am optimistic that this will work out better this time.

G'bye Monday!

Today was a long day. I had a lot of things I wanted to get done but I didn't quite accomplish it. Now I'm here torn between my better judgment telling me I should be getting ready for bed and the desire to be up and getting things done. If nothing else, I can make a quick post here and update on how the party went yesterday.

It was, in short, a success. The boys had tons of fun with their cousins (though not all of them were able to be there). The adults had a good time visiting with each other. The food was plentiful and easy to clean up after. All that Beloved's parents had to do was smile and watch the children play.

I think, however, that the next birthday party I plan, I'm going to let other people help more. My nerves were pretty well shot by the end of the day. I was honestly glad when Beloved was managing the kids when we got home. I was able to have a little 'me time' and do some reading. It helped me de-stress from things considerably.

You may be wondering what I am reading these days. It's been a while since I updated my reading blog. It's not that I haven't read anything since January. It is more like I haven't been writing about what I have been reading. I am going to rectify that by writing little blurbs about books as I finish them. In the course of my travels tomorrow, I am going to write a little something about the two Harry Dresden books I finished in the last week. I've been juggling three different book series right now and reading random stuff on the side.

I have been reading the Dark Tower series, Harry Potter, and the Dresden Files books. When I'm not reading that stuff, I've been reading religious oriented texts, stuff about parenting autistic children, and being a homemaker. The last two subjects have been proving rather... disappointing. I'm finding that there is better material on the blogs I follow compared to the books I have been getting out via the library.

Cheesecake ice cream!

I generally enjoy the stuff from Ben & Jerry's and I usually grab their Chocolate Therapy when I'm in a bit of a funk. Today, the grocery store was out of Chocolate Therapy, so I picked up their Cheesecake Brownie variety. Holy cats! I didn't know ice cream could be *this* good. It is almost better then the Talenti stuff. It's like having cheesecake but with the creamy consistency of ice cream. I love cheesecake. I think the only way this could be better is if it had strawberries on it.

I shared a spoonful with Beloved, who then did what the kids do when they like something: opened his mouth up for more. I giggled and rewarded his silliness with another spoonful. He said something a few minutes ago about how the ice cream wasn't going to last long. I think I need to buy him his own pint so that he doesn't eat mine on me. I just accepted destiny and handed him the pint. He's been busy minding the kids all day, he really deserves a reward for handling several meltdowns in a row this evening.

When I did my grocery shopping, I picked up food for the party tomorrow. I also picked up the cupcakes. They looked pretty good, though I suspect that the cupcakes with the orange frosting would fluoresce under a black light. I am a bit concerned that I bought too much food. No one really got back a hold of me as to if they were coming or not. I decided to err on the side of caution and purchased like everyone is coming.

My household: 4
In laws: 2
Sis in law: 1
Bro in law's family: 6 (or 4 depending on if they have all 4 girls this weekend)
Friend's family: 4
Niece & one: 2
Other Sis in law's family: 5

I know now that my niece and my other sis in law won't be making it. So instead of having a total of 20 people, we're looking at something closer to 15 people. I planned for 20 in my shopping. What we don't eat at the party, I think, will keep reasonably well for us to have during the week. I bought enough cupcakes so that people can have two if they want them. The cupcakes from the store were a bit smaller then what I would have made here at home, so I went with a double batch from the store.

I still need to package presents. I thought about getting a shower before I head to bed tonight. Honestly, however, I'm just so worn out that the idea of going through the effort makes me tired. 

28 Days and Counting

Twenty eight days from today, school starts. Like my friend Lily, I am counting down the days. We have one more week of pre-school before a break of two weeks. Honestly, I can't foresee Snuggle Bug potty training in that time frame. I may be wrong. He may surprise me. I am not going to hang any great expectations on this, however.

Next week, we have the boys' birthday party on Sunday. I have things situated so that all that we really need to do now is pick up food. I don't know why I am getting this terrible feeling of dread about it all right now. It could be partly due to the fact that I have been struggling with depression for a little while now and it makes everything look significantly more grim than it really is. It could also be the fact that I am just not comfortable with parties.

