day: gods only knows what of this bullshit.

I'm still kicking. I am exhausted. Some of this is the side effects of my body adjusting to this medication's higher dosage that I'm on now. Some of this is the damn heat dome over my region of the US. I am still depressed. Dr. M. explained that the Latuda doesn't act on the Seritonin receptors of the brain like the Vraylar did and this is why my symptoms persist. They're more mild than they were in March. But I have no drive to do anything and a massive case ennui. 

Despite this, I am making progress on getting the boys community supports to help them get through the summer with their sanity intact. Living in a fairly isolated environment isn't very good for one's mental health be it an adult or a youth. I'm going to take a moment to brag a bit. Cuddle Bear made Principal's list this year. He took some hard classes (like a college entry level physics course) and did well in them. He has matured a lot over the last year and grown several inches. I think he's actually taller than me now.

Snuggle Bug struggled with mathematics this year, which is typically his strong suit. I suspect it was a case of his learning style didn't mesh with the teacher's teaching style. I'm concerned but I am not going to worry because I know that they're going to work on that in summer session. Snuggle Bug is worried that it's going to be ridiculous like it was last year but I reassured him that they have a new teacher for summer session and it's going to be different. 

Back to my initial comments. Dr. M. is talking about putting me on antidepressant that will get me over the last bit of symptoms. I'm a little nervous because there's a number that don't work properly with my brain. (I suspect the fact that I developed migraines after being on Paxil is not a surprise because it is genetically contraindicated for me. It also did nothing for my depression.) There's this really cool test called GeneSight that checks your genetic profile against a battery of psychological medications and tells you which ones work for you and which ones don't. I got lucky and my health insurance covered it.

The antidepressant list of what will work is disappointingly small. Hence my mild anxiety about it. But Dr. M. is a good psychiatrist and an all around good guy doing his best to help me. I just wish I didn't have my brain doing this stuff. I basically slept through spring and a good portion of summer. These are usually my productive months. It makes me dread when the seasonal affective disorder burst in like the Kool-aid man and screws everything up again.