My fancy crowntail betta is very ill. I know that he is suffering. He is bloated and it's clear that he's struggling. At the same time, when ever I am at the tank, he swims right up to the surface to greet me and try to get food. (I haven't been over feeding him, he has some kind of parasite.) I have the clove oil. I was all set to put a few drops in to drop him into permanent sleep. Then he swam up to the surface and around in a circle. He's fighting so hard to live. I just don't have the heart to put him down right now.
There's little hope that he is going to recover. I feel like I'm a bad person for not putting him down right now. But, he's still kicking. He hasn't given up and just lays on the bottom of the tank except for food. I feel like it would be cruel to put him down when he's struggling to get over this illness. I don't know how he got this parasite. The tank was clean. The water was properly treated. He just got sick about a week ago and is now very bloated and struggles to swim.
I had medicine to treat him but it expired in '09, the last time I had a betta that was sick like this. A part of me says "It's just a fish. Why are you so upset over this?" as another part of me says, "It's wrong to kill him when he's trying so desperately to live." Arose (his name is from old Norse and means 'from the river') has been with us for several years. He's reaching about the end of his life expectancy if he was healthy. Which I think made him more prone to catching this parasite. But I just can't kill him right now. I know he's suffering, but he's fighting to live. I can't bring myself to crush that spark of light.
Freyr says that euthanization is the most humane way to end his suffering because he's past the point where medication would help. I'm sure he's right given how bloated Arose is and how quickly he reached this state. He says that it wouldn't be cruelty to put him down. Fortunately, he is not telling me it is cruelty to let him try to heal on his own. I don't have the fish medicine and I don't know where to get it. But I have the clove oil that will anesthetize him and then kill him on an over dose.
A part of me says that I'm too attached to this fish. I knew it wasn't going to live as long as a cat or a dog. Another part of me says that this fish is, in a way, part of our family and the kids are going to be very upset if I put him down. Over the last several days, they've noticed how sick Arose is and have questioned if he is going to die. They're more prepared for the fish to die than I am to put him down.
Something not quite right about that.
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