I think it is partly a function of my social phobia. And I think it is partly a function of the fact that I am an introvert. Beloved is also an introvert. The boys, however, are more of a pair of extroverts then we are. Especially Snuggle Bug, who decided to walk into somebody's house while we were visiting his friends and say hi. At least the boy knocked first and listened when the gal living there said they were busy and he couldn't visit.

It is less then a month away from Beloved and my 10 year wedding anniversary. I feel terrible to say that I have no ideas what to do for him to make the day special. It falls in the middle of the work week. It is also the day that school starts up for Snuggle Bug (who, if I recall it rightly, has a half day that day). We're not exactly flush with cash right now. I don't think we're going to be able to really do anything until the weekend and even then I don't honestly know what we could do.

We might get lucky and someone will be able to watch the boys for us so that we can go out to dinner. It seems, however, that babysitting time is harder to come by right now. My emo-tastic brain tells me that it is because the boys (namely Snuggle Bug) are difficult to manage for a length of time and that people only want to deal with the kids in small doses. I think it is more likely that people are busy and simply don't have the time. And, in all honesty, the boys are a handful.

Depression does funny things to how you perceive things and usually it makes you see the worst about a situation, at best. I've been trying not to let my mental health woes color this blog but that has resulted in my avoiding posting in here. I've decided to throw caution to the wind, to some extent, and let myself post on here even when I am not feeling up to it. Not everyday is happy and perfect and it is better that this blog reflects reality rather then some inflated image.

I started this blog post with the goal of talking about the planning for this birthday party. I'm most of the way there on getting things situated. The theme of the party is superheros. I thought briefly about getting stuff with a superhero theme, like a banner or a table cloth or something. Then I saw the cost of it and concluded that I couldn't pay for something that was 4 times the cost of what I could spend on plain items when the kids weren't really going to get all excited over it. It'd be one thing if we were going with a theme like firefighters, which the boys both get really excited about it.

Superheros are something that the boys sort of like but their cousins would be more inclined to get into the fun on it. If the boys are still hot on the concept of firefighters (see what I did right there?) in a few years, then perhaps we'll do a firefighter themed party for them. If we save our pennies, we could possibly manage to hold the party at the training grounds up the road and have the firefighters show off one of their trucks.

The menu is really simple. We're having hot dogs, two different kinds of salad, chips, pretzels, and soda. For dessert, we're having cupcakes. I was going to have them do all Spiderman, Batman, or Iron Man for the cupcakes but they didn't have enough of those plastic rings to go with it all. As a result, we are going to have half the cupcakes with Batman rings and half the cupcakes with Ninja Turtles rings. Again, I don't think the kids are going to care terribly much.

The boys are getting a few different toys from us. I got them each a Transformer robot that is about 8 in tall with fixed limbs. I also located for them monster truck versions of a garbage truck (for Cuddle Bear) and an ambulance (for Snuggle Bug). I purchased a bike helmet for Snuggle Bug. When I am getting groceries tomorrow, I will be getting a bell for the bike that Cuddle Bear will be getting from his grandparents. I was thinking a bell was a better option then a horn. Cuddle Bear does not like loud noises and bike horns are generally pretty loud.

I am not doing stuff like streamers or fancy tablecloths or anything. I looked at the cost of that stuff and decided that I just couldn't justify it out of the budget. Next year is an 'off' year for birthday parties. If I save things up over next year and the summer after, I should have enough put by for the kids to have a themed birthday party that they'll be more likely to remember. Then, if they're still into firefighters, we can do a firetruck themed cake and stuff. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to swing getting fire helmets for the kids and stuff.

In the meantime, I need to start planning for back to school stuff. The school supply lists arrived in the mail this week. I think we'll be picking up what is needed week after next. Then we can do all of the shopping at once. I know that we'll need to get the boys new shoes, socks, and underwear. I'm pretty sure that Cuddle Bear is going to need some new pants too. The ones he has are starting to get a bit small in the leg. I figure if I buy them a bit long in the leg, I can hem them and let the hems out as he grows.

It looks like Snuggle Bug's backpack from Headstart is still solid enough to stand up to kindergarten. Cuddle Bear's backpack from last year, however, is not so fortunate. This time, we will be getting him a larger backpack. The one he had last year was a touch too small for what he needed. I'm going to have the kids packing lunch as often as we can manage, though we are applying to see if we qualify for reduced lunch again this year. I already have a bag for each of the kids.

