Sense of timing sucks.

So, I have really bad timing. I think the only times when it wasn't horrible was when music was involved because then I could follow the beat. I could always manage to march in step with the band even when music wasn't being played. I was also the person who started calling out "Your left, left, left, right, left!" at full volume at the back of the entire group after I got exasperated with everyone around me shuffling their feet. I learned to march as a kid. Convoluted story there, has nothing to do with this, so I'm not going to get into it. (I did it at the daycare I worked at when a cadre of about eight boys decided they were an army. So I became their 'commanding officer' and taught them how to march much to the amusement of parents and coworkers. I had one parent say he felt like he was back at Ft. Bragg and asked me if there was any military in my family. I answered army and marines.)

But, telling jokes, I'm hopeless at it. I can kill you with dry sarcasm and snark. I can't tell a joke, however. I tried to be cute and get my husband to laugh at various times. I wasn't very successful. I keep trying, because I am convinced telling a joke is a skill I can learn. I haven't learned it yet, though it's been 30 something years that I've been trying.

My sense of timing is equally bad for judging how long I've been doing something. I was doing yoga this afternoon and was convinced I had held a pose for a full minute. I glanced at the clock, it was only 30 seconds. Yoga hates me as much as I dislike it. I honestly think I'm doing something wrong because in some poses, I have my right arm go numb. I don't know if it is because I did more damage than just fracturing a rib on that side last year or because I'm just that out of shape. It didn't used to happen, but it does now.

I am frustrated with my sense of timing for when to announce things and keep up with trends. Either I start something waaay before it becomes a trend and I never benefit from it becoming trendy or I start joining something about when it is waning. It leaves me wondering what I'm going to do when it comes to marketing my books and stuff. You need good timing and strong set of social skills to market things. I don't have much of either. I'm the person who tends to mumble and be awkward when they're put on the spot.

It's a combination of bad timing and social phobia. The only time I don't have that going on is when I was playing a character or performing somehow. I could put on this persona of confidence and I managed to interact with people with out awkwardness. Indeed, I had a character I played that intimidated people based on force of personality. I can't quite manage that in person. I am shy and stumbling. And anxious. But, give me a pen and I'm a bit bolder.

Who knows, maybe I'll figure out how to write jokes.