Monday, October 05, 2015

Shoveling from a sitting position.

It has been a week of a lot of writing. I am on one hand pleased with all the progress I have made. At the same time, I keep catching myself worrying that I am going to run out of things to say. I am doing my best to just put those worries into my little 'box' and set it aside for the gods to deal with. There is getting to be a bit of a pile of proverbial boxes. It makes me glad that they're not physical things because I would have a stack a few feet high by now.

The other thing I keep putting into my boxes is the negative self talk. It has been pretty hard. I didn't realize how much I did that until I started actively monitoring what I was saying to myself. I discovered that when I am depressed, I am truly horrible to myself. I felt guilty for it when I realized it. Then it was explained to me that it was how I was taught to treat myself. It helped some to hear that. I am trying not to let myself get caught up in guilt over it. So, the guilt is going into a box as well.

I have a big pile of laundry waiting to be dealt with. I haven't folded a thing yet today. I just didn't feel up to it. I am going to try to get some done this evening after dinner, provided that Cuddle Bear doesn't have homework tonight. I am trying to steel myself for how tiring this weekend is going to be. My freezer is so full, I can't prep a meal and keep it in there to pop in the oven later. It is not a bad problem to have, but it is a little exasperating.

I am hoping that the weather will be decent over the weekend. The boys have a four day weekend this weekend. I am going to try to get them down to their friends's house. It has been a little while since we have visited them. With the cold weather coming, visiting gets a bit tricky because the one sidewalk in town doesn't get cleared off. And yet the paths at the park are shoveled? I don't understand that but I'm not going to try to make sense of what the local government is up to.

I'm making progress on losing weight. I just realized I hadn't said anything about this in a few months. I'm down 20 pounds. I have dropped two pants sizes and I can fit into a lot of my clothes from before I got pregnant. I am about fifteen pounds away from my goal weight. I think I might just manage to meet my goal of being 150lbs by the end of the year.

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