Fiber Fluff: The Bear is almost done! Huzzah!

 I have two more parts to make and fill with polyfill before I sew everything up together. My challenge is I am out of purple yarn and the last of my polyfill went into the body of the bear. This weekend, I will be picking up purple yarn, polyfill, and looking for button eyes that are a bit more like what Snuggle Bug has described.

Aside from that, my spinning is on hold and I just started making legit curtains for our windows because people keep looking in. It's terrible for my anxiety, so I'm crocheting curtains.

Happy Valentine's day (non commercialized)

 Friendly reminder. Valentine was murdered for marrying to Roman soldiers. He should be the patron saint of the lgbtq+ community but certain parties can't have that. And that's just not profitable. So let's make it all about candy, cards, condoms, and carnal lust. On Ash Wendsday at that.

Pardon me while I laugh. Because if I can't laugh, I'm going to be screaming from the roof tops that lust isn't love and buying flowers doesn't mean that they really love you no matter how expensive they are, they're just a means to trying to get in your pants.

This is a love bomb free zone. I will shoot down all high flyers who think they can love bomb me into giving them what they want. I've been doing it since out of an abusive relationship. I will continue to do it gleefully. Remember Cupid is armed with an arrow and roses have thorns.

This week's Menu

It has been five years of food logging and I can't stand it anymore. I'm just making carb appropriate menus for myself and doing my best to keep track of things that way. Food logging kicks up my anxiety over am I eating more than I should compared to the rest of the family. It puts me in the mental place that my anorexia lives and I fall into binge-starve habits. I can't do it anymore. So, I am going to plan my menu for myself and may be post pics of meals that I think came out especially well. 

A part of me says I should bust out the good china as a motivational thing but having an awkward teen washing the dishes, I think I'm going to stick with my daily wear dishes. And I'm going down a plate size to a salad plate for meals. Despite what you see here, I'm actually drinking half-caff coffee and it's generally only one cup a day. And my tea consumption is a bit higher than this looks. I figure because tea has half the caffeine of coffee, I can do that with out a negative consequence. The only challenge to all of this is my daily exhaustion and such because of my sleep problems. The CPAP has helped, but not enough.

Day	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Sun	yogurt with granola coffee	pb&j diet tea	pizza diet soda
Mon	yogurt coffee granola	pb&j diet tea	hamburgers coffee
Tues	yogurt coffee granola	leftovers flavored water	tacos/ taco salad diet soda
Wed	yogurt coffee granola	chicken - tomato salad diet tea	meatloaf cheesy potatoes diet soda
Thurs	yogurt granola coffee	leftovers water	chicken fingers/fish tea
Fri	yogurt coffee granola	chicken - tomato salad tea	sandwich night tea
Sat	yogurt granola coffee	roast beef sand. tea	take out diet soda

It's been a long week ... 9 days long!?!

 I try to set modest goals for myself. Then I get swamped with stupid problems and stupider situations. It is all very vexing and I rather hate it. But that gets turned inward because of conditioning and shit, which turns into my cycling between feeling like a failure and feeling useless. It all together is rather awful. I kinda hate my parents for fucking with my brain like they did for the entire time I lived under their roof.

Anyways, it looks like my FiL is having health problems. He's an older man, it's not that surprising. Nor is it terribly surprising that he's been doing his best to ignore it and push everyone away. That's him being old school 'manly' and suffering in stoic silence, alone. In other words, stupid. How do I know this is stupid? Because I was trained into doing that kind of thing by my parents (who didn't want to be inconvenienced by a child crying because they were sick). I won't go into details about that process, let it be enough to say it was barbaric and cruel. I'm still dealing with the fall out from that.

If you're sick, you get help. You don't sit there and say that you are tougher than your illness, whatever it may be. It's senseless to do that instead of managing your illness and, depending on what it is, getting medical assistance when you need it. It comes from a toxic and archaic attitude that seems to be on the rise with the increase of 'conservative values'. I put that in quotes because most of the conservatively aligned people I know will go to the doctor and get antibiotics when they have an infection. They're not anti-science or anti-medicine. I may abhor their political views, but they're not what's on the rise here.

But that's a subject for a different day. Right now, I'm just really annoyed that my FiL's stubborn streak may put me in the position of having to reschedule my dentist appointment again. I have a pretty strong feeling if he got some help when he was beginning to have these ailments he sort of complains/be bitchy about, he would be doing much better and would necessarily have to under go this procedure he has coming up. 

