10 days and counting

Well, it's ten days until the due date. I'm nervous, excited, and generally feeling a bit like I'm all over the place right now. This weekend, my dear and darling husband has been working very hard to get things rearranged so that the furniture we need for the baby can be in here. His brother so very generously helped us out. It was a good thing, to say the least, as I'm at a point where I'm not exactly useful for doing things like moving bookcases and such.

I didn't really get to do much more then supervise. It was frustrating because I felt like I should be jumping into the fray and helping out, too. I have been having some kinda wild mood swings over the last few days. I feel like it's making me a terrible person to put up with, never mind live with right now. Hubby has been generally of good cheer about it all and managing it with a sense of aplomb that I wish I could accomplish at the moment. I didn't exactly enjoy being hit with a weepy sense of angst that I was losing my sex-life for good and that I was doomed to be a mediocre parent at best. It was especially terrible because it happened at 11 O'clock at night last night, right when we were going to bed.

From what I've been told, mood swings get worse as it gets closer to delivery. I'm hoping that since I didn't have really wild mood swings before now, these won't rival some of the ones that I had back in high school. As funny as it may sound, I think I was a crazy child in high school because of the plain insanity of hormones (aggravated by the fact that I've poly-cystic ovary syndrome, which means the hormones aren't functioning quite right to begin with). The other worry that I have is that with the hormones being all over the place, I may just have to deal with a bad case of postpartum depression. That makes me very nervous, to be honest because some folks in my family didn't just have postpartum depression but a postpartum psychosis.

I've to admit, though, the different reproductive system related problems that I've got running around in my family, I'm thankful that it's not as bad as it could be. The baby is healthy. I'm healthy. (I don't know why the doctors are always just about glowing as they tell me how proud/happy they are that I've been taking good care of myself. It's almost as weird as the hospital staff not fully comprehending that I was pregnant and I had appendicitis back in January.) The first thing that was tried worked for helping us conceive, unlike my aunt who had to go thru years of fertility treatments and a few lost pregnancies to have her little boy. I'm really thankful for this child. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to have children because of all the problems that run in my family. So this... this is a huge blessing for many, many reasons.

So now, we just have to make it thru the next week (approximately). Then we'll have a new, wonderful little baby in our home. It's funny, because this is all happening so close to our wedding anniversary. Hubby was joking with me that it was planned perfectly, I didn't need to think about what to give him as a gift at all for our anniversary. I realize that money is going to be a bit tight with the baby and all, but I still want to do something special for him. It's been three years on the 5th of next month that we've been married. It doesn't feel like it.

Some how, I'll think of something, even if he insists that I don't need to. He's helped me make so many of my dreams come true. I just can't ignore that or the fact that it's a great excuse to really do something wonderful for him. The man's the best thing to ever happen to me.