A Room of His Own

I've got to admit, I chuckled when I first heard the term 'man room' and 'man cave'. Now, I'm amused to see this item linked on the CNN main page. I am not laughing at the men who have taken it upon themselves to do this. I'm not laughing at that at all. It's the fact that such a simple thing is getting so much attention. I've been somewhat halfhearted about following this, but CNN has been spending a little time on this 'man cave' concept. It's a soft-news item that's actually been getting a fair amount of attention.

Here's what my thoughts are on a 'man room' (or it's brother concept the 'man cave'):

Everyone needs a space where they can go and lay claim on it as their own exclusive domain. When you live together, you find that you have times where you just need to get away from the other people who you are sharing that space with. A few generations back, that 'man room' was the den. Women generally had reign over the rest of the house as they were there more often and actively in charge of domestic affairs. Virginia Woolf pointed out that women also needed a private space, but I can't recall if there was any real social change effected, unless the parlor, which was generally used for entertaining guests, was used for that purpose.

To everyone who insists that it is insensitive of a man to demand breathing space and something of a sanctuary of his own within his home, you're all fools. What on earth is he supposed to do? If he wants to relax and have time just to himself is he supposed to go sit in the car? Are we denying people the comfort and respite of their homes because all of the space is to be shared?Let the men have their 'man room' and let women have their own special room. If it's possible to make happen, do it. If you can't, then make a section of a room that person's sole domain.

It may drive you crazy and irritate the living daylights out of you to have that picture of dogs playing poker up on the wall there. It may even make you mad how he leaves candy wrappers on his desk and that you can never find anything there. That, however, is his problem. Let him have his own space and privacy. It shows respect for the man in your life. Taking time like that allows him the opportunity to 'recharge' and bring more of himself back to the relationship. It's healthy.

I recognize, healthy isn't popular. Perhaps it's time to buck the trend and do what's best for your well being, folks, because I think things like this are the reason why my marriage is healthy.