However, I'm a woman with multiple chronic health conditions, what the hell do I know about managing my illness? *rolls eyes hard* And, yes, that was pretty much his response when I suggested he talk to his doctor. Adding insult to injury, he mansplained chronic illness to me with all of his biases and prejudice in place. I was good, I didn't punch him. 

Blessed Imbolc to all who celebrate it.

 To all who celebrate Imbolc, I wish you a warm and happy day. May Bridget bless you and your home with prosperity and joy. May she bring you inspiration and stoke the fires of creativity for you to express what is in your heart more fully. <3

Nightmares suck, night terrors suck even more.

Sleep last night was not my friend. Two reasons: I am still getting used to the damn CPAP machine and trying to fit the mask properly, and I had some vivid nightmares. I think the nightmares means that my traumatized brain is attempting to process what happened to me when I was younger, but I'm not sure. Last night, it was more like memories coming up with a combination of staircase wit. I woke up on the verge of crying, furious, and with the words in my mouth to scream at my mother over her accusation that I seduced my father to get him to sign on my student loans. I literally lost count the number of times that she had accused me of being sexually involved with my father, going all the way back to when I was in my single digits. I was horrified, disgusted, and embarrassed by it. It wasn't my father that molested me, it was my paternal grandfather and a few years later, my younger brothers.

But if I said any of that, all hell would have broken loose. Arguments between my mother and I consisted of her screaming insane accusations at me, as I stood with my head hung down, waiting for a beating to commence, and mumbling that I didn't do anything she had accused me of. It was awful, degrading, and left me scarred in ways that I am still trying to figure out how to process (the Aspects/personalities/insiders).

It wasn't safe in my parent's house to express myself. As such, when each little bit of me split off, it went down inside where it'd be safe. Now that I am safe, it's confusing when they bubble up. My psychiatrist assures me that trauma is a spectrum and that my having these experiences does not mean that I have an additional diagnosis only that I was deeply traumatized.

At least I am not having night terrors right now. The weighted blanket helps prevent that. I worry about having them again. Once the CPAP machine entered the picture, sleep sort of improved despite how uncomfortable and awkward the mask is. But the mask reminds me of when someone in my parent's household tried to smother me. It's not good. It makes me concerned that I'll be having them again because these memories are coming on so strong.

I can not brain, I haz teh dumb.

 Hi there!

I haven't written in quite a while. It's frustrating. I open up the laptop and stare at the screen as my mind goes blank. In my continuing battle with the cpap machine, I talked to the 'sleep coach'/specialist at where I bought it. I found out that it is running properly and a 20 l/min leak is well within accepted tolerances. I was praised for my compliance with the sleep therapy requirements of the insurance company. I was shown how it has reduced my sleep apnea to functionally non-existent. I guess I was relieved by the news. I was concerned that I wasn't using the equipment correctly and that was why it had the leak or why some nights I'd wake up with a hurricane blowing into my face.

Then I had a follow up appointment with the sleep doctor's RN. I was told all the good things the insurance company wanted was actually in line with the goals for the cpap in my therapy. She adjusted some comfort settings and now I don't wake up with a hurricane blowing into my face if the mask gets dislodged in the night. So there's that.

Cuddle Bear's IEP meeting for his senior year is coming up. I am just exasperated. They were supposed to mail us a copy of the draft but it never reached us. I now have to jump through hoops to get it emailed to me, though they really don't want to do that because email is insecure. So is the mailbox at our residence, but they insist of late on sending material there instead of to our post office box. And they don't even have the address correct. I still have to update friends we know that we're using a p.o. box but I entered that information into the school's data base right after we got the thing and it's now a crap shoot if we get mail from them there or at this lame mailbox that people keep stealing mail out of and the carrier dumps mail that isn't ours in. 

I am frustrated and I feel dumb. Maybe it's because I haven't had my morning coffee yet.

We survived but presents are not done. Gods help me.

The holidays were stressful as per usual. No one was seriously sick in our household but the in-laws were. It made for awkward times with the kids. They wanted toys and they got books. For a moment we thought they were going to explode but they immediately sat down and began reading. I kinda feel like we dodged a bullet there. It's going to be a gradual process to transition them from eagerly looking for the latest toys and more mature items. But, they are getting older and this is part of growing up. They'll still get little stim-toys and candy via the 12 Yule boxes. But things like clothes, educational material about their special interests and what not is what's coming down the line for the next few years.

