Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Stumbling forward.

I've been having a rough week or so. It started with Snuggle Bug getting sick the weekend before last. He recovered and Beloved and I thought that everything was fine. Two days later, Cuddle Bear gets sick. We keep him home from school and then I come down with the bloody thing. That was a long and miserable day. I am beyond thankful that Beloved took the day off from work to mind us. Snuggle Bug, was, of course, feeling perfectly fine and a ball of energy.

Cuddle Bear seemed to have improved and gotten over the bug by the time the next morning rolled around. Later in the afternoon, we get a call from the school nurse. He apparently has been crying, complaining of an upset tummy, and had a fever. So, with some help from Beloved's parents, I went and picked him up. Then came the four day weekend.

That started with a great deal of fanfare and excitement. Beloved's parents brought the boys a bunkbed set. I tried to help my FiL in assembling the bed but he refused all help. (If I had any questions where Beloved got his stubborn streak, they've been clearly answered now.) The boys were thrilled beyond belief that they had new beds. They are still very excited about them and it has been almost a week now that they have had them.

As a thank you to Beloved's parents, I made homemade pizza. The kids, both fully recovered from their illness, were again excited to be having homemade pizza. When their aunt showed up for dinner too, they were bouncing around the room like pinballs in a machine. Somehow we managed to get them settled down and off to bed. Then, after the guests left, Beloved took off to the airport to meet his girlfriend.

She managed to get lucky and find some time to fly out to visit. I kinda wish that I had the opportunity to visit with her some as well, but I recognize that her time was at something of a premium. She may be coming out again in a few months. I hope that I get to have the opportunity to sit and have a cup of tea with her. She's a really sweet lady and I'd like to get to know her better. I recognize, however, that part of what I need to do is get past my shyness and actually initiate a conversation or two as well.

So, that was the weekend. While Beloved was out entertaining his gal, the boys were off the wall crazy. Monday they were such a handful that I was ready to scream. The crochet snood that I had been working on for one of my online sisters got destroyed by the kids while I was in the bathroom. They ripped out 85% of my work. This was something I had been working on over the last few months.

Now the crochet hooks are missing. I have no idea how I'm going to get this thing done. I confess, I've been in a bit of a panic to find everything. Because I have yule gifts that I am going to be making by way of crochet. It has not been easy to keep my cool. I look at the snarled remains of that snood and I get so down right sad. That's ok, I have thread and if I have to, I will go buy another hook. Now that I have figured out the pattern, I can get to work on it and get it done.

I have slid down into a depressive episode and that's been making things difficult. I am writing this with some sense of trepidation. I feel very anxious that this blog entry is just going to bring nothing but criticism. My home is a mess because I haven't had the energy to stay on top of the cleaning. I have been feeling physically unwell. I think part of the problem is the depressive episode and part of the problem is that I started my menses. The cramping has been horrible. Thank goodness I've got raspberry tea and tylenol. I am just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'll get through this one day at a time.

I keep telling myself "Baby steps. FlyLady's right, this didn't happen all at once, I don't need to fix it all right now."

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