It's been a long day and I'm blogging to avoid doing dishes, laundry and any other sundery chores.
It's not a good sign when I'm doing this to avoid stuff. especially when there isn't that much stuff to do.
I came to the conclusion that I'd make a better witch then a catholic. It took alot of debate, examination, introspection, and other stuff like that. The revelation that the peace I felt was from no longer questioning if I would be impressing the right people made me understand that it wan't the peace of Christ that I found.
Throw that together with how I kept twitching towards the whole doing the witch thing to solve problems, it's kinda obvious that I'd do rather poorly.
*****
And then I had a conversation with my sister in law. The one who was my self styled cheerleader for conversion. Yeah.. that went real well. She's mad at me and feeling some what betrayed, I think. I'm torn between feeling angry with her, upset with myself, or just ... irritated. I wasn't turning Catholic to make her life easier. I wasn't doing the witchcraft thing to make my friend's lives easier.
She seems to think that if I don't do things her way or let her have her way that I'm a bad person. It's the only thing that shines through in her reactions to me since the wedding day. She hadn't had the nerve to complain that I was making her brother's life miserable because I wasn't allowing him to go visit her. But that's because the phone call didn't last long enough and I kept the topic well away from my husband.
What is it going to take to get this girl to understand that the world doesn't revolve around her? She's so focused on having everything happen just the way she wants to see it happen, that she ignores the damage she does to all of her other relationships. On one hand, I"m angry with her for all of her ... well... her poor behavior. On the other hand, I want to help her see just what's wrong and help her fix the problems, this way she can succeed in life. And another part of me just wants to walk away and say "Ok, it's your life. You know what's best, and I'm not going to stand in your way. You must know what you're doing."
I just can't do that and watch her go down in flames. But I had that happen with a friend a few years ago. And she turned into a pheonix. So.. maeby there's hope.
I'm not so sure about this one, though. She keeps cycling farther and farther down.
1 comment:
At least she's not pulling an Em. Although her path seems to be just as bad. *sigh*.
I hope I've never tried to pressure you into converting. I was happy for you, I figured you'd understand me a bit more if you knew my faith better, but I never once wanted to force *anyone* to a path *I* deem proper. The road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions after all.
I'm happy for you that you're being yourself, and as long as you find satisfaction in your life, I will support you and be your cheering section. For you are my sister by choice, and I treasure you.
Oh, word verification for the day? Thpia.... sounds like some sort of strange plant, or a mixed drink.... Or worse... but I won't get into that, as I have reputation as naive to uphold.
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