I have blocked Cuddle bear's sweater. I'm afraid to take the pins out and watch it shrink. I really have no idea what I'm doing with this sweater. I have two seams to sew and ends to weave in, then it is finished. Snuggle Bug's bear is ... in parts with my still crocheting more parts. I am wondering if this was a poor executive decision. It has been stressful to say the least.

Now that we're into the beginning of the secular year, the teachers at school have been pressuring Snuggle Bug to make New Year's Resolutions. We don't do that here. In fact, we discourage it. Our feeling is if you want to improve yourself, you can do it at anytime. The social pressure of doing it now is high and the lad is not happy. He's struggling. We've done our best to give him guidance on resolutions he can make that are not school oriented but appropriate. 

We'll see how that goes.

I will have to walk into the maelstrom to get things, oiy.

 My last week has been spent on knitting feverishly on this sweater. (40 rows before the final edging.) I haven't even started the bear that's been requested of me. I'm starting to think I might not get it done at all. I'm crocheting just as feverishly on a mobius cowl. I think I made a mistake thinking it was going to be easy to get done quick. Large yarn and large hook is faster than small yarn with a small hook. But 200 stitches per round is still alot. And I worry it won't be large enough or wide enough with the yarn that I have. 

I was planning on baking cookies from scratch but now I think the best decision is to buy packaged dough and go that way because I'm running out of time. I think the school pictures (that initially I thought weren't going to happen) showed up. That means picture frames and such. Aside from going into Shopmageddon to buy picture frames, I need to acquire things for the 12 boxes of Yule. I also need to locate books for the holiday eve book giving that I've started doing. And there are people that I can't  make things for because the pattern I was testing had the gauge all messed up. I don't have time to fix that and then make three versions of that pattern. So, I will have to brave the crowds to get stuff for them.

As a person with social phobia, Shopmageddon is not my favorite time of year. As a matter of fact, it is my least favorite time of year between the crowds and all of the canned holiday music that hasn't changed since 1950. I loathe Bing Crosby's voice because I've been over exposed to it. And they start playing it earlier and earlier with each year. I heard holiday music in one store back in August and they were setting up some of their holiday displays. Ugh.

I did not plan for a week to go by. Oiy.

  I planned to pick up the blogging threads and start weaving them again Monday. Then I had a migraine that put me out of commission. After that, I had my intake appointment for therapy. I glossed over some of the trauma because I could see that my therapist was getting deeply disturbed. I don't want to break another therapist. This one genuinely wants to help and when I broke down crying in the middle of the session, she offered me some tissues and told me to take the time I needed.

I'm worried that as I get into the deeper mess of it all, I'm going to break her. I just glossed over a lot of the trauma and her expression turned grave. I made clear there was a lot more that was a lot uglier. I don't know if I'm going to be transferred from V., who I just met, to the head of the clinic. I don't honestly know how it's going to go. Watching that woman's pained expression made me feel awful to be the cause of it. But, that was Tuesday.

Wednesday was taking the boys to their therapy appointments. The guys seem to be doing well in session and learning how to better manage their emotions. Cuddle Bear has some testosterone poisoning induced anger issues, but he's 16, that happens. (No literal poisoning, just raging hormones.) He also has some serious anxiety about a number of things. The therapy process is helping him get something of a handle on his anger and anxiety. So, it is working well for him. Snuggle Bug is anxious about everything school related and that's a long slog through that mess of feelings. And hormones are kicking in as he is entering puberty. His therapist is working really hard to help him navigate this stuff. He's having some difficulty, but I think he'll get through it.

Today, I'll be doing a video for my Veiled Witch blog. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to talk about. My brain is a bit fuzzy and I'm tired because my CPAP and I haven't been getting along well since day one. If I can, tomorrow, I will stop as the medical supply store where I picked it up and see what other mask options my health insurance covers. Apparently with this one, I just haven't had a good seal with the mouth piece which is why it is leaking so much. I'm relieved that I haven't broken it. I was getting worried there.

And to top it all off, I have caught the cold that's been bothering everyone else in the house. My sinuses hate me, my throat is itchy, and I'm even more tired than just with the messed up sleep situation. Ugh.

NaBloPoMo post no. 30: *Another* Migraine, argh!

 The temperature jump of 30 degrees is what set this one off. I've taken my Excedrin because medical studies are inconclusive if you can take Imitrex more than 3 time in a 30 day period. Over the course of this month, I've had four migraines because of the stupid weather. I can handle a temperature jump of 10 degrees F in either direction. If it is 20 deg F or higher, I get a migraine. Especially if there's rain coming with it or some other form of precipitation.

