Now the doctor changed two thing here. First was what time I take one of my medications and the second was the dosage of said medication. I'm sitting here feeling completely spaced out and exhausted. This is some of the side effects of the medication. I am having difficulty concentrating because of how spaced out I am feeling.
Mood wise, I think things are improving. I noticed that my passive self-harm ideation that has been with me for forever is gone. I keep waiting to consciously tell myself that I can't do XYZ because it's not good for me, but it's not happening. It feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm sure I'll get used to it. The negative self talk has gone down significantly.
Sleep is a mixed bag. The new medication to help me fall asleep is not working quite as expected. But the higher dosage of melatonin is helpful. Things are still getting tweaked and sorted out. At least the horrific nightmares have stopped. They ranged from being buried in live insects (I am utterly repulsed by the sensation of insects walking on my skin.) to dreaming of rodents chewing my fingertips off. I woke up a few times last night, but, as I said, we're still getting this sorted out. My dreams last night were boringly mundane like of washing an endless pile of dishes or sorting a billion kid socks.
Progress is happening. I had thought that I'd bounce back from this med change in a few days. I forgot it takes about a week to see how it's going to go. So, I get to be spaced out and loopy for a week. This is going to be interesting.
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