Time for Celebrations!

On the evening of the 19th, we learned that I am pregnant. My darling husband and I are both quite excited, absolutely delighted, and more then a little apprehensive about the practical things (like money and health insurance). We know that things are going to be ok, it's just the journey from here to there is always weird and challenging. We seem to have a magnet for that kind of thing, for some reason.

I'm not entirely sure what else to post here. I ran out and bought copies of What to Expect when You're Expecting, the What to Expect when you're Pregnant companion journal, and the Expectant Father. I've been talking to my parents and his parents, writing down notes about all of the conditions that run in the family. I think I've spoken to my Mother more in the last week then I have over the last two months. Our family and friends are all ecstaticly happy for us. I've girlfriends from college just about ready to hop on the next flight to come up and give the two of us (well, technically the three of us) hugs.

At the same time, I'll admit some nervousness here. I'm concerned that I won't be the best mother that I can be for this little baby (or possibly babies, I'm in line for twins!), while at the same time I know that I'll do my best. I'm struggling against some of my own expectations for what I should be like as a mother and a wife. I realize that I've set some of those expectations far too high and it's not good for me. I'm just struggling to break the habit of expecting perfection from myself 90% of the time. I realize that placing that kind of stress upon myself is not going to be good for me or the baby(ies).

So... how on earth do you manage to make yourself chill out when at the same time you want to make sure that the kid(s) have all the possible benefits and advantages that you didn't have as a kid and be the most loving and supportive parent you can possibly be? This is going to be interesting.

I know it's going to be alright. It's just getting from here to there is going to be weird. I'm filled with so much joy and gratitude that I really don't have words for it. I've got the words for the anxiety and the pragmaticism, even for a generic description of what we're doing. I just don't have the words for the joy. I wonder if this is how most mothers feel when they learn that they are expecting a bundle of joy?