On top of the migraine, if we've got weather coming all my joints hurt and where I got the epidurals to have the c-sections when the boys were born, well it feels like I got hit there with a bat. It's just not a good time. I try to grit my teeth and push through but there's only so much misery I can deal with before I say I give up and hide in a dark room in a blanket fort/pile.

Stupid migraine.

NaBloPoMo post no. 29: I think I caught my son's cold.

 Cuddle Bear has had a wicked cold for a little while now. He's finally recovering from it. Now I am showing symptoms and I am highly annoyed. I have been sick so much of the year that it took a serious bite out of my productivity. I had pneumonia for two months. I had bursitis in my right shoulder for a week after that. Then the left shoulder got pissy for a week and only ice worked to make it hurt less. Earlier in the year was the three day migraine. Just about every month, on average, I've had a migraine due to the weather. It's been pretty awful because I'm basically out of commission for three days for each migraine. The day before, I am scatter brained and succumbing to food cravings like a fool. The day of, I am functionally useless between the light and sound sensitivity. And did I mention the nausea. It all together an awful experience. The day after, I'm just as scatter brained as I was the day before but I am exhausted too. It's not fun and I don't recommend it to anyone.

I'm frustrated. And I'm tired despite the CPAP machine helping me breathe in the night. I just don't feel great and I have no good news or wonderful announcements for y'all today. Just hang in there like the cat on the window screen and we'll all get through this.

NaBloPoMo post no. 28: Snowmageddon missed us by 10 miles.

As many of you are aware, I and my family live in the Finger Lakes region. We're at the westernmost part of that area. Not quite Western New York, not quite Central New York, and a scooch too far north to be part of the Southerntier. We are in an awkward position geographically for people to define, unless you are talking football. Then it is everything from Buffalo east to Syracuse is "Bills Country" and even if you don't like football, you're socially expected to be part of the Bill's Mafia. Because Bills.

The Weather Channel made the usual Lake Effect that makes driving through Western New York hazardous this time of year sound like the worst ever. The snow bands from the Great Lakes can reach pretty far inland. We are in this pocket where the snow bands off Lake Erie misses us by about ten miles and the snow band off Lake Ontario miss us by, roughly, another ten miles. And then because of the weird microclimates due to all the hills, we happen to sit in a spot where we don't get nailed too badly when the big storms roll in, usually.

When we hit the latter part of the week where we are suppose to warm up to around forty degrees Fahrenheit, the couple of inches of snow that we got will probably all melt. The real problem for us is this bitter cold and the wind. It has been blowing pretty hard most of the day so far. I suspect the wind chill is about the same as it was in the morning, around 19 deg F. My sons were not happy to wait for the bus in this weather. Only enough snow for one young man to shovel and their hands were very cold despite their good quality gloves. As my eldest said when I told him he could not wait in the apartment for the bus, "I hope you'll be happy when I get frostbite in my hands." He usually doesn't fire off quips like that, but I don't blame him. It was pretty bitter out there.

I told him to wait in the entryway out of the wind. That seemed to mollify him. As someone who gets cold easily and literally hurts like it is burning their flesh, I could empathize with him. Still, I chuckle at what he snapped off. Because about ten seconds later the bus arrived and he left the entryway grumbling. 

NaBloPoMo post no. 27: Shoppmageddon tempts me.

Beloved pointed out to me that I didn't have to make everything for everyone on my list. I hear the siren call of shopping and I am doing my best to resist. I suspect in the end half of what I have planned will be made and I'll be working on a shopping list in a week or so. Because there's a lot to do to fix the disaster of this apartment. 

It is my goal to have it all clean by Yule or Mother's Night. I'm not throwing a party or anything. I just want to have this place sorted out kinda like a present to myself. I don't know how I am going to get the kids to participate in this. It may be a temporary suspension of tablet time. I don't know. Snuggle Bug is very forgetful and I have to watch him like a hawk to keep him on task. (As much as he assures me he doesn't need the supervision, he really does.) Cuddle Bear is finally beginning to step up and start handling some of the chores.

I don't know what Beloved said to him in that conversation, but it's made for a turnaround in his attitude towards housework.

NaBloPoMo post. no. 26: I guess I wake up at 0400 now.

