I've been struggling with insomnia for the last three years, correction five years. It didn't start with anxiety over Covid-19 or anything like that. It was a combination of my waking up randomly in the small hours of the morning and having neighbors that had screaming fights in the small hours of the morning. Did I forget to mention that the bedroom faces a wall that is particularly thin and I can hear everything in that apartment at a given time? Yeah, that's a thing and it sucks.
Last three neighbors in that apartment all had a native language of CAPSLOCK and it was not cruise control for awesome. If they were screaming things like 'I love you.' or 'This dinner is awesome.' that'd be one thing. I could kinda tolerate it and chalk it up to they're just loudly spoken. This, however, was not the case. So the current neighbor screams at her kids like a harpy on a bender. I haven't heard such vicious language towards children since my own childhood.
Needless to say, this makes my insomnia problem even worse. Because now I am waking up with flashbacks, having trauma memories show up in my nightmares, and I get afraid to go to sleep because of the trauma memories showing up in my sleep.
This week was particularly bad. I have nights now, this is new, where I sleep all night and wake up so exhausted I will sleep through most of the day. I missed two appointments and one important phone call because I was unconscious on the couch. My sleep wasn't helped by the fact that first my CPAP machine broke and then the loaner from the place I bought it broke.
Monday, I'm bringing in the loaner for them to send off to get fixed and they're giving me another loaner. Gods willing, this one won't break. It is exceedingly frustrating to uses these machines and when they stop working properly, you just want to chuck it out a window. They're worse than computers misbehaving. Because it messes with your breathing. Speaking of having it mess with my breathing, the first week I had it, I woke up with an asthma attack while it was still running. Good gods, that was terrifying. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to turn off the CPAP and get my inhaler.
One of the downstairs neighbors was smoking enough weed that it made our apartment smell like we were smoking it. Which triggered the asthma attack. Same thing with cigarette smoke. Which they indulge in as well and smoke like chimneys. Technically both are against the lease, but the landlord doesn't really do anything more than collect money and bully people who are late on payment by a few days to get money. I don't like the guy.
But that's been my week, oh and I'm almost over the flu.
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