The last month of intensive therapy journal work has been hellish. I feel isolated (which is darkly funny given the fact that I have people in my head). I have been on the hell-ride of depression still though daylight lasts a bit longer. Theoretically, I should be doing better but I don't feel like it.
My blood sugar got fucked up by my medication as my psych and I were trying to figure out the right cocktail to get me to sleep through the night. I was on Seroquel (at it's lowest dose) to get me to sleep since October-ish. That made my blood sugar go up. I didn't put two and two together until recently. We're first trying a moderately high dosage of hydroxizine to see if it takes care of the problem. Hydroxizine is in the same family as Benadryl (which is why I shouldn't take Benadryl when my sinus allergies act up). At the dosage I'm on, I fall asleep relatively easily. The issue is am I staying asleep through the night.
We'll see over the next week or so. I wake up in the middle of the night and then around three or four in the morning. Recently, it's been five in the morning. I know I'm not in a mixed or manic episode. My mood and my behavior puts me pretty squarely in the mild/moderate depression state. I've been struggling to find the motivation to do anything. That makes hours of therapy journaling a struggle. Hell, it makes putting my laundry away a struggle.
Still, I'm trying and I'm planning on coming back to blogging next week. I don't have anything special planned, I'm just going to post random shit that comes to mind. As of the moment, I am tired but I'm doing my best.