While I like the idea of bento boxes, I recognize that I may not have the stamina for whipping up fancy bento lunches on a regular basis. I think, however, with some planning and preparation, I can have some plain bento lunches for them to bring regularly. Speaking of bento boxes, I really hope that Beloved can find his lunch box at work so I can clean it up and stuff. My thought is while I am cooking up dinner in the evening, I will just make their lunches and put them in the fridge.

If I can streamline my work, then maybe, just maybe, I can pack lunches more often then it would be necessary for the kids to buy. And if I do it right, it won't be terribly, terribly expensive either. If you follow my pinterest boards, you may find me posting more things about bento lunches in the not so distant future. Don't be surprised if themes around different foods arise. Cuddle Bear's favorite lunch is pizza sandwiches and Snuggle Bug loves his peanut butter and jelly. Since I haven't gotten a notice home saying that peanut butter anything is not allowed at school, I'm going to assume that it is safe to send him in with those.

I remember seeing something about freezing sandwiches after you made them ahead to make them last longer during the week. Perhaps I will give that a try too. Who knows. I think I've run out of things to say. I guess I'll end this post before I blather on about something that is complete nonsense.

Open Letter to Mr. Steve Finnell

On a few different occasions, Mr. Finnell has responded to my posts with an eager effort to promote his faith. I am not opposed to such things, however, I did not publish his replies due to the fact they were entirely tangential (at best) to the subject matter of my posts. Out of respect for Mr. Finnell's apparently earnest desire for dialogue, I am taking the time to direct a post to him. I ask that Mr. Finnell, upon reading this post, please do me the kindness of responding in the comments.

His desire for discussion upon this topic seems sincere but he seems hesitant to engage it upon my other blogs. Thus, I am breaking from my usual posting habits to touch upon this subject in this blog as a gesture of kindness and respect for his apparent discomfort to approach me elsewhere. I welcome others who would wish to join this discussion to do so in the comments as well. While this is my blog, I recognize that I am part of a larger community and that this is the digital equivalent of sitting on the front porch and talking with the neighbors.

All I ask, and I state this only for the sake of clarity, is that the discussion be conducted in a respectful tone. I give my most solemn word that I will treat all comers to this discussion with hospitality and kindness. However, if someone chooses to be offensive in their treatment of myself or others who are engaged in this discussion, I will not post their reply. I know that common courtesy is something of a rarity on the internet and it saddens me that I felt it necessary to make the aforementioned statement. That, however, is something for a different post.

In his most recent reply to one of my posts, Mr. Finnell posted the following:

IS GOD'S GRACE IRRESISTIBLE? BY STEVE FINNELL The doctrine of irresistible grace, that was promoted by John Calvin, teaches that God's grace is applied only to those to whom He has determined to save, overcoming their resistance to obeying the call of the gospel, imputing them with faith in Christ so that they might become saved. God's grace is available to all who hear the gospel. Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. God's grace is available to all men, however, most men reject the salvation offered by God. Men have a choice, grace is not irresistible. Matthew 7:13-14 "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Men can and do resist the Holy Spirit. Acts 7:51 "You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy

I realize that one might feel somewhat constrained by the format of posting replies here on Blogger. I question, however, why Mr. Finnell felt it necessary to post his reply with such dense text. A few line breaks would have made it much easier to read. I ask that in future posting, that Mr. Finnell use line breaks to delineate the difference between the Bible passages he is quoting and his personal sentiments. The format that he has used thus far is very difficult to read, from a technical standpoint. It fatigues the eye and makes it confusing.

Also, ending with a dangling participle is simply bad form, Mr. Finnell. Please, refrain from doing so. If one must end a statement before completing a quote, it is accepted practice to use an ellipsis. If you are not familiar with an ellipsis, it is formed thusly: [...]. I recognize that my arguments thus far are fare more ... peevish and narrow then what one might expect at the outset of this discussion. I confess, I have times where I have played fast and loose with the rules of written communication myself.

