Oh boy, life's going to get interesting.

 The major leadership figures of the Filianic and Déanic faith traditions are going dark on the internet. It is happening just as there is a new wave of people who seek to learn about Filianism and Déanism. This would not be a big deal except for one thing. I'm one of the few public ordained priestesses still blogging and writing about Filianism (and my specific weird sect of it). I have a feeling that the pressures of dealing with the influx of new devotees caught people off guard and left them reeling. Rather an leaning into the situation, they chose to step back.

All of this comes on the heels of my realizing that my version of Filiansim really does qualify as its own sect. As such, I've been writing and working to bring my writings into alignment with the holy scriptures of this faith (known as the Clear Recital). I don't know what's going to become of this. I wonder if the universe had a reason for making the tarot business I was running tank on the same day that a major Déanic tradition announced that they were closing down their site and completely revamping it. 

There is a part of me that is annoyed. It wonders if these people were cosplaying being worshippers of Déa because they wanted to be unique. It wonders if the leadership figures were in it for power games and if they lacked the moral fortitude to step up and lead. I strive to put aside these cynical thoughts, but they keep creeping up when I recall how one of them faked their own death on social media much to the distress of many of the younger members of the faith.

I was going to try to focus on tarot reading while the kids were doing homework and such after school. I was going to write during the day while they were at school. Now... Now I feel like I need to schedule office hours for devotees of Déa to have consultation when they need it. Now I really feel the pressure to finish writing my version of the Clear Recital. I have no idea what's going to become of this. I didn't walk into this looking to be a leadership figure. 

I oathed myself to Déa a long time ago and figured that I'd spend my time in prayer and writing. Things kept happening that put me in a position where I was offering spiritual guidance after I finished my training in Wicca. Now, I don't know where this goes next. I have an uneasy feeling that I am going to be leading people and I'm not that great at public speaking. Gods help me, I don't know if this is going to go the way I suspect it will be or not.

And I have other writing commitments popping up. I've stumbled into the river of fate and I'm not sure if I'm about to hit the rapids or not. Wyrd goes where she will. I'll do my best to trust in the gods and stay out of my own way. I have this bad habit of getting nervous and then getting in my own way. Not so great if you're trying to do work or much of anything else.