Sleep has not been my friend of late.

I have been having strange nightmares, like the one I posted on my other blog, pretty much every night. Sometimes, I don't have a nightmare. But, that's been the exception rather then the rule over the last month and I'm getting sick of it. It seems like every day, I have a headache and I'm tired from a poor nights sleep. When night comes, I dread falling asleep, so I've recently been staying up. Going to bed at 1 am doesn't exactly make for a good morning when my boy wakes up at 7 am or even 6:30 am.

I don't remember these nightmares that clearly, but I thought with the search and drama surrounding locating a new apartment resolved, I may have my nightmares go away. I was wrong. So, now, I don't know what to do. The nights where I take something to help me fall asleep, I don't generally remember the nightmares. I just wake feeling uneasy. It's getting harder for me to fall asleep, this is part of the reason why I stay up as well. The slightest noise wakes me up and if there's just a little bit of light, I can't fall asleep. It was bothering me to such an extent that I unplugged my alarm clock because it's too bright.

I've been using a "sleep mask" and it helps, sort of. Earplugs have never done me much good, they just don't stay in my ears. So, I toss and turn a fair amount before I do finally fall asleep. I'm at something of a loss for what to do about this. I don't exactly want to talk to my doctor about it because I'm pretty sure that all of this is anxiety related. For some odd reason, I just can't stop worrying about money. We've got enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, so it's not that we're hurting. Sure, we can't go spend it like we did before the baby came along, but that's part of what we knew was going to happen when I got pregnant. We were prepared for that. Or at least, I thought that I was.

Now... Now, I don't know what my issue is. Perhaps I need to stop watching the news so much. Perhaps I need to stop talking to my folks about money, as they're getting into another paranoid fit again. It's not like I am convinced that the economy is going to fail tomorrow. And if it did, sitting on a pile of money isn't going to do us any good. After all, when the Deutchmark failed back before WWII, it took a wheelbarrow full of money to buy a loaf of bread. I find myself wondering how much of this fiscal trouble that we're seeing is caused by the media freaking out over it. At the same time, however, I recognize that we didn't do our economy any good by shifting away from being based in real goods and manufacturing. A service based economy and a trade deficit isn't going to really help you build wealth unless you're at the top of the pyramid. Because I think that the whole service based economy is alot like a pyramid scheme.

The whole system sucks, and I'm working in that sector right now. I don't know if I'm a fool or not. I think I'm going to just stop rambling for now and go wash dishes. That's a real, concrete problem for me to deal with. And after that, I'll wash my hair while I've got a little peace and quiet before the boy is up from his nap. Perhaps, with luck, I won't feel quite so anxious later.