Nope, still not better yet.

When I saw the doctor a few weeks ago, he and I agreed that if I wasn't feeling better I should come back in. It was about my fall in January. We figured it was a 50% chance that I had bruised my ribs or fractured one. Deciding that since the course of treatment was the same either way, I didn't go for x-rays. So, here I am at the point when I should be feeling healthy and hale, in moderate pain with out Aleve and it gets worse when I work the muscles on my right side. Lifting a full gallon of milk is uncomfortable but anything more still hurts.

I guess I fractured something. I have a follow up appointment scheduled on the 6th. This will be one of the things I bring up. I'm rather vexed because it is difficult to go about my daily tasks with only my off hand for heavy work. You can't lift a basin full of water with just one hand and pour it effectively. Well, you could pour it but have no control over it. Laundry is just in bags about because lifting and moving it around is really hard unless I am doing a few items at a time.

I'm frustrated and feeling like I'm not doing enough. I am in that situation my tarot cards warned me about in December. I am the Hanged Man and the 5 of Swords. I'm in a point of stasis and it is driving me half mad with boredom. To top it off, I am struggling to focus enough to get things done because I keep getting distracted by all the other stuff that NEEDS to get done. (Emphasis by my anxiety.)

So, what do you do when you can't keep fighting? I guess it is surrender or attack in the opposite direction. But retreat isn't exactly an option here. I suppose it is surrender. One of the few benefits out of this mess is that my posture has improved. The only way I am comfortable is if I sit or stand with a properly erect spine. I can only lie on my left side, which has helped some with the heartburn issues, I guess. I can't do my morning yoga and, strangely, I miss it. I can't go walking of late between the weather and discovering that if I have to use my cane for a significant period of time, my ribs hurt. (My knees have been really bad this week.)

I know there's some kind of lesson here. I'm not sure exactly how to apply it or just what it is. Fighting this and attempting to be a stoic about it all is just causing real pain here. So, I'm going to stop doing that. I don't know what to do, though. This is all very disconcerting for so many reasons.