It seems, however, that more casual attention to written communication denotes more casual concern with the subject matter. If I am not mistaken, Mr. Finnell, you consider the subject you are attempting to engage me in to be one of great importance. Additionally, it seems to me that the holy book which you are referencing would be one that you hold in high regard and would expend the extra effort to make sure that you are clearly expressing your quotations with the level of gravitas that is merited by the subject matter and source material.

Please, Mr. Finnell, in your responses to me upon this subject, take the time to make your responses easily readable. It makes it not only easier for me to understand what you are communicating but makes me more inclined to engage you upon the subject. I prefer to discuss topics of religion with individuals who are educated to a moderate extent because I come away from the conversation having learned something. It is my hope that this discussion will prove profitable to both of us and the only way that we can begin to approach this is with a clearly defined framework for communication.

Now, I express some disappointment, Mr. Finnell, that you did not identify which version of the Bible you are referencing here. There are subtle but meaningful differences in the language used in the different versions of the Bible that are on the market. I did take a moment to review a few posts on your blog. It seems that you are using the New King James Version. I do now own this version, however, I have an Authorized King James Version. I hope that the differences in the material are not so great as to hinder discussion. I ask, however, that in the future, when you are using quotations, that you note which version of the Bible you are using. I do not know if you, like myself, own multiple versions of this holy book. I would like to be able to reference the same material as you are so that I might be able to understand the quotation in its full context.

I find it curious that you open your post with a declaration. I can not tell if this declaration is from yourself or the esteemed John Calvin. (John Calvin was a very wise man who did a great deal of work to encourage the Protestant reformation and I respect his efforts highly. I would assume from your referencing of him that you are of the Calvinist denomination. If I am incorrect in this assumption, please be so kind as to share what denomination you follow. I am most curious, however, I digress. You open with the following declaration:

The doctrine of irresistible grace, that was promoted by John Calvin, teaches that God's grace is applied only to those to whom He has determined to save, overcoming their resistance to obeying the call of the gospel, imputing them with faith in Christ so that they might become saved. God's grace is available to all who hear the gospel.

If irresistible grace is applied to those whom your God has decided to save, would it not happen that I would be aware of this grace? Would it not have refashioned my beliefs or otherwise reshaped the structure of my life whereby accepting the 'call of the gospel' becomes the only logical path in my life? Additionally, Mr. Finnell, what exactly would your God be saving me from?

It is the belief of your sect that all of humanity is depraved and incapable of ethical behavior with out the intervention of your God. I question how it is that you feel so empowered to make such judgments about myself. Does not the very Bible you have quoted admonish believers to remember that such judgments are the purview of God alone? The sermon upon the Mount of Olives is a very clear lesson upon this matter. It would be the very height of hubris to make such judgments and act upon them.

Your aggressive insistence that I pay court to your efforts to proselytize to me would lead me to infer that you believe that I am amongst the worst wicked and that my salvation must be accomplished by way of your efforts in addition to those of your God. For, indeed, such aggressive efforts to persuade me away from my path bespeaks a lack of faith that your God is sufficient to change my heart upon his own efforts. Is your God omnipotent or not? If your God is omnipotent, then you have no work to do.

Indeed, if your God is omnipotent and desires me to change my ways, he would know the best way to persuade me. It would happen in a manner that I would have no choice but either accept or reject because I would see quite clearly the logical choice in the matter. There would be no fuzzy arguments about ethics, the qualities of God, or what humanity's proper relationship with God, itself, and the world should be.

Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. God's grace is available to all men, however, most men reject the salvation offered by God. Men have a choice, grace is not irresistible.

The quote above leads me to question, Mr. Finnell, if humanity has a choice to reject your God, what power does your God have? How exactly can your God save me if his will is undone by a person merely saying 'no'? I have been beset by great harm and difficulty in my 35 years upon Earth. In those times of difficulty, why did your God not stretch forth his hand and shelter me from the evil that was visited upon me? It would have won him a steadfast and unshakeable convert, I assure you. Yet, your God did no such thing, for myself or many others whom have been or are currently in such a position.

