For example, LARP was tonight. I forgot. It sucks. I kinda wanted to go be social. On the other hand, I realized that I don't have the spoons for being social. So, now I am worried that my friends think that I've just dropped them from my life. I've a friend that moved recently who has invited me over to her new place. I can't bring myself to go there because I'm kinda terrified I'm going to get lost. It is literally two or three turns from here to there, including the one out of my driveway to get on the road. I'm afraid to go significant distances driving right now. I worry about what I will do if my blood sugar gets too low. I worry about what I'm going to do if I have a panic attack. And then there is the practical worries that go with driving at night.
I'm not doing too great. I know that there are some who are going to read this and get a chuckle out of it. To those souls specifically: FUCK YOU. I'm fighting a war in my head every day that has me struggling to function. I've been depressed now for a year. So, laugh it up while you can because it will come back on you at some point.
In the mean time, I need to go drink another bottle of water and contemplate how to get rid of spiders with out murdering them all.
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