 Since using the CPAP machine, I have been consistently waking up at 0400 and taking a one hour nap at 0800. This isn't a huge problem just bewildering. I can't figure out what is waking me up at 0400. The neighbors' pets are typically rather quiet at that time. They haven't been fighting at that hour in a couple weeks.  Maybe my body is just telling met it is time to get out of bed and do stuff.

I have spent most of my morning reconciling my daily planner with my journal. I got to a point where that became mind numbing and I ate breakfast about an hour early compared to what I usually do. I was good, I wrote everything down in my food journal. I hate monitoring my food intake. It brings up ugly memories of my youth and the feeling that I am eating too much when I am not, I am eating exactly what I should. I have a lot of anxiety surrounding food, bad habits of restricting intake, and similar garbage behaviors that go back to when my mother was starving me because the worst thing I could be was fat.

Thoughts about things like that will keep me up at night trying to figure out wtf is wrong with an 8 yo having a few extra pounds on them. I was an active child and I burned off about half of what I ate running around the farm. Considering that I get cold easily, like dangerously fast, a few extra lbs would probably have done me some good as a child. But what to I know. That is in the past and I really need to leave it there.

Nablopomo post no. 25 - So. Many. Carbs.

I've been trying really hard to watch my carbohydrate intake. Yesterday, I was stress eating leftovers. I saw there was a small amount of bread based stuffing and thought it'd be ok to eat it. After all, it was lunch time and that's the time of the day where I am supposed to eat the most carbs out of the whole day. My range is 35 to 40 carbs per meal and 10 to 15 carbs per snack (3 snacks a day).  I ate my dark meat turkey and this small bit of stuffing. Two hours later my blood sugar was way high (275 mg/dl) and I felt awful.

Pretty much everything on the table except for a small salad and the dressing that Beloved made was high in carbs. So I took only meat and the dressing that Beloved had made. I didn't have any salad because I wasn't in the mood for it. Also, it was a really small bowl of salad for 12 people. But, I was good, I had one serving of the dressing and a generous amount of meat. I think I was successful at balancing my carb load against how much protein I needed.

I did my best to ignore the rest of the food on the table despite people waxing poetic about it. I did my best to ignore the fact that there was mulled cider, regular cider, and wine to drink. I stuck with my bottle of water (which is kinda big). I'd have loved to have had a glass of wine or a glass of cider. But the wine would mess with my psychiatric medications and the cider is basically liquid sugar. There were four different kinds of pies. That was plenty of temptation right there. The only indulgence I allowed myself was a sliver of the most diabetic friendly pie of the bunch, apple crumble. It was unsatisfactory and left me fairly disappointed. Not because it was a bad pie, but because I couldn't have more.

Cue lunchtime yesterday. I told myself that I was only going to have a little bit of the stuffing. And I did, approximately the equivalent of two slices of regular bread. Like a fool, I forgot that two slices of regular bread is, on average 60 carbs. About twenty minutes later, I felt awful. And that was when I went 'oh no, I screwed up.' and checked my blood sugar. It was high. I reminded myself a more accurate reading will be in an hour and a half. I took my blood sugar then and it was still quite high. So, I started drinking a ton of water to get that sugar out of my system. It took me about 3 hours to get it down to a semi-acceptable number.

After that fiasco, I warned Beloved about the high carb load of the stuffing. He heaved a sigh. I knew exactly how he was feeling. He had been looking forward to it because he didn't have any, and now he might be forced not to have a bite of it. He got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a few months ago. He was rather despondent for a while but then he started looking around for recipes he could adapt, hence the pumpkin pie a little while back. He has jumped into cooking with both feet and is finding a good amount of success.

It helps that he's an engineer and approaches it as one. He views the recipe as an experiment and learns from what doesn't work. I think it's a rather brilliant way to do it. Now that we're playing around with sugar substitutes, it's like we're doing chemistry or alchemy, I'm not sure which.  

Nablopomo post no. 24: Thank gods, THAT is done!

 Turkey Day was not a complete fiasco. The old goat wasn't quite as goatish. He didn't have snide comments about the diabetics at the table this year. I think it was because there was three of us instead of one. Dinner was well tolerated. No one got snippy over my boys not having much of an appetite. Beloved and I did our level best to not get into the food with too high of a sugar content. My red lipstick didn't transfer to anything (except when I blotted the corner of my mouth, then it transferred to the napkin, but it was the same color as the cranberry sauce, so I think I'm safe).

The Boomers were happy to talk among themselves. The Gen-X crew was washing and cleaning up from dinner on the sly to irritate the old goat (whose hobby is washing dishes now). And the Gen-Z kids were on their tablets giggling at cat videos.

