Still trying to make a schedule, kids are not helping.

I just need some time where they're not distracting me or talking at me so that I can get something resembling a new schedule put together for the household. It's not working so great. On top of that, I am tired and depressed. I've been mildly depressed for a while but I'm feeling it more intensely right now. Some of this is because of the gloomy weather we have right now. Some of this is because of the overwhelming anxiety that I have about the pandemic.

The attempts to get a jump on home schooling activities are not progressing well. I have them do 15 minutes of reading after breakfast and then write down one to three sentences about what they read. Then I give them free play time, but it's getting chaotic. Which makes me think that they need something else more focused to do. But I have stuff that I try to get done in the morning, like my writing.

Today, I sat them down and asked them to write down four things they wanted to do this week. I'm going to look it over and see if any of it is something I can actually help them get done. I hope that it isn't a list of things like visiting people and going to the park. Because we're strictly observing social distancing as best we can due to my health problems putting me into a high risk category for COVID19 being a major problem for me.

I kinda want to get out of the house and do stuff but I am reluctant to even go clean the entryway for fear of bumping into the neighbors (who work with the public and are possibly carriers of COVID19 right now). I'll be honest, I'm terrified. I compensate by compartmentalizing it all. And by logging everything I can. I've fallen off the wagon with my food log because I've been distracted by things while I am eating.

I tried doing a reading on things regarding the big family get together in August and I just got gibberish out of my tarot cards. I'm debating trying again. I suspect that it will be yet more gibberish because I'm too close to the situation. I don't know what we're going to do when the weather warms up. Seclusion when the weather is cold is easy. Doing so when it is warm is far harder.

I'm just rambling now. I guess I'll end today's post with the hope that I haven't annoyed y'all too much with it.