I feel like garbage but I'm getting stuff done.

I have conceded defeat on the hair front. I had always hoped that I was going to have the long, snow white, gorgeous hair that my great-grandmother Hazel had. Female pattern baldness is setting in and my hair is thinning and starting to come out in great chunks. My hair dresser said to me that stress can do it. She's been watching my hair go white real time over the last few months. I wanted to believe her and that if my stress levels went down, I could have my long hair again. Then I took a shower and noticed how much of my scalp I could see. I almost sat down and cried. I am not a vain person but my hair was a trait I took pride in. My philosophy was always I could do what ever I want with it and it would grow back. Now that's not so sure. So, this past weekend, Beloved helped me to shave my head. 

My argument was if Sinead O'Connor could pull it off, I could too. Here's the before picture, if you haven't seen it on FB or Instagram. If you look carefully you can see where one of the thin spots in the front is. And the lack of balance between the hair on both sides, because the other thin spot that shed enough hair to make a small mouse in the span of two days is across from the cowlick holding straight up on the left side.

I was a little nervous about this picture. I was disappointed I couldn't keep rocking the faux hawk that I loved to do over the last few years. It was fun confusing my father-in-law with it. The look was very agender and with how I carry myself, it tended toward a masc feeling. He blue screened the first time he saw it. I had someone mistakenly call me 'sir' and I laughed, at which point they blushed beautifully and stumbled over an apology.

It makes me wonder what the new look is going to get response wise. As of the moment, I am getting back into my scarves and figuring out how to work this with out a quarter mile of hair to twist into a bun to hold the looks into place. I will

probably be purchasing a few items to help me with my scarves. Wrapunzel has a velvet shaper, I may be lucky and find one that is small enough for my head and at a reasonable price.

The new look came with a new accessory. I confess, I love wearing a collar. The edgier the better. It's in stark contrast with what people who have known me most of my life expect and lets me play around with looks that I've always admired. I found this collar with the hearts and spikey studs on it as Spirit Halloween of all places for $12. It has nickel in the hearts, so I had to paint them with nail polish to protect my skin from it.

But it's totally worth it. Now I just have to figure out how to move forward on some other clothing transformations for my look. I have enough flexability that I can do Mom Goth to Laundry Day Goth. (The latter being when my outfit matches my colorful, floral print combat style boots.)

I'd be more excited about all of this if I wasn't sick and way behind on chores. As of the moment, I am blogging when I really should be watering plants and washing dishes. I spent my whole morning on getting the mass of papers on the desk sorted out. I found correspondence dating back to 2017. I should have done this a long time ago. Tomorrow I will be filing everything, including the huge pile of papers on the baker's rack in the kitchen. I would get some work done, sit down to rest and fall asleep for a half hour. Stupid pneumonia just is kicking my butt. At least I look kinda cool.