The letter n is representitive of a real integer that follows the sequence 1+1, 1+2, 1+3, ... which just happens to indicate that I have forgotten what number I would be at in said sequence.
Oh.. did I mention that I was a science geek? :p And now... on with the rant.
Well, this was my last week at the daycare and it was hellish. I say it with utter honesty and no repentance for the mild vulgarity. To express my true feelings may perhaps require additional vulgarity as a mode of expunging the rather intense repulsion for the people I worked with and the bitter resentment I feel for their poor behavior. In my "exit interview" I noted as much. I felt like I wrote a small novel. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The week in a nutshell:
Monday: I ran around like a maniac trying to control the poor behavior of several school age children. Frequently, I was on my own in the matter because the boss kept calling my comrade in arms away to deal with crisises that required his efforts. And then the sent the kid in... the 17 yr old who just serves to wind up the children in the room and leaves it in more chaos then when she arrived.
Tuesday: Well, the morning was ok... except for having to eat lunch at 11:30 am. And breaking up 2 fights. Then we went to the pool. It was... amazing. The kids didn't get into fights and generally behaved themselves. Tuesday was the best day of the week. We didn't lose any children or property. And I got that wonderful phone call about the new job. I even resisted the temptation to just walk out the door.
Wendsday: The day opened with the boss chastising us for being late to the bus on leaving Tuesday. Mind you we were trying to get the children all ready to go and to behave well enough that we were confident they would make it there and back. The boss even had to come out into the hall way when the kids were lined up to get them to quiet down. Oh yeah, the boss also gave us grief for being late to the bus on leaving. Never mind that there were 11 boys in that locker room all trying to get changed and only one adult (the poor, poor man) trying to keep them from playing. And we also got flack for a missing lesson plan. That was the tone for the whole day.
Thursday: Bad behavior by the children. Alot of kids were generally crushed when I broke the news about my leaving the center. For some reason, that made them act up especially badly. Boss continued to give my co-worker and I grief over the missing lesson plan. We were forced to ban a popular card game played by the kids for the rest of the week. And then start confiscating cards as children snuck them in to the room. That was pretty rough... It only got worse as I had my less competent co-workers (I was working with one of the 4 competent people in the place aside from myself.) start giving my grief about problems they had and couldn't resolve. And then they sent my reinforcement home at the middle of the day and left me to deal with the small army on my own. Me vs. 11 school age kids... good thing I was used to worse odds. Me vs. 19 school age kids. :p
Friday: More aggrivation about the miserable lesson plan. More kids viewing my leaving as an excuse for causing trouble. The co-workers that regularly gave me the "please save me from me incompetance" pitch 90 % of the time decided that this was a great day to complain about how I wouldn't be there to clean up their messes. I was a good person and restrained the urge to tell these schmucks exactly what I thought of them. I had the pain of saying good bye to these children that I found I had bonded to despite my best efforts. There was the headache of the boss giving me grief about how the floor needed to be mopped to the best of my ability and the entire room spotless before I left. And the annoyance of the boss asking for the 3rd time (since I informed her on Tuesday that I was leaving) if I was going to come in on Monday to help them deal with the kids.
When I got home Friday night, I didn't have the heart to clean up the dishes and make dinner. Hubby took me out to eat, but I started crying before we got to the restaraunt. I still can't believe that I won't see those kids again. Sure, I could go visit, but that wouldn't be good for the kids. I need to make a clean break with them. But it pains me because I realize that a part of me came to view those little monsters as my little monsters. And what do you say when a child that is in the foster parent program says to you "I'm going to miss you. I hope that I get a Mom just like you when I get adopted." Or when the 1 1/2 yr old cries when he realizes that you're not going to be there. And don't let any body fool you, toddlers and infants understand when some one is going away for good.
Yeah... I'm a little crushed. It was a horrid week. And hubby has been making me sit and relax today. I'm torn between feeling useless and depressed. Oh well, life happens.
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