Re-post from my Keen Blog

Just because I think my little rant about spit up will amuse folks...

Here's the other Blog --> http://blogs.keen.com/Cydira

Schedules and other fun things with a baby!

I had the mistaken impression that my little one would settle down into something that resembles a schedule by now (actually, a little before now). I think the only thing that resembles anything like a schedule is that if he gets his bottle at midnight, he will sleep thru most of the night. It's a bit difficult to otherwise schedule anything. As such, I will be available on the phone when he is napping or playing quietly. If you happen to hear fussing in the background when you call, please do not be too alarmed.

Bathing this child is almost enough to make me rethink that cat bathing should be a martial art. Baby bathing is almost as bad. Granted, you don't have an angry feline ready to claw you to ribbons for comitting the grevious insult of getting it wet, but trying to hold the child still to clean them is nigh on impossible. I don't know if I will ever get to a point where I can accomplish this by myself! Right now, it feels like we need three people to do it.

One person to keep the baby from wriggling around so much he goes under water (not that there's much there, but some how this kid manages to nearly get his head into the mere inch of water in his little tub). One person to bathe him (who must have three hands to counter flailing limbs). And a third person to entertain the child and hopefully keep him from making all parties deaf with his hollering at the indignity of being nude, let alone soaped up and washed. So, like I was implying earlier, maybe this should be a martial art!

Some of the things that babies do I really had absolutely no comprehension of what it meant. Spit up, for example, is not mearly some little gob of formula that winds up on the chin to be wiped off with the bib after burping. Spit up can also be:

1. A fountain of formula that flies out of the nose and mouth of the child if he drinks one ounce too many. The probability of it landing on your clothes or the rug is proportional to the value of the clothes and inversely proportional to the avaiability of resources to steam clean formula out of the rug.
2. A thin stream that resembles milk colored phlegm from the nose, making a new mother wonder at first if the child has a cold when it first appears.
3. A clothing accessory for mother (or father, or any other person burping the child). Extra special people may have spit up as a hair accessory! (Hence the reason why I wear my hair in a ponytail or under a bandanna when I'm burping the baby!)
4. A clothing accessory for the child. Forget just on the burp cloth or the bib, this stuff goes everywhere!
   
5. A pre-wash for the not so dirty infant swing. After all, those things really do need washed every 5 minutes, right? It says so in the owner's manual, in the really fine print!

I love the little monster, but I have times where I want to pull my hair out. And then, he's so cute that I'm amazed I ever feel so fustrated. As I have been telling my husband, the cuteness is an evolutionary trait. It lulls us into a false sense of security, thinking that the fussiness, explosive diapers, and sleepless nights just happen that one time. Boy, is this parenting thing going to be a wild ride.

A bit of shameless self promotion, please forgive me of any irritation but:

If you're looking for a tarot reading, please contact me on Keen. I'd be happy to do one for you, my rates are posted here. I am still learning how to put together web pages, so if the information on the page is confusing, I apologize. Please, e-mail me and I'll be happy to clear up any questions you might have.