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Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Ramblings

I feel like garbage right now. I have a migraine. My mood is a dumpster fire because of a combo of depression and ptsd bullshit. I just find myself wanting to have a shot of whiskey and smoke a cigarette. Because of the cocktail of medications I'm on, I can't have the whiskey. And I can't have the cigarette because of my asthma. I still find myself wanting them. I don't even know why I want the cigarette. The last time I had one, I think I was 20. I didn't smoke for even a year. 

We're still doing distance learning. Summer school is a major pain in the ass. It's not the teachers. It's not the tech. It's not the students. It's all of it and none of it at the same time. I am just exhausted from being "on duty" all the time for the last several months. I had considered home schooling the kids at one point in time. I have learned from this experience that I clearly do not have the patience, skill, or spoons to do it. I might have before the bipolar came along and drop kicked me in the head. I might not have had it in me, we'll never know.

In the news, I learned that one third of the population of the USA believes the Covid-19 death toll is overinflated. That horrified me as much as the sheer number of people I see going about their business as if nothing is wrong. Way back in April, more people were masked up and practicing safety measures. But now, most of the people I see out and about are not. It'd be one thing if they were practicing social distancing, but it's not happening as much as it should be. As a result, we stay in our home most of the time and only go outside to the front yard. No trips to the park this year so far. The kids are not happy about it but they're resigned to it.

I have no idea what school is going to look like. I don't know if I have the fortitude to continue distance learning in the way that we're doing it right now. But I don't want my kids catching this thing. It has been claimed by some people that Covid-19 doesn't impact the younger age bracket. That's a lie. There's been a bunch of lies like that told by high profile figures. As a result, we've got 1/3 of the population thinking that Covid-19 is just the same as a bad cold. 

And all of this is before you get into the Black Lives Matter business. (I am pro Black Lives Matter, if you don't like that, stop reading my blog.) I just don't have the energy to post about that right now. Maybe I'll be able to summon something up to post about it tomorrow.

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