I got absolutely no knitting done, but I expected that. I did get started on a soap sack for Beloved. I brought two projects with me so that I had something to keep my hands busy while everyone else was twirling around before dinner with setting the table and cooking. It also worked pretty well to keep me out of conversations I didn't want to be involved in.

Nablopomo post no. 23 - Ah gods, it's Turkey Day.

 It is 0436 and I have been up since 0230. My stomach is all knotted up and I feel nauseated. I know that I'm going to be exhausted later today because I've only gotten 4 and a half hours of sleep. I am not looking forward to today. I just want to avoid the world and sleep. But I can't sleep because of how my stomach is roiling. I've tried drinking water. I've tried a cup of tea. I've tried Gas-X and antiacids. Nothing is working.

I don't know if this is a side effect of the Trulicity showing up at an inconvenient time. I don't know if this is my anxiety. I just know I feel rotten at the moment. 

Everyone in the apartment is asleep but I. I spent about a half hour doing crochet by relatively dim light. Because I couldn't accurately count rows, I set it aside and said to myself "I have blog posts to catch up on. I can do that because my keyboard is quiet and the angle of the room with where I positioned my desk lamp means I won't wake up the kids.

I had a migraine that lasted for two days. This is part of the reason why I didn't post. It's hard to brain up words when you feel like someone is trying to pry your skull apart and light is stabbing you in the face. Yesterday, I was post migraine but still feeling horrid. That was because I had a terrible night's sleep the night before because of the migraine.

Looking at the weather and the dramatic temperature drop expected, I'm probably going to have another migraine. I don't know if this sick feeling is aura symptoms, because that happens if I'm going to have a really bad one. All I know is that I can't take the Imitrex because I've already taken it twice this month. So, Excedrin is going to be my go to today.

I'm not looking forward to talking politics. I'm not looking forward to snide comments about the food that my FiL doesn't think looks tasty or his bitchiness about the idea of people having food sensitivities or allergies. I'm really hoping I don't have to sit next to him again. It was really hard to resist the urge to stab him with a fork as he was going on about how there were too many vegetable dishes.

I kinda hate that man between his politics, his opinions on child rearing, and his sense of entitlement to dictate how other people should be. His wife is sweet as pie and I adore her. We have a lot in common. We could natter on for hours about shared hobbies and projects we're working on. I don't talk to him unless I absolutely have to. I fear it will be necessary to talk to him today. This is going to suck.

Nablopomo post no. 22: Deb vs CPAP -round 3 (It didn't go out the window, yet.)

 This confounded thing keeps turning off in the middle of the night. Not just turning the screen off but the entire damned contraption. I've tried a number of things. All I can do is wait for the power to cycle (a half hour) and then I can go back to sleep, but by then I am awake.

On top of that the neighbor's dog has been whining and howling since 0100 and it is 1410 right now. And at 0100, there was a screaming argument next door. Sleep was not my friend last night. And at 0500, their parrot started squawking. As Beloved said last night when he got home from work, that apartment is a literal circus now.

I thought about putting on the CPAP to take a nap around 1300. But that was when a screaming argument broke out between the neighbor in apt b and some other neighbor in the building. They were told they should be more like us, it wasn't vindicating. It was just another irritation for me. I'm exhausted with the noise last night and the CPAP being wonky. My brain is still fuzzy between mild sleep dep and the lingering effects of the migraine. Too bad the CPAP didn't help with the migraine. But, I guess there's only so much it can do.

Nablopomo post no. 21 - Trulicity Week 2

 Some of the side effects of nausea and belching are present. On average, however, my daily fasting blood glucose has come down by 20 points. I've been a fool a few times over the last two weeks and ate like I didn't have diabetes. My blood sugar went high and I felt like garbage. Thus, Trulicity is not a cure all, like the ads like to make it out to be.

I'm a little nervous about Turkey Day. That's going to be a wide range of food, with a good amount of it not exactly carb friendly. Now approximately a third of the adults at the table are diabetic. I am wondering what my curmudgeon of a FiL is going to say about the dishes we put on the table. If he complains there's too many vegetables, I might stab him with a fork. Last year was a close call when he made that comment with out even trying what I had cooked.

He tries to come off as a bafoon but sounds like a spoiled brat. It makes me angry when he comments on my cooking and doubly so when he comments on Beloved's cooking. This is part of why I am dreading tomorrow.