Why does your God rely upon such weak vessels as human action if he truly seeks to save the world? Could it be that those of us who have not been favored by such a kindly glance from your God are not amongst the chosen? I ask, could it be that I was destined for my heathen ways? And, if this was the case, would it not be arrogance and foolishness to attempt to persuade me to take a different path? Would this not be another manifestation of a failure to have complete faith in your God, whom your faith teaches is omnipresent, omnipotent, and all knowing?

Indeed, Mr. Finnell, is it not possible that I, a mere housewife, am placed here to serve as a mirror whereby you might examine your own faith and your efforts to convert me are you moving against the plan of your God? For, if your God has shaped all things and knows the hearts of all humanity, then I am precisely as your God has formed me and I fulfill the role that he has placed me in simply as I am. All life experiences and genetic programming that has lead me to this precise moment in time happened in accordance with your God's will, according to most Christian thought, and I am as I should be with out any action upon your part. It would be a dangerous act of will for one to oppose an omnipotent, omnipresent, all knowing being.

You would have my believe that your presence, as persistent as it is, is a manifestation of that super abundant grace and that your efforts to convert me are endorsed by this. I question, is it your God's will that you are engaged in or your own? You would be quick to declare me amongst the proud and wicked, Mr. Finnell, but what evidence have you that I am so? How is a peaceable person who deals fairly with others and abides by the laws of the land amongst the wicked? How is a person who is more concerned with the good of others then that of themselves amongst the wicked?

I practice my faith quietly. I do good work in my community where I can. I am raising my boys to be good men who respect and honor other people. I do not harm others. I even work to be ecologically sound in my work around the house and in my purchasing efforts, thereby acting as a good steward of the land for the generations that follow me. Please, I ask you, show me what evil these actions have caused? How does this place me amongst the people who are in need of salvation?

Furthermore, what exactly would I be being saved from? What of the people who died unaware of the gospel, Mr. Finnell? The unbaptized and ignorant of your faith, are they condemned as well by their accident of birth? Ah, wait, I forget, Mr. Finnell, a central tenet of your sect of Christianity is that all of humanity is depraved. Thus the infant child is somehow equally as much of an affront to the eyes of your God as he who murders and commits acts of rape. Explain to me, please Mr. Finnell, how that works. The infant child is not yet capable of moral reasoning. They act out of ignorance, in their limited capacity for action, and are not yet experienced enough to conceptualize abstract concepts like malice. The murderer has their faculties and the ability to act as a moral agent. They can consciously choose how to proceed and engage in actions deliberately, even when they choose not to consider those actions fully.

You would have me embrace your faith on the basis of a few quotes. Within those quotes are a thinly veiled threat of punishment if I do not make the 'right' choice and an insult against my person. If such tactics were undertaken at any other juncture, what ever decision I made would be under duress and not of my own free will, if I had felt sufficiently threatened by the threat of punishment. If I were to choose conversion under those circumstances, I did not choose it of my own free will but to avoid punishment. As such, by being forced into such a choice, I didn't make a choice but rather complied with those who were forcing me into the situation out of a sense of self preservation, much like a man who is being robbed at gunpoint would hand over his wallet rather then being shot. The man does not know if the gun is loaded and is forced to operate on the assumption that it is and complies for the sake of his well being.

You, Mr. Finnell, have placed me in this position. Your God seeks a conversion via free will. Your efforts, however, have placed me in a position where said conversion would not be of my free will. Thus, you are undermining God and engaging in a dangerous game, sir. And all of this is with out any consideration for the question of the existence of other Gods and the possible role they play in this scenario.

I ask you, sir, why do you threaten as part of your efforts to convert? The gospel is supposed to be about good news (as that is the root of the term gospel even) and making the world aware of God's love of humanity. One does not persuade a person with threats. That is terrorizing them. Indeed, one could argue that it is psychological and emotional blackmail to do so. I am made of sterner stuff and do not take kindly to such efforts. I will, however, overlook your thinly veiled threats if you would engaged me by way of reason. Persuade me, Mr. Finnell. Tell me what good your God has done for you and the world. Explain to me why your God would permit the evils that happened to me and turned a deaf ear when I appealed for aid.

It was not your God that delivered me from evil, by the way. It was my Gods that helped me to endure it and defend myself from it when it came again in my life. I place low value upon a 'savior' who refuses to rescue a child from a dangerous situation.