Dreading the dentist.

I have some dental issues. They're a result of poor dental hygiene that arose from depression brain fog. I tend to forget things when I am depressed. I wish it was something that had me forgetting inconsequential things. I think it would be easier that way. But, life is not easy. Thus, my self-care skills take a complete nosedive when I am depressed. This leads to my developing problems with my teeth.

I have several visits lined up with the Eastman Dental Clinic over the next few weeks. I am torn between irritation that I have to do this, again, and anger at myself over the fact that I am in this situation. On top of all that, I find myself getting anxious over the idea that the dentist or the staff are going to shame me for the state of my teeth. That last point is really bothering me because these people are absolute professionals and have excellent bedside manner. Seriously, they are the least judgmental people I have encountered and have been nothing but professional and helpful.

My therapist says that my anxiety is most likely due to my social phobia. It is funny to think that. Most people, when they dread the dentist, they dread the dental work. I don't like getting work done on my teeth. It is uncomfortable, awkward, and expensive. But I don't get in a tizzy over it. It's all this fear over what they might be thinking about me or how they're going to treat me. I wish that I didn't get all twisted up over this.

My therapist says that this anxiety will improve over time. I hope so, because this is really crappy.